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THIS PAGE IS STILL UNDER CONSTRUCTION. * Indicates completed episodes.  ** Indicates Episodes are not complete, but have links to the report.

Links to the Taping Reports. Click on the Episode Title.

Edited by Tensor
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6.01 The Date Night Variable
Reported by Moyra and Megfsc
Tape Date: August 14, 2012; Air Date:September 27, 2012
Story:         Bill Prady, Eric Kaplan, Steve Holland,
Teleplay:    Steve Molaro, Jim Reynolds, Maria Ferrari


The report by Moyra and one by megfsc





Edited by Tensor

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6.03 The Higgs Boson Observation

Report by Kyzzx

Okay, so! Made it in, despite the confusion.

I'll do this as best I can. My memory is different from day to day. I might be missing some bits and pieces, but it's the general idea.

* Howard is still in space.

* This episode was more relationship-based than the previous two. The last two have been great in terms of being similar to seasons 1-3, this had a season 4 vibe to it.

* Stuart was not in this one at all.

* No guests other than Margo.

* Less substance, but some REALLY funny lines.

[L/S apartment]

Leonard and Sheldon are hanging out. Penny comes knocking and walks in with a box that's from Sheldon's mom, labeled "Shelly's preschool." It's a bunch of his pre-nursery "work" that he did as a child, which of course all sounds really smart. It's just a bunch of composition books with his research in it.

He says since the Higgs Boson took about 50 years to get recognized as being "true," he thought that maybe he's already made some scientific breakthrough with stuff he did as a kid. He wants someone to read everything over because his time is 'too important' to do it himself. He looks at Leonard. Leonard is like, "fuck no."

Penny says, "Maybe I can do it!" and Sheldon does his, "...really? REALLY?" and Leonard says that maybe he should just hire a grad student as his assistant. He likes the idea.

[university offices/hall]

Sheldon is interviewing a potential candidate (who he does 'hire'). This is Alex (Margo Harshman, who is just too cute, I may add). The banter between them is cute, and he says, "Flattery will get you nowhere." and she says, "It's not flattery if it's true." and he takes her in.

[scene of Howard webchatting with Bernadette]

The capsule that's supposed to come get the astronauts is delayed and he will have to be in space for another 7-10 days, but he's at the point where he almost can't take it any more and is having bad anxiety attacks. He says hilarious stuff in some of the clips. I don't want to give it all away. We don't hear Howard's mother at all, either.

[Penny's apartment]

Amy and Penny are sitting around doing makeup for not particular reason. Amy puts on some nice lip gloss and says, "Yep, I'm a man-eater now." She pulls out her phone to voice chat Sheldon and tells Penny, "If my new look leads to phone sex, I'm going to have to ask you to leave the room."

However, Alex answers the facetime chat and Amy is confused, but Alex takes a message. Penny asks what's wrong and Amy says that Sheldon told her his new assistant was Alex, but she didn't know it was a girl. Penny says, "Maybe he didn't notice."

Amy reveals she's jealous of Alex because she's good looking. Penny says she's got nothing to worry about because it's Sheldon.

Amy still isn't at ease, so Penny and Amy go to the university because Amy kinda wants to semi-spy on them. They see Margo, Sheldon, Raj, and Leonard sitting at a table in the cafeteria, and Margo is flirting with Leonard.

Amy says, "You're right, I don't have to worry. That skank is your problem, not mine."

I want to make it clear that Leonard was NOT interested/reciprocating at all. Penny wasn't even irrationally upset like she normally gets.

Amy points out that she might be flustered because now she sees Leonard as more desirable.

[L/S apartment]

Penny and Leonard are hanging out and Penny keeps asking how Leonard's day was, seeing if he mentions anything about the assistant. Alex and Sheldon come in the door and Penny introduces herself and Alex asks how she knows Leonard. She says, "We're kinda involved in this 5-year experiment." and Alex replies, "You're very lucky, he's really great and I know a lot of people would want to work with him." and Penny says, "Well, a lot of people can't." as she takes Leonard's hand and excuses them for what we can assume is sexy time.

Then there's a little interaction between Sheldon and Alex and then a small clip of Howard in space, and that's it.

There was no indication that she was going to break up with him at any time in the episode. Could have been changed last minute, or they changed the script. But no, that wasn't said. I might be going too deep with this, but I think they are comparing the Higgs Boson thing to Penny and Leonard. That even after all this time, it's "true." Maybe not, though.

