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Tensor

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Tensor last won the day on November 20

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About Tensor

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    Ratings Guru
  • Birthday 11/14/1955

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  • Gender
    Male
  • Interests
    Live Theatre, General Relativity, Astrophysics.
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    Sarasota FL

Big Bang Theory Opinions

  • Favorite Cast Members
    Johnny Galecki
    Kaley Cuoco
  • Favorite Characters
    Leonard
    Penny
    Bernadette
  • Favorite Seasons
    Season 7
  • Favorite Episode
    The Friendship Turbulence

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  1. I love her reply, on her IG stories: "Same"
  2. Johnny's post for Kaley's birthday: https://www.instagram.com/p/CIPU233gq6U/
  3. Johnny's post for Kaley's birthday: https://www.instagram.com/p/CIPU233gq6U/ Kaley's reply: THIS IS EVERYTHING😭😭😭😭 I LOVE U MOOKS! Even at my old age of 82! 🤣
  4. All right, it’s been fixed, you can see the season 12 Transcripts now.
  5. I left a message for Tripper, I believe it's got something to do with how the Transcript Forum is set up. Once it's fixed, I'll leave a note in here.
  6. OK, as I mentioned, here is the transcript for the first episode of season 12, 1201 The Conjugal Configuration. I'll start working on the second episode next Wednesday.
  7. The Conjugal Configuration Season 12 Episode 01 Teleplay by Story by Steve Holland Chuck Lorre & & Maria Ferrari Eric Kaplan & & Jeremy Howe Tara Hernandez COLD OPEN SCENE A ATOM CUT JIM PARSONS: Previously on The Big Bang Theory. CUT TO APARTMENT 4A (Amy, Mr Fowler, Mrs Fowler) MRS FOWLER WITH HER ARM AROUND AMY’S NECK, FACING MR FOWLER MRS FOWLER: Can you believed our little lamb is finally getting married…… MR FOWLER TAKES STEP TOWARDS THE TWO, MRS FOWLER LETS GO OF AMY, FACES HER, WITH BACK TO MR FOWLER. MRS FOWLER:…… he can’t believe it. And neither can I. MRS FOWLER, AMY HUG. AMY: Hi dad, how are you doing? MR FOWLER, ACTS LIKE HE’S HANGING FROM THE END OF A ROPE, HE IS HOLDING. HE STOPS, BEFORE MR FOWLER TURNS AROUND. ZOOM CUT TO CALTECH ATHENAEUM (Mark Hamill, Amy, Sheldon) MARK HAMILL OFFICIATING AT AMY AND SHELDON’S WEDDING. MARK HAMILL (almost crying): By the power vested in me by Even You Can Perform Weddings dot Com, I now pronounce you, husband and wife. You may kiss the bride. AMY AND SHELDON KISS. END OF FLASHBACK ATOM CUT WITH AN “AND NOW…” TO SCENE B HOTEL ROOM (Sheldon and Amy) AMY SLEEPING, SHELDON GENTLY SHAKING HER TO WAKE HER. SHELDON: Good morning wife. AMY(smiles, laughs): Good morning husband. AMY TURNS IN BED TO FACE SHELDON. AMY: I can believe we’re actually married. SHELDON: It’s official. According to tradition, we should hang the bedsheets outside, so the villagers can see we consummated. SHELDON GETS OUT OF BED, WALKS TO THE WINDOW. AMY: I don’t think that’s appropriate, considering where we’re starting our honeymoon. SHELDON: Well, I suppose you’re right…… SHELDON OPENS THE CURTAINS, LEGOLAND IS OUTSIDE THEIR WINDOW. SHELDON:…… although, when you think about it, Lego is the perfect metaphor, for marital congress. Two pieces that interlock, with a satisfying snap. AMY: Oh, that’s the sound you were making. SHELDON WALKS TO THE BED SHELDON: Oh, I almost forgot, while you were sleeping, I ordered room service. SHELDON PICKS UP A COVERED SERVING TRAY, AND BRINGS IT TO AMY. AMY: Really? SHELDON: Violá SHELDON TAKES COVER OFF OF DISH, DISPLAYS EGG, BACON, AND PANCAKES, ALL MADE OF LEGOS. SHELDON (giggling): You thought it was going to be food, didn’t you. CUT TO OPENING TITLES ACT 1 ATOM CUT TO SCENE C APARTMENT STAIRWAY (Leonard, Penny, Raj, Howard, Bernadette) ALL ARE WALKING UP THE STAIRS, HOWARD CARRYING THE BOX OF FOOD. RAJ: Mother, Is it nice having Sheldon and Amy away, on their honeymoon? PENNY: Yeah, because now Leonard and I get all this alone time. RAJ: But you’re not alone, we’re here. PENNY (frustrated): Yes, yes you are. BERNADETTE: Would you like us to leave, so you and Leonard can talk about all the things you have in common? LEONARD: Ha ha, she called your bluff. RAJ: Something pretty cool happened, channel three asked me to be on the news tomorrow night, to talk about the meteor shower. LEONARD: Well, that’s great. PENNY: Heyyyyyyy. BERNADETTE: Congratulations. HOWARD: You know, that’s how Neil deGrasse Tyson got his start. He went from the Hayden Planetarium, to guesting on the local news, to ruining everyone’s favorite movies on the internet. RAJ: Now it’s happening to me. Oooooo, I should probably make a list of all the scientific inaccuracies in Momma Mia Two. PENNY: You’re going to go on live TV, and admit you’ve seen that movie? RAJ: Hey, your husbands the one who took me. PENNY GIVE LEONARD A WTF STARE. LEOANRD: Meryl Streep and Cher? Yeah, I saw it. LEONARD PUTS THE KEY INTO THE DOOR OF 4A, TO UNLOCK IT, A NOISE COMES FROM 4B. ALL TURN TO LOOK. LEONARD REMOVES KEY. THERE IS ANOTHER NOISE. RAJ: Sounds like someone’s in there. BERNADETTE: God, what if Sheldon and Amy are getting robbed? HOWARD: Or worse, what if they’re back early? LEONARD: They’re not, they just posted a picture in front of the Statue of Liberty. PENNY: Real or Lego? LEONARD: Lego. BERNADETTE: So, what should we do? Should someone go check it out. RAJ: I would, but I got to be on TV tomorrow. Got to protect the money. RAJ INDICATES HIS FACE, PENNY RUNS OVER TO APARTMENT 4B’S DOOR. PUTS HER EAR ON THE DOOR. PENNY: Oh, yeah, someone is definitely in there. LEONARD: Okay, let’s go into our apartment…… LEONARD REINSERTS KEY AND STARTS TURNING THE KEY IN THE LOCK LEONARD:……We’ll lock the door, we’ll call the police…… PENNY STARTS BANGING ON THE DOOR PENNY(starts yelling): Hello, anyone in there? DOOR OPENS, MR FOWLER APPEARS. MR FOWLER: Yes? PENNY: Oh, Mr Fowler, sorry, we didn’t know you were here. We actually thought someone was breaking in. RAJ: And we were ready to take them down. MR FOWLER: Amy asked me to water her plants. PENNY: She doesn’t have any plants. MR FOWLER: Oh, well, you’ve caught me in a lie. MR FOWLER TURNS, CLOSES DOOR. MR FOWLER: Have a good day. MR FOWLER WALKS DOWN STAIRS. HOWARD: That was weird, right? LEONARD: Was it? I…I…I honestly can’t tell