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Tensor

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  1. I love her reply, on her IG stories: "Same"
  2. Johnny's post for Kaley's birthday: https://www.instagram.com/p/CIPU233gq6U/
  3. Johnny's post for Kaley's birthday: https://www.instagram.com/p/CIPU233gq6U/ Kaley's reply: THIS IS EVERYTHING😭😭😭😭 I LOVE U MOOKS! Even at my old age of 82! 🤣
  4. All right, it’s been fixed, you can see the season 12 Transcripts now.
  5. I left a message for Tripper, I believe it's got something to do with how the Transcript Forum is set up. Once it's fixed, I'll leave a note in here.
  6. OK, as I mentioned, here is the transcript for the first episode of season 12, 1201 The Conjugal Configuration. I'll start working on the second episode next Wednesday.
  7. The Conjugal Configuration Season 12 Episode 01 Teleplay by Story by Steve Holland Chuck Lorre & & Maria Ferrari Eric Kaplan & & Jeremy Howe Tara Hernandez COLD OPEN SCENE A ATOM CUT JIM PARSONS: Previously on The Big Bang Theory. CUT TO APARTMENT 4A (Amy, Mr Fowler, Mrs Fowler) MRS FOWLER WITH HER ARM AROUND AMY’S NECK, FACING MR FOWLER MRS FOWLER: Can you believed our little lamb is finally getting married…… MR FOWLER TAKES STEP TOWARDS THE TWO, MRS FOWLER LETS GO OF AMY, FACES HER, WITH BACK TO MR FOWLER. MRS FOWLER:…… he can’t believe it. And neither can I. MRS FOWLER, AMY HUG. AMY: Hi dad, how are you doing? MR FOWLER, ACTS LIKE HE’S HANGING FROM THE END OF A ROPE, HE IS HOLDING. HE STOPS, BEFORE MR FOWLER TURNS AROUND. ZOOM CUT TO CALTECH ATHENAEUM (Mark Hamill, Amy, Sheldon) MARK HAMILL OFFICIATING AT AMY AND SHELDON’S WEDDING. MARK HAMILL (almost crying): By the power vested in me by Even You Can Perform Weddings dot Com, I now pronounce you, husband and wife. You may kiss the bride. AMY AND SHELDON KISS. END OF FLASHBACK ATOM CUT WITH AN “AND NOW…” TO SCENE B HOTEL ROOM (Sheldon and Amy) AMY SLEEPING, SHELDON GENTLY SHAKING HER TO WAKE HER. SHELDON: Good morning wife. AMY(smiles, laughs): Good morning husband. AMY TURNS IN BED TO FACE SHELDON. AMY: I can believe we’re actually married. SHELDON: It’s official. According to tradition, we should hang the bedsheets outside, so the villagers can see we consummated. SHELDON GETS OUT OF BED, WALKS TO THE WINDOW. AMY: I don’t think that’s appropriate, considering where we’re starting our honeymoon. SHELDON: Well, I suppose you’re right…… SHELDON OPENS THE CURTAINS, LEGOLAND IS OUTSIDE THEIR WINDOW. SHELDON:…… although, when you think about it, Lego is the perfect metaphor, for marital congress. Two pieces that interlock, with a satisfying snap. AMY: Oh, that’s the sound you were making. SHELDON WALKS TO THE BED SHELDON: Oh, I almost forgot, while you were sleeping, I ordered room service. SHELDON PICKS UP A COVERED SERVING TRAY, AND BRINGS IT TO AMY. AMY: Really? SHELDON: Violá SHELDON TAKES COVER OFF OF DISH, DISPLAYS EGG, BACON, AND PANCAKES, ALL MADE OF LEGOS. SHELDON (giggling): You thought it was going to be food, didn’t you. CUT TO OPENING TITLES ACT 1 ATOM CUT TO SCENE C APARTMENT STAIRWAY (Leonard, Penny, Raj, Howard, Bernadette) ALL ARE WALKING UP THE STAIRS, HOWARD CARRYING THE BOX OF FOOD. RAJ: Mother, Is it nice having Sheldon and Amy away, on their honeymoon? PENNY: Yeah, because now Leonard and I get all this alone time. RAJ: But you’re not alone, we’re here. PENNY (frustrated): Yes, yes you are. BERNADETTE: Would you like us to leave, so you and Leonard can talk about all the things you have in common? LEONARD: Ha ha, she called your bluff. RAJ: Something pretty cool happened, channel three asked me to be on the news tomorrow night, to talk about the meteor shower. LEONARD: Well, that’s great. PENNY: Heyyyyyyy. BERNADETTE: Congratulations. HOWARD: You know, that’s how Neil deGrasse Tyson got his start. He went from the Hayden Planetarium, to guesting on the local news, to ruining everyone’s favorite movies on the internet. RAJ: Now it’s happening to me. Oooooo, I should probably make a list of all the scientific inaccuracies in Momma Mia Two. PENNY: You’re going to go on live TV, and admit you’ve seen that movie? RAJ: Hey, your husbands the one who took me. PENNY GIVE LEONARD A WTF STARE. LEOANRD: Meryl Streep and Cher? Yeah, I saw it. LEONARD PUTS THE KEY INTO THE DOOR OF 4A, TO UNLOCK IT, A NOISE COMES FROM 4B. ALL TURN TO LOOK. LEONARD REMOVES KEY. THERE IS ANOTHER NOISE. RAJ: Sounds like someone’s in there. BERNADETTE: God, what if Sheldon and Amy are getting robbed? HOWARD: Or worse, what if they’re back early? LEONARD: They’re not, they just posted a picture in front of the Statue of Liberty. PENNY: Real or Lego? LEONARD: Lego. BERNADETTE: So, what should we do? Should someone go check it out. RAJ: I would, but I got to be on TV tomorrow. Got to protect the money. RAJ INDICATES HIS FACE, PENNY RUNS OVER TO APARTMENT 4B’S DOOR. PUTS HER EAR ON THE DOOR. PENNY: Oh, yeah, someone is definitely in there. LEONARD: Okay, let’s go into our apartment…… LEONARD REINSERTS KEY AND STARTS TURNING THE KEY IN THE LOCK LEONARD:……We’ll lock the door, we’ll call the police…… PENNY STARTS BANGING ON THE DOOR PENNY(starts yelling): Hello, anyone in there? DOOR OPENS, MR FOWLER APPEARS. MR FOWLER: Yes? PENNY: Oh, Mr Fowler, sorry, we didn’t know you were here. We actually thought someone was breaking in. RAJ: And we were ready to take them down. MR FOWLER: Amy asked me to water her plants. PENNY: She doesn’t have any plants. MR FOWLER: Oh, well, you’ve caught me in a lie. MR FOWLER TURNS, CLOSES DOOR. MR FOWLER: Have a good day. MR FOWLER WALKS DOWN STAIRS. HOWARD: That was weird, right? LEONARD: Was it? I…I…I honestly can’t tell anymore. LEONARD OPENS DOOR, THEY ALL START TO ENTER. MR FOWLER: Hey, did you even see Mamma Mia One? MR FOWLER: Didn’t need to, the sequel stands on it’s own. AFTER ALL HAVE ENTERED, RAJ CLOSES APARTMENT 4A’S DOOR, MR FOWLER COMES BACK UP THE STAIRS, TO APARTMENT 4B, AND ENTERS IT, SCENE D ATOM CUT TO NY HOTEL ROOM (Bellboy, Amy, Sheldon) BELLBOY ENTERS CARRYING LUGGAGE, PUT IT ON THE FOOTSTOOL, AT THE END OF THE BED. AMY AND SHELDON ENTER. BELLBOY: Here ya go. If you need any recommendations while visiting New York, please don’t hesitate…… BELLBOY OPENS SHEER DRAPES OVER WINDOW. BELLBOY: ……to contact me. AMY: Well, it is our honeymoon. SHELDON: So we are going to be quite busy. BELLBOY: Got it. BELLBOY GOES OUT TO HALLWAY, TO GET MORE LUGGAGE. BRINGS IT IN AMY: Harry Potter play, parts one and two. SHELDON: And, tomorrow, a tour of the sites where Nicola Tesla lived, worked, and slowly went crazy. BELLBOY GIVE SHELDON A WEIRD LOOK. SHELDON WALKS TO BELLBOY, SHELDON GIVES BELLBOY TIP SHELDON: And, of course, coitus. AMY EMBARRASSED, BELLBOY LOOKS SHOCKED. BELLBOY: Well, enjoy, New York. And, I guess, coitus. BELLBOY LEAVES, SHELDON CLOSES DOOR. AMY: Really, Sheldon? You want to do it again? (Amy smiles) SHELDON: Don’t act surprised, it’s clearly marked on the schedule. SHELDON HOLDS UP PHONE, SHOWING SCHEDULE. SHELDON: Now, shall we, steam the wrinkles out of our wizard robes, or make vigorous, socially sanctioned love. Either way, I can check something off my to do list. AMY(sounding puzzled): Socially sanction……(understanding) oh, wow, yeah, there it is right there. SCENE E ATOM CUT TO APARTMENT 4A (Leonard, Penny) LEONARD ON COUCH, PENNY PUTTING PLATE IN THE FRIDGE, THEN WALKS TOWARD COUCH. LEONARD: Uh, hurry, Raj is on next. PENNY: I can’t believe they cancelled Vampire Diaries, but they’ll show this. PENNY POINTS AT TV, THEN SITS ON COUCH, IN SHELDON’S SPOT. LEONARD (deadpan): This is the news. PENNY: And that was a woman torn between two hunky vampires. What is your point? SOUND OF POUNDING ON A DOOR. UNKNOWN VOICE: Larry, I know you’re in there. PENNY: Is that Amy’s mom? MORE POUNDING. UNKNOWN VOICE: Let me in. UNKNOWN VOICE (yells and pounds): Let. UNKNOWN VOICE (yells and pounds): Me. UNKNOWN VOICE (yells and pounds): In. LEONARD: Either that or the big bad wolf. MORE POUNDING. LEONARD AND PENNY TO THE DOOR, OPEN IT. MRS FOWLER POUNDING ON APARTMENT 4B’S DOOR. MRS FOWLER: Larry. PENNY: Mrs Fowler? Are you okay? MRS FOWLER: Oh, I’m okay. It’s my husband you should worry about. PENNY: Oh, we do. MRS FOWLER: Larry, come on. LEONARD: I don’t think he’s in there. MRS FOWLER TURNS HER HEAD TO LOOK AT LEONARD. GIVES HIM A “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU” LOOK. LEONARD: I mean he came by to water the imaginary plants, but then he left. MRS FOWLER: You are so naive. Blondie here is going to chew you up and spit you out. PENNY: Well, don’t tell him. LEONARD GIVES PENNY A STRNGE LOOK. MRS FOWLER WAVES HER HAND MRS FOWLER: Come on, you have an extra key, open it up. LEONARD REACHES IN, GETS KEY, GOES TO 4B TO OPEN IT LEONARD: All right, but I’m telling you he’s not in there. LEONARD OPENS 4B, ALL THREE ENTER, LEONARD TURNS LIGHT ON. LEONARD: There, see? MRS FOWLER: Ohhhhh, he’s in here, I can smell his axe body spray. MRS FOLWER LOOKING AROUND IN THE LIVING ROOM LEONARD: He wears axe body spray. PENNY: You happy? You smell like Amy’s dad. MRS FOLWER MOVES INTO THE BEDROOM MRS FOWLER: Larry! PENNY(whispers): Come on. PENNY STARTS INTO BEDROOM. STOPS WHEN LEONARD SPEAKS. LEONARD: Shouldn’t we mind our own business? PENNY: Wow, sometimes, it’s like you don’t know me at all. PENNY HEADS INTO BEDROOM, LEONARD FOLLOWS. MRS FOWLER LOOKING IN THE CLOSET PENNY: See, he not here. MRS FOWLER: You don’t know him like I do. MRS FOLWER MOVES INTO THE BATHROOM LEONARD: To be fair, we don’t know either of you. PENNY AND LEONARD MOVE INTO THE BATHROOM. MRS FOWLER PULLS ONE SIDE OF THE SHOWER CURTAIN, TO THE OTHER SIDE. NOTHING. LEONARD: Satisfied? MRS FOWLER PULLS OTHER SIDE OF THE SHOWER CURTAIN, MR FOWLER IS THERE. PENNY: Oh, yeah, now I smell him. SCENE F ATOM CUT TO WOLOWITZ LIVING ROOM (Howard, Bernadette) HOWARD AND BERNADETTE SITTING ON COUCH, WATCHING TV, EATING POPCORN. VOICE OF WEATHER GIRL, ON TV, CAN BE HEARD. BERNADETTE: Hey, that is one hot weather girl. HOWARD: How come, if I say that, I get in trouble? BERNADETTE: You want to say it, you can say it. HOWARD LOOKS CONFUSED AND WORRIED HOWARD: Nice try. You’re going to have to find some other way, to not have sex with me tonight. And, it’s not weather girl, it’s weather woman. CUT TO TV SCREEN IS VISIBLE, WITH WEATHER WOMAN AND RAJ. WOMAN: And with us today, to talk about the upcoming meteor shower, and the best places to view it, Caltech astrophysicist, Dr Rajesh, Koothrapolli. Thank you for being here. RAJ: Thank you for having me. I guess Neil deGrasse Tyson was (laughs)unavailable. (laughs) WOMAN: (laughs loudly) Yeah. RAJ’S SMILE DISAPPEARS, TURNS TO THE WOMAN RAJ: What do you mean, yeah? WOMAN WAVES RAJ’S CONCERNS AWAY WOMAN: Not important. What can we expect to see from this meteor shower? RAJ: Well, I think we can count on a lot of flaming gas, which is what you would have gotten from your first choice, Neil deGrasse Tyson. RESET CUT TO WOLOWITZ LIVING ROOM HOWARD: Pull up, Raj. Pull up. RESET CUT TO TV SCREEN WOMAN: Sounds like there is no love lost between you and Dr Tyson. RAJ: Oh, no, I love Neil. I mean, not as much as Neil loves Neil, but who does, right? RESET CUT TO WOLOWITZ LIVING ROOM BERNADETTE: I want to look away, but I can’t. RESET CUT TO TV SCREEN WOMAN: Oh, you know, I’m told we are out of time. Having learned nothing about meteor showers, and too much about Dr Koothrapolli. RAJ: Thank you. RESET CUT TO WOLOWITZ LIVING ROOM HOWARD AND BERNADETTE STARE AT TV WITH BLANK, SHOCKED STARES. SCENE G ATOM CUT TO NY HOTEL ROOM (Sheldon, Amy) SHELDON AND AMY, WEARING WIZARD’S ROBES, ENTER THE ROOM. SHELDON: You know what I love about Broadway Theatre? It’s so interactive. SHELDON CLOSES DOOR AMY (annoyed): Uh, huh. SHELDON: You’re so close to the actors, it’s like you’re in the play. AMY(annoyed): Uh huh. AMY PUT PURSE ON THE DESK, AND THEN HER AND SHELDON TAKE OFF THEIR ROBES. SHELDON: You yell Harry, watch out, he looks right at you. And, not just Harry, everyone on stage. AMY(annoyed): At the risk of sounding redundant, uh huh. SHELDON: All, right, it’s a bit late, but I did block out the rest of the evening for conjugal relations. Should we shower? I mean before, not during, that’s how you fall and break a hip. AMY: You know, I’m a little jet laggy, maybe we can revisit this in the morning. SHELDON: Oh, no can do, if we miss tonight, it’s not