Sheldon and Amy didn't see each other in the episode, if I remember correctly.

Raj was in there. He's walking with Leonard when they walk into Sheldon's office to find he has a new assistant. He's also sitting with them in the cafeteria, but that was it.

Bernadette wasn't in any scenes that were filmed yesterday. All the scenes where she is chatting with Howard were taped the day before (Monday).

No one could get through an entire scene this evening. EVERYONE messed up at least once. It was a lot compared to what I've seen. Even Margo messed up and Kaley was like, "It's okay, we all do it!"

Some of the lines were so funny, the actors couldn't hold themselves together and they would have to start over.

Edited by Tensor

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6.04 The Re-Entry Minimization

Report by  DeadeyeShark

Last year I considered myself extremely lucky to get tickets to see a recording of BBT (Good Guy Fluctuation), simply because it is the hardest TV show ticket to get ahold of, the audience is only 150, and the number of people on standby is more than double. So, to get guaranteed tickets once again was a little surreal.

Anyway, we were arrived in line about half an hour before the recording was due to start, knowing from previous experience the standbys would be separated from the guaranteed tickets, we didn't get there super early (baking in he LA sun is no fun). We were then herded into an area and told to wait before being taken across the road by a guide into the depths of Warner studios. The show is recorded in Studio 25 (just facing 24 which is the old Friends studio). If you are planning anything like this the studio security is tighter than that of an airport, two body scanners, patted down and all bags are checked - forget taking in any cameras or phones.

The set is very intimate and directly in front were a couple of familiar sets and some not so familiar. Raj's apartment, the hall with broken lift, Sheldon's lounge and Howard/Bernadette's bedroom (very girlyfied - no sign of the famous crossed light sabres anymore).

The MC, Mark Sweet, whipped the audience up and started moving things along nicely. First thing was to watch an earlier recorded episode which has yet to air, we were not told the title or which episode it was, I presume episode 2. It went something like.....

This episode had two main threads, one concentrating on the treatment of Howard (Fruit Loop) in the Space Station from his fellow astronauts, some genuinely funny moments. The other was Penny telling Amy and Bernadette she was thinking about splitting up with Leonard, then Amy recounting this to Sheldon, who as you know cannot keep a secret - while this was funny it felt like a rehash of an earlier episode. Also, there was the introduction of Stuart as a regular cast member, who is gradually accepted into the group. Not the best Big Bang episode, but not the worst either.

Next up was the live action filming, the cast are introduced at the start, everyone at this point is on their feet going wild. During filming members of the audience are dragged forward to participate in games, singing, dancing - all between takes, it keeps the atmosphere lively if nothing else. As an added bonus, I noticed a group in the audience all wearing the same tees, I had assumed they were just BBT fans, however they were introduced as the team who landed the recent Rover on Mars...! Very cool. One of them explained they control the camera on the rover which brought applause from cast, crew and audience. Anyway, back to the episode......

This I believe is episode 3, called the re-entry minimisation. 

This starts off with Howard returning from the Space Station and re-entering the atmosphere, a really funny moment when the parachute is deployed, brought a lot of laughter from the audience.

Three stories drive this episode, Howard arriving home, Stuart taking Howard's place in the Howard/Raj bromance. First up, Howard returning home, when he arrives at the airport he thinks he's being greeted by a crowd of people - who are actually there to see a celebrity, I think called Howie Mendel. It turns out that just Bernadette is there to see him, no mom (unsurprisingly) and none of his friends. Bernadette tells Howard she told his friends to stay away because she wanted him all to herself, however Bernadette has a bad cold, so the planned evening of passion doesn't quite go as planned, Bernadette passes out after taking a cold remedy. Howard then goes to see his mom and can't get into he house, the door is locked and it turns out Howard's mom is having an affair with his dentist (who tries to escape out of the side window). Howard then goes to see Raj who is now living with Stuart and sees he has more or less taken his place, he then leaves and goes to a diner. Feeling dejected his spirits are lifted when the waitress recognises him, but then shows little interest in listening to his problems, Howard then starts to sneeze (catching a cold from Bernadette).

The story between Sheldon, Penny, Amy and Leonard is a competition, boys vs girls. I should add that the actress who plays Amy was involved in a serious road accident which damaged her right hand, this was strapped up and kept out of sight during filming. the competition starts with Pictionary, Sheldon confuses polish with Polish and continues along that theme as he and Leonard lose game after game which also includes blind where's Waldo and dizzy light sabre maths. All this culminates in a pie eating contest which was done in one take - you'll see why when it airs!