anymore. LEONARD OPENS DOOR, THEY ALL START TO ENTER. MR FOWLER: Hey, did you even see Mamma Mia One? MR FOWLER: Didn’t need to, the sequel stands on it’s own. AFTER ALL HAVE ENTERED, RAJ CLOSES APARTMENT 4A’S DOOR, MR FOWLER COMES BACK UP THE STAIRS, TO APARTMENT 4B, AND ENTERS IT, SCENE D ATOM CUT TO NY HOTEL ROOM (Bellboy, Amy, Sheldon) BELLBOY ENTERS CARRYING LUGGAGE, PUT IT ON THE FOOTSTOOL, AT THE END OF THE BED. AMY AND SHELDON ENTER. BELLBOY: Here ya go. If you need any recommendations while visiting New York, please don’t hesitate…… BELLBOY OPENS SHEER DRAPES OVER WINDOW. BELLBOY: ……to contact me. AMY: Well, it is our honeymoon. SHELDON: So we are going to be quite busy. BELLBOY: Got it. BELLBOY GOES OUT TO HALLWAY, TO GET MORE LUGGAGE. BRINGS IT IN AMY: Harry Potter play, parts one and two. SHELDON: And, tomorrow, a tour of the sites where Nicola Tesla lived, worked, and slowly went crazy. BELLBOY GIVE SHELDON A WEIRD LOOK. SHELDON WALKS TO BELLBOY, SHELDON GIVES BELLBOY TIP SHELDON: And, of course, coitus. AMY EMBARRASSED, BELLBOY LOOKS SHOCKED. BELLBOY: Well, enjoy, New York. And, I guess, coitus. BELLBOY LEAVES, SHELDON CLOSES DOOR. AMY: Really, Sheldon? You want to do it again? (Amy smiles) SHELDON: Don’t act surprised, it’s clearly marked on the schedule. SHELDON HOLDS UP PHONE, SHOWING SCHEDULE. SHELDON: Now, shall we, steam the wrinkles out of our wizard robes, or make vigorous, socially sanctioned love. Either way, I can check something off my to do list. AMY(sounding puzzled): Socially sanction……(understanding) oh, wow, yeah, there it is right there. SCENE E ATOM CUT TO APARTMENT 4A (Leonard, Penny) LEONARD ON COUCH, PENNY PUTTING PLATE IN THE FRIDGE, THEN WALKS TOWARD COUCH. LEONARD: Uh, hurry, Raj is on next. PENNY: I can’t believe they cancelled Vampire Diaries, but they’ll show this. PENNY POINTS AT TV, THEN SITS ON COUCH, IN SHELDON’S SPOT. LEONARD (deadpan): This is the news. PENNY: And that was a woman torn between two hunky vampires. What is your point? SOUND OF POUNDING ON A DOOR. UNKNOWN VOICE: Larry, I know you’re in there. PENNY: Is that Amy’s mom? MORE POUNDING. UNKNOWN VOICE: Let me in. UNKNOWN VOICE (yells and pounds): Let. UNKNOWN VOICE (yells and pounds): Me. UNKNOWN VOICE (yells and pounds): In. LEONARD: Either that or the big bad wolf. MORE POUNDING. LEONARD AND PENNY TO THE DOOR, OPEN IT. MRS FOWLER POUNDING ON APARTMENT 4B’S DOOR. MRS FOWLER: Larry. PENNY: Mrs Fowler? Are you okay? MRS FOWLER: Oh, I’m okay. It’s my husband you should worry about. PENNY: Oh, we do. MRS FOWLER: Larry, come on. LEONARD: I don’t think he’s in there. MRS FOWLER TURNS HER HEAD TO LOOK AT LEONARD. GIVES HIM A “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU” LOOK. LEONARD: I mean he came by to water the imaginary plants, but then he left. MRS FOWLER: You are so naive. Blondie here is going to chew you up and spit you out. PENNY: Well, don’t tell him. LEONARD GIVES PENNY A STRNGE LOOK. MRS FOWLER WAVES HER HAND MRS FOWLER: Come on, you have an extra key, open it up. LEONARD REACHES IN, GETS KEY, GOES TO 4B TO OPEN IT LEONARD: All right, but I’m telling you he’s not in there. LEONARD OPENS 4B, ALL THREE ENTER, LEONARD TURNS LIGHT ON. LEONARD: There, see? MRS FOWLER: Ohhhhh, he’s in here, I can smell his axe body spray. MRS FOLWER LOOKING AROUND IN THE LIVING ROOM LEONARD: He wears axe body spray. PENNY: You happy? You smell like Amy’s dad. MRS FOLWER MOVES INTO THE BEDROOM MRS FOWLER: Larry! PENNY(whispers): Come on. PENNY STARTS INTO BEDROOM. STOPS WHEN LEONARD SPEAKS. LEONARD: Shouldn’t we mind our own business? PENNY: Wow, sometimes, it’s like you don’t know me at all. PENNY HEADS INTO BEDROOM, LEONARD FOLLOWS. MRS FOWLER LOOKING IN THE CLOSET PENNY: See, he not here. MRS FOWLER: You don’t know him like I do. MRS FOLWER MOVES INTO THE BATHROOM LEONARD: To be fair, we don’t know either of you. PENNY AND LEONARD MOVE INTO THE BATHROOM. MRS FOWLER PULLS ONE SIDE OF THE SHOWER CURTAIN, TO THE OTHER SIDE. NOTHING. LEONARD: Satisfied? MRS FOWLER PULLS OTHER SIDE OF THE SHOWER CURTAIN, MR FOWLER IS THERE. PENNY: Oh, yeah, now I smell him. SCENE F ATOM CUT TO WOLOWITZ LIVING ROOM (Howard, Bernadette) HOWARD AND BERNADETTE SITTING ON COUCH, WATCHING TV, EATING POPCORN. VOICE OF WEATHER GIRL, ON TV, CAN BE HEARD. BERNADETTE: Hey, that is one hot weather girl. HOWARD: How come, if I say that, I get in trouble? BERNADETTE: You want to say it, you can say it. HOWARD LOOKS CONFUSED AND WORRIED HOWARD: Nice try. You’re going to have to find some other way, to not have sex with me tonight. And, it’s not weather girl, it’s weather woman. CUT TO TV SCREEN IS VISIBLE, WITH WEATHER WOMAN AND RAJ. WOMAN: And with us today, to talk about the upcoming meteor shower, and the best places to view it, Caltech astrophysicist, Dr Rajesh, Koothrapolli. Thank you for being here. RAJ: Thank you for having me. I guess Neil deGrasse Tyson was (laughs)unavailable. (laughs) WOMAN: (laughs loudly) Yeah. RAJ’S SMILE DISAPPEARS, TURNS TO THE WOMAN RAJ: What do you mean, yeah? WOMAN WAVES RAJ’S CONCERNS AWAY WOMAN: Not important. What can we expect to see from this meteor shower? RAJ: Well, I think we can count on a lot of flaming gas, which is what you would have gotten from your first choice, Neil deGrasse Tyson. RESET CUT TO WOLOWITZ LIVING ROOM HOWARD: Pull up, Raj. Pull up. RESET CUT TO TV SCREEN WOMAN: Sounds like there is no love lost between you and Dr Tyson. RAJ: Oh, no, I love Neil. I mean, not as much as Neil loves Neil, but who does, right? RESET CUT TO WOLOWITZ LIVING ROOM BERNADETTE: I want to look away, but I can’t. RESET CUT TO TV SCREEN WOMAN: Oh, you know, I’m told we are out of time. Having learned nothing about meteor showers, and too much about Dr Koothrapolli. RAJ: Thank you. RESET CUT TO WOLOWITZ LIVING ROOM HOWARD AND BERNADETTE STARE AT TV WITH BLANK, SHOCKED STARES. SCENE G ATOM CUT TO NY HOTEL ROOM (Sheldon, Amy) SHELDON AND AMY, WEARING WIZARD’S ROBES, ENTER THE ROOM. SHELDON: You know what I love about Broadway Theatre? It’s so interactive. SHELDON CLOSES DOOR AMY (annoyed): Uh, huh. SHELDON: You’re so close to the actors, it’s like you’re in the play. AMY(annoyed): Uh huh. AMY PUT PURSE ON THE DESK, AND THEN HER AND SHELDON TAKE OFF THEIR ROBES. SHELDON: You yell Harry, watch out, he looks right at you. And, not just Harry, everyone on stage. AMY(annoyed): At the risk of