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Stephen Hawking

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Everything posted by Stephen Hawking

  1. Can anyone identify the beautiful lady, standing next to Jennifer Aniston, in this picture?
  2. I read a report that said, 80% of people suffer with Hemorrhoids. So, do the other 20% enjoy them?
  3. NO. Have You Ever followed through?
  4. Sad news, Wally has died. His funeral is on Monday. Nobody knows where it is taking place, but that's how he would have wanted it.
  5. What's the difference between an Essex boy & an Essex girl? An Essex girl has a higher sperm count.
  6. A bean jug is a Tupperware jug, which has been stained orange, due to it being repeatedly used to microwave Baked Beans.
  7. Yes. Have you ever owned a bean jug?
  8. Once at school, in the Biology class, we wired a frog to a battery. That was the end of the French student exchange program.
  9. Note for Bernadette - Winston Churchill wasn't the Prime Minister of England. He was the Prime Minister of The United Kingdom.
  10. Yes she did. She was Skyping Sheldon, and he put Ramona on the webcam.
  11. It's funny how Americans and Brits have different words for the same thing. For instance, Americans say "gas", and we Brits say "sorry about that" Likewise, Americans say "ladybug", and we Brits say "chlamydia".
  12. But Amy saw her, a couple of days before Sheldon proposed.
  13. Why did Amy ask if it was Dr. Nowitzki in the Cafeteria, when she already knew what Ramona looks like?
  14. I've just installed a new voice on my Satnav. It's George Michael. It said "You haven't reached your destination, but hurl yourself out of the car anyway."
  15. The tiny creature the tardigrade can survive 6,600 Sieverts/per hour of radiation, which is 1,100 times the radiation that would kill a human being.
  16. Money saving tip - Don't buy Christmas presents for your elderly relatives, too soon.
  17. When I was at school, my Gym teacher used to try to motivate us, with sayings like "There's no I in team." How would he know? If he could spell, he wouldn't be a Gym teacher.
  18. Just seen another one. Man and woman arrive at a shop that has a "NO DOGS" sign on the door, so they put their dog in the pram, and wheel it inside. 🙄
  19. Here in the UK, there's a TV show called Virgin Diaries. I haven't seen it, but I can imagine what it's like - "No entries this month."
  20. I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know Y.
  21. Sheldon and Leonard couldn't have watched the midnight premiere of Star Trek Nemesis together, because its release date was December 13th 2002.
  22. There are signs saying "No Dogs" but people seem to think that if they carry them, or put them in a pram or bag, they cease to be dogs. 🙄
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