Okay, I'll do it. (:
6.8 - "The 43 Peculiarity"
It opens up with the four guys sitting in the cafeteria near the vending machine area. Sheldon is drawing on a napkin while the others are eating and they are curious. Leonard asks what he is drawing and he eagerly answers, "It's my design for a frisbee-sized wormhole that I would use to look into a parallel universe where there might be alien life." Howard gives a blank stare. "Oh, you silly little doodle-bug."
Leonard chimes in. "You know, some scientists say that if we did come in contact with other life forms it could end very badly for us."
Sheldon answers, "It's a frisbee-sized wormhole, Leonard... you can cover it with a frisbee." He puts up his hand. "Calm down."
Sheldon hands Howard the napkin and stands up. Howard looks at it, looks up and says, "What? Do you expect me to build this?" Sheldon snaps back, "No, I expect you to wipe the pudding off your chin. Afternoon, gentlemen." Then he walks away and down the hall.
Howard brings something up. He says, "Isn't it strange that Sheldon leaves the cafeteria every day at exactly 2:45?" and they both say, "Huh. That is strange." Raj says, "Maybe he's going to the bathroom?" Leonard immediately knows this is not the answer and says, "No, no... he goes to the bathroom at 7:30am and the occasional bathroom break at 1:45pm and then at 7pm on high-fiber Fridays."
Howard and Raj both look at him. Raj says, "It's sad that you know that." Leonard looks down at his salad and picks at it. "It's just the tip of the sad iceberg..."
Howard is looking at his phone at Sheldon's 'public calendar.' "I want to find out what he's doing. There's nothing on his public calendar from 2:45 to 3:05 every day. Nothing today... nothing yesterday... last week. Nothing last month?! We should find out what he's doing!"
Raj gets excited. "Ooooooh! This is so exciting!"
Later in Penny's apartment, she's sitting at the kitchen island and he's making a pot of tea. The kettle whistles, and he moves it off. She's texting with someone and you keep hearing the texting noises as she's receiving them. "How's work?" she asks. He answers, "Oh, good. [insert something highly scientific I can't remember, it's something about creating crystals for neutrinos - I really wish I remembered what this was, sorry]." as he's opening the refrigerator.
Penny stares off for a second. Quickly says, "That sounds like fun." but you can tell she's uneasy because she has noooo idea what that means. He turns around, smiles, and says, "Yeah, it was!" and she replies, "Oh good, I guessed right!"
Penny gets a text, reads it, and laughs. Leonard asks what's up and who she is talking to. She says it's just a guy from school.
Straight faced - "We're still dating, right?" She sighs. "We're just partners in class and we're doing an oral report together."
"What? I'm sorry, I didn't hear anything after that, I heard 'oral' and had a stroke."
She says, "Oh god, don't be weird! He's my partner in class and just moved here from London and has no friends.
"Ohhhhh, great. An English accent, that's the sexiest kind of accent you can have!"
"No, no, that's not true! There's French... and Italian... and... no, no, you're right, they're the best."
"Well, does he know you have a boyfriend?"
"I dunno, it never came up."
"Well tell him that you do."
"What do you want me to say?"
"Oh, I dunno. Say, 'Hey I can't talk right now, I'm hanging out with my boyfriend. England sucks, you suck, USA number one!"
She looks at him ridiculously. "All right." she says, and starts texting him, and she reads her text out loud. "Hanging out with my boyfriend I'll talk to you later."
She gets a fast reply. She looks at it and goes, "Hmph." and he says, "What did he say?"
She reads it out loud. "Did your boyfriend make you type that?"
Leonard stands there in silence. "I hate this guy." Penny says, "Oh, then I should tell you, and you probably won't be happy about it, but he's coming over so we can work on the project together."
"Yeah, but if it'll reallllly make you feel better, I can change partners even though the project is due next week and everyone already has a partner and then it won't get done and I'll probably end up failing the class."
Leonard starts to pour tea. "That would be great, thanks!"