sounding redundant, uh huh. SHELDON: All, right, it’s a bit late, but I did block out the rest of the evening for conjugal relations. Should we shower? I mean before, not during, that’s how you fall and break a hip. AMY: You know, I’m a little jet laggy, maybe we can revisit this in the morning. SHELDON: Oh, no can do, if we miss tonight, it’s not scheduled until Thursday at six. And that’ll have to be no frills, because we got 6:30 reservation at Benihanna. AMY: Sheldon, do we really have to do this on a schedule? SHELDON: Are you suggesting spontaneity? AMY: I… I guess, yeah. SHELDON: So, now that we’re married, sex can occur at any time? Like, we could be brushing out teeth and suddenly your minty fresh tongue is in my mouth? No thank you. AMY: Really? Would it be so bad to mix it up a little? SHELDON: Mix it up? Who are you Betty Crocker? SHELDON STARTS WALKING PASSED AMY AMY: Where are you going? SHELDON: To take a shower. Now that sex can happen at any time, I’ll always have to be ready. Should probably live under a waterfall. AMY (irritated) : Well, you don’t have to worry about sex happening tonight. SHELDON: Oh, well, thanks. But, I’m still gonna rinse off. I touched a lot of stuff in the gift shop. SCENE H ATOM CUT TO APARTMENT 4B (Penny, Leonard, Mr and Mrs Fowler) PENNY, LEONARD AND MR FOWLER ARE SEATED, ON THE COUCH, MRS FOWLER IS PACING. MRS FOWLER: No message, no note, who would do that. What kind of husband…… LEONARD: If you let him talk, maybe you’ll find out. MRS FOWLER STOPS PACING, LOOKS AT MR FOWLER, CROSSES HER ARMS. MRS FOWLER: Fine, Larry? MR FOWLER SHRUGS PENNY: There you go, what more can he say? MRS FOWLER: Lets go home. MR FOWLER: I think I’ll stay. MRS FOWLER: Well, if you’re going to stay, then I’ll stay. MRS FOWLER SITS IN CHAIR. LEONARD: All right, well, you know who doesn’t need to stay? Us, come on. LEONARD WALKS OUT OF THE APARTMENT _(BEAT) LEONARD WALKS BACK IN. LEONARD: Penny. LEONARD WALKS OUT. PENNY (disappointed): Ohhhhhhh. PENNY WALKS OUT. CLOSES DOOR MRS FOWLER: I don’t think those two are going to make it. FADEOUT END ACT 1 ACT 2 ATOM CUT TO SCENE J APARTMENT 4A (Penny and Leonard) PENNY AND LEONARD ENTER. LEONARD: Poor Mr Fowler, I really feel sorry for the little guy. PENNY: I know, after they had Amy, she should have just eaten him and been done with it. LEONARD CLOSES DOOR LEONARD: Look at you, retaining facts from a nature show. PENNY OPENS FRIDGE, GETS BOTTLE OF WATER, STANDS BY ISLNAD. LEONARD WALKS UP TO HER. PENNY: I know, really what did he ever see in her? He’s so, so sweet, and she’s such a ball-buster. LEONARD: Some guys think strong women are sexy. PENNY: They seem to have nothing in common. LEONARD: Sometimes opposites attract. PENNY OPENS BOTTLE, LEONARD RUBS PENNY’S ARM. PENNY: Wai……wai……are you saying we, are like them? LEONARD: I don’t know, maybe a little. PENNY: So, you’re the sweet quiet one, and I’m Amy’s mom? Is that what you’re saying? LEONARD SHRUGS (AS MR FOWLER DID) PENNY LOOKS SHOCKED AND ANGRY. WALKS AWAY, TOWARDS THE HALLWAY. ATOM CUT TO SCENE K WOLOWITZ LIVING ROOM (Howard, Bernadette, Raj) HOWARD PASSING OUT FOOD, BERNADETTE BRINGING IN DRINKS, RAJ LOOKING AT HIS PHONE. RAJ: Hey, check out what Neil deGrasse Tyson just tweeted. “I’ve been informed, that some random, attention seeking nobody, took a cheap shot at me, on the local news(smiles, and excited). That’s me, guys, he’s talking about me. HOWARD BERNADETTE SIT ON COUCH, START EATING HOWARD: Yeah, I cut you a lot of slack, cause you come from another country, but, I mean, you’ve been here a long time. BERNADETTE: Raj, you need to apologize to Dr Tyson. RAJ: Whyyyyyy? This could be good for me. Everybody loves a good twitter feud. Neil and I could be like the new Katie Perry and Taylor Swift. BERNADETTE: Come on Raj, you’re better than this. RAJ: Leave room for desert, cause I’m going to make you eat those words. RAJ START TYPING ON HIS PHONE. RAJ: Dear Dr Tyson, much like epithelial tissue, it appears that I’ve gotten, under your skin. iPhone drop. But, I won’t, because I don’t have AppleCare. [SFX] TEXT TONE FROM RAJ’S PHONE.. BERNADETTE: What’d he say? RAJ(reads message): Nice try genius, the skin is epithelial tissue RAJ: Ohhhhhhh, it’s on, he’s Katie, I’m T-Swift. RAJ START TYPING ON HIS PHONE. HOWARD AND BERNADETTE EXCHANGE “WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM” STARES. HOWARD (resignedly): What are you going to do, he’s from another country. SCENE L ATOM CUT TO EXTERIOR: NY STREET. (Group of people, including Tour Guide, Sheldon and Amy) TOUR GUIDE: And, here we have the former hotel, where Tesla perfected the three phase, alternating current motor. TOUR GUIDE CONTINUES SPEAKING UNDER THE SHELDON AND AMY DIALOGUE. SHELDON: That’s wrong, I’m going to say something. AMY: Don’t. SHELDON: Well then, how will everyone know I’m the smartest boy here? AMY (irritated): Just let it go. SHELDON: Is everything all right? You seem testy this morning. AMY (testily): I’m not testy. SHELDON: I’ll have to take your word for it, there’s no test for testy. (beat) Is it possible that you’re sexually frustrated? AMY (testily): Okay, now I’m testy. SHELDON: If you would’ve adhered to my coital schedule, you’re brain would be floating on a sea of oxytocin right now. AMY (angrily): Don’t talk to me about my brain, I’m a neurobiologist. TOUR GUIDE STOPS SPEAKING. SHELDON: Then you should know the benefits of the special hug grownups give each other. REST OF THE GROUP HAS TURNED AND IS LOOKING AT AMY AND SHELDON AMY NOTICES THEM LOOKING AT HER AMY (whispers): Sheldon, everybody’s listening. Unlike that guy. SHELDON POINTS AT TOUR GUIDE. AMY:I’m walking away from you. AMY TURNS AND WALKS AWAY. SHELDON WATCHES HER GO, THEN TURNS AND LOOKS AT THE GROUP. SHELDON: Yeah, I’m only recently married. Do I stay here, do I follow, say something useful. SCENE M ATOM CUT TO APARTMENT 4A KITCHEN AND ISLAND (Leonard, Penny.) PENNY MAKING COFFEE, LEONARD ENTERS FROM HALLWAY. LEONARD: Morning sunshine. PENNY TURNS AND LOOKS AT LEONARD WITH A DEATH STARE. LEONARD: So, I see you’re making espresso. PENNY KEEPS ON SETTING UP MACHINE FOR ESPRESSO PENNY (angry): Yep, just need that extra jolt, for a successful day of ball-busting. LEONARD: Really? I don’t…I don’t think you do. PENNY: You know, you compared us to the strangest couple we know. And we know Amy and Sheldon, Howard