scheduled until Thursday at six. And that’ll have to be no frills, because we got 6:30 reservation at Benihanna. AMY: Sheldon, do we really have to do this on a schedule? SHELDON: Are you suggesting spontaneity? AMY: I… I guess, yeah. SHELDON: So, now that we’re married, sex can occur at any time? Like, we could be brushing out teeth and suddenly your minty fresh tongue is in my mouth? No thank you. AMY: Really? Would it be so bad to mix it up a little? SHELDON: Mix it up? Who are you Betty Crocker? SHELDON STARTS WALKING PASSED AMY AMY: Where are you going? SHELDON: To take a shower. Now that sex can happen at any time, I’ll always have to be ready. Should probably live under a waterfall. AMY (irritated) : Well, you don’t have to worry about sex happening tonight. SHELDON: Oh, well, thanks. But, I’m still gonna rinse off. I touched a lot of stuff in the gift shop. SCENE H ATOM CUT TO APARTMENT 4B (Penny, Leonard, Mr and Mrs Fowler) PENNY, LEONARD AND MR FOWLER ARE SEATED, ON THE COUCH, MRS FOWLER IS PACING. MRS FOWLER: No message, no note, who would do that. What kind of husband…… LEONARD: If you let him talk, maybe you’ll find out. MRS FOWLER STOPS PACING, LOOKS AT MR FOWLER, CROSSES HER ARMS. MRS FOWLER: Fine, Larry? MR FOWLER SHRUGS PENNY: There you go, what more can he say? MRS FOWLER: Lets go home. MR FOWLER: I think I’ll stay. MRS FOWLER: Well, if you’re going to stay, then I’ll stay. MRS FOWLER SITS IN CHAIR. LEONARD: All right, well, you know who doesn’t need to stay? Us, come on. LEONARD WALKS OUT OF THE APARTMENT _(BEAT) LEONARD WALKS BACK IN. LEONARD: Penny. LEONARD WALKS OUT. PENNY (disappointed): Ohhhhhhh. PENNY WALKS OUT. CLOSES DOOR MRS FOWLER: I don’t think those two are going to make it. FADEOUT END ACT 1 ACT 2 ATOM CUT TO SCENE J APARTMENT 4A (Penny and Leonard) PENNY AND LEONARD ENTER. LEONARD: Poor Mr Fowler, I really feel sorry for the little guy. PENNY: I know, after they had Amy, she should have just eaten him and been done with it. LEONARD CLOSES DOOR LEONARD: Look at you, retaining facts from a nature show. PENNY OPENS FRIDGE, GETS BOTTLE OF WATER, STANDS BY ISLNAD. LEONARD WALKS UP TO HER. PENNY: I know, really what did he ever see in her? He’s so, so sweet, and she’s such a ball-buster. LEONARD: Some guys think strong women are sexy. PENNY: They seem to have nothing in common. LEONARD: Sometimes opposites attract. PENNY OPENS BOTTLE, LEONARD RUBS PENNY’S ARM. PENNY: Wai……wai……are you saying we, are like them? LEONARD: I don’t know, maybe a little. PENNY: So, you’re the sweet quiet one, and I’m Amy’s mom? Is that what you’re saying? LEONARD SHRUGS (AS MR FOWLER DID) PENNY LOOKS SHOCKED AND ANGRY. WALKS AWAY, TOWARDS THE HALLWAY. ATOM CUT TO SCENE K WOLOWITZ LIVING ROOM (Howard, Bernadette, Raj) HOWARD PASSING OUT FOOD, BERNADETTE BRINGING IN DRINKS, RAJ LOOKING AT HIS PHONE. RAJ: Hey, check out what Neil deGrasse Tyson just tweeted. “I’ve been informed, that some random, attention seeking nobody, took a cheap shot at me, on the local news(smiles, and excited). That’s me, guys, he’s talking about me. HOWARD BERNADETTE SIT ON COUCH, START EATING HOWARD: Yeah, I cut you a lot of slack, cause you come from another country, but, I mean, you’ve been here a long time. BERNADETTE: Raj, you need to apologize to Dr Tyson. RAJ: Whyyyyyy? This could be good for me. Everybody loves a good twitter feud. Neil and I could be like the new Katie Perry and Taylor Swift. BERNADETTE: Come on Raj, you’re better than this. RAJ: Leave room for desert, cause I’m going to make you eat those words. RAJ START TYPING ON HIS PHONE. RAJ: Dear Dr Tyson, much like epithelial tissue, it appears that I’ve gotten, under your skin. iPhone drop. But, I won’t, because I don’t have AppleCare. [SFX] TEXT TONE FROM RAJ’S PHONE.. BERNADETTE: What’d he say? RAJ(reads message): Nice try genius, the skin is epithelial tissue RAJ: Ohhhhhhh, it’s on, he’s Katie, I’m T-Swift. RAJ START TYPING ON HIS PHONE. HOWARD AND BERNADETTE EXCHANGE “WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM” STARES. HOWARD (resignedly): What are you going to do, he’s from another country. SCENE L ATOM CUT TO EXTERIOR: NY STREET. (Group of people, including Tour Guide, Sheldon and Amy) TOUR GUIDE: And, here we have the former hotel, where Tesla perfected the three phase, alternating current motor. TOUR GUIDE CONTINUES SPEAKING UNDER THE SHELDON AND AMY DIALOGUE. SHELDON: That’s wrong, I’m going to say something. AMY: Don’t. SHELDON: Well then, how will everyone know I’m the smartest boy here? AMY (irritated): Just let it go. SHELDON: Is everything all right? You seem testy this morning. AMY (testily): I’m not testy. SHELDON: I’ll have to take your word for it, there’s no test for testy. (beat) Is it possible that you’re sexually frustrated? AMY (testily): Okay, now I’m testy. SHELDON: If you would’ve adhered to my coital schedule, you’re brain would be floating on a sea of oxytocin right now. AMY (angrily): Don’t talk to me about my brain, I’m a neurobiologist. TOUR GUIDE STOPS SPEAKING. SHELDON: Then you should know the benefits of the special hug grownups give each other. REST OF THE GROUP HAS TURNED AND IS LOOKING AT AMY AND SHELDON AMY NOTICES THEM LOOKING AT HER AMY (whispers): Sheldon, everybody’s listening. Unlike that guy. SHELDON POINTS AT TOUR GUIDE. AMY:I’m walking away from you. AMY TURNS AND WALKS AWAY. SHELDON WATCHES HER GO, THEN TURNS AND LOOKS AT THE GROUP. SHELDON: Yeah, I’m only recently married. Do I stay here, do I follow, say something useful. SCENE M ATOM CUT TO APARTMENT 4A KITCHEN AND ISLAND (Leonard, Penny.) PENNY MAKING COFFEE, LEONARD ENTERS FROM HALLWAY. LEONARD: Morning sunshine. PENNY TURNS AND LOOKS AT LEONARD WITH A DEATH STARE. LEONARD: So, I see you’re making espresso. PENNY KEEPS ON SETTING UP MACHINE FOR ESPRESSO PENNY (angry): Yep, just need that extra jolt, for a successful day of ball-busting. LEONARD: Really? I don’t…I don’t think you do. PENNY: You know, you compared us to the strangest couple we know. And we know Amy and Sheldon, Howard and Bernadette, Raj and his twitchy little dog. LEONARD: I…I…I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. PENNY: Because it wasn’t nice, or because it wasn’t true. LEONARD: It’s not true, eh…eh…eh…Mrs Fowler, is an angry, vindictive woman, whereas you are warm, an…and loving, quick to forgive. PENNY (disgusted): Oh, please. PENNY WALKS OVER TO FRIDGE. LEONARD: I…I… I’m serious, and I’m nothing like Amy’s dad. He’s a mousey, little man who can’t stand up for himself. PENNY GIVE LEONARD A “WANNA BET” LOOK. LEONARD: My point is, you’re not like her, so we’re not like them. PENNY (a little sad): Well, thirty years from now are you going to hide from me because I’m so scary? LEONARD: Penny, I don’t think you’re scary. Yes, I flinch when you make sudden moves, but that says more about my childhood, than you. PENNY (touched): Awwwwwww. PENNY STEPS TOWARD LEONARD RAISES HER ARMS TO GIVE HIM A HUG. LEONARD FLINCHES AND TAKES A STEP BACK. HE RAISES HIS ARMS AND INDICATES PENNY SHOULD HUG HIM. THEY HUG. SCENE N ATOM CUT TO WOLOWITZ LIVING ROOM (Howard, Bernadette, Raj) THE THREE ARE PLAYING SETTLERS OF CATAAN, HOWARD GIVES RAJ THE DICE. HOWARD: Your turn. RAJ: Hang on. I’m checking to see if Neil replied to my latest smackdown. BERNADETTE: Really? Don’t you think this twitter feud is a little silly. RAJ: Absolutely not. It’s…it’s…two respected scientists debating opposing views in a public forum. HOWARD: You called him Mike Tyson’s little sister. RAJ: Yeah, and now Mike Tyson’s mad at me too. BERNADETTE: Raj, you’re not going to impress anyone, by attacking him. RAJ (frustrated): Oh, Bernadette, you sound so old right now. HOWARD AND BERNADETTE EXCHANGE DISGUSTED GLANCES. SCENE P ATOM CUT TO APARTMENT 4A (Penny and Mrs Fowler) MRS FOWLER SITTING ON THE COUCH, PENNY WALKS OVER AND SITS IN LEONARD’S CHAIR. SETS COFFEE CUP IN FRONT OF MRS FOWLER. MRS FOWLER: He said he needs a break, and I’m too much for him. PENNY: Oh, I’m sure he didn’t mean that. MRS FOWLER(yelling): He said I’m overbearing. PENNY: Oh, please, you’re just the right amount of bearing. MRS FOWLER GIVES PENNY AN ANGRY STARE. PENNY (short laugh): Look, I know he loves you, if you just give him some space, I’m sure he’ll come back. MRS FOWLER: You really think so? PENNY: Yeah, I do. MRS FOWLER SMILES AND SLIDES OVER ON THE COUCH, TO BE CLOSER TO PENNY. MRS FOWLER: You’re a good person, Penny. I hope we get to spend lots of time together. PENNY SMILES A LARGE FAKE SMILE PENNY: Me too. SCENE Q ZOOM CUT TO APARTMENT 4B DOOR (Penny) PENNY KNOCKING ON THE DOOR MR FOWLER OPENS DOOR MR FOWLER: Yes. PENNY (tightly): Hit the road. MR FOWLER(puzzled): But…… PENNY (yelling): NOW MR FOWLER(puzzled): Can I get my stuff? PENNY (through gritted teeth): Be quick about it. MR FOWLER TURNS TO GET HIS THINGS. SCENE R ATOM CUT TO NY STREET. (Amy) AMY SITTING ON A BENCH. SHELDON WALKS UP, CARRYING TWO HOT DOGS, SITS NEXT TO AMY. SHELDON: Hello AMY: Hello SHELDON: I brought you two hot dogs. AMY: Aren’t you going to eat one? SHELDON: From a street cart? Are you crazy? I’m amazed that I’m holding them AMY: I’m not really hungry SHELDON: You realize, that I’m not a particularly physical perso AMY (nods): I know. SHELDON: When I was little, and people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I’d always say, a brain, in a jar. AMY: Sure. SHELDON: But, I want to be a good husband to you. And, intimacy, is a part of that. SHELDON IS MOVING THE HOT DOGS BACK AND FORTH, IN FRONT OF AMY’S FACE. AMY: Please put those down. SHELDON PUTS HOT DOGS ON THE BENCH. SHELDON: I’m just worried, that if I don’t schedule our bedroom endeavors, then I may not think about them. And, you’ll grow cold and distant, and seek solace in the arms of a heavily muscled longshoreman. AMY: Where would I find a longshoreman? SHELDON: Along the shore, it’s in the name. AMY (resigned) : Sheldon, I could never be with anybody but you. SHELDON: That’s good to know. I wouldn’t want to fight a man, who’s brave enough to touch a fish. AMY: How’s this for a compromise? Make all the schedules you want, just don’t tell me about them. SHELDON: Excellent. I’ll create an algorithm, that will create a pseudorandom schedule. Eh, do you know why it won’t be a true random schedule. AMY: Because the generation of true random numbers remains an unsolved problem in computer science. SHELDON: Come with me. AMY: Where are we going? SHELDON: To the hotel room. And when we get there, I’m going to need you to say that again, except naked. AMY GASPS. THEY WALK OFF. (2 BEATS), SHELDON RUNS BACK ON, PICKS UP HOT DOGS AND THROWS THEM IN THE TRASH CAN. THEN RUNS BACK OFF. FADEOUT END ACT 2 TAG/SCENE S ATOM CUT TO RAJ’S CAR (Raj) [SFX] PHONE RINGING, RAJ ANSWERS IT THROUGH THE CAR SYSTEM. RAJ: Go for doctor K. UNKNOWN VOICE ON PHONE; Is this Rajesh Koothrapolli RAJ: Yes, who is this? CUT TO NEIL deGRASSE TYSON’S OFFICE. (Neil) NEIL: Neil deGrasse Tyson. RESET TO RAJ’S CAR. RAJ, HAS “OH, OH” LOOK ON HIS FACE. RAJ: Uh, bub, wow, (nervous laugh) How fun is this twitter thing, huh? RESET TO NEIL deGRASSE TYSON’S OFFICE NEIL (irritated) You think your funny? RESET TO RAJ’S CAR. RAJ: I……I’m……I…I’m not Seinfeld funny. But, I did an open mic night once…… RESET TO NEIL deGRASSE TYSON’S OFFICE NEIL: You’re not funny. RESET TO RAJ’S CAR. RAJ: Yeah, that’s what they said at The Chuckle Hut. NEIL (over phone): How about this…… RESET TO NEIL deGRASSE TYSON’S OFFICE NEIL: …… I’ve got a book signing, at Vroman’s*, in Pasadena next week, why don’t you by and say some of those things to my face. RESET TO RAJ’S CAR. RAJ (nervous laugh): Ohhhhhhh, no, but thanks for the invite. RESET TO NEIL deGRASSE TYSON’S OFFICE NEIL: Smart move, and the next time you pick up your phone, remember, I’m the guy who kicked Pluto out of the solar system. RESET TO RAJ’S CAR. RAJ: And, it deserved it sir. Thank you, bye bye. RAJ DISCONNECTS. RESET TO NEIL deGRASSE TYSON’S OFFICE NEIL: Whoa, that was fun. NEIL DISCONNECTS LOOKING THROUGH HIS CONTACT LIST NEIL: Let’s see who else needs a deGrasse kicking. NEIL PUSHES ANOTHER NUMBER. CUT TO BILL NYE’S OFFICE. (Bill) BILL: Bill Nye, science guy. RESET TO NEIL deGRASSE TYSON’S OFFICE NEIL: Hey Bill, Neil Tyson. We’ve got to talk. CUT TO BILL NYE’S OFFICE BILL LOOKS SCARED, SLAMS PHONE DOWN TO DISCONNECT. END TAG CUT TO RUN END CREDITS END * Yes, Vroman’s is the correct spelling.
