Character Bernadette Rostenkowski

[Itwasdestined]

I think it's part of developing a story arc to challenge the Howardette marriage. There's a lot of tension building there based on Howard taking her for granted - she does all the work at home, she's the chief breadwinner, subconsciously she feels Howard sees her as Mrs Wolowitz's replacement as his carer. She seems to react badly to Howard spending money on frivolous geek culture stuff, maybe because she sees him more interested in that than her. Pre marriage in seasons 3, 4 and 5, there are doubts raised about Howard's opinion of her hotness compared to other women he fantasises about or how she got Glenn interested in her.

Now we have the writers having people recognise her sexual appeal, followed by Howard dropping her naked body in excitement about geeky ideas for his birthday party! In terms of her girl friends, she sees Leonard worshipping Penny and Amy so excited about every development in her relationship with Sheldon. Even Raj now has someone which means she's not getting the attention from him she may well have secretly noticed as is missing. FFS, even Stuart is getting attention from Howard because of Debbie. And the boys in general seem to be spending a lot more time together this season than the last couple - Penny and Amy seem comfortable with that, Bernie I'm not sure.

I think she feels her relationship is stuck in a rut - an early stage seven year itch. Penny is in the exciting engaged phase, Amy is in milestone phase, Raj is in early days excitement phase and her and Howard are fighting over who empties the dishwasher! Her frustration is reaching breaking point so she is lashing out at any target. Howard's Bernadette song is a lifetime ago. The Howardette needs another moment stat!

Edited November 1, 2014 by Itwasdestined

[SRAM]

It just seems that they keep making her look better and better every time she goes out with the girls. She really looked good in the Vegas episode, even as good as Penny, of course Penny made up for it when she put on that bikini. I'm wondering if they are going somewhere with that. We all know that Melissa can look pretty DAMM hot and sexy from her publicity shots so there is still room on the show to make her even hotter. I like to see her in a bikini but alas that will probably just stay on my wish list.

[TheoreticalPhysicist]

I would make love to Bernadette. Passionate, never-ending, pure love.

[3ku11]

I would make love to Bernadette. Passionate, never-ending, pure love.

 

Good to know

[TheoreticalPhysicist]

Good to know

 

Want details?

[JimT212]

My opinion of Bernadette Rostenkowski is: I think Bernadette Rostenkowski looks like she deserves to be referred to as "beloved". She is one of the reasons I got into The Big Bang Theory. There are some of the things that I like about her: The voice, the outfit, and maybe the body shape as well. I would hold Bernadette and squeeze her really tight like a pillow. In fact, they should have considered making a plush doll of Bernadette.

Edited February 17, 2015 by JimT212

[Mislav]

She is an abusive selfish ass. At least in this season. I hope that they either write her better in season nine or at least have somebody get back at her more often. To be honest I'd much rather see Howard divorce her, but that will never happen.

[phantagrae]

She is an abusive selfish ass. At least in this season. I hope that they either write her better in season nine or at least have somebody get back at her more often. To be honest I'd much rather see Howard divorce her, but that will never happen.

 

You're kidding.

 

While they do write Bernie as being kind of harsh sometimes, she has still demonstrated a lot of love and support for Howard.  She is dealing with a man-child, in many ways, and with a guy who never really fully cut the apron strings until his mother passed away.

 

And of course, the primary thing is that everything is exaggerated for comedic effect.  You might not find it funny, but that's intention behind it, just like the exaggerations in the personalities or behaviors in ALL of the characters.

 

All the characters say and do something outrageous at one point or another.  It's the absurdity of the genre and the name of the game.

That's why Leonard's mother is over the top with her clinical approach toward Leonard.

That's why Penny is always grabbing that bottle of wine.

That's why Leonard is allergic to everything known to man.

That's why Raj is always talking about Beyonce and Sandra Bullock and quoting women's magazines.

That's why Emily is always talking about cutting people and slasher movies.

That's why Howard talks about how he was stuffed into lockers or loves his video games and all that.

That's why Amy was always glomming onto Penny or wanting to play in the cadaver lab or whatever.

That's why Sheldon has such outrageous rules in the RA or keeps track of his bowel movements.

 

Whatever there is about their personalities and traits is taken to an extreme for comedic effect, including Bernie's temper or competitiveness or whatever.

 

I don't know where you get "abusive selfish ass" from, as she's usually one of the more level-headed in the group.  She's the one who likes Wii and Bippity Boppity Boo.

They bring out her aggressive side as needed, but in general she's a teeny tiny wildebeast.