and Bernadette, Raj and his twitchy little dog. LEONARD: I…I…I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. PENNY: Because it wasn’t nice, or because it wasn’t true. LEONARD: It’s not true, eh…eh…eh…Mrs Fowler, is an angry, vindictive woman, whereas you are warm, an…and loving, quick to forgive. PENNY (disgusted): Oh, please. PENNY WALKS OVER TO FRIDGE. LEONARD: I…I… I’m serious, and I’m nothing like Amy’s dad. He’s a mousey, little man who can’t stand up for himself. PENNY GIVE LEONARD A “WANNA BET” LOOK. LEONARD: My point is, you’re not like her, so we’re not like them. PENNY (a little sad): Well, thirty years from now are you going to hide from me because I’m so scary? LEONARD: Penny, I don’t think you’re scary. Yes, I flinch when you make sudden moves, but that says more about my childhood, than you. PENNY (touched): Awwwwwww. PENNY STEPS TOWARD LEONARD RAISES HER ARMS TO GIVE HIM A HUG. LEONARD FLINCHES AND TAKES A STEP BACK. HE RAISES HIS ARMS AND INDICATES PENNY SHOULD HUG HIM. THEY HUG. SCENE N ATOM CUT TO WOLOWITZ LIVING ROOM (Howard, Bernadette, Raj) THE THREE ARE PLAYING SETTLERS OF CATAAN, HOWARD GIVES RAJ THE DICE. HOWARD: Your turn. RAJ: Hang on. I’m checking to see if Neil replied to my latest smackdown. BERNADETTE: Really? Don’t you think this twitter feud is a little silly. RAJ: Absolutely not. It’s…it’s…two respected scientists debating opposing views in a public forum. HOWARD: You called him Mike Tyson’s little sister. RAJ: Yeah, and now Mike Tyson’s mad at me too. BERNADETTE: Raj, you’re not going to impress anyone, by attacking him. RAJ (frustrated): Oh, Bernadette, you sound so old right now. HOWARD AND BERNADETTE EXCHANGE DISGUSTED GLANCES. SCENE P ATOM CUT TO APARTMENT 4A (Penny and Mrs Fowler) MRS FOWLER SITTING ON THE COUCH, PENNY WALKS OVER AND SITS IN LEONARD’S CHAIR. SETS COFFEE CUP IN FRONT OF MRS FOWLER. MRS FOWLER: He said he needs a break, and I’m too much for him. PENNY: Oh, I’m sure he didn’t mean that. MRS FOWLER(yelling): He said I’m overbearing. PENNY: Oh, please, you’re just the right amount of bearing. MRS FOWLER GIVES PENNY AN ANGRY STARE. PENNY (short laugh): Look, I know he loves you, if you just give him some space, I’m sure he’ll come back. MRS FOWLER: You really think so? PENNY: Yeah, I do. MRS FOWLER SMILES AND SLIDES OVER ON THE COUCH, TO BE CLOSER TO PENNY. MRS FOWLER: You’re a good person, Penny. I hope we get to spend lots of time together. PENNY SMILES A LARGE FAKE SMILE PENNY: Me too. SCENE Q ZOOM CUT TO APARTMENT 4B DOOR (Penny) PENNY KNOCKING ON THE DOOR MR FOWLER OPENS DOOR MR FOWLER: Yes. PENNY (tightly): Hit the road. MR FOWLER(puzzled): But…… PENNY (yelling): NOW MR FOWLER(puzzled): Can I get my stuff? PENNY (through gritted teeth): Be quick about it. MR FOWLER TURNS TO GET HIS THINGS. SCENE R ATOM CUT TO NY STREET. (Amy) AMY SITTING ON A BENCH. SHELDON WALKS UP, CARRYING TWO HOT DOGS, SITS NEXT TO AMY. SHELDON: Hello AMY: Hello SHELDON: I brought you two hot dogs. AMY: Aren’t you going to eat one? SHELDON: From a street cart? Are you crazy? I’m amazed that I’m holding them AMY: I’m not really hungry SHELDON: You realize, that I’m not a particularly physical perso AMY (nods): I know. SHELDON: When I was little, and people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I’d always say, a brain, in a jar. AMY: Sure. SHELDON: But, I want to be a good husband to you. And, intimacy, is a part of that. SHELDON IS MOVING THE HOT DOGS BACK AND FORTH, IN FRONT OF AMY’S FACE. AMY: Please put those down. SHELDON PUTS HOT DOGS ON THE BENCH. SHELDON: I’m just worried, that if I don’t schedule our bedroom endeavors, then I may not think about them. And, you’ll grow cold and distant, and seek solace in the arms of a heavily muscled longshoreman. AMY: Where would I find a longshoreman? SHELDON: Along the shore, it’s in the name. AMY (resigned) : Sheldon, I could never be with anybody but you. SHELDON: That’s good to know. I wouldn’t want to fight a man, who’s brave enough to touch a fish. AMY: How’s this for a compromise? Make all the schedules you want, just don’t tell me about them. SHELDON: Excellent. I’ll create an algorithm, that will create a pseudorandom schedule. Eh, do you know why it won’t be a true random schedule. AMY: Because the generation of true random numbers remains an unsolved problem in computer science. SHELDON: Come with me. AMY: Where are we going? SHELDON: To the hotel room. And when we get there, I’m going to need you to say that again, except naked. AMY GASPS. THEY WALK OFF. (2 BEATS), SHELDON RUNS BACK ON, PICKS UP HOT DOGS AND THROWS THEM IN THE TRASH CAN. THEN RUNS BACK OFF. FADEOUT END ACT 2 TAG/SCENE S ATOM CUT TO RAJ’S CAR (Raj) [SFX] PHONE RINGING, RAJ ANSWERS IT THROUGH THE CAR SYSTEM. RAJ: Go for doctor K. UNKNOWN VOICE ON PHONE; Is this Rajesh Koothrapolli RAJ: Yes, who is this? CUT TO NEIL deGRASSE TYSON’S OFFICE. (Neil) NEIL: Neil deGrasse Tyson. RESET TO RAJ’S CAR. RAJ, HAS “OH, OH” LOOK ON HIS FACE. RAJ: Uh, bub, wow, (nervous laugh) How fun is this twitter thing, huh? RESET TO NEIL deGRASSE TYSON’S OFFICE NEIL (irritated) You think your funny? RESET TO RAJ’S CAR. RAJ: I……I’m……I…I’m not Seinfeld funny. But, I did an open mic night once…… RESET TO NEIL deGRASSE TYSON’S OFFICE NEIL: You’re not funny. RESET TO RAJ’S CAR. RAJ: Yeah, that’s what they said at The Chuckle Hut. NEIL (over phone): How about this…… RESET TO NEIL deGRASSE TYSON’S OFFICE NEIL: …… I’ve got a book signing, at Vroman’s*, in Pasadena next week, why don’t you by and say some of those things to my face. RESET TO RAJ’S CAR. RAJ (nervous laugh): Ohhhhhhh, no, but thanks for the invite. RESET TO NEIL deGRASSE TYSON’S OFFICE NEIL: Smart move, and the next time you pick up your phone, remember, I’m the guy who kicked Pluto out of the solar system. RESET TO RAJ’S CAR. RAJ: And, it deserved it sir. Thank you, bye bye. RAJ DISCONNECTS. RESET TO NEIL deGRASSE TYSON’S OFFICE NEIL: Whoa, that was fun. NEIL DISCONNECTS LOOKING THROUGH HIS CONTACT LIST NEIL: Let’s see who else needs a deGrasse kicking. NEIL PUSHES ANOTHER NUMBER. CUT TO BILL NYE’S OFFICE. (Bill) BILL: Bill Nye, science guy. RESET TO NEIL deGRASSE TYSON’S OFFICE NEIL: Hey Bill, Neil Tyson. We’ve got to talk. CUT TO BILL NYE’S OFFICE BILL LOOKS SCARED, SLAMS PHONE DOWN TO DISCONNECT. END TAG CUT TO RUN END CREDITS END * Yes, Vroman’s is the correct spelling.
