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Stephen Hawking

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Everything posted by Stephen Hawking

  1. The victims name was Jehovah. Police are looking for witnesses.
  2. A German was peeing in a street in New York, when a lady looks at him and says "Gross". The German says "Danke."
  3. Angela Merkel comes to the UK, to visit Boris Johnson. CUSTOMS OFFICER: "Name?" ANGELA MERKEL: "Angela Merkel." CUSTOMS OFFICER: "Nationality?" ANGELA MERKEL: "German." CUSTOMS OFFICER: "Occupation?" ANGELA MERKEL: "No, just visiting.
  4. But does it have one or two Pines? 😁
  5. Mayim doesn't have a dowager's hump. It's just something she invented for Amy.
  6. But the time circuit still requires ICs, or valves (tubes to you Americans). Lightning isn't striking in the same place twice. It's the same lightning strike.
  7. Loved that outfit. No, but you might get a Yeehaw. 😁
  8. Amy also states she can't go Ice Skating, because she has unusually brittle ankles. However, in the Separation Oscillation, Amy says "You mean the night that I went ice-skating, and you stood at the rail Googling the symptoms of hypothermia?"
  9. And one of the most gorgeous women I've ever seen, has one.
  10. My pet Squirrel has just died. To be honest, I'm surprised he lived as long as he did, with him having a nut allergy.
  11. My mate is gay and dyslexic, but he won't admit to it. I think he's in Daniel.
  12. "Hello, I'm Doctor Brown, and I see from your file, that you are Mrs A." "Beg your pardon, you have MRSA."
  13. I share Howard's disappointment. I too, would like to see Bernadette wearing that French Maids outfit.
  14. God is love - The devil is forty. Match point.
  15. Nope. Topless and naked are two different things.
  16. I was told a chicken will keep for three months in the freezer, but I put one in last night, and it was dead this morning.
  17. Santa Clause is dead, but, if you will grow a white beard and live in a grotto, it's only a matter of time before the Americans bomb the shit out of you.
  18. The BBC have announced that, due to a misunderstanding, the Saudi Arabian version of the TV show Flog It, has been cancelled.
  19. I'm ninety six, and I'm convinced young women are attracted to me. Am I suffering from Penile Dementia?
  20. With the relaxing of the lockdown rules, the seven dwarfs have been told that six of them can get together. One of them is not happy.
  21. Just finished watching the launch of the Falcon 9, with the Crew Dragon capsule. It was a successful launch, with the result that Hurley and Bob Behnken, are now in orbit.
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