  8. Acts, scenes. Bolded, all caps. Center justified Eg: COLD OPEN or ACT 1, or SCENE A Cuts. All caps, underlined. Center justified Eg: CUT TO Atom cut is a cut using the animated atoms Eg: ATOM CUT Resests are cut lines that go back to a previous location in the scene Eg: RESET TO Cuts are action lines. Action Lines, All caps, underlined, center justified. Eg: AMY ANSWERS PHONE, LEONARD ENTERS, ETC Effects will also appear as action lines. Eg: [SFX] PHONE RINGS, [VFX] EYES TURN GREEN [SFX] Sound effects [VFX] Visual Effects [VO] Voice over, sound from another room such as on phone. Locations. All caps Center justified. All are interior, Eg: APARTMENT 4B unless specifically mentioned (eg in car, outside) Actors in scene. In parentheses, correct caps, center justified Eg: (Sheldon and Leonard) Usually below the location The rest should be dialogue. All dialogue is Left Justified, has the character name in all caps, a colon, then the dialogue. Occasionally, there will be instructions for the actor, between the character name and the colon Eg PENNY(sarcastically): Oh, yeah, I believe you. If you see something you don't understand, please contact me and I'll add it to this, if I can. The discussion for the season 12 transcripts can be found in the main season 12 forum, under the topic Transcript Discussion.
  9. This is the discussion thread for the season 12 transcripts. I had originally planned to finished season 11 first, then move on to season 12. I changed my mind. I will be doing the first five of season 12, and then alternating between season 11 and season 12, until I finish them. I will then move on to other seasons. I may not do them in chronological order, for instance, I'm interested in seasons four through six, so I may do those first. I'll see how it goes and how it strikes me. I'm working on 1201, right now, so within three or four days of this post (25 November, 2020), you should see the first transcript for season 12. If you have any questions or comments, by all means, leave them in this thread.
  10. The transcript for the fifth episode of Season 11, 1105 The Collaboration Contamination, is now up in the Season 11 Transcript Sub-forum.
  11. The Collaboration Contamination Season 11 Episode 05 Teleplay by Story by Dave Goetsch Steve Molaro & & Maria Ferrari Steve Holland & & Jeremy Howe Eric Kaplan COLD OPEN SCENE A ATOM CUT TO Apartment 4A (Leonard, Penny, Sheldon, Amy, Raj, Howard, Bernadette) ALL SITTING AROUND LIVING ROOM COFFEE TABLE, EATING, BERNADETTE WALKS IN FROM HALLWAY. BERNADETTE: Thanks for letting me put Halley in your room. LEONARD: Sure, no problem. BERNADETTE STOPS BY PENNY’S CHAIR. BERNADETTE: Er, and Penny she kinda threw up on your stuffed bear. BERNADETTE CONTINUES TO COUCH, SITS. PENNY: Oh, that’s okay. LEONARD: Hey, hey, that’s an Ewok, and it’s mine PENNY(smiling): Which is why it’s okay. SHELDON: See, he gets Ewoks in his bed. AMY: You got Chewbacca, that’s enough. RAJ: I used to have the stuffed raccoon, from Gardians of the Galaxy, but Cinnamon licked it raw. HOWARD: There’s a time and place for your randy dog stories, and it’s never and nowhere. PENNY: Yeah, no more stories about sex, so Amy, that brings us to you. AMY: Well, at work we’ve be doing some interesting research with neuroprosthetics. PENNY: Neat, I’ve been rewatching the OC, so we’re all leading productive lives. AMY: We’ve been working on a computer interface, that can use brainwave patterns to control robotic limbs. But, we’re have a little trouble localizing the signal from the EEG cap. HOWARD: Welp, have you thought about a phased array of sensors, for better localization? AMY: Actually, that never occurred to me. PENNY: It never occurred to me, I would miss the Ewok, conversation. LEONARD: Good, cause I just bought another one on Amazon. AMY: You know, I could use an engineer on this project. SHELDON: Well this works out great, Howard’s an engineer. I’m sure he knows someone who’s qualified. HOWARD: She’s talking about me, Sheldon. I’m perfectly qualified. BERNADETTE: Yeah, Howie’s the world’s best engineer, it says so right on his coffee mug. PENNY: Awwwwww, you got him a mug? RAJ: I did. But it’s not a competition. BERNADETTE: Yeah, I lost that battle years ago. AMY: So, Howard, are you interested? HOWARD: Are you kidding? If I could control robot arms, with my brain, I be able to do so many things. SHELDON: Really? Because you’ve been controlling human arms through your brain for years, and not much has come of it. CUT TO OPENING TITLES ACT 1 ATOM CUT TO SCENE B APARTMENT 4A (Leonard Penny) PENNY SITTING AT ISLAND DRINKING COFFEE AND READING. LEONARD ENTERS FROM HALLWAY STANDS NEAR PENNY. LEONARD: Hey, whatcha reading? PENNY: A parenting book LEONARD: Oh, my god, are……are we…… PENNY: What? Nooooooooo. You think this is how I would tell you? LEONARD: Well, yo……yo……your sitting there with a book, it felt like anything was possible. I don’t know… LEONARD GETS A CUP, WALKS TO ISLAND PENNY (miffed): Bernadette left it here. LEONARD: Well, anything interesting? LEONARD POURS COFFEE PENNY: Well, I just saw a picture of a baby’s head crowning, so I hope you enjoyed sex, because we’re done with that. SHELDON ENTERS THROUGH FRONT DOOR. LEONARD CONTINUES TO POUR COFFEE SHELDON: Hello LEONARD: Hey Sheldon, what’s up? PENNY: Hey. SHELDON WALKS TO ISLAND. SHELDON: Eh, remember how disappointed you were, when Amy started driving me to work? LEONARD: Sure, sometimes people smile a big smile of disappointment. SHELDON: Yeah, well good news, Amy had to go in early to show Howard around her lab. So, you get to drive me. LEONARD’S FACE CHANGES TO DISAPPOINTMENT. PENNY: Awwwww, his smile of disappointment has turned into a frown of joy. LEONARD: It’s fine, I’ve been driving him for years, what’s one more day. SHELDON: And, a new car game we can play, it’s called what siren am I? LEONARD: Kill me. ATOM CUT TO SCENE C AMY’S LAB (Amy, Howard) BOTH ARE GOING THROUGH THE LAB, LOOKING AT THE EQUIPMENT. HOWARD: Amy, your lab is amazing. A CR fluoroscope, a cranial ultrasound, ohhhhhh, and look at that coffee maker. AMY: I know, on our expense report, I listed it as “Edwardo”, my Columbian Lab assistant. BOTH WALK OVER TO THE SKULL CAP. HOWARD: So, this is it. HOWARD TAKES THE SKULL CAP OFF OF IT’S STAND. AMY: Yes. We are using it to map brain wave patterns, and then converting them to electrical impulses, that can be used to control anything, from wheelchairs to robots HOWARD: Based on that ring on your finger, I’d say you’re pretty good at controlling robots. AMY: Careful, that’s my fiancé you’re talking about. (beat) And I can program him to hurt you. ATOM CUT TO SCENE D LEONARD’S CAR (Leonard, Sheldon) LEONARD DRIVING, SHELDON MAKING A SIREN NOISE. LEONARD: I don’t know, a…a…a French police? SHELDON: Oh, so close, Belgian Ambulance. LEONARD MAKES FACE, SHAKES HEAD. SHELDON: All right, you ready for your next one? Just a warning, this one is a little annoying. SHELDON STARTS MAKING A SIREN SOUND LEONARD: eh…eh…eh… let’s take a little……little break, I’m getting a headache. SHELDON (disappointed): Ohhhhhh, right in the middle of our fun game. LEONARD: Yeah, weird. So, Howard and Amy working together, that’s interesting, huh? SHELDON: Eh, it’s all right, I suppose. Look, when usually when Amy complains about her coworkers, I just tune her out, but now, I’ll be able to join in, and pound away. LEONARD: You’re not jealous, of Howard, are you? SHELDON: Of course not. The only engineer I’m jealous of, is the one who blows the train whistle. Ooooooo, that a just gave me an idea for a new game. What whistle am I? LEONARD: Train. SHELDON: For your information, it was going to be teakettle. But, the teakettle was on a train, so I’ll give it to you. ATOM CUT TO SCENE E AMY’S LAB (Howard, Amy) BOTH SITTING AT A LAB TABLE, HOWARD ON A COMPUTER, AMY WRITING ON PIECE OF PAPER. HOWARD: If we add phase detection to your EEG sensors, I’ll have to rewrite most of the code. AMY: Can you do that? HOWARD: Well, these hands were made to do three things, close up magic, writing code, and the dirty shadow puppet show that got me kicked out of Hebrew school. SHELDON ENTERS LAB. SHELDON: Hello. AMY TURNS AND WALKS TWO STEPS TOWARD SHELDON, AMY (smiling): Hi, what a nice surprise. SHELDON: I just came by to see how you two were getting along. AMY: Well, everything is going really great. SHELDON: Awwwwww, that’s nice to hear. SHELDON BLINKING HIS EYES SHELDON: I was hoping you two would enjoy working together. SHELDON STOPS BLINKING, AND NODS AMY: What’s with the blinking. SHELDON: It’s Morse code. So we can talk about…… SHELDON MAKES A FACE AND NODS TOWARD HOWARD. SHELDON: Without hurting…… SHELDON MAKES A FACE AND NODS TOWARD HOWARD. SHELDON: ……feelings. AMY: Sheldon, I don’t know Morse code. HOWARD: I do, and if you have something to say, you can say it to my face. SHELDON: Oh. (beat) All right. SHELDON STARTS BLINKING HIS EYES, FINALLY STOPS HOWARD: I’m a little rusty, can you say that again? SHELDON STARTS BLINKING HIS EYES ATOM CUT TO SCENE F APARTMENT 4A (Penny) PENNY ON COUCH, READING. LEONARD ENTERS, PUTS KEYS IN BOWL, FOLLOWED BY SHELDON ENTERING. SHELDON: She’s going to be home at eightish, wh……what is that? 8:01? 8:02? LEONARD PUTS HIS BAG ON HIS COMPUTER CHAIR. SHELDON: What kind of scientist uses -ish? LEONARD: I’ll give it a go, my ride home with you was hellish. LEONARD WALKS OVER TO THE FRIDGE, PENNY STOPS READING PENNY: Sheldon, honey, if you want to join us for dinner, you’re more than welcome. SHELDON: Oh, thank you,I don’t think I’d be very good company tonight. LEONARD: Well, then out you go. LEONARD WAVE HIS HAND AT SHELDON. PENNY: Okay, what is going on? SHELDON: Ever since Amy started working with Howard, she hasn’t been home. PENNY: Didn’t that just start this morning? SHELDON: And has she been home? PENNY: You know, that would frustrate me. PENNY STANDS AND WALKS TO SHELDON. PENNY: Does it frustrate you? SHELDON: It does. PENNY: I get that. You know, it’s okay to feel frustrated, when things aren’t going your way. SHELDON: I suppose. Ahhhh, maybe it’s not that big of deal. LEONARD LOOKS OVER, PUZZLED, CURIOUS. PENNY: No, no, no, your feelings are valid. Now, why don’t you go wash up, and, we’ll call you when dinner’s ready. SHELDON LOOKS AT PENNY, LEONARD LOOKS AT PENNY IN CONFUSION. SHELDON: Okay. SHELDON LEAVES, PENNY CLOSES THE DOOR. LEONARD: What did you do…are you a witch? PENNY: Well, I’ve been reading Bernadette’s parenting book. It’s like the answer key, to the Sheldon test. LEONARD: That’s amazing. PENNY: Yeah, I know, but it’s only birth to five, what do we do when he turns six? LEONARD: Take him to the zoo and leave him there. ATOM CUT TO SCENE G WOLOWITZ KITCHEN (Bernadette) BERNADETTE AT KITCHEN TABLE, TYPING ON COMPUTER, RAJ ENTERS. RAJ: Hey Bernadette. BERNADETTE: Hey Raj. Howard’s not here. RAJ: I know. He’s been at the lab every night this week, with his work wife. BERNADETTE: That’s weird, I thought his work wife was standing in my kitchen. RAJ: Don’t be snippy, I came to see how your were doing. Like, do you need help with anything? BERNADETTE: Thank you. There are a few things around the house that I've been waiting for Howard to get to. The smoke alarms really need… RAJ: No, I mean emotionally. How are you feeling? BERNADETTE: Like you’re not really here to help me. RAJ: Wow, still snippy. BERNADETTE: Everything’s fine. Howard’s really excited about his work, he’s been in a great mood. I’m really proud of him. BERNADETTE CLOSES COMPUTER, STANDS, GOES TO COFFEE MAKER. RAJ: And I can still fit into the pants I wore in high school. Come on, we don’t have to lie to each other. BERNADETTE: You’re right, I have a teething baby, I’m pregnant, I have a proposal due tomorrow, I don’t have time