  8. Acts, scenes. Bolded, all caps. Center justified Eg: COLD OPEN or ACT 1, or SCENE A Cuts. All caps, underlined. Center justified Eg: CUT TO Atom cut is a cut using the animated atoms Eg: ATOM CUT Resests are cut lines that go back to a previous location in the scene Eg: RESET TO Cuts are action lines. Action Lines, All caps, underlined, center justified. Eg: AMY ANSWERS PHONE, LEONARD ENTERS, ETC Effects will also appear as action lines. Eg: [SFX] PHONE RINGS, [VFX] EYES TURN GREEN [SFX] Sound effects [VFX] Visual Effects [VO] Voice over, sound from another room such as on phone. Locations. All caps Center justified. All are interior, Eg: APARTMENT 4B unless specifically mentioned (eg in car, outside) Actors in scene. In parentheses, correct caps, center justified Eg: (Sheldon and Leonard) Usually below the location The rest should be dialogue. All dialogue is Left Justified, has the character name in all caps, a colon, then the dialogue. Occasionally, there will be instructions for the actor, between the character name and the colon Eg PENNY(sarcastically): Oh, yeah, I believe you. If you see something you don't understand, please contact me and I'll add it to this, if I can. The discussion for the season 12 transcripts can be found in the main season 12 forum, under the topic Transcript Discussion.
  9. This is the discussion thread for the season 12 transcripts. I had originally planned to finished season 11 first, then move on to season 12. I changed my mind. I will be doing the first five of season 12, and then alternating between season 11 and season 12, until I finish them. I will then move on to other seasons. I may not do them in chronological order, for instance, I'm interested in seasons four through six, so I may do those first. I'll see how it goes and how it strikes me. I'm working on 1201, right now, so within three or four days of this post (25 November, 2020), you should see the first transcript for season 12. If you have any questions or comments, by all means, leave them in this thread.
  10. The transcript for the fifth episode of Season 11, 1105 The Collaboration Contamination, is now up in the Season 11 Transcript Sub-forum.
  11. The Collaboration Contamination Season 11 Episode 05 Teleplay by Story by Dave Goetsch Steve Molaro & & Maria Ferrari Steve Holland & & Jeremy Howe Eric Kaplan COLD OPEN SCENE A ATOM CUT TO Apartment 4A (Leonard, Penny, Sheldon, Amy, Raj, Howard, Bernadette) ALL SITTING AROUND LIVING ROOM COFFEE TABLE, EATING, BERNADETTE WALKS IN FROM HALLWAY. BERNADETTE: Thanks for letting me put Halley in your room. LEONARD: Sure, no problem. BERNADETTE STOPS BY PENNY’S CHAIR. BERNADETTE: Er, and Penny she kinda threw up on your stuffed bear. BERNADETTE CONTINUES TO COUCH, SITS. PENNY: Oh, that’s okay. LEONARD: Hey, hey, that’s an Ewok, and it’s mine PENNY(smiling): Which is why it’s okay. SHELDON: See, he gets Ewoks in his bed. AMY: You got Chewbacca, that’s enough. RAJ: I used to have the stuffed raccoon, from Gardians of the Galaxy, but Cinnamon licked it raw. HOWARD: There’s a time and place for your randy dog stories, and it’s never and nowhere. PENNY: Yeah, no more stories about sex, so Amy, that brings us to you. AMY: Well, at work we’ve be doing some interesting research with neuroprosthetics. PENNY: Neat, I’ve been rewatching the OC, so we’re all leading productive lives. AMY: We’ve been working on a computer interface, that can use brainwave patterns to control robotic limbs. But, we’re have a little trouble localizing the signal from the EEG cap. HOWARD: Welp, have you thought about a phased array of sensors, for better localization? AMY: Actually, that never occurred to me. PENNY: It never occurred to me, I would miss the Ewok, conversation. LEONARD: Good, cause I just bought another one on Amazon. AMY: You know, I could use an engineer on this project. SHELDON: Well this works out great, Howard’s an engineer. I’m sure he knows someone who’s qualified. HOWARD: She’s talking about me, Sheldon. I’m perfectly qualified. BERNADETTE: Yeah, Howie’s the world’s best engineer, it says so right on his coffee mug. PENNY: Awwwwww, you got him a mug? RAJ: I did. But it’s not a competition. BERNADETTE: Yeah, I lost that battle years ago. AMY: So, Howard, are you interested? HOWARD: Are you kidding? If I could control robot arms, with my brain, I be able to do so many things. SHELDON: Really? Because you’ve been controlling human arms through your brain for years, and not much has come of it. CUT TO OPENING TITLES ACT 1 ATOM CUT TO SCENE B APARTMENT 4A (Leonard Penny) PENNY SITTING AT ISLAND DRINKING COFFEE AND READING. LEONARD ENTERS FROM HALLWAY STANDS NEAR PENNY. LEONARD: Hey, whatcha reading? PENNY: A parenting book LEONARD: Oh, my god, are……are we…… PENNY: What? Nooooooooo. You think this is how I would tell you? LEONARD: Well, yo……yo……your sitting there with a book, it felt like anything was possible. I don’t know… LEONARD GETS A CUP, WALKS TO ISLAND PENNY (miffed): Bernadette left it here. LEONARD: Well, anything interesting? LEONARD POURS COFFEE PENNY: Well, I just saw a picture of a baby’s head crowning, so I hope you enjoyed sex, because we’re done with that. SHELDON ENTERS THROUGH FRONT DOOR. LEONARD CONTINUES TO POUR COFFEE SHELDON: Hello LEONARD: Hey Sheldon, what’s up? PENNY: Hey. SHELDON WALKS TO ISLAND. SHELDON: Eh, remember how disappointed you were, when Amy started driving me to work? LEONARD: Sure, sometimes people smile a big smile of disappointment. SHELDON: Yeah, well good news, Amy had to go in early to show Howard around her lab. So, you get to drive me. LEONARD’S FACE CHANGES TO DISAPPOINTMENT. PENNY: Awwwww, his smile of disappointment has turned into a frown of joy. LEONARD: It’s fine, I’ve been driving him for years, what’s one more day. SHELDON: And, a new car game we can play, it’s called what siren am I? LEONARD: Kill me. ATOM CUT TO SCENE C AMY’S LAB (Amy, Howard) BOTH ARE GOING THROUGH THE LAB, LOOKING AT THE EQUIPMENT. HOWARD: Amy, your lab is amazing. A CR fluoroscope, a cranial ultrasound, ohhhhhh, and look at that coffee maker. AMY: I know, on our expense report, I listed it as “Edwardo”, my Columbian Lab assistant. BOTH WALK OVER TO THE SKULL CAP. HOWARD: So, this is it. HOWARD TAKES THE SKULL CAP OFF OF IT’S STAND. AMY: Yes. We are using it to map brain wave patterns, and then converting them to