Outside Sheldon's office door, Raj and Howard are waiting for him to come out. Sheldon comes out and Howard whispers to Raj, "2:44, right on schedule!" and they walk up to him. Howard says, "Hey, Sheldon." He responds with a cheery "Hello!"
Howard says, "Hey, we're going down to the genetics lab to pet the glow-in-the-dark bunny. Want to come?"
Raj adds, "Are you sure? You turn off the lights and it's like a cute laser show that poops everywhere."
"I'm sure, I'm fine."
"Where are you going?"
"That way." /motions down hall
"We know. But WHERE?"
"...where are you going?"
"We just told you where we were going, Sheldon."
"Well, that's your word against mine. See you in court." He walks off.
Howard turns to Raj, "Don't you want to know where he's going!"
"Yeah, but, now I'm torn... I want to know what he's doing but I kind of want to go play with the bunny..."
Alex walks out of Sheldon's office. "Hi guys!"
"Oh, hi Alex! Do you... have any idea where your boss is going?"
She replies, "No, but I do know that corduroy makes too much noise and now I have to go home and find [she makes quotations with her fingers] 'quieter pants.'" She walks away with a very, very annoyed look. Funny as hell.
Raj and Howard walk the other way. Raj says, "Man. What I would give to get her out of those pants." /pause/ "And into something a liiiittle more stylish."
Down in the university basement, Sheldon unlocks the storage room door and goes in. Howard and Raj pop their heads around the corner and follow.
Howard asks, "What do you think he could be doing in there for 20 minutes a day?"
"Well, he's not doing 20-minute-abs. If he were doing that, he'd have better abs..."
They go up to the door and try to listen to what's inside. They can't hear anything.
Raj gets his face too close to Howard's and Howard says, "Can you face the OTHER way and listen?" "I can't do anything right for you, can I?"
"What do you think he's doing in there?"
Raj answers, "I don't know. He is a weirdo. He could have... Leonard Nimoy chained up in there. Or Bill Gates. Or Stephen Hawking!"
"Why would he chain up Stephen Hawking?"
"Howard! You can't treat a man differently because he's disabled, that's NOT okay!"
In Leonard and Sheldon's apartment, Sheldon is sitting at his laptop. Leonard is looking out the peephole in the door.
Leonard says, "If you're wondering why I'm staring through the peephole it's because this guy from Penny's class is supposed to be here and they're going to work on a project."
Sheldon slowly turns. "To be honest, I didn't even know you were here."
Leonard looks at him, "You know, I don't even know why I'm doing this. I don't understand why I care. You know what, I don't care."
Sheldon says, "Pfft, you don't care..."
Leonard says, "You're right, I have nothing to worry about."
"Not necessarily. Statistically speaking, you have something to worry about."
Leonard stares at him.
"Let's just assume you have average looks. Right off the bat, 50% of men are better looking than you. That's 1.5 billion attractive lads waiting to rain on your parade."
Leonard continues to stare and says, "Looks aren't everything. I excel at lots of things."
"Not at vision, height, athleticism, or digesting dairy products."
"I'm not saying you don't have redeeming qualities! You're a good sleeper. More importantly, you buy the grapes I like." He smiles. "You're a catch compared to a snoring man who buys lousy grapes."
Leonard continues to stare more, as it's getting more ridiculous. He says nothing is going to happen while Cole is over there.
Sheldon says, "Not necessarily. He may be a hypnotist. She could be performing sexual acts with him, and not even know it."
Leonard stares intently, like 'why would you say that?' sort of thing.
Sheldon adds, "He could be having the time of his life while she thinks she's a chicking pecking for corn."
Leonard looks at him in disbelief at what he just said. Sheldon starts slowly bobbing his head up and down, ever so slightly.
In the university basement hallway again, Raj and Howard are walking up to the door. Raj says, "Look at us, sneaking around at night... like a couple of cat burglars!"
"Ha, or ninjas."
"I want to be a cat burglar."
"Fine... I'll be a ninja, you be a cat burglar."
"No! We have to be the same thing..."
"Fine, we can be ninjas."