to hear about how much you’re missing my husband. RAJ: Well, I think I know why he’s been working so late. ATOM CUT TO SCENE H APARTMENT 4B (Sheldon) SHELDON SITTING ON THE COUCH, LOOKING AT A BOOK, AMY ENTERS, DROPS KEYS IN BOWL. AMY: Hi SHELDON CLOSES BOOK, SHELDON: Welcome home. How was work? AMY PUTS PURSE ON SIDEBOARD. AMY: Great, Howard had an idea…… SHELDON: That’s enough about work. Now, you just got here, you need to sit down…… SHELDON PATS COUCH NEXT TO HIM. SHELDON: …… and let me pamper you. AMY (laughs): Well, that sounds nice. AMY WALKS TO COUCH, SITS. SHELDON: I got you a little something, to help you relax. SHELDON HANDS AMY A SMALL BAG. AMY(smiling): Sheldon, that is the sweetest mos…… AMY OPENS BAG, PULLS OUT A NOTEBOOK. SMILE TURNS TO PUZZLEMENT AMY:…… wha… what is this? SHELDON: The notes from our quantum cognition project. I thought we could spend the evening, grinding away on it. AMY: I just got home, I’m tired…… SHELDON: Of Howard, I know. So, how about you and me make some beautiful science together? AMY: Sheldon, I want to work on this with you, just not tonight. What if we get up early, and do it in the morning. I promise, I’ll be way more into it. SHELDON: You know what? There was a time that you would have been happy to stay up and collaborate, all night with me. And then wake up in the morning and do it some more. AMY (sighs): Fine, but can we make it quick? SHELDON: No, if you’re going to make me do all the work, then go to bed. But, don’t be surprised if you walk out here and catch me doing it myself. FADEOUT END ACT 1 ACT 2 ATOM CUT TO SCENE J APARTMENT 4A (Penny) PENNY POURNING A CUP OF COFFEE. LEONARD ENTERS FROM HALLWAY, LOOKING AT HIS PHONE, WALKS OVER TO PENNY BY ISLAND. LEONARD: Sheldon’s texting me to drive him to Bernadette’s. PENNY: What are you going to say? LEONARD: Well, they did just introduce the middle finger emoji, if it’s not for this, I don’t know what it’s for. PENNY: No, no, no, he’ll just thing that means, be there in a minute. PENNY WALKS OVER TO COFFEE TABLE, PICKS UP BOOK. FLIPS THROUGH IT PENNY: Maybe there’s something in the book that will help. LEONARD: It’s worth a shot PENNY: Okay, let’s see, let’s see. Biting other children? LEONARD: Mmmm, sometimes, but problem for another day PENNY: Wait, wait, wait, here we go, let him have ownership of his choices, allow him to choose from options that are acceptable to you. LEONARD: I don’t know, I’ll give it a try…… LEONARD STARTS TEXTING SHELDON LEONARD: …… I can drive you in two hours, or you can take an Uber. PENNY: Good, now he feels like he has a choice. [SFX] MESSAGE RECIEVED ON LEONARD’S PHONE. LEONARD: He’s going to take an Uber PENNY: Wow, it worked. LEONARD: Unless he bites the driver, yeah. LEONARD TAKES BOOK FROM PENNY, LOOKS AT THE BACK ATOM CUT TO SCENE K WOLOWITZ KITCHEN (Sheldon, Bernadette) BOTH SITTING AT TABLE, SHELDON DRINKING TEA, BERNADETTE WORKING ON COMPUTER. SHELDON: And, now they’re working on a Saturday? Can you believe them? Is this how you envisioned your weekend? BERNADETTE(frustrated): No, it is not. SHELDON: This whole thing is maddening. BERNADETTE: I’m really busy. I don’t have time to listen to you complain. SHELDON: Hey, you’re complaining too. Sheldon, why are you here? Sheldon, the apple sauce is for the baby. BERNADETTE: What do you want? SHELDON: I just wish I could make Howard feel as angry as I’m feeling. BERNADETTE CLOSES THE COMPUTER. BERNADETTE: Well, maybe you could do something he likes, and make him jealous. SHELDON: Like what? BERNADETTE: Have you ever read Tom Sawyer? SHELDON: No. BERNADETTE: Chores, he likes chores. SHELDON: Oooooooo, what kind of chores? BERNADETTE: Well, you could change the batteries in the smoke detectors. That would drive him crazy. SHELDON: That’s great. Oh, he’ll be so mad, smoke will be coming out of his ears. An, an, and, the smoke detectors will detect it. Well, now, hold on. Why did you ask me about Tom Sawyer? BERNADETTE: I’m just interested in you. SHELDON: Well, you are sweeter than your applesauce. ATOM CUT TO SCENE L AMY’S LAB (Amy, Howard) HOWARD LOOKING AT DATA ON THE COMPUTER, AMY WALKS TO TABLE WITH NOTEBOOK. HOWARD: Okay, I’m going to extend the wait time and have them pull the A to D converter at the top of the loop, instead of the bottom. AMY: That’s impressive. HOWARD: You think that’s impressive, take apart that brain model. AMY SEPARATES THE PIECES OF THE MODEL, FINDS A THREE OF CLUBS PLAYING CARD. AMY: Oh my God, three of clubs, that was my card. HOWARD: I used to make it appear in my pants, but HR said I had to stop doing that. AMY PUTS MODEL BACK TOGETHER, PUTS IT ON IT’S STAND. AMY: So, how much longer until we can test it. HOWARD: Well, it needs to compile, so it’s going to be a few minutes. AMY: Sounds like we’re earned ourselves a break. HOWARD: You want to hear some Neil Sadaka? AMY: You know, that’s your greatest magic trick, because you just read my mind. HOWARD PUSHING ONE OF TH KEYS, NEIL SADAKA SINGS CALENDAR GIRL. BOTH CONTINUE WRITING, BUT START MOVING THEIR SHOULDERS, AND SINGING ALONG. THEY STAND, AND START DANCING, STILL SINGING. RAJ ENTERS. RAJ: Well, well, well…… AMY TURNS OFF MUSIC. AMY: Hi. HOWARD: Hey. RAJ: You say your busy as bees, yet here you are, dancing. Although I suppose, bees do dance, but their dance, lets other bees know where the pollen is, and yours does not. So, my logic, despite that slight detour, does track. HOWARD: I’m just waiting for my code to compile. What are you doing here? RAJ: I stopped by to see if you wanted to go to the movies with me. HOWARD: I’d love to, but we’re just about to test the interface, it could take a while. RAJ: Okay, buddy, it’s not my place, but Bernadette’s been feeling a little abandoned, with all the hours you’ve been putting in. AMY: You just asked him to go to the movies. RAJ: Yeah, but our weird relationship was grandfathered into their marriage, and yours was not. ATOM CUT TO SCENE M WOLOWITZ KITCHEN (Bernadette) SITTING AT KITCHEN TABLE, WITH HER FEET UP, EATING ICECREAM SHELDON ENTERS SHELDON: Okay, I put new batteries in the smoke detectors. BERNADETTE: Did you do the laundry? SHELDON: I sure did. Oooooo, he’s gonna be steamed, just like his dress shirts BERNADETTE: At least he can still clean the ovens. So, that’s something. SHELDON: Woah, that’s what he things, where’s your steel wool. BERNADETTE HOLDS UP A PAD OF STEEL WOOL. BERNADETTE: Right here. SHELDON: We make quite the team. BERNADETTE: Sure do. BERNADETTE CONTINUES EATING ICECREAM, SHELDON GOES AND LOOKS UNDER THE SINK, RAJ ENTERS. RAJ: Guys, you won’t believe this, I stop by the university to check in on Howard and Amy, and they were having fun. SHELDON: Well, don’t worry, he won’t be having any fun when he gets home…… SHELDON HOLDS UP THE STEEL WOOL, AND GLOVES SHELDON: ……I did all his favorite chores. RAJ: What are you talking about, Howard hates doing chores. SHELDON: Why would Bernadette tell me…… Bernadette. SHELDON STOPS, WALKS TO BERNADETTE, BERNADETTE LOOKS CAUGHT. SHELDON:…… Did you play on my well established gullibility, to clean your house? BERNADETTE GOES BACK TO EATING THE ICE CREAM. BERNADETTE: Sure did. SHELDON: Well, I would storm out of here, but I already have the gloves and the steel wool and I really do love cleaning an oven…… SHELDON PUSHES RAJ OUT OF THE WAY. SHELDON: Move. SHELDON OPENS OVEN DOOR. ATOM CUT TO SCENE N APARTMENT 4A AT ISLAND (Leonard, Penny, Sheldon) ALL THREE AROUND THE ISLAND, SHELDON DRINKING TEA. SHELDON: She made me do all her chores, and it wasn’t even her idea, she stole it, from Tom Sawyer. LEONARD: You know what? This is crazy. Howard and Amy are working together, get over it. PENNY: Leonard, what are you doing? LEONARD TURNS TO PENNY LEONARD: Knowing when to say when…… LEONARD TURNS BACK TO SHELDON LEONARD: …… This is not a big deal. SHELDON: It is a big deal. Howard’s getting Amy used to laughing and listening to music. What if she expects that madness at home? PENNY: You know, that is a good point. I’m really proud of the way that you express your feelings. SHELDON: Thank you, I’m just so angry. PENNY: You know, everyone gets angry. Even mommies and daddies. LEONARD: You can’t think this is the right time to validate his behavior. PENNY PULLS LEONARD SEVERAL STEPS AWAY FROM SHELDON PENNY: Okay, what about presenting a united front. LEONARD: What about you coddling him, and he’s never gonna learn. PENNY: Look, you sound frustrated, and I’m really proud of the way you’re able to state your opinion. LEONARD: Thank you. (beat) (angry) What, no, no. Don’t use that book on me. SHELDON: Wai, wai, what book? LEONARD: Penny’s been using one of Bernadette’s parenting books on you. PENNY: What? So has he. SHELDON: What makes you think you can treat me like a child. LEONARD PENNY GIVE SHELDON A WTF STARE(2 beats) LEONARD: Your shampoo comes in a Big Bird bottle. SHELDON: That’s because the adult shampoo burns my man eyes. SHELDON STARTS WALKING TOWARD THE DOOR. ATOM CUT TO SCENE P WOLOWITZ KITCHEN (Bernadette) BERNADETTE AT TABLE, WORKING, COMPUTER OPEN. RAJ ENTERS. RAJ: Hey, what are you working on? BERNADETTE (frustrated): Oh, my God, you’re still here? RAJ: Of course I’m here, I know what you’re going through. BERNADETTE (sarcastic): Really? You have a needy Indian man in your house? RAJ: I did, but then he came over here. RAJ WALKS TO TABLE, SITS IN CHAIR ATOM CUT TO SCENE Q APARTMENT 4A (Penny, Leonard) PENNY AND LEONARD ENTER FROM HALLWAY PENNY (angrily): So, is this how it’s gonna be if we have kids? You’re just going to throw me under the bus? LEONARD GOES TO FRIDGE, OPEN IT. PENNY FOLLOWS LEONARD: If you spoil them, the way you do Sheldon, then yeah. PENNY: Uh, my way was working, okay? I think you’re just upset because there are some things I’m better than you at. LEONARD: Well, you can’t end a sentence with a preposition, so, clearly, not grammar. LEONARD GET’S BOTTLE OF WATER. PENNY: If you’re so smart, was that a smart thing to say? LEONARD: That depends, before I said it, was sex tonight still on the table? PENNY (angry): NO! LEONARD: Then that’s fine. LEONARD CLOSES DOOR TO FRIDGE, WALKS AWAY. PENNY LOOKS ANGRY. ZOOM CUT TO SCENE R AMY’S LAB (Amy, Howard) BOTH SITTING AT WORKBENCH, LOOKING AT COMPUTER. HOWARD: You know, once we get this operational, we can probably figure out how to make it wireless. AMY: That’ll be amazing. [SFX] TONE FROM AMY’S PHONE AMY: Oh, that’s Sheldon. Oh, he’s upset with Leonard and Penny. [SFX] TONE FROM AMY’S PHONE AMY: And Bernadette. [SFX] TONE FROM AMY’S PHONE AMY: And Mark Twain. HOWARD: Yeah, Bernadette texted earlier, Raj is really getting on her nerves. AMY: I guess we have been working late a lot. (Amy sighs) Should we call it a night, and go home? AMY STANDS HOWARD: Or, we could brew a pot of coffee, and power through. AMY: I don’t know, it’s getting kinda late AMY LOOKS AT HER WRIST FOR HER WATCH, IT’S NOT THERE. AMY: Hey, where’s my watch? HOWARD: Why don’t you ask your skeleton? AMY LOOKS AT HOWARD STRANGELY, THEN LOOKS AT SKELETON. WATCH IN ON THE SKELETON’S LEFT WRIST. AMY IS AMAZED AND SPEECHLESS. HOWARD LEANS BACK WITH A SMUG EXPRESSION. AMY (excitedly): Oh my God, how’s that even possible? HOWARD RAISES HIS ARMS, AND SHRUGS FADEOUT END OF ACT 2 TAG ATOM CUT TO SCENE S APARTMENT 4B (Sheldon, Raj) SHELDON SITTING ON THE COUCH, RAJ WALKS OVER SITS DOWN, WITH POPCORN. RAJ: This is great, the two of us hanging out. Why didn’t we think of this earlier? SHELDON: Agreed. I don’t need Amy to watch a movie. I can not hold your hand just as easily. SHELDON PICKES UP REMOTE, TURNS ON THE MOVIE SOUNDS OF THE MOVIE SHELDON: In the book, this is based on, that man’s, the killer. RAJ, IS SHOCKED, TURNS TO GIVE SHELDON A DIRTY LOOK. BLACKOUT END OF TAG RUN END CREDITS END OF SHOW