electrical impulses, that can be used to control anything, from wheelchairs to robots HOWARD: Based on that ring on your finger, I’d say you’re pretty good at controlling robots. AMY: Careful, that’s my fiancé you’re talking about. (beat) And I can program him to hurt you. ATOM CUT TO SCENE D LEONARD’S CAR (Leonard, Sheldon) LEONARD DRIVING, SHELDON MAKING A SIREN NOISE. LEONARD: I don’t know, a…a…a French police? SHELDON: Oh, so close, Belgian Ambulance. LEONARD MAKES FACE, SHAKES HEAD. SHELDON: All right, you ready for your next one? Just a warning, this one is a little annoying. SHELDON STARTS MAKING A SIREN SOUND LEONARD: eh…eh…eh… let’s take a little……little break, I’m getting a headache. SHELDON (disappointed): Ohhhhhh, right in the middle of our fun game. LEONARD: Yeah, weird. So, Howard and Amy working together, that’s interesting, huh? SHELDON: Eh, it’s all right, I suppose. Look, when usually when Amy complains about her coworkers, I just tune her out, but now, I’ll be able to join in, and pound away. LEONARD: You’re not jealous, of Howard, are you? SHELDON: Of course not. The only engineer I’m jealous of, is the one who blows the train whistle. Ooooooo, that a just gave me an idea for a new game. What whistle am I? LEONARD: Train. SHELDON: For your information, it was going to be teakettle. But, the teakettle was on a train, so I’ll give it to you. ATOM CUT TO SCENE E AMY’S LAB (Howard, Amy) BOTH SITTING AT A LAB TABLE, HOWARD ON A COMPUTER, AMY WRITING ON PIECE OF PAPER. HOWARD: If we add phase detection to your EEG sensors, I’ll have to rewrite most of the code. AMY: Can you do that? HOWARD: Well, these hands were made to do three things, close up magic, writing code, and the dirty shadow puppet show that got me kicked out of Hebrew school. SHELDON ENTERS LAB. SHELDON: Hello. AMY TURNS AND WALKS TWO STEPS TOWARD SHELDON, AMY (smiling): Hi, what a nice surprise. SHELDON: I just came by to see how you two were getting along. AMY: Well, everything is going really great. SHELDON: Awwwwww, that’s nice to hear. SHELDON BLINKING HIS EYES SHELDON: I was hoping you two would enjoy working together. SHELDON STOPS BLINKING, AND NODS AMY: What’s with the blinking. SHELDON: It’s Morse code. So we can talk about…… SHELDON MAKES A FACE AND NODS TOWARD HOWARD. SHELDON: Without hurting…… SHELDON MAKES A FACE AND NODS TOWARD HOWARD. SHELDON: ……feelings. AMY: Sheldon, I don’t know Morse code. HOWARD: I do, and if you have something to say, you can say it to my face. SHELDON: Oh. (beat) All right. SHELDON STARTS BLINKING HIS EYES, FINALLY STOPS HOWARD: I’m a little rusty, can you say that again? SHELDON STARTS BLINKING HIS EYES ATOM CUT TO SCENE F APARTMENT 4A (Penny) PENNY ON COUCH, READING. LEONARD ENTERS, PUTS KEYS IN BOWL, FOLLOWED BY SHELDON ENTERING. SHELDON: She’s going to be home at eightish, wh……what is that? 8:01? 8:02? LEONARD PUTS HIS BAG ON HIS COMPUTER CHAIR. SHELDON: What kind of scientist uses -ish? LEONARD: I’ll give it a go, my ride home with you was hellish. LEONARD WALKS OVER TO THE FRIDGE, PENNY STOPS READING PENNY: Sheldon, honey, if you want to join us for dinner, you’re more than welcome. SHELDON: Oh, thank you,I don’t think I’d be very good company tonight. LEONARD: Well, then out you go. LEONARD WAVE HIS HAND AT SHELDON. PENNY: Okay, what is going on? SHELDON: Ever since Amy started working with Howard, she hasn’t been home. PENNY: Didn’t that just start this morning? SHELDON: And has she been home? PENNY: You know, that would frustrate me. PENNY STANDS AND WALKS TO SHELDON. PENNY: Does it frustrate you? SHELDON: It does. PENNY: I get that. You know, it’s okay to feel frustrated, when things aren’t going your way. SHELDON: I suppose. Ahhhh, maybe it’s not that big of deal. LEONARD LOOKS OVER, PUZZLED, CURIOUS. PENNY: No, no, no, your feelings are valid. Now, why don’t you go wash up, and, we’ll call you when dinner’s ready. SHELDON LOOKS AT PENNY, LEONARD LOOKS AT PENNY IN CONFUSION. SHELDON: Okay. SHELDON LEAVES, PENNY CLOSES THE DOOR. LEONARD: What did you do…are you a witch? PENNY: Well, I’ve been reading Bernadette’s parenting book. It’s like the answer key, to the Sheldon test. LEONARD: That’s amazing. PENNY: Yeah, I know, but it’s only birth to five, what do we do when he turns six? LEONARD: Take him to the zoo and leave him there. ATOM CUT TO SCENE G WOLOWITZ KITCHEN (Bernadette) BERNADETTE AT KITCHEN TABLE, TYPING ON COMPUTER, RAJ ENTERS. RAJ: Hey Bernadette. BERNADETTE: Hey Raj. Howard’s not here. RAJ: I know. He’s been at the lab every night this week, with his work wife. BERNADETTE: That’s weird, I thought his work wife was standing in my kitchen. RAJ: Don’t be snippy, I came to see how your were doing. Like, do you need help with anything? BERNADETTE: Thank you. There are a few things around the house that I've been waiting for Howard to get to. The smoke alarms really need… RAJ: No, I mean emotionally. How are you feeling? BERNADETTE: Like you’re not really here to help me. RAJ: Wow, still snippy. BERNADETTE: Everything’s fine. Howard’s really excited about his work, he’s been in a great mood. I’m really proud of him. BERNADETTE CLOSES COMPUTER, STANDS, GOES TO COFFEE MAKER. RAJ: And I can still fit into the pants I wore in high school. Come on, we don’t have to lie to each other. BERNADETTE: You’re right, I have a teething baby, I’m pregnant, I have a proposal due tomorrow, I don’t have time to hear about how much you’re missing my husband. RAJ: Well, I think I know why he’s been working so late. ATOM CUT TO SCENE H APARTMENT 4B (Sheldon) SHELDON SITTING ON THE COUCH, LOOKING AT A BOOK, AMY ENTERS, DROPS KEYS IN BOWL. AMY: Hi SHELDON CLOSES BOOK, SHELDON: Welcome home. How was work? AMY PUTS PURSE ON SIDEBOARD. AMY: Great, Howard had an idea…… SHELDON: That’s enough about work. Now, you just got here, you need to sit down…… SHELDON PATS COUCH NEXT TO HIM. SHELDON: …… and let me pamper you. AMY (laughs): Well, that sounds nice. AMY WALKS TO COUCH, SITS. SHELDON: I got you a little something, to help you relax. SHELDON HANDS AMY A SMALL BAG. AMY(smiling): Sheldon, that is the sweetest mos…… AMY OPENS BAG, PULLS OUT A NOTEBOOK. SMILE TURNS TO PUZZLEMENT AMY:…… wha… what is this? SHELDON: The notes from our quantum cognition project. I thought we could spend the evening, grinding away on it. AMY: I just got home, I’m tired…… SHELDON: Of Howard, I