During one of the takes the actors who play Penny and Leonard came up and talked to the audience to thank us for coming and how much they appreciated the support. The only cast member not to acknowledge the audience was Jim Parsons, nor did he sign any autographs. Filming took about four hours, with a drink and pizza break midway through (provided by the studio).

Speaking of which, having previously been at a recording I knew the drill once the show was over, make my way down to the front ASAP, which I did. There I got autographs from and chatted to Penny, Howard, Raj and Stuart. Amazing - and really capped the day off. 

I would say this was an excellent episode, but not having seen it edited together I may view it differently when it airs, but all in all season 6 is shaping up really well.

Edited by Tensor

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6.07 The Habitation Configuration

Report by Kyzzx

Arright, here it goes! I hope that someone else has a report because I don't remember exact dialogue, but it's 95%+ accurate. If I wasn't sure, I left it out.

6.7 - The Habitation Configuration

The episode opens up with Sheldon sitting on the couch and the "Fun With Flags" whiteboard behind him. Amy is filming.

"Hi, I am Dr. Sheldon Cooper. And welcome to this episode of Sheldon Cooper's Fun With Flags. First, I'd like to announce the winner of the design-your-own-flag contest, but I can't. The only entry was from GameyGamer75, and... I know that was a .jpg of your buttocks. Anyway, today we're going to talk about different flags from a very popular sci-fi TV franchise, Star Trek. To help me, I am pleased to introduce an internet personality, the only guy I know to be immortalized into a 1/16th scale figurine - [pulls out tiny, tiny action figure] set phasers to fun! My friend, Wil Wheaton."

Wil walks in and sits down and starts to talk about a flag. "Thanks, Sheldon, I'm happy to be h-"

Amy yells, "Cut!"

"What's wrong?"

"Sheldon, you were brilliant as always, but Wil, that was... a little wooden. Say it how people would normally sound."

They try again, multiple times, and Amy yelling cut every time. Wil finally says, "You know, I AM an actor." and she says, "Well, good, then more like a real boy, less Pinocchio!" He replies, "I am doing this for free, right?" and Amy snaps back, "Well, yeah, so far we aren't getting our moneys' worth."

He tries one more time, and is overacting hysterically. Amy calls him out on doing it on purpose, and he says, "Problem, first time director?" and she says, "You're overacting on purpose!" and Wil turns to Sheldon and says, "She's kind of being a pain in the ass."

She says, "Are you going to let him speak to me like that?"

Sheldon looks down, he's clearly confused on what to do. He says, "Well, you're my girlfriend, and I don't want you to be upset. But, Wil, you're my friend, and I don't want you to be upset." Amy asks if she can have a minute with him. They walk over to the kitchen area and she says, "If this is such a problem why don't you just ask me to leave?" and he says, "Oh! Could you? That would solve everything!" and he says, flirtatiously, "You are the BEST. See you at dinner tonight?" and Amy said, "Wouldn't you just rather have dinner with your friend Wil Wheaton?!" and he says, "Oh, well, yeah, as a matter of fact I would. You, little lady, are on fire!" (Jim is such a natural flirt, he just OWNS this scene.)

Now we're in Howard's room with Howard and Bernadette. Howard asks Bernadette if she wants to stay the night and she gets upset and says, "You said when you came back from space you were going to move in with me!" and he says, "I will, I will." As this is going on, Howard's mom is asking him if he has any laundry, and he says, "THERE'S UNDERWEAR IN THE HAMPER!" and his mom says, "OH! I CAN USE THAT STAIN STICK I BOUGHT." Howard says, "Okay, okay, I see what you mean. I will pack up my stuff this weekend and I will move in with you." Bernadette thanks him and they hug.

Back in Leonard and Sheldon's apartment, Leonard is on his laptop, Sheldon comes in and Leonard says, "Ohhh, lookit you, big boy out after dark." and he replies, "Yes, I was out raising heck with Wil Wheaton. Four more hours and we would have closed down that Hometown Buffet. Oh, the person working there recognized Wil, and gave us special treatment and sat us right next to the frozen yogurt machine!"


"RIGHT next to it! I was closer to it than I am to you right now. You know, it really reminds me of my hometown. We also have a Hometown Buffet."

"I thought you were going out with Amy."

