Here we go y'all. I'm very tired and about to conk out, so I'm happy to answer questions tomorrow or I'm sure many of the other attendees can help out. Keep in mind that this is my take, I didn't report everything, and episodes always play out differently on the screen than what you read. If you're happy, that's great. I'm pretty happy with the episode. But if you're upset, I just ask that you please wait until you watch the episode before you make a shitstorm because honestly, it's not worth it. If you're upset, you are entitled to it and you are not wrong, but you also may change your mind when you watch the episode. I am not the writers, nor am I the actors. I am but a mere fan with imperfect eyes, imperfect ears, and an imperfect memory. I cannot convey their emotion, or the subtleties in the text, or anything else. Bill Prady said it best. The show is what exists in the episodes you watch, not what you read on a message board. So here's just something to think about and talk about while you wait to see the show, but it shouldn't be something to blow a gasket over. Let's all remember Status Quo. Let's all remember that we love this show and these characters and all things considered, the episode was very well done.
All right, my feet have left the soap box. Let's do the thing.
The episode is "The Commitment Determination." It applies to four couples and across all storylines. Directed by Mark Cendrowski. Story by Chuck Lorre, Jim Reynolds, and Maria Ferrari. Teleplay by Steven Molaro, Steve Holland, and Eric Kaplan.
COLD OPEN. Two takes. (Only first take has kissing.)
Apartment 4A, Sheldon and Amy.
Amy and Sheldon sit on the couch, she in a pink floral dress and he in his dress pants and dress shirt (no jacket/blazer). The scene begins with them in mid-make out, his left hand on her thigh and right hand around her shoulder, her hands on his shoulders. The camera slowly pushes in as they continue to make out. When they break apart, Amy is breathless. She can't believe that it's been five years since their first date (the day they met). Sheldon is all smiles as he agrees. And then he wonders: should he watch the new series, The Flash?
Amy is taken aback. "Is that seriously what you're thinking about right now?" Sheldon's smile remains as he says, "Among many things." Amy wonders if any of those things is her. He says yes, and then explains: "I was wondering, should I watch the Flash? Oh I know, I'll ask Amy!" He grins and leans in to continue kissing, but she stops him with fingers to his lips and pushes him back, asking him what he thinks he's doing. "You're right," he says, "you kind of killed the mood."
They stand up and walk into the kitchen and she asks him if he can see the irony in how he admires a superhero known for his speed when they've been together for five years and all she can get from him is a distracted makeout session on the couch. Sheldon admits he's not very good with irony, but he's been getting better with sarcasm, so would she like to give that a go? She sarcastically responds, "Sure, I'd love to!" He tells her she can do so any time.
SCENE A. Two takes, three pick ups.
Comic book store. Raj, Emily, Stuart.
Emily and Raj are flipping through comic books, and she expresses that it has been a while since she's been in a comic book store. Raj encourages her to point him out and exclaim that he's her boyfriend if anyone wants to know. (This part may be cut based on following pickups.)
Stuart comes out from the back and informs them that he's closing early to go eat some meatloaf that Bernie is making for Howie. Not that they invited him, but that's not going to stop him.
Emily finds a creepy looking skull with screws and things coming out of it and asks Raj how cool it would be in her bedroom as a lamp. Being the Pottery Barn kinda guy that he is, he's not really into it. Deflated by his lack of enthusiasm, Emily reluctantly puts it back. Raj feels so badly that he offers to buy it for her. Stuart is already counting his money.
SCENE B. Two takes.
Apartment 4A. Sheldon, Leonard, Penny.
When Leonard and Penny arrive home, Sheldon is desperate for answers to his relationship crisis. He explains that Amy is upset with him and he can't figure out why. Penny shrewdly identifies the problem: Sheldon was talking right before she got upset. When Sheldon explains what happened ("we were necking like a couple of teenagers" and "we were necking like a couple of hooligans under the school bleachers" and then "goodbye kissy face, hello yelly face"), Penny quickly understands the situation and ends up having to explain it to both of the boys, who are busy weighing the pros and cons of starting and getting invested in a new TV show. She explains that when you're kissing a girl, you should be focused on her. Sheldon still doesn't get it. He thought to ask her about Flash, doesn't that count?
SCENE C. Two takes, one pickup.
Wolowitz kitchen. Howard, Bernadette, Raj.
As the trio prepare dinner, Raj wonders if his friends have ever noticed Emily's twisted side. He mentions that she wants to have sex in a graveyard, and Bernie doesn't see a problem as long as they both consent. Raj admits that he might not be consenting consensually. He contemplates breaking up with her, but Howard doesn't think he's got the guts to do it. Raj says the same thing about the two of them breaking up with Stuart by throwing him out the house – they never have, and they never will.
SCENE D. Two takes, one pickup.
Apartment 4A. Sheldon, Leonard, Penny.
Penny asks if Sheldon has heard from Amy. It's been twenty-four hours, he says. That should be enough time for her to realize she's wrong. Penny agrees with Amy that he's been taking the relationship slowly. Sheldon defends that it's "called foreplay," and then points out that she and Leonard have done the same with their relationship. Penny waves her engagement ring in his face to prove him wrong. In typical Sheldon fashion, the information goes over his head and he, confusedly, waves his ringless hand backwards at her in return.
Leonard and Penny explain, in perfect adorable synchronicity (each saying a few words at a time as one) that they are focused on work and they'll pick a date when they're ready. Sheldon is completely fine with this information, but I guess his judgment (or their guilt) is pretty loud so they tell him to shut up.
SCENE E. Two takes.
Wolowitz living room. Howard, Bernadette.