know. So, how about you and me make some beautiful science together? AMY: Sheldon, I want to work on this with you, just not tonight. What if we get up early, and do it in the morning. I promise, I’ll be way more into it. SHELDON: You know what? There was a time that you would have been happy to stay up and collaborate, all night with me. And then wake up in the morning and do it some more. AMY (sighs): Fine, but can we make it quick? SHELDON: No, if you’re going to make me do all the work, then go to bed. But, don’t be surprised if you walk out here and catch me doing it myself. FADEOUT END ACT 1 ACT 2 ATOM CUT TO SCENE J APARTMENT 4A (Penny) PENNY POURNING A CUP OF COFFEE. LEONARD ENTERS FROM HALLWAY, LOOKING AT HIS PHONE, WALKS OVER TO PENNY BY ISLAND. LEONARD: Sheldon’s texting me to drive him to Bernadette’s. PENNY: What are you going to say? LEONARD: Well, they did just introduce the middle finger emoji, if it’s not for this, I don’t know what it’s for. PENNY: No, no, no, he’ll just thing that means, be there in a minute. PENNY WALKS OVER TO COFFEE TABLE, PICKS UP BOOK. FLIPS THROUGH IT PENNY: Maybe there’s something in the book that will help. LEONARD: It’s worth a shot PENNY: Okay, let’s see, let’s see. Biting other children? LEONARD: Mmmm, sometimes, but problem for another day PENNY: Wait, wait, wait, here we go, let him have ownership of his choices, allow him to choose from options that are acceptable to you. LEONARD: I don’t know, I’ll give it a try…… LEONARD STARTS TEXTING SHELDON LEONARD: …… I can drive you in two hours, or you can take an Uber. PENNY: Good, now he feels like he has a choice. [SFX] MESSAGE RECIEVED ON LEONARD’S PHONE. LEONARD: He’s going to take an Uber PENNY: Wow, it worked. LEONARD: Unless he bites the driver, yeah. LEONARD TAKES BOOK FROM PENNY, LOOKS AT THE BACK ATOM CUT TO SCENE K WOLOWITZ KITCHEN (Sheldon, Bernadette) BOTH SITTING AT TABLE, SHELDON DRINKING TEA, BERNADETTE WORKING ON COMPUTER. SHELDON: And, now they’re working on a Saturday? Can you believe them? Is this how you envisioned your weekend? BERNADETTE(frustrated): No, it is not. SHELDON: This whole thing is maddening. BERNADETTE: I’m really busy. I don’t have time to listen to you complain. SHELDON: Hey, you’re complaining too. Sheldon, why are you here? Sheldon, the apple sauce is for the baby. BERNADETTE: What do you want? SHELDON: I just wish I could make Howard feel as angry as I’m feeling. BERNADETTE CLOSES THE COMPUTER. BERNADETTE: Well, maybe you could do something he likes, and make him jealous. SHELDON: Like what? BERNADETTE: Have you ever read Tom Sawyer? SHELDON: No. BERNADETTE: Chores, he likes chores. SHELDON: Oooooooo, what kind of chores? BERNADETTE: Well, you could change the batteries in the smoke detectors. That would drive him crazy. SHELDON: That’s great. Oh, he’ll be so mad, smoke will be coming out of his ears. An, an, and, the smoke detectors will detect it. Well, now, hold on. Why did you ask me about Tom Sawyer? BERNADETTE: I’m just interested in you. SHELDON: Well, you are sweeter than your applesauce. ATOM CUT TO SCENE L AMY’S LAB (Amy, Howard) HOWARD LOOKING AT DATA ON THE COMPUTER, AMY WALKS TO TABLE WITH NOTEBOOK. HOWARD: Okay, I’m going to extend the wait time and have them pull the A to D converter at the top of the loop, instead of the bottom. AMY: That’s impressive. HOWARD: You think that’s impressive, take apart that brain model. AMY SEPARATES THE PIECES OF THE MODEL, FINDS A THREE OF CLUBS PLAYING CARD. AMY: Oh my God, three of clubs, that was my card. HOWARD: I used to make it appear in my pants, but HR said I had to stop doing that. AMY PUTS MODEL BACK TOGETHER, PUTS IT ON IT’S STAND. AMY: So, how much longer until we can test it. HOWARD: Well, it needs to compile, so it’s going to be a few minutes. AMY: Sounds like we’re earned ourselves a break. HOWARD: You want to hear some Neil Sadaka? AMY: You know, that’s your greatest magic trick, because you just read my mind. HOWARD PUSHING ONE OF TH KEYS, NEIL SADAKA SINGS CALENDAR GIRL. BOTH CONTINUE WRITING, BUT START MOVING THEIR SHOULDERS, AND SINGING ALONG. THEY STAND, AND START DANCING, STILL SINGING. RAJ ENTERS. RAJ: Well, well, well…… AMY TURNS OFF MUSIC. AMY: Hi. HOWARD: Hey. RAJ: You say your busy as bees, yet here you are, dancing. Although I suppose, bees do dance, but their dance, lets other bees know where the pollen is, and yours does not. So, my logic, despite that slight detour, does track. HOWARD: I’m just waiting for my code to compile. What are you doing here? RAJ: I stopped by to see if you wanted to go to the movies with me. HOWARD: I’d love to, but we’re just about to test the interface, it could take a while. RAJ: Okay, buddy, it’s not my place, but Bernadette’s been feeling a little abandoned, with all the hours you’ve been putting in. AMY: You just asked him to go to the movies. RAJ: Yeah, but our weird relationship was grandfathered into their marriage, and yours was not. ATOM CUT TO SCENE M WOLOWITZ KITCHEN (Bernadette) SITTING AT KITCHEN TABLE, WITH HER FEET UP, EATING ICECREAM SHELDON ENTERS SHELDON: Okay, I put new batteries in the smoke detectors. BERNADETTE: Did you do the laundry? SHELDON: I sure did. Oooooo, he’s gonna be steamed, just like his dress shirts BERNADETTE: At least he can still clean the ovens. So, that’s something. SHELDON: Woah, that’s what he things, where’s your steel wool. BERNADETTE HOLDS UP A PAD OF STEEL WOOL. BERNADETTE: Right here. SHELDON: We make quite the team. BERNADETTE: Sure do. BERNADETTE CONTINUES EATING ICECREAM, SHELDON GOES AND LOOKS UNDER THE SINK, RAJ ENTERS. RAJ: Guys, you won’t believe this, I stop by the university to check in on Howard and Amy, and they were having fun. SHELDON: Well, don’t worry, he won’t be having any fun when he gets home…… SHELDON HOLDS UP THE STEEL WOOL, AND GLOVES SHELDON: ……I did all his favorite chores. RAJ: What are you talking about, Howard hates doing chores. SHELDON: Why would Bernadette tell me…… Bernadette. SHELDON STOPS, WALKS TO BERNADETTE, BERNADETTE LOOKS CAUGHT. SHELDON:…… Did you play on my well established gullibility, to clean your house? BERNADETTE GOES BACK TO EATING THE ICE CREAM. BERNADETTE: Sure did. SHELDON: Well, I would storm out of here, but I already have the gloves and the steel wool and I really do love cleaning an oven…… SHELDON PUSHES RAJ OUT OF THE WAY. SHELDON: Move. SHELDON