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Stephen Hawking

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Everything posted by Stephen Hawking

  1. Some of these pairs are really hard choices.
  2. Charlie couldn't believe he was being granted access to the chocolate factory. His girlfriend had been dead against it for years.
  3. O-Level Exam. Question 1. What is Amnesia? a. Memory loss. b. Memory loss. 3. The battle of Hastings.
  4. The following movie contains scenes of a cup of tea. It's rated PG.
  5. I got home from work this evening, to find Saloon Bar doors on my house, and 5 dead Red Indians in my living room. I guess I must have hired Cowboy Builders.
  6. History Exam. Question 1. Where is Greece? a. The Southern Mediterranean. b. Up shit creek.
  7. I set my oven at 180 degrees, and now I can't open the door.
  8. Of course, our lovely lady is the only one, who is a real Doctor.
  9. 8000 men and one cubicle. The scene was set, for the battle of Portaloo. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sperm donors wanted. Please come quickly.
  10. You can have a bachelor party/event any time you like. It doesn't have to be immediately before the wedding.
  11. A thread for those things you've often wondered about. I'll start. I wonder if anyone has ever been allergic, to anti-allergy medicine.
  12. Whiskey on ice can give you liver disease. Rum on ice can give you kidney disease. Vodka on ice can give you heart disease. Proof that ice is really bad for you.
  13. I can't believe I've just voted against an episode, that includes Shamy, and a Shamy kiss at that.
  14. They're making a movie about a MASH unit, that treats soldiers who have suffered injuries to their genitals. It's going to be called Saying Ryan's Privates.
  15. Nike is sponsoring the London Zoo, Panda breeding program. JUST DO IT!
  16. I wonder if that's the bike, her mom was worried she'd lose her virginity on. 😀
  17. The fastest ever man-made object, was a manhole cover.
  18. Take a look at this video, at 58:31 Is that our lovely lady, in the front row, wearing the white blouse and black skirt?
  19. If you do not keep up payment to your exorcist, your home may be repossessed.
  20. For years, I've been trying to track down the full Series of the Sitcom Mad About You. I managed to buy the first two Seasons, but it was kinda like foreplay, as in it gets you aroused, but then leaves you quite frustrated at not being able to reach the end. Finally, I managed to find the complete 7 Season Box Set as a US Import, and I've bought it, meaning I can now be fully satisfied. I've had to splash out (pun intended 😁 ) on a new DVD player, but it's worth it.
  21. Harry Potter isn't much of a Wizard, if he can't even fix his own astigmatism.
  22. I've just received instructions from the kidnappers. They say if I want my kids back, I've got to hand over my cousin Esther. Yes, it's an Esther Ransom.
  23. Presenting Tantric Sex the movie - Not coming soon.
  24. It was difficult picking just 16. ☚ī¸
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