"BUT NEXT TIME WE'RE CAT BURGLARS."
Howard jiggles the handle. "It's locked. I'll have it open in no t-"
"Are you sure?"
He blinks. "Yes. I'm sure. Now go over there and stand wat-"
Raj quickly reaches for the knob and jiggles it.
"Yeahhhh... it's locked."
Howard kneels down, pulls out his wallet and pulls out something to pick the lock with. "How'd you learn how to pick locks?"
"When I was younger. When I learned magic. Before I wanted to be an escape artist. It worked. I escaped from all my friends, popularity, and any party within a 12 mile radius."
The door opens. Howard wants to walk in but Raj stops him. "Sheldon is a smart man. What if it's booby-trapped?"
Howard says, "Ah, I'm already a step ahead of him."
"Really? What's your plan-"
Howard SHOVES him in the door and waits to hear what happens. Silence.
"Good in there?!"
Long silence. Little voice... "Yeah..."
They go inside the room. It's a small room, probably 6'x8'. There's nothing but a tiny table, brick walls, and a chalkboard. All it says is "43" on it. "Huh, look at that. I wonder what that means."
"43? That's what he's doing down here?"
Raj says, "Well, 43 is a prime number. Prime numbers are usually used for encryptions."
"Yes, but what does Sheldon need to encrypt?"
"Well, he's always been a little cagey at what the ingredients are that he puts in his egg salad that makes it so tasty..."
Howard looks at the floor, like Raj is being an idiot and says, "It's... paprika."
"Well, that's one mystery solved."
Leonard and Sheldon's apartment again. Leonard hears Cole leave Penny's place and tells Sheldon, "I'll be right back!"
Sheldon replies, "Oh, I thought you left a long time ago."
Leonard runs out and follows Cole down the stairs. Cole is skeptical. "Hi."
Leonard says, "'Sup."
Leonard asks if he's moving in on the 5th floor. He says, "No, I'm just visiting a friend."
"Oh, cute blonde on 4?"
"Yeah, do you know her?"
"I see her around... I try to stay away though because I know her boyfriend is REALLY scary. He's all ganged up."
They get down to the lobby.
"Oh, weird, 'cause she told me he was a scientist..."
"Oh, yeah, that's what the gang is called. The scientists. They are CRAZY."
"Oh, well, thanks for the tip."
"No problem, brotha, stay frosty!"
He looks proud of himself. He turns around to walk up the stairs and Penny is standing at the top of the first flight of stairs looking REALLY pissed.
"We're still dating, right?" She says nothing and walks back up the stairs.
Leonard (the next day I assume) is sitting in the cafeteria having a cup of coffee by himself. Alex sees him from across the room.
"Oh, hey Alex. Um, call me Leonard. Dr. Hofstadter is my father. ...and my mother. ...and my sister. ...and, our cat."
"Although I think Dr. Boot Hofstadter's degree was honorary."
She smiles and sits down with him.
Leonard asks if he can ask her a question. He says, "My girlfriend has a partner at school who has an English accent-
"Ooooooo I love English accents."
"Pfft. Yeah, you all do. And I think he's hitting on her but she insists he's just being nice but I don't think it's the case."
She says, "I'm sure it's harmless. I mean, girls probably hit on you all the time."
"Oh, yeah, I'm sure girls go 'oh, look, that guy has two Star Trek uniforms and gets constant ear infections, I gotta get me some of that!'"
She laughs a little. "Oh come on, you're cute, funny, smart. I bet girls hit on you all the time and you don't even know it..."
"Yeh, pretty sure." She stares blankly.
Leonard stares quietly for a second then just starts BUSTING up laughing. He gets up and starts to walk away. "Haha, I'm gonna get back to work, thank you for listening!" he walks a little farther. "Hopefully no one rips my shirt off on the way!" and he keeps walking away, continues laughing.
Raj and Howard are in Raj's office trying to figure out what '43' means. They have stuff written all over the boards and they are just killing themselves trying to figure it out.
"Oh, how about... 43 calories is what's in half a cup of fat free yogurt."
