phantagrae Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 Okay, guys, I have some questions. I mentioned to some folks that I was playing around with writing a post-Locomotive (or post SIK, anyway) little fic. I guess I'm mostly kind of exploring what might be going on in Sheldon's head from the moment he kisses her until maybe the next evening when he talks to Leonard. I'm not sure how far I want to go with it. Well, I had come up with some stuff that I sent to my sister and she kind of popped my balloon... Now, I appreciate her writing skills and her sense of timing (like when certain things might bog down the storytelling, etc.), but I'm not sure how I feel about her take on this. So this is part of what she said, with my thoughts at the end: I guess I feel like it is risky to re-write an event that was already filmed. I know you were trying to get Sheldon's feelings about the whole thing. But the scene itself is so perfect that I didn't really want to confuse it with too much detail. I guess the more interesting thing for me is the rest, what happened in the gaps that the show left. And if you think of the brilliance of the writers, they left all that stuff out because it would make that kiss scene lose it's charge if too much is explained. They left it and just got Sheldon's "recap" to Leonard later. And maybe that's really where you should take your cue. He gets home and that kiss that we all make such a big deal over is just one thing in a list for him. And that is the real him. If you took your fic and stuck in the story, then the scene back at the apartment would be incongrous. You know what I mean? I do feel like the work itself is a little redundant. And too complex for these two. I don't think Sheldon is that complex. I understand the awakening that you are trying to convey, but I think it is way too fast. What would interest me more is Amy's evolution and her expectation. She is the one that has really dramatically changed over the years. Sheldon is changing, but he's like the melting glaciers or the tectonic plates. Oh sure, that mountain is there because of two tectonic plates shifting, we say, like we can see it happen, but you know it took millions of years. Dramatic change, yes, but so slow you can't really see it. That's Sheldon. So what is it like to be his girlfriend? What is it like to look at that mountain every day and think maybe it grew an inch today???? That would be more interesting to me. Sheldon is adorable and interesting, but he is adorable and interesting because he doesn't really move, no matter what the rest of us think. Everyone else must adjust to him. So what is that like for Amy? You know she's gonna be reeling over that kiss and though she doesn't really know how it "goes", she, as a human, is going to be expecting, oh, now things are gonna change. But we see from the scene with Leonard that it hasn't really. So how is she going to deal with that? That's my $.02 So... While I do think she makes a good point about Amy's perspective being an interesting one, you know me. I'm all about getting inside Shelly's head. So, maybe I'll try to write something from Amy's POV at some point, but for now, I'm still interested in what was going on in Sheldon's mind. Apart from my bad habit of redundancy (I'm the Manager of The Department of Redundancy Department), what I was trying to work through was what he was thinking, because despite the matter-of-fact-ness of his recap to Leonard, we SEE in that moment that he's thrown for a loop, that the kiss does affect him. That it basically shuts his mouth (no pun intended) on the whole you tricked me/let's have "romance" tirade. He goes all shy and quiet for a reason, and being the thinking person that he is, he's got to be thinking something. Maybe not in the absolute moment of the kiss, but certainly once he breaks it. I think that the writers don't detail everything for a reason, but a lot of that is that it's a different medium. On TV you have to show, not tell, and that swallow, and the quietness of his invitation to her, etc., was the showing. But we do know that after that train ride, they got to Napa, listened to the banjo-playing engineer, spent the night, then returned (by train, presumably) to Pasadena--and it was evening when Sheldon returned to the apartment. So somewhere in that trip, he went from the heat of that moment of the kiss to listening to the banjo playing, to coolly assessing his experiences. So, for me, I'm interested in that mental/emotional/maybe physical journey. What does he think about when they get to the lodge? Does Amy join him for the banjo music? Do they kiss again? How is the train trip back home? I feel like he's in a bit of a dreamy fog immediately after the kiss, but he's back to himself, more or less, when he talks to Leonard. To me, there's a story there. Yes, they're not going to show that in the episode, because that's not really the point of the episode (the time in Napa), but it's still part of the background story. And while he didn't jump out immediately and say that kissing Amy was his favorite event, I think that's partly the function of the punchline, since he obviously, as we know, puts kissing on Date Night into the RelAg. Anyway, what say you all? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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