[Itwasdestined]

She has a repressed dark side, a bit of an angry little man syndrome but is far from abusive. When she blows her top it's usually justified ( with Howard anyway) and when it's not she apologises - case in point her fight with Amy over the glam magazine cover. If I was married to Howard Wolowitz I'm pretty sure I'd lose it occasionally to!

[Mislav]

You're kidding.

While they do write Bernie as being kind of harsh sometimes, she has still demonstrated a lot of love and support for Howard. She is dealing with a man-child, in many ways, and with a guy who never really fully cut the apron strings until his mother passed away.

And of course, the primary thing is that everything is exaggerated for comedic effect. You might not find it funny, but that's intention behind it, just like the exaggerations in the personalities or behaviors in ALL of the characters.

All the characters say and do something outrageous at one point or another. It's the absurdity of the genre and the name of the game.

That's why Leonard's mother is over the top with her clinical approach toward Leonard.

That's why Penny is always grabbing that bottle of wine.

That's why Leonard is allergic to everything known to man.

That's why Raj is always talking about Beyonce and Sandra Bullock and quoting women's magazines.

That's why Emily is always talking about cutting people and slasher movies.

That's why Howard talks about how he was stuffed into lockers or loves his video games and all that.

That's why Amy was always glomming onto Penny or wanting to play in the cadaver lab or whatever.

That's why Sheldon has such outrageous rules in the RA or keeps track of his bowel movements.

Whatever there is about their personalities and traits is taken to an extreme for comedic effect, including Bernie's temper or competitiveness or whatever.

I don't know where you get "abusive selfish ass" from, as she's usually one of the more level-headed in the group. She's the one who likes Wii and Bippity Boppity Boo.

They bring out her aggressive side as needed, but in general she's a teeny tiny wildebeast.

Only because every othet character has quirks/flaws of the sort doesn't mean that they are all equally good or bad, not even by sitcom standards.

You just can't seriously compare being allergic to almost everything (Leonard) with emotionally abusing your own child for years for the purposes of scientific research (Beverly), not even by sitcom standards. Or drinking alot (Penny) with a desire to inflict physical pain upon others and finding images of graphic violence, albeit a fictional one, as sexually arousing (Emily).

Sure, everything is exaggerated for comedic effect, but you can't justify EVERY flaw with that. And Bernadette, comparing to the other characters or not, is baaaad. I know that most of people will use my logic to criticize Sheldon or Leonard, but Bernadette is bad.

She tried selling TARDIS behind Howard's back. When he agreed to play a game to win it she manipulated with Amy into losing so she could sell it. And that was mere weeks after his mother's death. She yelled at a seven year old boy for losing a game and called him a wuss. She tried manipulating with Leonard and Penny's relationship in order to win the game and even physically assaulted Leonard. She was dead against Howard going to space and later in the series claimed that he would have never accomplished that without her. She had no problems using their money to buy him a Rolex as a gift but went psycho when he used two thousands and five hundred dollars to buy a 3D printer. She almost became violent when Penny and Amy wanted to be a Cinderella. She insulted Stuart for no reason after he shared a possibly traumatic story from his childhood with her.That is just too much for me.

She has a repressed dark side, a bit of an angry little man syndrome but is far from abusive. When she blows her top it's usually justified ( with Howard anyway) and when it's not she apologises - case in point her fight with Amy over the glam magazine cover. If I was married to Howard Wolowitz I'm pretty sure I'd lose it occasionally to!

Bernadette knew what Howard was like and agreed to marry him anyway, so you can't really use that as an excuse. Of course it is understandable for her to get frustrated at times and that he should be progressing faster. But all of that is just too much. They rarely ever show them do anything else but argue and he even seems afraid of her at times. Not to mention that stupid chore chart. I know that Howarf is far from being completely mature, like all the other guys, but he is not a five year old, if you want him to do more things on his own, just stop doing them for him when you don't want to, woman! She is frustrated with him being immature yet she is treating him like a child. Part of that is writer's fault too. I am not one of the people who argue that earlier seasons are perfect but they really started to flanderize Howard in order to make her come off better in comparisson at times, or simply because they would run out of plot ideas. (There is no way that his mother would cut his pancakes for him.)

[Itwasdestined]

Part of that is writer's fault too.

If we are going to down that path, I'd suggest it's not part their fault, it's ALL the Writers fault. 

 

Kills character discussion on the forum if you bring the writers into the debate. These characters aren't real so whatever they do is completely up to the writers. If you want to discuss the faults of characters, you need to suspend belief and not bring the writers into the discussion at all.

