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Favorite Quotes

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1. oh gravity thou are a heartless bitch- sheldon

2. We don't need strength, we're physicists. We are the intellectual descendants of Archimedes. Give me a lever and a fulcrum and I could lift the earth.

[The package starts falling on him]

Leonard: I don't have this! I don't have this! I DON'T HAVE THIS!

[sheldon lifts the package off him]

Sheldon: Archimedes would be so proud.

Leonard: Well, do you have any ideas?

Sheldon: Yeah, but they all involve a Green Lantern and a power ring.

3. Sheldon: At this point I should inform you that I intend to form my own team, and destroy the molecular bonds that bind your very matter together, and reduce the resulting particulate chaos to tears. Leonard: Thanks for the heads up.

Sheldon: You're welcome. [starts to leave]

One more thing. Leonard: Yes?

Sheldon: It's on, bitch.

4. Penny: [to Leonard] Look, you are a great guy, and it is the things you love that make you who you are. Howard: I guess that makes me large breasts..

5. Sheldon: I don't know, but if you don't figure something out, I warn you, I shall become very difficult to live with! Leonard: You mean up until now we've been experiencing the happy, fun-time Sheldon?

Sheldon: Yes.

Leonard: I'll go talk to her!


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Some of mine:

[The Loobenfeld Decay – Penny is singing and the guys can hear it in the stairwell]

Leonard: What the hell was that?

Sheldon: I don't know, but, if cats could sing... they'd hate it, too.

[The Flaming Spittoon Acquisition – in the cafeteria at the university]

Howard: I thought you didn't like Facebook any more.

Sheldon: Oh, don't be silly. I'm a fan of anything that tries to replace actual human contact.

[The Adhesive Duck Deficiency – guys have eaten edibles and are hiiiiiiiigh]

Raj: If I could speak the language of rabbits, they would be amazed and I would be their king.

Leonard: I hate my name. It has "nerd" in it. Leo-nerd.

Howard: I lost my virginity to my cousin Jeannie.

Raj: I would be kind to my rabbit subjects... at first.

Leonard: You know what's a good name? Angelo. It has "angel" and "jello" in it.

Howard: It was my uncle's funeral. Our eyes met across the table over the pickled herring. We couldn't help ourselves!

Raj: One day, I hold a great ball for the president of France, but the rabbits, they hate me and don't come. I'm embarrassed, so I eat all the lettuce in the world and make them watch.

Leonard: People would call me Angie. Yo, Angie! How you doin'?

Howard: To this day, I can't look at pickled herring without being a little aroused and ashamed.

[The Prestidigitation Approximation – eating in the guys' apartment]

Penny: Oh, big deal. Not knowing is part of the fun.

Sheldon: 'Not knowing is part of the fun.' Was that the motto of your community college?

[The Pulled Groin Extrapolation – Amy talking to Leonard]

Amy: I have a sorta-kinda-boyfriend at home playing with a model train, but you don't hear me bitching about it.

[The Skank Reflex Analysis – yelling at Raj]


[The Roommate Transmogrification – at The Cheesecake Factory after Bernadette tells everyone she's receiving her Ph.D]

Penny: So that means, you're a doctor, you're a doctor, you're a doctor, you're a doctor and... Howard, you know a lot of doctors!

[The Hofstadter Isotope – in the comic book store]

Penny: What would you recommend as a present for a 13 year old boy?

Stuart: A 13 year old girl.

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Its hard to read these lines without hearing the actors' voices. I know they keep talking about how good the writing is, but the actors really make these lines come to life. Reading them might get a little chuckle, but without the actors, it is just not the same! They really have magic on this show.

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(after Penny shoots Sheldon's cushion with a paintball gun)

Penny: What are we going to do?

Leonard: We? No, no, no. You had your chance to be "we" for like a year and a half now. Right now, you are you and you are screwed!

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Howard: "Grab a napkin homie, you just got served."

Zack: "That's it? That's your big experiment?"

Leonard Hofstadter: "Don't you see what we've done? It's the only definite proof that a species put objects on the moon. A species that only 60 years earlier had just invented the airplane."

Zack: "What species is that?"

Raj: "Do you know what vegan chicken and rice is? RICE!"

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