Bernie asks if Howard ate her yogurt. Turns out, Stuart must like yogurt that helps ladies do what they say they don't do but they actually do. Bernie thinks it's high time they kick that boy out of their house, and Howard thinks it should have been months ago. Bernie points out that they didn't want to do it while he was getting the comic book store back up and running or during the holidays, or when his aunt died. Howard thinks it's suspect that aunts always seem to die when they bring up the living situation. (Second take was that Stuart was sick, and Howard thinks he made that up; he doesn't have jaundice, his face just looks like that!)
They agree to talk to him tonight. Howard's dropping the hammer. (Don't confuse that for him taking charge. Nah, Bernie is the hammer.)
SCENE H. Three takes.
Apartment 4A. Sheldon, Leonard, Penny.
While they clean up dinner, Leonard asks Penny why they haven't set a date. She says that they've been busy and things are good and they're not in a rush. If he wants to pick a date, he can. Leonard says it isn't just about that; they haven't planned anything. Cue the rapid fire decision making; they want a small, indoor wedding, black tie, and although Penny wants butterflies released, it's probably not in the budget for CBS. Expect the occasional Sheldon Cooper peanut gallery commentary from across the room. He's not in the conversation, he just has a lot of opinions.
SCENE J. Playback.
Graveyard. Raj, Emily.
Raj and Emily are having their horror film picnic in the graveyard. Just the two of them. And all the dead people. Emily wonders if he's scared of ghosts, but he's more scared of her, if we're all going to be honest here.
SCENE K. Two takes, one pick up.
Apartment 4A. Sheldon, Leonard, Penny.
Sheldon apologizes for making everybody upset, and they wave it off saying it's probably best that they talked about it anyway. He wonders if that means they're picking a date, and Penny has finally had it. Why is it so important to everyone that they pick a date? Leonard explains that they love each other and that it doesn't matter if they get married tomorrow, a year from now, or in fifty years. Penny's not too keen on the idea of waiting until they're old and gross. Sheldon remembers his old and gross aunt and uncle who were married for 63 years and began to take on the properties of melting cheese by the end. He exits the living room since, you know, he probably shouldn't be in this conversation in the first place.
Penny sidles over to Leonard on the couch and mentions that she's free tonight. The audience is losing our shit. Is she for real? Leonard asks, for what? Penny's ready to start melting with him. We're losing the rest of our shit. Vegas isn't that far a drive, and Leonard is so game for this idea that it's not even funny. It's really not funny because we're actually screaming and clapping and crying messes on the floor. Sheldon is positively beaming from his perch. He's so happy that after all these years, they're finally doing it. But seriously, Penny, have you learned nothing? Get out of Sheldon's spot.
SCENE L. Playback.
Wolowitz living room. Howard, Bernadette, Stuart. / Graveyard. Raj, Emily.
Stuart comes home and Mr. and Mrs. Astronaut are ready to lay down the law. Too bad it seems like Stuart's kind of a standup guy who's replacing the yogurt he ate and also bought Howard some cereal. While he puts the groceries away, Bernie and Howie give each other the courage not to let that deter them. When Stuart comes back out to talk, they found out that it's his birthday. Probably better to just give the guy some cake than an eviction notice, eh?
Intercut with this breakup scene is Raj and Emily's. With much the same outcome. They're making out, but Raj puts a stop to it. He needs to talk to her about how they're very different people. Emily's pretty sure he's about to break up with her and asks him as much. But he quickly backtracks. She tells him to just do it if he's going to do it, because she's not going to do it for him. But it turns out what he really wanted to say is that he loves her, and he plants a big one on her.
I guess no one is breaking up tonight.
Oh wait, let's hold onto that thought for a second. Everyone got a drink handy? Okay, sweet. Let's do this. Deep breaths. Get your therapist on speed dial.
SCENE M. Re-enactment.
Leonard's car. Leonard, Penny.
Leonard wonders if people will be mad that they're eloping, but Penny doesn't care. This is about them, not anyone else. She's so happy they're going to do this, no regrets. Leonard's not so sure. Penny wonders what's wrong. Leonard admits that he has something he wants to get out before they do this so they can start their marriage with no secrets. He reminds her of his North Sea trip, and the audience is already in a state, as is Penny. He mentions that there was a lot of drinking, and yes, Penny remembers that bit quite vividly.
Leonard explains that there was this girl... Penny demands to know what happened. Leonard continues that it was just kissing and nothing else. Penny's wondering why he's bringing this up now. It seems like they're getting married, and he wants to sabotage it. He's just trying to be honest. But while Penny is not the happiest we've ever seen her, she can live with it. It was just kissing, it was before they were engaged, and he's being honest about it now. He asks if they're still getting married, and she says yes. He tries to make it better by telling her the kissing wasn't that good, but that's probably not the words he needs to be saying right now.
TAG SCENE. One take.
Apartment 4A, Sheldon. Amy's apartment, Amy.
Sheldon makes a Skype call to Amy, who picks up quite melancholy. Sheldon begins to tell her that he's been thinking about relationships a lot lately, but Amy interrupts. She has too, and this is not going to be easy for her to say because she loves him so much. But she's been very patient with him. (To which, Sheldon evidently does not agree.) She's been put through the ringer, emotionally and physically, and she just needs some time and space to sort herself out. She hopes he can understand. He is quite shocked and doesn't quite know what to say except that he understands and agrees. She says goodbye, and they hang up.
Sheldon closes the lid to his laptop quite sadly. He consults the Gollum on his desk, who knows a thing or two about rings. (Cue shrieking from the audience. Was I a part of that? I can neither confirm nor deny.) He reaches into the desk and pulls out a ring box with an engagement ring. "What do I do with this?"