 

Anyway, my post never suggested Bernie didn't have issues. I'm just of the opinion you are just overreaching on the severity scale.

 

I think pushing Leonard during Scavenger doesn't quite qualify as physical assault ( in the world of sitcoms anyway. I suppose I wouldn't like a stranger doing that to me in the local comic book store!)

 

She bought the Rolex with HER money BEFORE they were married. Howard spent THEIR money AFTER they were married. If my wife wanted to blow her cash on me during our engagement phase, good luck to her BUT if she blew a few thousand of OUR money now, a great majority of which comes from my occupation, I think I'd want to discuss it and be a touch annoyed if she did it without talking to me about.

 

Definitely closer to my 'angry little man/woman syndrome' analogy rather than close to violence is how I would describe Bernie's behaviour in the car heading to Disneyland but JMHO.

 

Agreed on the Tardis thing. If my missus did that to me, I'd be pissed.

 

Yeah she's a bit nastier in S8 than earlier seasons but she still had some very tender moments during his mum's death as well which you disregard but then I suppose you will suggest that I haven't brought up every one of your examples so yeah.... clock's ticking on the debate moderator's desk so pick and choose either way.

 

Wedding vows say better or worse etc etc. Bernie may have known what she was marrying ( as my wife did) but it doesn't mean you still can lose it when the other half doesn't meet your expectations ( works that way for both of the 'Destineds').

 

Again Bernie has become a bit snarkier but I stay with my opinion she is not abusive. But one round of debate is enough for me. I'm not in it for the win. We've both had our rebuttal opportunity. Good job.

[Stephen Hawking]

She almost became violent when Penny and Amy wanted to be a Cinderella. She insulted Stuart for no reason after he shared a possibly traumatic story from his childhood with her.

 

Not forgetting, she vandalized Amy's car.

 

As for the Tardis, she knew he had collectibles when she married him.

 

She's rather like the woman who marries a motorcyclist, then pressures him to sell the bike.

Edited June 17, 2015 by Stephen Hawking

[lennyx3]

Oh my god..didn't know Bernadette is such a hated character[emoji54]

[Stephen Hawking]

Personally, I think one of the worst things she did, was in the Love Car Displacement, where, instead of comforting and reassuring Howard, she goes off on one, and moves out of their room.

Edited June 17, 2015 by Stephen Hawking

[Itwasdestined]

You're referring to this as Bernadette not comforting/reassuring Howard and going off on one?

Howard: That green bag is Dr. Cooper’s. Here’s an extra five. Make him wait. Oh. Right to the nap, huh? Okay? Uh, so, this Glenn guy. You say you went out with him for, like, a year.

Bernadette: Do we really need to talk about my old boyfriend now?

Howard: No. I guess not. What is he, like, six-four, six-five?

Bernadette: Six-seven.

Howard: Probably has a hard time finding a suit that fits.

Bernadette: Is something bothering you?

Howard: No. It’s just…

Bernadette: What?

Howard: I’m just thinking. If you had sex with that guy, I mean, there’s nothing I can do here that will make any kind of impact.

Bernadette: Howard, it’s not a contest. I love you. I want to be with you.

Howard: Yeah, great, love you, too, but, if it were a contest, I wouldn’t have a chance, right?

Bernadette: You can’t think that way.

Howard: Yep. Loser.

Bernadette: Howard, stop it.

Howard: Sorry. I just never figured that a guy like me going out with a girl like you would ever have to compete with a guy like that.

Bernadette: Wait a minute, a girl like me? What’s that mean?

Howard: I’m… I…

Bernadette: Are you saying you don’t think I’m hot enough to go out with a guy like Glenn?

Howard: No! No, I’m saying exactly the opposite.

Bernadette: I’m too hot to go out with a guy like Glenn?

Howard: Yeah, let’s go with that.

I must be watching a different show because

"Howard, it’s not a contest. I love you. I want to be with you."

"You can’t think that way."

"Howard, stop it"

sounds like a woman telling her man she wants him, loves him and telling him not to put himself down and really wanting that 'nap' with Howard, even after seeing Glenn.

But clearly we are seeing Bernadette differently. I recognize the bad things she does when she does them. You and Mislav appear to interpret bad things in virtually everything she does, even when it's not there. But different strokes for different folks. You don't like Bernadette. Some don't like Sheldon, Leonard, Raj, Howard, Amy, Penny, etc, etc.

I'm out.

