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Stephen Hawking

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Everything posted by Stephen Hawking

  1. Sheldon's a lot like Judy Geller. They say what they think, without considering the feelings of the people they're saying it to/about.
  2. If it tastes like butter, and spreads straight from the fridge, you've probably had a power cut.
  3. McDonald have announced that they're stopping using Styrofoam, and will be using cardboard instead. I reckon, eventually, they're going to have to use meat.
  4. I hired a man to pebble-dash my house, but the technique he used isn't quite what I was expecting.
  5. A computer fraudster has stolen 5 million Nectar points. Police are looking for a disappointed man, with one new wine glass.
  6. Was it really wrong, for Raj to be angry that guy dinged his car? I don't see that, just because he's elderly, he should get a free pass, to bash people's car doors.
  7. Dianne Abbott has announced that she wants to ban all private motor vehicles, in order to tackle the Car Owner Virus.
  8. The one that really annoys me, is when people refer to Queen Elizabeth II as "Her Royal Highness".
  9. The noises my girlfriend makes, during sex, are embarrassing. To be fair, she doesn't know I'm still in the house.
  10. My mate cries after sex. It's his own fault. If he hadn't broken the law, he wouldn't have got sent to prison.
  11. Use the Diary Luke. 😁
  12. Could be fun though.
  13. This Covid-19 business must be making life really difficult for Wally.
  14. Amy also lied to her mom, to stop her from pestering her about dating.
  15. Save yourself some money, by telling your children that Father Christmas didn't survive Covid-19.
  16. If your wife is leaving you, book her a taxi for 8pm on a Thursday. That way, it looks like all your neighbours are glad to be rid of her.
  17. Another question would be, what did Leonard and Penny call their child(ren)?
  18. You do know this thread is about future, after the end of the Series?
  19. I don't think it was a child, I think it was twins, called either Marie and Pierre, or Penny and Leonard. I'm inclined to think it would be the first two.
  20. The Chinese Government have banned Cricket, in case the people start eating the bats.
  21. I wasn't replying to you, hence not quoting. I was making a general comment.
  22. A Level Theology Exam. Question 1. Is there a God? You'll hope so, when you see the next question.
  23. If I have two directions to steer, and one has an deer in the way, and the other a human, I'm afraid Bambi is going to be toast.
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