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Howard - The Letter From His Father

  

61 members have voted

  1. 1. The real message from Howards dad came from...?

    • Raj
      3
    • Sheldon
      7
    • Amy
      17
    • Penny
      3
    • Leonard
      23
    • Bernadette
      8


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Personally this episode was a kind of emotional (maybe not for everyone taste). Family issues. Father abandonment and son resentful because he cannot figure out why. A bit like dying (disappearing from the planet) without leaving emotional inheritances to cherish as a memory to growth on.

 

Howard, from when he was eleven, had to grow into adulthood without a father role model presence (just his mother to support him emotionally) No wonder he has detached himself completely from wanting to know who his father was. As far as he was concerned, if it was some heartfelt apology about abandoning his wife and son, Howard didn’t want to give his father the blessing of an apology. If was something else, Howard didn’t need it. He even burned the letter At the same time, his nerd friends (each of them) tried to make out a hint of what a father might have said to him in that letter, given the sudden circumstance of his disappearance.

 

To make the process of revealing what the letter content was they organize a story telling game for Howard during a get-together. A map of Goonies guess from Sheldon is offered to Howard or else a strange spy-like fiction story from Penny, a maternal wishful thought from Bernadette, a father-like version from Leonard <saying that family is the most important thing and not to be thrown away just like that>. From Raj that it was a simple card for the 18th birthday to Howard. Whereas from Amy an appearance of his father in the auditorium  on the day Howard graduated.

 

In hearing each one of them out, Howard response to his friends is that he feels terrific and doesn’t want to know and wish all their stories to be true. Leonard replies one is!

 

Finally I think I do not want to know either. From time to time of my life, I’d like to imagine what my father was like. Doesn’t not mean I do not care. It’s just because each one of us has his own story to tell.

 

There was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Inside of the dullest exterior there is a drama, a comedy and a tragedy.”
(Mark Twain, The refuge of the Derelicts 1905)

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I have something similar, my father disappeared when I was very young around the time when I was about 8 and only reappeared many years later with some bull crap excuses to try and justify himself, I told him where to go and exactly what I thought of him, you can't miss what you never had after all

Edited by rachygd

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I have something similar, my father disappeared when I was very young around the time when I was about 8 and only reappeared many years later with some bull crap excuses to try and justify himself, I told him where to go and exactly what I thought of him, you can't miss what you never had after all

 

While I mostly agree with you since I went through a similar situation (he left when I was 2 and then tried to come back into my life when I was 17) I must say that I did indeed miss what I never had, because I would have liked to have had it in the first place. I did need him growing up. Well, not him specifically, I mean a father...

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I think the point was that Howard's friends realised how upset he was, that they had acted against his very personal wishes. They showed their regret, and love, by giving him, many possible, and positive responses(unfortunately Sheldon had actually read the letter, and so was excluded from this, i.e.if he had given a possible, it may have been the believable one). I think the point is for him not to choose any, but accept all. That was the solution they chose, and we should accept it. I know it's difficult (I recieved a letter like this, and was afraid to open it, for so long), but we never really know the whole truth, and things were probably more complex, than we imagine. I decided the best response, was to decline to meet, but send him my love, and best wishes. Don't be too hard on your fathers, I'm sure they did the best they could, and I'm sure they love you, like Howard's father loves him.  

Edited by gaqo

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I believe that Bernadette's version is the real one...
 
Why?
 
First: when Sheldon was organizing the letters, he  said to howard: "based on the content of this letter"
Later on the episode: Howard said to Bernadette: Sheldon did an amazing job, Look: Howard's pictures before his father left him...
And then Bernadette's version is the only one the mentions a picture in the content
 
Second: Bernadette said something like this to Penny: What kind of wife would i be if i lie to him, or something like that... then i think the she felt guilty by asking sheldon to reveal the content of the letter, she wouldn't "lie" to howard about this letter again, so her version is the real one

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