  12. Here's a nice article on Kaley's work, post Big Bang.
  13. That is not Marla Gibbs. Her name is Vernee Watson. (there are various spellings, including hyphenating the last name of Johnson, when she was married). She was also a nurse in the hospital when Sheldon's barber, Tony D'nofrio, was in the hospital (0518 The Werewolf Transformation) and was the nurse at the Hospital when Howard ate the candy bar that had Peanuts in it, on Leonard's birthday (0116. The Peanut Reaction). She was also in the unaired Pilot. Vernee goes all the way back to 1993-94 with Chuck Lorre. She is currently in the main cast for Lorre's Bob Hearts Abishola. Her first appearance in one of Lorre's shows, was in Grace Under Fire (Bernadette's dad, played by Casey Sander, was second billed in that show and was in all 112 shows). Besides the two Big Bang related shows, she has also appeared in Lorre's Two and A Half Men, Mike and Molly, and Dharma and Gregg. She currently has almost 180 acting credits, going back to 1970.
  14. The transcript for the fourth episode of Season 11, 1104 The Explosion Implosion, is now up in the Season 11 Transcript Sub-forum.
  15. In season 11 (1116 The Neonatal Nomenclature) both Amy and Leonard wanted Elliot, for the boys name. I think that is where Amy's comment (You're lucky I let you name him Leonard) comes from. So, if it's a boy, I would think it would be Elliot, since Penny was pregnant first. As for another boys name, or girl names, I have some ideas, but I'm holding back on those, simply because I will be using them in my current fan fic, with Penny pregnant. And don't want to give anything away, just yet, as I haven't disclosed the sex yet. And for those reading and wondering, you have a ways to go yet. I haven't decided on if they will decide to . I just finished the first draft of chapter 40, and they still don't know the sex. MUHAHAHAHAHAH
  16. The Explosion Implosion Season 11 Episode 04 Teleplay by Story by Steve Holland Bill Prady & & Eric Kaplan Maria Ferrari & & Jeremy Howe Tara Hernandez COLD OPEN SCENE A ATOM CUT TO DOCTOR’S OFFICE (Howard, Bernadette) BERNADETTE SITTING ON EXAM TABLE, HOWARD PACING. HOWARD: It feels like it wasn’t that long ago, that we were here, doing this for Halley. BERNADETTE: Cause it wasn’t. (beat) Which reminds me, before we leave, lets get you a vasectomy. HOWARD: Ohhhh, that’s sweet, but today is all about you. HOWARD LOVINGLY TAPS BERNADETTE ON HER SHOULDER DR SAMUELS ENTERS DR SAMUELS: So, are you two ready to find out the sex of this baby? HOWARD: Yeah BERNADETTE: Absolutely DR SAMUELS WALKS OVER TO COUNTER DR SAMUELS: Is Halley hoping for a little brother or a little sister. BERNADETTE: Well, she’s nine months old, so unless it jingles or is in my bra, she doesn’t care. DR SAMUELS PUTS JEL ON BERNADETTES BELLY FOR ULTRASOUND DR SAMUELS: And, how about you two? HOWARD: You know, for the first one we really wanted a girl, but this time around, we don’t have a preference. DR SAMUELS STARTS MOVING THE WAND OVER BERNIE’S BELLY BABY’S HEARTBEAT CAN BE HEARD BERNADETTE: Yeah, boy, girl, as long as it’s healthy. DR SAMUELS: Well, it’s a boy. HOWARD AND BERNIE BOTH LOOK DISAPPOINTED BERNADETTE, HOWARD (disappointed) (together): Ohhh. ZOOM CUT TO SCENE B APARTMENT 4A (Sheldon, Amy, Leonard, Penny, Raj, Howard, Bernadette) ALL EATING RAJ: C…come on, you can’t really be disappointed. HOWARD: Hey, I barely know how to be a man myself, now I have to teach someone? SHELDON: As the saying goes, those who can’t do, teach. AMY: Don’t you want a little version of Howard? BERNADETTE: I already have a little version of Howard. HOWARD: And now I’m having a son? I’ll have to teach him how to play sports, and…and watch sports an…and…an…an…and…and… RAJ: He just ran out of man things, he’s in trouble. LEONARD: It’s okay, we’re all here to help. SHELDON: Yes, and this baby will have plenty of manly role models. I’m certain that whatever Bernadette can’t teach him, Penny can. LEONARD: She can pee into a bottle. PENNY: Anything with a neck, wider than a nickle. PENNY MAKES A NICKLE SIZE HOLE WITH HER HAND, AND HOLDS IT UP TO HER EYE. BERNADETTE: Howie, there’s a lot of amazing things you can teach a son. RAJ: Yeah, you do ALWAYS know how to pick just the right antacid. HOWARD: I don’t know if I can teach that, it’s just something I was born with. LEONARD: Come on, you can build things… you were an astronaut. HOWARD: That’s true, you know, as I kid, I used to make model rockets. That’d be pretty cool to do with a son. SHELDON: Model rockets, finally, something interesting. What is your preferred mode of recovery? AMY: Sheldon, we’re helping our friends. SHELDON: And we got to model rockets. It was a tedious road, but well worth the effort. AMY: So, have you thought of any names? SHELDON: Amy, we finally got to model rockets, why are you turning back? CUT TO OPENING TITLES ACT 1 ATOM CUT TO SCENE C APARTMENT 4A (Leonard Penny) PENNY ON COUCH, LEONARD COMING FROM HALLWAY, CARRYING A STAR TREK UNIFORM. PENNY: Hey, where are your going? LEONARD: Back to the dry cleaner. Look at this. LEONARD STOPS AND SHOWS PENNY HIS UNIFORM LEONARD: They didn’t get the stain out of my Star Fleet uniform. PENNY: Well, if you didn’t make me wear the green body paint, in bed, you wouldn’t have to get it dry cleaned so much. LEONARD: Nah, it’s worth it. [SFX]: RINGTONE ON COMPUTER. PENNY LOOKS PENNY: Hey, wait, it’s your mom. LEONARD RUSHES TO THE DOOR. LEONARD: Oh well. Too bad, she just missed me. LEONARD EXITS, CLOSES DOOR. PENNY ANSWERS CALL PENNY: Hey Beverley. BEVERLEY: Oh, hello, Penny. PENNY: Leonard just left, he’s going to be so upset he missed your call. BEVERLEY (deadpan): Why? PENNY: Because he… (beat)… yeah, I don’t know. How are you? BEVERLEY (deadpan): Did you mean personally, or professionally. PENNY: Ummmmm, personally. Like what did you do last night? BEVERLEY (deadpan): I had Cuban food, at the home of a man with whom I shared unsatisfying intercourse. PENNY (looking shocked): (beat) Wow. (beat) Okay. BEVERLEY (deadpan): And to anticipate your next questions, roasted pork, and sideways missionary. PENNY (in disbelief): Sure… sure… cause you were full. ATOM CUT TO SCENE D WOLOWITZ GARAGE (Sheldon, Howard, Raj) ALL THREE GOING THROUGH CONTAINERS OF MODEL ROCKET PARTS AND KITS. HOWARD: I haven’t looked at all this stuff in years. SHELDON POINTS TO INDIVIDUAL ROCKET AS HE SAYS: SHELDON: Had it……had it……burnt down my garage with it. RAJ: I had three model rockets as a kid, and I was the largest space program in India. SHELDON PICKS UP A LARGE KIT. SHELDON: You have a replica Saturn V? HOWARD: Yeah, my dad bought it before he……you know, abandoned our family. SHELDON: Lucky duck. HOWARD: I could never bring myself to open it without him. Silly. SHELDON: No, it’s not silly. I always wanted my dad to build rockets with me, but he wasn’t interested. RAJ: Ahhhhh, yes, disappointing fathers. Tell me about it. I remember for my sixteenth birthday, my dad bought me a Mercedes. Like, a little one, like a starter Mercedes. He barely handed me the keys, before he had to rush back to work. I didn’t see again until, pretty late that night. HOWARD: Anyway… as angry as I was, with him leaving, building this stuff is probably what led me to become an engineer. SHELDON: I suppose, in his own way, my dad also encouraged me to pursue science. I mean he is the one that taught me flatulence is combustible. And, also, polyester gym shorts, don’t burn. They melt. RAJ: Yeah, I guess I’m an astrophysicist because, as a kid, I said I like to look at the stars, so my dad sent me to Hawaii, to visit the Keck telescope. SHELDON AND HOWARD LOOK AT RAJ IN DISBELIEF. RAJ (looking hurt): Screw you, my pain is real. RAJ WALKS AWAY. HOWARD: You know what, forget the past. What do you say, you and me, build this rocket. SHELDON: That sound’s like it could be a real bonding experience, for us. HOWARD: Right? SHELDON: Oh, I see…oh you think that’s a positive ATOM CUT TO SCENE E WOLOWITZ LIVING ROOM (Bernadette, Raj). RAJ IN CHAIR, BERNADETTE SITTING ON COUCH GOING THROUGH BABY CLOTHES. BERNADETTE: So, you didn’t want to hang out with Sheldon and Howard? RAJ: No, they were bonding over their sad childhoods, and my stupid parents were always there for me. What’s all this? BERNADETTE: I’m just boxing up all the clothes Halley’s outgrown. I guess we won’t need them anymore. RAJ: Whoa, slow down, I’m sure there are some you can reuse, for a boy. BERNADETTE HOLDS UP A TSHIRT, READS PHRASE ON SHIRT BERNADETTE: Daddy’s little girl? RAJ: Okay, well, what if we change it to say, Daddy’s little girl magnet? BOOM, boy shirt. BERNADETTE: What about this. BERNADETTE HOLDS UP A RED TUTU RAJ: Ahhhhh, okay, pull off the skirt, slap a lightning bolt on the front and you’ve got baby Flash. Oooooh, stick a long sleeve under it, BOOM, baby Sheldon. BERNADETTE: Wow, you’re really good at this. RAJ: Ahhhhh, please, this isn’t my first time turning girl clothes into boy clothes. BERNADETTE: Why? You got your sisters hand me downs? RAJ: Yeah, that. ATOM CUT TO SCENE F INSIDE HOWARD’S CAR (Howard, Sheldon) HOWARD DRIVING HOWARD: Oh, I should have brought peanuts. SHELDON: You can’t eat peanuts, you’re allergic. If you die, who’s going to drive me home? HOWARD: I’m not going to eat them, it’s a thing they do at JPL. When the Ranger mission finally had a successful launch, there were peanuts in the room. And, ever since then, they have them at every launch. SHELDON: It sounds like a silly superstition. HOWARD: It’s more of a tradition. SHELDON (excited): Ohhhhhhhhhhh, I do love a tradition. Would you, pull over at the next peanut store. HOWARD: I don’t think that’s a real thing. SHELDON: Oh, don’t be pedantic, any nut store will do. HOWARD: I don’t think we can get peanuts out here. SHELDON: Well, then this whole day is ruined. HOWARD: Now that I think about it, maybe it is more of a superstition. SHELDON: Whew, that was close. ATOM CUT TO SCENE G APARTMENT 4A (Penny) PENNY ENTERS, OEPNS FRIDGE [SFX] TRI-CHIMES FROM PENNY’S PHONE PENNY PULLS PHONE FROM BACK POCKET, ACCEPTS CALL, PENNY ON PHONE PENNY: Oh, hey Beverly, you called my phone, not Leonard. CUT TO BEVERLY’S APARTMENT (Beverly) BEVERLY WALKS TO COUCH, SITS DOWN. BEVERLY: Actually, I was hoping to speak with you, is this a good time? RESET TO APARTMENT 4A PENNY HOLDING A JUICE CONTAINER PENNY: Er, that depends, what time is it where you are? RESET TO BEVERLY’S APARTMENT, BEVERLY LOOKS AT WATCH BEVERLY: Just after five. RESET TO APARTMENT 4A PENNY PUTS JUICE CONTAINER BACK, GET BOTTLE OF WINE. PENNY: Yeah, that a counts, what’s up? RESET TO BEVERLY’S APARTMENT, BEVERLY: Well, I enjoyed our conversation the other day, and I was hoping to continue it. RESET TO APARTMENT 4A PENNY GETS WINE GLASS. PENNY: Really? BEVERLY([SFX] on phone): Yes, you may find this surprising… RESET TO BEVERLY’S APARTMENT, BEVERLY: but I don’t have a lot, of what you would call, girlfriends. RESET TO APARTMENT 4A PENNY(fake surprise): Whaaaaaat? RESET TO BEVERLY’S APARTMENT, BEVERLY:Of course there are my female colleagues, but they’re all Freudians, so the only boy I can dish about is my father. (Beverly laughs) RESET TO APARTMENT 4A PENNY LOOKS AT PHONE, NO LAUGH, OPENS EYES WIDE IN DISBELIEF PENNY: Er, well, you know, I’m here for you, what do you want to talk about? RESET TO BEVERLY’S APARTMENT, BEVERLY: The last time we focused on my life. If we’re going to be real girlfriends, we should talk about you, as well. RESET TO APARTMENT 4A PENNY: Wow, you know, if we’re going to be real girlfriends, we should get a third girl we can trash behind her back. RESET TO BEVERLY’S