OPENS OVEN DOOR. ATOM CUT TO SCENE N APARTMENT 4A AT ISLAND (Leonard, Penny, Sheldon) ALL THREE AROUND THE ISLAND, SHELDON DRINKING TEA. SHELDON: She made me do all her chores, and it wasn’t even her idea, she stole it, from Tom Sawyer. LEONARD: You know what? This is crazy. Howard and Amy are working together, get over it. PENNY: Leonard, what are you doing? LEONARD TURNS TO PENNY LEONARD: Knowing when to say when…… LEONARD TURNS BACK TO SHELDON LEONARD: …… This is not a big deal. SHELDON: It is a big deal. Howard’s getting Amy used to laughing and listening to music. What if she expects that madness at home? PENNY: You know, that is a good point. I’m really proud of the way that you express your feelings. SHELDON: Thank you, I’m just so angry. PENNY: You know, everyone gets angry. Even mommies and daddies. LEONARD: You can’t think this is the right time to validate his behavior. PENNY PULLS LEONARD SEVERAL STEPS AWAY FROM SHELDON PENNY: Okay, what about presenting a united front. LEONARD: What about you coddling him, and he’s never gonna learn. PENNY: Look, you sound frustrated, and I’m really proud of the way you’re able to state your opinion. LEONARD: Thank you. (beat) (angry) What, no, no. Don’t use that book on me. SHELDON: Wai, wai, what book? LEONARD: Penny’s been using one of Bernadette’s parenting books on you. PENNY: What? So has he. SHELDON: What makes you think you can treat me like a child. LEONARD PENNY GIVE SHELDON A WTF STARE(2 beats) LEONARD: Your shampoo comes in a Big Bird bottle. SHELDON: That’s because the adult shampoo burns my man eyes. SHELDON STARTS WALKING TOWARD THE DOOR. ATOM CUT TO SCENE P WOLOWITZ KITCHEN (Bernadette) BERNADETTE AT TABLE, WORKING, COMPUTER OPEN. RAJ ENTERS. RAJ: Hey, what are you working on? BERNADETTE (frustrated): Oh, my God, you’re still here? RAJ: Of course I’m here, I know what you’re going through. BERNADETTE (sarcastic): Really? You have a needy Indian man in your house? RAJ: I did, but then he came over here. RAJ WALKS TO TABLE, SITS IN CHAIR ATOM CUT TO SCENE Q APARTMENT 4A (Penny, Leonard) PENNY AND LEONARD ENTER FROM HALLWAY PENNY (angrily): So, is this how it’s gonna be if we have kids? You’re just going to throw me under the bus? LEONARD GOES TO FRIDGE, OPEN IT. PENNY FOLLOWS LEONARD: If you spoil them, the way you do Sheldon, then yeah. PENNY: Uh, my way was working, okay? I think you’re just upset because there are some things I’m better than you at. LEONARD: Well, you can’t end a sentence with a preposition, so, clearly, not grammar. LEONARD GET’S BOTTLE OF WATER. PENNY: If you’re so smart, was that a smart thing to say? LEONARD: That depends, before I said it, was sex tonight still on the table? PENNY (angry): NO! LEONARD: Then that’s fine. LEONARD CLOSES DOOR TO FRIDGE, WALKS AWAY. PENNY LOOKS ANGRY. ZOOM CUT TO SCENE R AMY’S LAB (Amy, Howard) BOTH SITTING AT WORKBENCH, LOOKING AT COMPUTER. HOWARD: You know, once we get this operational, we can probably figure out how to make it wireless. AMY: That’ll be amazing. [SFX] TONE FROM AMY’S PHONE AMY: Oh, that’s Sheldon. Oh, he’s upset with Leonard and Penny. [SFX] TONE FROM AMY’S PHONE AMY: And Bernadette. [SFX] TONE FROM AMY’S PHONE AMY: And Mark Twain. HOWARD: Yeah, Bernadette texted earlier, Raj is really getting on her nerves. AMY: I guess we have been working late a lot. (Amy sighs) Should we call it a night, and go home? AMY STANDS HOWARD: Or, we could brew a pot of coffee, and power through. AMY: I don’t know, it’s getting kinda late AMY LOOKS AT HER WRIST FOR HER WATCH, IT’S NOT THERE. AMY: Hey, where’s my watch? HOWARD: Why don’t you ask your skeleton? AMY LOOKS AT HOWARD STRANGELY, THEN LOOKS AT SKELETON. WATCH IN ON THE SKELETON’S LEFT WRIST. AMY IS AMAZED AND SPEECHLESS. HOWARD LEANS BACK WITH A SMUG EXPRESSION. AMY (excitedly): Oh my God, how’s that even possible? HOWARD RAISES HIS ARMS, AND SHRUGS FADEOUT END OF ACT 2 TAG ATOM CUT TO SCENE S APARTMENT 4B (Sheldon, Raj) SHELDON SITTING ON THE COUCH, RAJ WALKS OVER SITS DOWN, WITH POPCORN. RAJ: This is great, the two of us hanging out. Why didn’t we think of this earlier? SHELDON: Agreed. I don’t need Amy to watch a movie. I can not hold your hand just as easily. SHELDON PICKES UP REMOTE, TURNS ON THE MOVIE SOUNDS OF THE MOVIE SHELDON: In the book, this is based on, that man’s, the killer. RAJ, IS SHOCKED, TURNS TO GIVE SHELDON A DIRTY LOOK. BLACKOUT END OF TAG RUN END CREDITS END OF SHOW
  12. Here's a nice article on Kaley's work, post Big Bang.
  13. That is not Marla Gibbs. Her name is Vernee Watson. (there are various spellings, including hyphenating the last name of Johnson, when she was married). She was also a nurse in the hospital when Sheldon's barber, Tony D'nofrio, was in the hospital (0518 The Werewolf Transformation) and was the nurse at the Hospital when Howard ate the candy bar that had Peanuts in it, on Leonard's birthday (0116. The Peanut Reaction). She was also in the unaired Pilot. Vernee goes all the way back to 1993-94 with Chuck Lorre. She is currently in the main cast for Lorre's Bob Hearts Abishola. Her first appearance in one of Lorre's shows, was in Grace Under Fire (Bernadette's dad, played by Casey Sander, was second billed in that show and was in all 112 shows). Besides the two Big Bang related shows, she has also appeared in Lorre's Two and A Half Men, Mike and Molly, and Dharma and Gregg. She currently has almost 180 acting credits, going back to 1970.
  14. The transcript for the fourth episode of Season 11, 1104 The Explosion Implosion, is now up in the Season 11 Transcript Sub-forum.
  15. In season 11 (1116 The Neonatal Nomenclature) both Amy and Leonard wanted Elliot, for the boys name. I think that is where Amy's comment (You're lucky I let you name him Leonard) comes from. So, if it's a boy, I would think it would be Elliot, since Penny was pregnant first. As for another boys name, or girl names, I have some ideas, but I'm holding back on those, simply because I will be using them in my current fan fic, with Penny pregnant. And don't want to give anything away, just yet, as I haven't disclosed the sex yet. And for those reading and wondering, you have a ways to go yet. I haven't decided on if they will decide to . I just finished the first draft of chapter 40, and they still don't know the sex. MUHAHAHAHAHAH
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