Edited June 17, 2015 by Itwasdestined

[Mislav]

I'm not interpreting the bad things in everything that she does, and I didn't even mention or comment on The Love Car Displacement or The Parking Spot Escalation. Can you please tell how my posts on this thread count as interperting something bad in VIRTUALLY EVERYTHING she does? And how is the fact that somebody also hates Sheldon or Leonard or Raj relevant for this discussion?

And, with the risk of stirring the pot, if the gender roles were reversed, I doubt that many people would be as forgiving towards such character or find "the snarkiness" funny. Most of them would likely hope for him to get locked up for spousal/child abuse.

Edited June 17, 2015 by Mislav

[Stephen Hawking]

I recognize the bad things she does when she does them. You and Mislav appear to interpret bad things in virtually everything she does

 

I don't see everything she does as bad.

 

Tricking him out of his Tardis, yes, that was, IMO, very cruel. She knew he had collectibles, when she married him.

 

It was, IMO, doubly cruel, given he had just recently lost his mother.

 

Vandalizing Amy's car is not only bad, but a criminal offence.

 

As for walking out on Howard, in the aftermath of meeting Glenn, Howard's male ego had taken a serious battering (to some men, it can be delicate at the best of times), and she abandoned him to it.

You don't like Bernadette.

 

Actually, I do like her, but sometimes she can be just downright cruel.

Edited June 18, 2015 by Stephen Hawking

[Itwasdestined]

I'm not interpreting the bad things in everything that she does, and I didn't even mention or comment on The Love Car Displacement or The Parking Spot Escalation. Can you please tell how my posts on this thread count as interperting something bad in VIRTUALLY EVERYTHING she does? And how is the fact that somebody also hates Sheldon or Leonard or Raj relevant for this discussion?

And, with the risk of stirring the pot, if the gender roles were reversed, I doubt that many people would be as forgiving towards such character or find "the snarkiness" funny. Most of them would likely hope for him to get locked up for spousal/child abuse.

 

 

I don't see everything she does as bad.

 

Tricking him out of his Tardis, yes, that was, IMO, very cruel. She knew he had collectibles, when she married him.

 

It was, IMO, doubly cruel, given he had just recently lost his mother.

 

Vandalizing Amy's car is not only bad, but a criminal offence.

 

As for walking out on Howard, in the aftermath of meeting Glenn, Howard's male ego had taken a serious battering (to some men, it can be delicate at the best of times), and she abandoned him to it.

 

Actually, I do like her, but sometimes she can be just downright cruel.

I'll admit I fell victim to the same exagerration I accused you both of by saying VIRTUALLY EVERYTHING. Accept my apologies for overstating your Bernie concerns.

 

Mislav, I think I just threw you in from recollection of having a few gripes throughout this thread as I've read it over time. I should have done some fact checking. mea culpa. Having said that,"She is an abusive selfish ass" sort of stuck in my mind when I read it and again without checking I had in my mind that in other episode threads this year you weren't happy with her. If I overcooked your view, I meant nothing by it. I was referring to Hawking's posts with my references to said episodes - your name just got tagged on at the end, I guess. I only mentioned the other characters to point out that we all have different views about characters - I don't think it is worth getting hung up about me mentioning them so fleetingly in a post that was very much on topic.

 

Hawking, again I was a bit hyperbolic with 'virtually everything' but you have provided a fairly long list of gripes about Bernie so I responded in that over the top forum mode that I usually don't get caught up in. By the way, I agreed with you on the Tardis, so no need to repeat it in defence - I'm with you on that one!

Still can't agree with you on the Glenn thing though. In my view, your interpretation just doesn't match the dialogue I quoted. But if that is your view, that is your view - you aint changing it and neither am I so we move on. 

 

Having said that, considering Mislav's risky pot stirring about gender reversal, which in my opinion is completely irrelevant to the interpretation from my end, I think that your insistence that Howard's male ego was hurt suggests a bit of gender bias as to why Bernie is such a villain in that instant. She said she loved him, wanted to be with him, was completely into making out and going further in the moment of the Howard meltdown. If he is still having a problem after that, it's all about him, not Bernie leaving. But as I said last post, I'm out. We have different views that aren't changing and I only replied because I wanted to apologise for my exaggeration. Cheers.

[Mislav]

The "abusive selfish ass" comment was regarding some of her behavior, not all of it. But I understand that it can sound both ways. No need to apologize.

Yes, Howard was kind of a jerk in The Love Car Displacement. But later, when he asked her, "How would you feel if you met my ex girlfriend and she was like Angelina Jolie?" she said "Oh come on, Howard, be realistic". So it shows that her views aren't very different. She was upset over him thinking that way about her while she had been thinking the same way about him. Classy.