APARTMENT, BEVERLY: Ohhhhhhh, so we’d be catty. Oh, I like it. What about Sheldon’s fiancé, she seems a bit dour RESET TO APARTMENT 4A PENNY: Oooohhh, dour, meee-ow. ATOM CUT TO SCENE H EXTERIOR, IN WHAT APPEARS TO BE A SMALL SECTION OF DESERT (Sheldon, Howard) BOTH PREPARING TO LAUNCH A MODEL ROCKET. SHELDON HOLDING HIS PHONE TO RECORD. HOWARD: All right, here we go. L minus 10……9 SHELDON: Wait, what are you doing? It’s T minus. HOWARD: I was an astronaut, we used L minus. SHELDON: But, this is a Saturn five. And when they launched those, they said T minus… HOWARD: It’s my rocket, we’re doing it my way. SHELDON: Fine. (2 beats) I’m not saying I know why your dad left, but I think I’m getting an idea. HOWARD: L minus 10……9……8……7……6 SHELDON: Cause your kinda bossy. HOWARD: 5……4……3……2……1…… ROCKET BLOWS UP. SHELDON: I remember them going up higher. FADEOUT END ACT 1 ACT 2 ATOM CUT TO SCENE J EXTERIOR, IN WHAT APPEARS TO BE A SMALL SECTION OF DESERT (Sheldon, Howard) HOWARD, SHELDON LOOKING AT THE DESTROYED ROCKET. HOWARD: Well, that’s perfect. I mean the one thing I thought I could do with my son, I can’t even do that right. SHELDON HOLDS UP HIS PHONE SHELDON: If you want to see it again, I got it on video. SHELDON WALKS OVER TO HOWARD. TRYS TO SHOW HIM RECORDING OF EXPLOSION SHELDON: It’s pretty cool in slow motion. HOWARD: Thank you for your support. SHELDON: You’re welcome HOWARD: I was being sarcastic. SHELDON (angry): How dare you. HOWARD: Sheldon, what am I going to do? (beat) What do I know about raising a boy? SHELDON: What do you know about raising a girl? HOWARD: Oh, my god, you’re right. SHELDON: Well, I don’t know if that was sarcasm or not. So, either you’re welcome, or hey (fake angry). ATOM CUT TO SCENE K APARTMENT 4A (Penny, Leonard) PENNY AT ISLAND, MAKING A SANDWICH. [SFX] MESSAGE ON PENNY’S PHONE. PENNY LOOKS PENNY: Leonard, did you really just text me, from the couch, to put extra mustard on your sandwich? LEONARD: I was worried you might not check your email. PENNY CONTINUES TO SPREAD MUSTARD. [SFX] MESSAGE TONE ON PENNY’S PHONE AGAIN. SHE HOLDS UP A SLICE OF BREAD. PENNY: I swear to god, I will throw this out. LEONARD (laughing): That one was not me. PENNY LOOKS AT PHONE PICKS IT UP PENNY: Oh, wait, it was just your mom. LEONARD: My mother’s texting you? PENNY: Yeah, we’ve been talking, a lot, lately. LEONARD: Why? She sick of talking to the magic mirror on the wall? PENNY: No, I think she’s lonely. She’s been reaching out. LEONARD STAND, WALKS TOWARD PENNY AT ISLAND LEONARD: Ok, just be careful. You think you’re getting close to her, and the next thing you know, you’re featured in a book called, He’s Doing it on Purpose: Raising a Teenage Bedwetter. PENNY: No, it’s not like that, you know, she’s been opening up about her life, and she’s actually be really supportive about mine. LEONARD: Really? PENNY: Yeah, I’ve been telling her about my job and she’s said she was proud of me. Even when I stayed dry for a whole month. LEONARD: Well that’s great. She never told me she was proud of me. Even when I stayed dry for a whole month. PENNY: Do you not want me to be friends with your mom? LEONARD: Well, let’s be clear. I…I…I married you to hurt her. You’re kinda ruining it. ATOM CUT TO SCENE L EXTERIOR, IN WHAT APPEARS TO BE A SMALL SECTION OF DESERT (Sheldon, Howard) SHELDON, HOWARD PICKING UP PIECES OF THE DESTROYED ROCKET, AND PUTTING THEM IN A BOX. SHELDON: Reason number thirteen to feel good, as a launch, it was bad, but as an explosion, it was glorious. Reason fourteen, you still have all your fingers. And, boys prefer a dad with fingers. HOWARD: Thanks for trying, but you’re not going to be able to cheer me up. SHELDON: Well, how about this then? You quit your whining, before I give you something to cry about, young man. HOWARD: What? SHELDON: Those are comforting words my father would often say. HOWARD: Did it help? SHELDON: I turned out great, you tell me. HOWARD: Let’s get going. BOTH START WALKING TOWARD THE CAR. SHELDON: Are you going to be this mopey all the way home? HOWARD: I don’t know, maybe. SHELDON: Is there any chance you’d be cheered up by an amazing trigonometry riddle? HOWARD STOPS, TURNS, AND LOOKS AT SHELDON IN DISGUST SHELDON: If you can’t answer that, there’s no way you’re going to get this riddle. ATOM CUT TO SCENE M WOLOWITZ LIVING ROOM (Raj, Bernadette) RAJ AT SEWING MACHING, SEWING, BERNADETTE WALKS UP TO HIM, HE TURNS AND LOOKS AT HER, POINTS TOWARD WHAT HE IS SEWING. RAJ: Oh, hey. Hey, what do you think? BERNADETTE: Just cause it’s a boy I don’t think you need to put a picture of genitals on his shirt BERNAETTE WALKS TO COUCH, SITS, STARTS FOLDING CLOTHES. RAJ: That’s a little baseball bat, with two little baseballs. Ok, yeah, now I see it. SHELDON CLOSES DOOR RAJ: So, you know, I understand why Howard is nervous about having a son, but are you really upset about it? BERNADETTE: No, I’m fine. It’s just I grew up with a bunch of brothers, so I thought it’d be nice for Halley to have a sister. Is that wrong? RAJ: Of course it’s wrong. You don’t know what this little boy is going to be like. Maybe he’ll be rough and tumble, or maybe he’ll be sweet and sensitive, or maybe he’ll be all those things, like me. BERNADETTE (sarcastically): You’re rough and tumble? RAJ: You bet I am, bitch. But, I’m also sensitive and regret saying……that. ATOM CUT TO SCENE N APARTMENT 4B (Amy) AMY SITTING AT THE ISLAND, WORKING ON HER COMPUTER. KNOCK ON DOOR, LEONARD OPENS DOOR, STANDS IN DOORWAY. LEONARD: Hey AMY: Hello LEONARD: You got a sec? AMY: Sure, what’s up? LEONARD ENTERS, AND CLOSES DOOR. LEONARD: Penny’s been talking to my mother, like they are best friends, and it’s kind of freaking me out. AMY: Okay. I am pretty sure they’re not best friends, cause you can only have one best friend, and Penny has that, and it’s me. LEONARD: Oh, really? Is she FaceTiming with you right now, because she’s FaceTiming with my mom, and believe me that is not a face you want to spend time with? AMY: Hmmmff, well, I have been pretty busy lately. Maybe I’ve been neglecting our friendship AMY STANDS, WALKS TOWARD THE WINDOW LEONARD: Penny knows I have a complicated relationship with my mother, it’s like she doesn’t even care. AMY: And with everything going on at the lab, and planning the wedding, I just, I have so little free time. LEONARD: Penny doesn’t know how manipulative my mother can be, did you know there’s such a thing as reverse, reverse, reverse psychology, because, there is. AMY WALKS BACK TOWARD HER COMPUTER AMY: I mean she must feel so abandoned, she’s used to me being there all the time, but now I have my own life and she’s just going to have to accept it. LEONARD (starting to get angry): And, why is my mom proud of Penny and not me. AMY (getting frustrated): I mean the real question is why is Penny so afraid of me growing as a person. LEONARD (yelling): I’m good at stuff too. AMY (yelling): I deserve my own life. AMY, LEONARD TURN AND LOOK AT EACH OTHER, REALIZING THEY WERE YELLING. LEONARD: Okay, well, thanks. AMY: Good talk. LEONARD WALKS TOWARD THE DOOR. AMY SITS BACK DOWN IN FRONT OF HER COMPUTER. ATOM CUT TO SCENE P WOLOWITZ’S CAR (Howard, Sheldon.) HOWARD DRIVING. SHELDON: You know, studies have shown that people distracted by emotional issues are poor drivers. HOWARD: What about people distracted by irritating passengers? SHELDON: That would be hard to test, because irritating is a subjective quantity. HOWARD: Strongly disagree. SHELDON: (2 beats) Can I drive? HOWARD: No, you can’t drive. You don’t even have a license. SHELDON: Actually, I do. HOWARD (surprised): Really? Since when? SHELDON: Three years ago. I went on a bit of a license kick. I’m also a commercial fisherman. HOWARD: Then why don’t you ever drive yourself. SHELDON: Honestly, I barely passed my test, and the one time I drove on my own, I made a U-turn, got dizzy, threw up, and walked home. HOWARD: You really want to drive? SHELDON: It seems like the perfect time. The roads are straight, there’s no one around, and you don’t seem to care if you live or die. HOWARD: Live, Sheldon, I want to live. SHELDON: Well, that makes things a little tricker, but I’ll do my best. ATOM CUT TO SCENE R APRTMENT 4A (Leonard) LEONARD ON COUCH, ON HIS COMPUTER. [SFX] PHONE RINGING. BEVERLY ON COMPUTER. BEVERLY(excited): Hi Pen…… (sounds disappointed) oh, hello Leonard. LEONARD (tightly): Hello mother, how are you? BEVERLY: Fine, and you? LEONARD: I’m great. BEVERLY: Well, it’s been lovely catching up. LEONARD: No, no, no, wait, hang on, we need to talk. BEVERLY (dismayed): Oh, brother. LEONARD: I want to know, why aren’t you proud of me? BEVERLY: Well, isn’t the real question, why aren’t you proud of yourself? LEONARD: No, that is a question, and I ask it a lot. But, let’s stick with the one I asked you. BEVERLY: But, why do you think I’m not proud of you? LEONARD: Because you never say it. But, two days into chatting with Penny and you can’t stop telling her how great she is. BEVERLY: She is great. Honestly, of all of my children’s spouses, she’s the one I’m most impressed by. LEONARD: Seriously? BEVERLY: Yes, she’s confident, she thoughtful, and she never complained about you once. I know what kind of strength that takes. LEONARD: So, Penny’s your favorite. BEVERLY: I suppose she is. You married well, Leonard, and for that, I am proud of you. LEONARD (starts tearing up): I don’t, I don’t, I don’t know what to say. BEVERLY: I’m also proud of how hard you’re trying not to cry. LEONARD (more tears): Thanks you. BEVERLY: Would you like to hang up now? LEONARD: Yeah, here it comes. LEONARD CLOSES COMPUTER. TEARS START FLOWING. ATOM CUT TO SCENE S WOLOWITZ’S CAR SHELDON DRIVING. HOWARD: Your hands are at ten and two. Good. Steady on the gas. Okay. Now, you’re going to want to slowly switch lanes…… SHELDON: Why? HOWARD: Because there are only two, and you’re not in either of them. SHELDON TURNS TURN SIGNAL ON, MOVES TO THE RIGHT. HOWARD: Atta boy, well done. SHELDON: Thank you, uh, the last time I drove I was terrified. But, this is fun. HOWARD: You’re doing great. SHELDON: You’re a good teacher. (2 beats) Your son is going to be lucky to have you as a father. HOWARD: Thanks SHELDON: Do you think I could try going a little faster. HOWARD: Go for it champ. HOWARD LIGHTLY HITS SHELDON’S SHOULDER WITH HIS FIST SHELDON: OWWWWW. HOWARD: Sorry, just ease on the gas and…… SHELDON FLOORS THE GAS PEDAL HOWARD (yells): ……awwwww, too much, too much. SHELDON: Why was I scared of this, this is exhilarating. HOWARD (yelling): No, it’s not, slow down. SHELDON (yelling): Don’t tell me what to do, you’re not my father. FADEOUT END OF ACT 2 TAG ATOM CUT TO SCENE T EXTERIOR, ROAD IN DESERT. (Howard, Sheldon, Sherriff) HOWARD AND SHELDON IN HOWARD’S CAR, SHELDON IN DRIVERS SEAT. SHERIFF’S CAR BEHIND THEM, SHERIFF WALKS TO HOWARDS’S CAR’S DRIVER’S SIDE WINDOW. SHERIFF: Do you know how fast you were going? SHELDON (nodding): 112 HOWARD LOOKS EMBARRASSED. SHERIFF: Let me see your license. SHELDON (whispers to Howard): Ok, here’s the plan. HOWARD (shaking head): No SHELDON: Fine SHELDON HANDS LICENSE TO SHERIFF. SHELDON: There you go. You know what, you can just keep it. BLACKOUT END OF TAG RUN END CREDITS END OF SHOW
  17. Posts have been hidden. Remember, Remember rule 2G, concerning rumors and speculation.
  18. I would like to point out, that this thread is for discussion of the transcripts. The actual transcript thread is set up so you can't comment on it, but feel free to comment here. I use it to announce when I have a new transcript up and ready, but any suggestions or comments are welcome in this thread.