Howard asks how he knows that. "Hey, we all can't eat whatever we want and stay thin! What if he's building a bomb?"
"Oh, please, that man took two years to finish his LEGO Death Star, I'm not worried."
They both sigh, and Howard asks if Raj wants to get something to eat. He says it sounds nice and they walk out of the office. Halfway down the hallway, they both turn around and yell, "WHAT THE BALLS IS 43? I HAVE TO KNOW!"
ONE WEEK LATER-
Penny is leaving her apartment wearing her Cheesecake Factory uniform. Leonard is walking up the stairs. He sees her.
She says, "Shouldn't you be out with your gang spray-painting equations on the side of buildings?"
Penny starts raising her voice a little. "I can't believe you don't trust me!" "Of course I do!"
"You do know that Cole knew exaclty who you were when you were talking to him, right?!"
"I have a picture of you on my FRIDGE."
"And he still led me on like that? I'm reallllly starting to not like this guy!"
"Leonard, I don't understand why you do thi-"
"LISTEN. It's hard, okay? Everywhere you go, guys hit on you constantly. And sometimes... I'm standing right there. And they're all taller than me, WHY IS EVERYONE TALLER THAN ME?!"
Penny says, "Listen, you know I love you, and you keep doing things like this and it needs to stop because it's driving me crazy."
She realizes what she said.
He says, "That's the first time you've ever said that to me..."
"Am... am I supposed to act like it's not a big deal?"
"Yeah, I just... um." and she's getting overwhelmed and she's about to cry.
She says, "Oh, gosh. I should go, we shouldn't talk about this because I'm going to start crying and we both know that if I start crying, you're going to start crying!"
He looks down, then up, he croaks, "Right!" and they part ways. She goes downstairs. He goes inside. He shuts the door, looks up, and is crying. "She loves me!"
He gets a text. It's from Alex. He reads it aloud. "Hey, Leonard, it was nice having coffee with you today and if you ever want to talk again I'm always available, smiley face, smiley face."
He tilts his head, "What a friendly girl!"
Raj and Howard are sitting in the cafeteria with a laptop. Howard mentions he set up a nice camera in the room. "How did you get such a nice camera?" "It's a spare for the Mars Rover."
"How'd you get it?"
"Million dollar camera, ten dollar lock."
They're watching the video. In the video, Sheldon walks into the room and opens a tiny box on the floor. He says something like, "Initiating wormhole simulation." A black-hole looking simulation forms in the center of the room and the guys are just in totale awe at the video.
You hear Sheldon's voice. "The other 43 failed attempts of making contact with alien life through a wormhole leads me to believe that attempt 44 will be no different" and he sticks his head and hands in the wormhole (lots of CGI work here). The guys are freaking out.
Sheldon pulls his head/hands out of the wormhole and there's a huge alien-like looking hand on his face.
The guys are screaming because they're so scared. Sheldon is standing behind them in the cafeteria, but they don't know it yet. He throws the fake alien claw hand thing onto the laptop and they nearly piss themselves.
"What? HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?!"
"Oh, I noticed you installed a nice camera and I fed different video footage to it. You don't get to know what I do."
Howard insists, "What do you do down there?"
Sheldon gets serious. "I don't know if you noticed, but there are a lot of things that make it hard for me to deal with every day life. For example, sarcasm, basic human interaction, and... not talking about trains as much as I'd like to. I use 20 minutes every day to deal with that so I can turn my mind off and let it do what it needs to do to recharge."
"What exactly do you do, though?" Howard prods.
"I'm not going to tell you, and you don't deserve to know. You will NEVER know." and he storms off.
We see Sheldon walking to the basement storage room. He opens the door, sets down his back, and opens it. He pulls out a hacky sack and starts stretching a tiny bit. Leans back and forth a little, and drops the hacky sack on his knee. He hits it up and counts. "One. Two. Three... four! Five. Six. Seven. Eight..." and it drops onto the ground. He stares at it. "Oh, DRAT!"
He looks at the board. "There's no way I'll ever get to 43 again..."