Yes, Amy was rude in The Parking Spot Escalation but that doesn't give Bernadette the right to be rude back (even more) or destroy her property.

But her behavior was tolerable back then and she would often show her redeeming qualities. She is just a bully now, IMO!

She rarely even stands up for Howard anymore-the dinner with Emily immediately comes to mind-though she did show some decency when his mother's ashes had been lost. It didn't stop her from taking away something that was also important to him mere weeks later for no good reason though.

And what the heck was her problem with TARDIS anyway? Sure, he needs to "grow up", but how does TARDIS have anything to do with that? You can be(come) mature without getting rid of all the nerdy things that you like. Look at Leonard. And the house is big enough for it to be there without causing any difficulties (it had been there for years), even if they were to have children someday (which she wasn't/isn't ready of).

And with the risk of stirring the pot again (Bernadette sure causes a lot of stirring) I've always thought that her behavior in The Stag Convergence was a huge overreaction. Neither did I like Howard thinking of his prior self as someone completely revolting.

I honestly hope that they won't have children. She would be a terrible mother.

Edited June 18, 2015 by Mislav

[Stephen Hawking]

I agreed with you on the Tardis, so no need to repeat it in defence - I'm with you on that one!

 

What about her vandalizing Amy's car?

Edited June 20, 2015 by Stephen Hawking

[Tensor]

What about her vandalizing Amy's car?

 

Do you consider the vandalization worse than the multiple criminal offenses of Amy's?  The Assault on Bernadette and Penny, attempted Battery on Bernadette, and actual Battery on Penny?   

[Mislav]

They were all in the wrong in The Parking Spot Escalation (except for Penny). It is understandable that some actions can bother some fans more than the others, based on the kind of humor they prefer, which character they think came off as worse, who started it, etc. That episode probably isn't the best example, and maybe we should put legal matters aside-though, to explain what I've written the few posts prior, the abusive isn't only a legal term-but Bernadette is incredibly cruel on the show most of the time-it got more severe in seasons seven and eight. In my opinion.

[Tensor]

They were all in the wrong in The Parking Spot Escalation (except for Penny). It is understandable that some actions can bother some fans more than the others, based on the kind of humor they prefer, which character they think came off as worse, who started it, etc. That episode probably isn't the best example, and maybe we should put legal matters aside-

That was my whole point.  Why concentrate on Bernadette's  criminal offenses, when others in the episode also could be hit up for criminal offenses (Howard, Battery, Breaking and Entering,  Sheldon, Theft, criminal mischief)  

 

though, to explain what I've written the few posts prior, the abusive isn't only a legal term-but Bernadette is incredibly cruel on the show most of the time-it got more severe in seasons seven and eight. In my opinion.

 

To quote a wise member here:

 

It is understandable that some actions can bother some fans more than the others, based on the kind of humor they prefer, which character they think came off as worse, who started it, etc.

I would say this also applies to interpretations of character's actions, i.e. whether Bernadette is cruel. You may think so, but Itwas doesn't think so, and all of it is good.

[Mislav]

That was my whole point. Why concentrate on Bernadette's criminal offenses, when others in the episode also could be hit up for criminal offenses (Howard, Battery, Breaking and Entering, Sheldon, Theft, criminal mischief)

To quote a wise member here:

I would say this also applies to interpretations of character's actions, i.e. whether Bernadette is cruel. You may think so, but Itwas doesn't think so, and all of it is good.

Well yes, but I just wanted to explain my reasons for disliking Bernadette-that was the point of several previous posts... I wasn't the one who mentioned legal matters. I've never said that nobody is entitled to not find her cruel (just saying). And again, I still have a right to discuss the reasons other people list for finding her not to be cruel, just like they have the right to discuss mine for feeling the other way. Acknowledging that everyone has a different opinion does not diminish the discussion, regardless of the topic.

And yes I have nothing against crude humor at times but Bernadette's dark side had really gotten overplayed lately and it is no longer funny-to me. The same with Emily.

[Tensor]

Well yes, but I just wanted to explain my reasons for disliking Bernadette-that was the point of several previous posts... I wasn't the one who mentioned legal matters.

I know, but you answered my post, so I just explained why I posted what I did. No problem

I've never said that nobody is entitled to not find her cruel (just saying). And again, I still have a right to discuss the reasons other people list for finding her not to be cruel, just like they have the right to discuss mine for feeling the other way. Acknowledging that everyone has a different opinion does not diminish the discussion, regardless of the topic.

Of course not, and feel free to discuss anything you want.