  19. The transcript for the third episode, 1103 The Relaxation Integration are now up in the Season 11 Transcript Sub-Forum.
  20. The Relaxation Integration Season 11 Episode 03 Teleplay by Story by Maria Ferrari Chuck Lorre & & Andy Gordon Steve Holland & & Tara Hernandez Adam Faberman COLD OPEN SCENE A ATOM CUT TO APARTMENT 4A (Leonard, Sheldon, Penny, Howard, Raj, Bernadette, Amy) SITTING IN LIVING ROOM, PLAYING A CARD GAME. SHELDON: Mmmmm, some news of our wedding, I have sent you all a save the date email. PENNY: Oooooooo, exciting, you guys picked a date? SHELDON: Better, I picked 80 dates. And, I need you to save them all, until we narrow it down. AMY: I thought we agreed on June fifteenth. SHELDON: That’s the day after Flag day, everyone will be partied out. HOWARD: It’s a date, just pick one. SHELDON: It’s not just a date, it’s a textbook optimization problem. There is a perfect date. Just like there is a perfect room temperature, and a perfect desert. PENNY: Hmmmm, there is no perfect desert. SHELDON: Yellow cake, in the shape of a dinosaur, with chocolate frosting, a scoop of vanilla ice cream on the side, not touching. You’ll see, you’ll have it at our wedding. AMY(deadpan): You wanna bet? SHELDON: You give me enough time, I can do the same thing with a wedding date. It needs to be on the weekend, not near any of your birthdays, or the weekend of Comic-con. LEONARD: Ohhhhhhh, you could get married at Comic-con. AMY, BERNADETTE, PENNY (together): Noooooo. AMY: We just need a weekend date that’s completely boring and uneventful. BERNADETTE: Too bad you didn’t get your ducks in a row, because tonight would have been perfect. CUT TO OPENING TITLES ACT 1 ATOM CUT TO SCENE B AMY AND SHELDON’S BEDROOM (Amy, Sheldon) AMY AND SHELDON SLEEPING, SHELDON DREAMING. DREAM CUT TO AMY AND SHELDON’S APARTMENT LIVING AREA (Amy, Sheldon) AMY AT ISLAND, WORKING, SHELDON ENTERS FROM BEDROOM. SHELDON: Good morning. AMY: Good morning. I know today is Apple Jacks day… AMY TURNS AND SHAKES CEREAL BOX AMY: But we’re all out. SHELDON (unconcerned): That’s fine. I’ll have anything. AMY (Shocked): Really? SHELDON: Yeah, you know, whatev. AMY (smiles) Whatev? I like this side of you. SHELDON: You know what I like? Smooth jazz. SHELDON PULLS OUT FLUGLEHORN, START’S PLAYING “RISE” AMY LOOKS ON IN DISBELIEF AT FIRST, THEN STARTS MOVING DREAM RESET TO AMY AND SHELDON’S BEDROOM (Amy, Sheldon) SHELDON ASLEEP, DREAMING MAKING FLUGLEHORN SOUNDS. AMY, AWAKE, LISTENING. ATOM CUT TO SCENE C WOLOWITZ KITCHEN (Howard, Bernadette) HOWARD SITTING AT TABLE, EATING. BERNADETTE WALKS FROM STOVE TO COUNTER, GETS AND BUTTERS TOAST. BERNADETTE: Hey, just a reminder I’m going out for drinks after work. HOWARD: Great. Just a reminder, you’re pregnant. BERNADETTE: I’m not drinking, just taking a new co-worker out. HOWARD(guffaws): Just a reminder, you’re married. BERNADETTE: A female co-worker. She’s new in town, and I want to make her feel welcome. I let her know the office is full of liars before everyone tells her I’m mean. HOWARD: Is she single? BERNADETTE: I’m not setting her up with Raj. HOWARD: What about Stewart. BERNADETTE: Are you listening? I want her to think I’m not mean. HOWARD: Okay, well, it’s just we have two single friends. BERNADETTE WALKS FROM COUNTER TO TABLE, SITS. BERNADETTE: Howie, I just met this woman. Why don’t I wait a little and get to know her. Maybe I won’t like her, and then I’d be happy to ruin her life with Stewart or Raj. HOWARD(in a whisper): That’s all I ask. ATOM CUT TO SCENE D APT 4A, AT ISLAND (Amy, Leonard, Penny). AMY SITTING, LEONARD, PENNY STANDING, DRINKING COFFEE. AMY: So, you guys lived with Sheldon for a long time. LEONARD: Long time. PENNY: So very long. LEONARD: By the way, congratulation again on your engagement. PENNY: Yeah, you got a good one. AMY: Thanks, so it’s strange. Sheldon was talking in his sleep last night, and he seemed like a totally different person. He was relaxed, and loose, and calm. LEONARD: Sheldon is a complicated man. AMY: He said, whatev. LEONARD: Get him a brain scan, that might be a tumor. AMY: I think the wedding planning is really stressful for him. And, that can trigger sleep talking. PENNY: Maybe this is part of Sheldon’s personality he’s been repressing. I think we dream about things we wish we could be in real life. AMY: Really, what do you dream about? PENNY: Oh…uh…yo…being the wife of Leonard, mostly that. LEONARD: I choose to believe you. AMY: As much as we’ve studied the brain, there’s still a lot we don’t know about dreams and their function. You know, even psychologists are divided on it. LEONARD: It’s true, Freud thought dreams were about sex. Adler thought they were about dominance. PENNY: Then again, mine are just about being married to this little guy. LEONARD: Okay, now it’s just edging into mockery. ATOM CUT TO SCENE E INSIDE A BAR (Bernadette, Ruchi) BOTH AT TABLE, WITH DRINKS RUCHI: Well, moving to a new city was a little scary. But the job seems great. Everyone really nice BERNADETTE: Oh, they are. Super nice. I mean only one of them took you out tonight, but it’s not a competition. RUCHI: Thanks again. You know we could have gone somewhere more pregnancy friendly. BERNADETTE: Oh, it’s okay. One of the great things about being pregnant is drinking cranberry juice out of a wine glass, and watching people freak out. RAJ AND STEWART ENTER THE BAR, RAJ WAVES RAJ: Bernie. BERNADETTE(disgusted): Oh, damn. RAJ AND STEWART WALK UP TO THE TABLE STUART: Hey, what are the odds? BERNADETTE(frustrated): Yeah, seren-frigging-dipity. RAJ: Hello, Rajesh. STUART: Stuart RUCHI: Hi, Ruchi. BERNADETTE: Ruchi is my co-worker. But, that was probably in your briefing packet. ATOM CUT TO SCENE F APT 4B (Sheldon) SHELDON IS LOOKING AT HIS PHONE, NEXT TO THE WHITE BOARD NEAR THE DOOR. AMY ENTERS THROUGH FRONT DOOR AMY: Hi AMY PUTS PURSE ON COUCH SHELDON(dejectedly): Hello. AMY: What’s wrong? AMY WALKS TO KITCHEN SHELDON(still dejectedly): I found the perfect wedding date. AMY WALKS TO SHELDON AMY (excidedly): That’s terrific. SHELDON(still dejectedly): No, it’s not. It was May 19, 1996. We would have had a lovely wedding. And our honeymoon would have coincided with the first appearance of the Hale-Bopp comet AMY: Sheldon, you were sixteen. SHELDON(frustrated):And in Texas, no one would have batted an eye. Oh, wait, it’s no good, that’s the day that John Pertwee, the third Dr Who, died. AMY: And it’s in the past SHELDON:Hey, hey, I said it’s no good, just let it go. AMY AND SHELDON WALK TO COUCH, SIT. AMY: Sheldon, I appreciate you trying to make this wedding perfect. But, it’s making you miserable. SHELDON: The wedding isn’t making me miserable, the calendar is. Why can’t there just be one week, each month, for famous people to die. AMY: Well, they’ve already arranged to die in threes, what more do you want from them. SHELDON: It’s so frustrating. Why can’t I find the perfect date? I found the perfect way to say hi to cowboys. SHELDON MAKES A FINGER GUN, POINTS IT, WINKS, AND MAKES TWO CLICKING SOUNDS WITH HIS MOUTH. THEN WALKS OVER TO THE WHITE BOARD. AMY FOLLOWS. AMY: I’m just saying, maybe there’s a part of you, deep down, that just wants to relax a little. You know, kick back, say, whatev. SHELDON: Whatev? I’m sorry, you’re really not going to finish that a word? AMY: I’m just trying to make a point… SHELDON: Finish the word Amy. AMY(frustrated): Fine, er. SHELDON TURNS BACK TO THE WHITEBOARD AMY(frustrated): Er, er, er. SHELDON TURNS BACK AS AMY WALKS TOWARD BEDROOM SHELDON: Thank you. But now you owe me three more whatevs. AMY CLOSES BEDROOM DOOR ATOM CUT TO SCENE G INSIDE A BAR (Ruchi, Bernadette, Raj, Stuart) ALL FOUR AT TABLE WITH DRINKS. RAJ: Oh, you were born in Trivandrum have you every been to the Kuthira Mālikai Palace. RUCHI: No, I haven’t. RAJ: Me either, what a small world. BERNADETTE LOOKS DISGUSTED. STUART: I’ve also never been there. I’ve never been lots of places, go on, quiz me. RUCHI: I’m sorry, we’re being rude, talking about India. RAJ: Oh, yeah, you know, if you and Bernadette want to talk about America, that’s cool with us. Here, let me get you started. (Raj speaks in a bad American accent), Hamburgers, am I right? BERNADETTE AGAIN LOOKS DISGUSTED. RUCHI: So, what do you guys do? RAJ: Well, I’m an astrophysicist, so if you ever go out at night, and look up at the stars, it’s kinda my office. RAJ POINTS AT STUART. RAJ: He sells comic books to children. STUART: Actually, I own my own store. Uh, i…i…if you’d like to check it out sometime, I’m running a new promotion. Buy anything, get taken out for a reasonably priced dinner. RAJ: Yah, yah, Stuart’s struggling financially, But, he doesn’t let that get him down, he believes in himself, even though the whole world has made it clear, he should not. STUART: Thank you. And, you know, Raj, I think it’s great you no longer live off your parents, like a spoiled child. You live over someones garage, like a failed adult. RAJ: Yah, well you live with her. RAJ POINTS AT BERNADETTE. RUCHI RAISES AN EYEBROW AND LOOKS AT BERNADETTE. BERNADETTE: Oh, it’s not like that. He rents a room from me and my husband. Who, by the way, is no prize either. ATOM CUT TO SCENE H APARTMENT 4B BEDROOM (Amy, Sheldon) SHELDON IS ASLEEP, TALKING SHELDON: Oh, I don’t care. You know me, I just go with the flow. CAMERA PULLS BACK, TO SHOW AMY USING HER PHONE TO RECORD SHELDON. SHELDON: Beach, public pool, they both sound awesome. AMY LOOKS CONFUSED ATOM CUT TO SCENE J APARTMENT 4A (Amy, Leonrd, Penny) AMY ON COUCH, IN SHELDON’S SPOT. LEONARD AND PENNY IN CHAIRS, LISTENING TO AMY’S PHONE, SHELDON TALKING. SHELDON (on phone): On second thought, beach. I’d like to befriend a seagull. LEONARD: That is crazy. PENNY: Yeah. Will you email that to me? LEONARD: Have you played this for him? AMY: No, I’m worried he’ll say I violated his privacy. Listen how happy he sounds. SHELDON (on phone): I’m up for anything, as long as I’m with you. SHELDON ENTERS THROUGH FRONT DOOR SHELDON: What are you listening to? AMY TURNS OFF PHONE AMY: Nothing. SHELDON SIT’S ON ARM, NEAREST THE DOOR SHELDON: Oh, come on, I want to hear. AMY TURNS PHONE ON SHELDON (on phone): We don’t need GPS, just see where the road takes us. SHELDON: I see why you turned it off, that guy sounds like an idiot. PENNY: Honey, that’s you. SHELDON: Don’t be silly. My voice is deep and sonorous. Like a caucasian James Earl Jones. Luke, I am your father, see. AMY: It is you, I recorded you in your sleep. SHELDON (on phone): Oh, look, a hitchhiker. I bet he has some interesting stories. WHILE LISTENING, SHELDON GET A LOOK OF DISBELIEF ON HIS FACE. SHELDON: That’s me? AMY: It’s you. SHELDON(angrily): So, you spied on me, in my sleep? AMY: Sheldon, I’m sorry. You’ve been doing this every night. I couldn’t help but wonder if it meant something. SHELDON: Well, it doesn’t. SHELDON STANDS, AND WALKS TOWARD THE DOOR. AMY STANDS WALKS TOWARD SHELDON. AMY: Are you sure? I mean the pre-frontal cortex regulates impulse control. So it’s plausible, that when we’re asleep, aspects of our personality that we repress, might come out. SHELDON(angrily): Don’t try to put science lipstick on your new age pig. And, for the record, you make noises when you sleep. But, I’ve never accused you of repressing your inner chainsaw. SHELDON LEAVES APARTMENT, SLAMS DOOR. AMY PUTS UP HER HANDS IN DEFEAT. LEONARD: If you want me to object at your wedding, just give me one of these. LEONARD RUBS HIS NOSE, AND NODS. FADEOUT ON DEJECTED AMY END ACT 1 ATOM CUT TO ACT 2 SCENE K COMIC BOOK STORE (Howard, Leonard) HOWARD, LEONARD LOOKING THROUGH COMIC BOOKS. HOWARD (smiling): This picture of Galactus eating a planet, looks like my prego wife, destroying a coffee cake. HOWARD HANDS LEONARD THE COMIC BOOK. LEONARD(laughing): Oh, yeah, I see it. STUART, RAJ ENTER FROM THE BACK ROOM. RAJ: I’m just saying, you should bow out. STUART: Why should I bow out? RAJ: Uh, because, we all know how this is going to end. STUART: That’s what my doctor said, too, but I’m still here. RAJ: Okay, look, I…I…I think that she and I have more in common. STUART: Because, your Indian? So, just cause she’s brown, you get to date her? RAJ: Yes. (beat) and the next time we meet a woman who’s pale and cadaver like, she’s all yours. STUART WALKS OVER TO HOWARD, RAJ FOLLOWS STUART: Howard, Bernadette was there last night, did she say anything when she got home? HOWARD: Yeah, she said why’d you tell those idiots where I was, thanks a lot. RAJ: How about we flip a coin. LEONARD: Hang on, doesn’t this girl get a word in all of this? And isn’t that word, no? STUART: Ruchi said she wanted to hang out with both of us, why don’t we just do that? RAJ: Fine. Let's hang out as friends, and see what happens. LEONARD: And, if something grows out of it, just worry about it then. STUART: Also, what my doctor said. ATOM CUT TO SCENE L LAUNDRY ROOM (Sheldon) SHELDON STARTING A WASHING MACHINE, PENNY ENTERS. PENNY: Hey, this isn’t your laundry night. SHELDON: I know, laundry on a Wednesday. The madness my life has become. PENNY WALKS OVER TO WASHING MACHING, STARTS LOADING LAUNDRY. SHELDON WALKS TO FOLDING TABLE STARTS FOLDING CLOTHES.. PENNY: Why is this sleep talking thing bothering you anyway? SHELDON: It’s simple. I don’t like the idea that my mind might be keeping an entire personality from me. Dr Jekyll’s other personality was Mr Hyde. Mr Hyde, he didn’t even have a post-graduate degree. PENNY STARTS MACHINE, PUTS SOAP IN BASKET, AND WALKS OVER TO SHELDON PENNY: Is it possible that you’re stressed, because you’re scared about getting married? I mean it is a big change, and you’re not good with little changes. SHELDON: Welp, that’s nonsense. You name one little change, I was upset with. PENNY: Uhhhhh, when they changed the green Skittle from lime to apple. SHELDON: That is not the rainbow I grew up tasting. PENNY: All right, fine, let’s start over. Is it possible that the sleep talking is a part of your brain that’s telling you everything is going to be okay, and you just need to relax a little? SHELDON: So, you’re proposing that the self is an illusion, and that we actually have multiple centers of consciousness, that are communicating with one another? PENNY: In layman’s terms, yeah. SHELDON: Huh, interesting. So, you don’t believe there’s a Cartesian self, that underlies the flux of experience. PENNY: Maybe in my twenties, not anymore. SHELDON: Okay, well assuming you’re right, what would you suggest I do? PENNY: Well, I would start with something small. See if it makes your life any better. Ahhh, you could learn to meditate, take a yoga class, SHELDON: You know, I have always been intrigued by flip-flops. The official footwear of the laid back fellow. PENNY: Okay, sure. SHELDON: Of course, if my feet are going to be exposed, I’ll need to update my tetanus booster. PENNY: Oh yeah, makes sense. PENNY WALKS OVER TO WASHING MACHINE, PICKS UP BASKET SHELDON: And while I’m there, I may as well get a flu shot, and a mole check PENNY: Sure. You know, I’ve never had a mole check. SHELDON: Ooooff, well, it’s been nice knowing ya. ATOM CUT TO SCENE M INSIDE BAR, AT BAR. (RAJ, RUCHI) RAJ ACCEPTING DRINKS FROM BARTENDER, HANDS ONE TO RUCHI. RAJ: Here you go. RUCHI: Thank you. It’s too bad Stuart couldn’t make it. He seemed fun. RAJ: Oh, he is, I love him dearly. Not to say that I don’t worry about him. RUCHI: What’s to worry about? RAJ: You know what? I’m talking out of school. RAJ, RUCHI PAUSE FOR TWO BEATS, TURN TO FACE BAR. RAJ: Speaking of which, he’s allowed to live near them now. RUCHI’S EYES WIDEN, SHE LOOKS SHOCKED, STUART ENTERS. STUART: Hey, guys. RUCHI: Oh, great Stuart, you’re here. RAJ (in sotto voice): Yeah, Stuart, I didn’t think you were going to make it. STUART: Mmmmmmm, yeah, I believe that. [SFX] RUCHI’S PHONE. RUCHI ANSWERS RUCHI: Sorry guys, it’s work, I’ve got to take it. I’m so glad you made it Stuart. RAJ (sarcastically): Oh, yeah, so glad. RUCHI WALKS AWAY. STUART WATCHS HER LEAVE, TURNS TO RAJ STUART: I can’t believe you went behind my back RAJ: Which clearly means I want this more. STUART: You want a play a game of “who’s more desperate” with me? Cause you’re in the big leagues now, bucko. RAJ: Look, look, Ruchi and I are really hitting it off. Please, let me just have this one. STUART: I’m not going anywhere. I’m like a fungus you can’t get rid of. RUCHI RETURNS, PUTS PHONE IN HER PURSE. RUCHI: Sorry. So, what’s going on? RAJ: Oh, you just missed Stuart’s funny story about the fungus he can’t get rid of. STUART(frustrated) Raj didn’t tell me about tonight, so he could be alone with you. RUCHI: Really? That’s a little weird. RAJ: Just a little? Because I can work with that. RUCHI: Look guys, I’m not interested in dating anyone right now. I’m just looking to make some friends, RAJ: Yeah, I totally understand. But if you were going to date someone, would it be me, or Stuart. RUCHI: I think I’m going to go. RUCHI STARTS TO WALK AWAY. STUART STEPS TOWARD HER, STOPS HER STUART: Ah, ah, ah, Ruchi, I’m sorry. If you still want to hang out as friends, I’d like that. RUCHI: Thanks Stuart, I’d like that too. RUCHI LEAVES. STUART TURNS TOWARD RAJ STUART: And the fungus is under the toenail. ATOM CUT TO SCENE N APARTMENT 4B DOOR OPENS, SHELDON WALKS IN ONE FOOT IN HIS MESSENGER BAG, HIS OTHER FOOT WRAPE IN A T-SHIRT. CLOTHES AND FACE DIRTY. LOOKS SHOCKED. CUT TO AMY AT ISLAND, TYPING ON HER COMPUTER. CUT TO SHELDON LOOKING AT AMY SHELDON: Hello AMY: He SHELDON: So, um… SHELDON CLOSES DOOR SHELDON: I ah, (2 beats), I got flip-flops. AMY: Good for you. AMY TURNS TO SEE SHELDON. AMY: Oh my God, what happened? AMY GOES TOWARD SHELDON. SHELDON GOES TOWARD AMY SHELDON: After I got the flip-flops, I realized the tops of my feet were exposed, so um…I…I put on some sunscreen… AMY, SHELDON SIT ON COUCH …which caused my feet to become slippery, and predictably, one of them fell off and went down a sewer grate. Now, normally, I would have walked away. But, this is a new laidback me. So, instead of getting upset, I just reached down to grab it. That’s when I touched something furry. Which I’m telling myself, was a damp, toupee. When the toupee licked my hand, I screamed, and hopped down the street on my remaining flip-flop. AMY: Can I just ask… SHELDON: This is a long story, why don’t we please save your questions till the end. So, I…I finally came upon a bus bench, where I sat and removed one of my shirts, and fashioned it, into a makeshift shoe. SHELDON PUTS FOOT WITH SHIRT ON IT, ON THE COFFEE TABLE SHELDON: Not a waterproof shoe, that is relevant to the next part of my story. The ankle deep puddle, of warm apple juice. AMY: (3 beats) Apple juice? SHELDON: Maybe, maybe not. (2 beats) I’m telling myself a lot of things, Amy. AMY: What happened to your other flip-flop? SHELDON: Oh…whe…that involves, what I’m telling myself was a melted candy bar. AMY: I…I…I’m sorry. Is there anything I can do to help? SHELDON: Yes, I want you to be in charge of our wedding. Just…you tell me where and when, and I will show up with a boutonnière, in close toed shoes, and a Star Trek uniform underneath my tuxedo. That last part is non-negotiable. AMY: Are you sure that’s what you want? SHELDON:As sure as I’m about to go bath in Purell. AMY: I love you, AMY, SHELDON HUG SHELDON: I love you, too. AMY: You know, ever since I was a young girl, I…I’ve dreamed of a June wedding, maybe on a cliff, overlooking the ocean, at sunset. SHELDON: (2 beats) Sure. Sounds wonderful. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go clean up. SHELDON WALKS TOWARD THE BEDROOM, AMY GOES TO HER COMPUTER SHELDON: Outdoor wedding, I know what I’ll be using that cliff for. FADEOUT END OF ACT 2 TAG ATOM CUT TO SCENE P APARTMENT 4B BEDROOM (Amy, Sheldon) AMY AND SHELDON ASLEEP. DREAM CUT TO STYLIZED IMAGE OF SHELDON’S BRAIN. (Head Sheldon, Science Sheldon, Texas Sheldon, Germaphobe Sheldon, Fan-Boi Sheldon, Germaphobe Sheldon, Humorous Sheldon, Laid Back Sheldon.) HEAD SHELDON DRESSED AS SHELDON NORMALLY IS DRESSED. HEAD SHELDON: I call this meeting of the council of Sheldon’s to order. Let’s take roll. Science Sheldon. SCIENCE SHELDON DRESSED AS SHELDON, WITH WHITE LAB COAT SCIENCE SHELDON: Present. HEAD SHELDON: Texas Sheldon. TEXAS SHELDON DRESSED AS COWBOY, WITH FLASH TSHIRT, PUSHES HAT BACK. TEXAS SHELDON: Howdy HEAD SHELDON: Fan-boi Sheldon FAN-BOI SHELDON DRESSED AS SPOCK, MAKES VULCAN HAND SIGN. FAN-BOI SHELDON: Greetings HEAD SHELDON: Germaphobe Sheldon SHELDON DRESSED IN FULL CONTAINMENT SUIT, RAISE HAND. GERMAPHOBE SHELDON: Say it, don’t spray it. HUMOROUS SHELDON, DRESSED AS SHELDON, WITH RED CLOWN NOSE AND HONKING BIKE HORN HUMOROUS SHELDON: Where’s Jock Sheldon? (laughs). HEAD SHELDON: Not the time Humorous Sheldon. HUMOROUS SHELDON FROWNS, LOOKS SAD. CAMERA CUT TO VIEW ALL SHELDONS SITTING, WITH ONE EXTRA SHELDON HEAD SHELDON: Ok, new business. Do we grant Laidback Sheldon, a seat on the council? LAIDBACK SHELDON DRESSED IN FLIP-FLOPS, SHORTS, AND A HAWAIIAN SHIRT WITH A FRUIT, DRINK WITH UMBRELLA LAIDBACK SHELDON: Hey, whatever you guys want. I’m just chillin, like Bob Dylan. LAIDBACK SHELDON TAKES DRINK FROM STRAW. SCIENCE SHELDON: Negative. TEXAS SHELDON: Heck no. GERMAPHOBE SHELDON: I don’t feel well. LAIDBACK SHELDON MOVES AWAY FROM GERMAPHOBE SHELDON. HUMOROUS SHELDON LOOKS MAD, SHAKES HIS HEAD, AND HONKS HORN. FAN-BOI SHELDON POINTS AT HUMOROUS SHELDON. FAN-BOI SHELDON: Can we kick him out too? CUT TO VIEW OF ALL THE SHELDONS BLACKOUT END OF TAG RUN END CREDITS END OF SHOW
  21. Hey, everyone, It's time to give chucky his retirement birthday wish. Happy 65 chucky.
  22. Even outside my fan fic, I've maintained that some sort of twist was necessary to keep Leonard and Penny apart. We had already seen Penny's feelings, and her regret at breaking up with Leonard. Leonard didn't want to be too far from her, either. But I don't think TPTB were ready to get them back together. With Priya gone, and without some thing to keep L and P apart, it would have been rather silly not to get them together (think of how silly it became with Sheldon still living with them). While it was a bit extreme, it did make their relationship awkward enough that they didn't get back together for another half a year. Although much later, (season 8), we did find out everyone knew, I would have like to see the scene where Penny told Leonard.
  23. Yeah, I've been married 43 years and I find it hard to picture not having her here. You may have noticed more ads. Tripper doesn't have a problem keeping it running, for now. The ads reduce the cost to him. I'm here to cover most of the day to day things. I try to come up with things. Also, I know some people don't watch Young Sheldon, but we do get an occasional note, about the Big Bang Universe. We got one this week, as a matter of fact. As for the rest, thanks. 🙂
  24. In 6-18 The Contractual Obligation Implementation, the girls are talking about skipping work, and going to Disneyland. This conversation occurred, about skipping school: Amy: Hooky? I’ve never played hooky in my life. My mom said that’s how girls end up addicted to reefer and jazz music. Penny: It’s more like how girls end up at a Best Western hotel with a 34-year-old guy named Luther. Bernadette: Joke? Penny: I can laugh about it now. The question from Bernadette where she asks Joke? was base on several comments by Penny prior to this, such as: Are you kidding? You brought fancy wine and made fondue. I’ve slept with guys for less. It’s a joke. Based on real events. Many Lennys were pissed off by that joke, cause they saw it as just another "slut Penny" comment.
  25. Mario, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. This forum meant so much to me (and still does). I was medically retired and was not able to do a lot physically, and the forum filled my time with something I was able to do. Everyone here, contributed to that, even the troublemakers (ahem... chucky 😝). You should have seen a few of mine and Tripper's conversations.
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