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  1. The history of the greatest place on Earth, narrated by your heroine and sovereign, the Queen. Once upon a time, in a land far far away... There was a peaceful place. A place of serenity and still waters, no craziness in sight. We shall call this land Salt Lake City, and then Sheldon kissed Amy. A Queen arrived and noticed how totes amazeballs it was, and decided to build a parking lot - and by the power given to her by Neil, a kingdom was born; and once you open the doors, they will come. And they did. As the kingdom began to fill, the Queen watched in horror as madness spread and shrieked "...daaamn! this is blasphemous!" She gasped in horror and surveyed the peasants and the sassy Tyra Banks as they wandered around the court. Is that Koops jingling her bells? Is that a PIK happening in the market behind the tea-stand? GOOD LORD. How did Reginald get in here, and why is there wingewie thrown abo- "What's going on? Can someone Bing it for m-" "BE QUIET, TIFFANY."
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