"We were but she got mad and stormed out so I went out with Wil Wheaton because they don't like each other."

"They had a fight?"

"Oh yeah, a real (big word I can't really place, it sounds like scuffle, but not)."

"You should call her. It will do a lot. She's probably mad at you."

Sheldon insists he's wrong and sits down to initiate a Skype call. She answers, "What?" and he says, "Leonard has a ridiculous notion that you're mad at me. Tell him he's wrong. Tell him that's not true."

"Sheldon, I AM mad at you. I'm your girlfriend and you didn't stand up for me. You should have. That's it. End of story. Good night." and she hangs up.

"Wow. Amy is mad and Leonard is right. ...what a weird day."

Howard and Bernadette are at the Cheesecake Factory and Penny is waiting on them. The food comes and she's like, "Sorry it took so long, but you worked here, Bernadette, you know how it is."

"Oh, is the kitchen slammed again?"

"No, I'm just a horrible waitress." She walks away.

Howard brings up a point that he might not be able to move that weekend and Bernadette asks him what his excuse is. Penny overhears it and says, "Bernadette, it will probably never happen." and she agrees, "I'm starting to think you're right."

He says, "Don't you have other tables?"

And she says, "Yeah, but I already said it, I'm horrible at my job."

Howard gets upset and says, "I am a grown man. I have a very successful career, I've done great things, I've been in space, and I am a grown man so I will move out whenever I'm ready, WHENEVER I SAY I'M READY."

Penny is like, "Woah." and leaves.

Howard leans in and says, "That was just for her benefit, I'll move out tomorrowIloveyoupleasedon'tleaveme!"

Sheldon is heading to Amy's apartment with a gift bag. He knocks.

*knock knock knock* Amy.

*knock knock knock* Amy.

*knock knock knock* Sad Amy...

She opens and asks what he wants. He says, "I am sorry about earlier, but I brought something I think you will like." and he hands her a Star Trek DVD box set. "Why would I want this?"

"See, you don't know who you were insulting earlier because you haven't seen it and aren't able to appreciate it. Get ready for 130 hours of I-told-you-so!"

She shoves it back in his hand and slams the door. He stands there, innocently, and looks at the door. "Fine, I'll just tell you what happens. Ahem. Episode 1. Fade in. The new Enterprise-"

She opens the door, snatches the box set, and slams the door again. He's taken by surprised, but then chuckles, "She's hooked." and leaves.

The next day, Leonard and Raj are packing up Howard's room and the last thing he's taking off his walls are his lightsabers. The room is bare.

"Man, if these walls could talk." he says.

Leonard chimes in, "They would ask, 'why does he touch himself so much?'"

Howard looks down. "Yeeahhhhhhhh." He takes a breath, "I can't believe I'm finally moving out. This has always been MY room. Like, I remember how my mom used to measure my height by the door."

Leonard walks over to the door. "Oh, yeah, look. 4th grade, 5th grade, 6th grade... 7th grade, 8th grade, 9th grade..." The 4th, 5th, and 6th grade lines are inches apart, but the 7th, 8th, and 9th grade lines are all like, a millimeter apart. It was funny.

Howard adds, "And I remember hiding under this desk on Halloween with all my candy when I was 5. I had some Peanut M&Ms and went into my first anaphylactic shock. Then I was rushed to the hospital. When I came back, I celebrated with a Snickers. ...went into my second anaphylactic shock."

Raj asks, "When did you figure out you're allergic to nuts?"

"Eh, probably after the 3rd Almond Joy..."

Leonard asks if he's ready to put everything in the truck and he says, "Yeah, but can you do me a favor? Can you go ahead so I can just have another moment alone in my old room?"

Leonard says, "We're not waiting for you in the Uhaul while you fondle yourself."

"...okay, let's go."

Penny is working at the Cheesecake Factory bar and Sheldon comes in. She asks what brings him there and he asks, "Penny. Can I talk to you about girls?"

She has this straight face and says, "I know this talk would probably happen sooner or later. Are you getting fuzz in weird places?"

He snaps back, "For your information I've had a full pubis since I was 19."

"For your information, BLEHHHH."

He says he's had a rough day. She asks what he wants to drink. He says, "Usually I'm okay with camomile tea, but I just don't think it's gonna cut it."

"Well, how about a Long Island iced tea?" (everyone knows what's going on but him)

She serves it up and he takes a sip and REALLY likes it, then he drinks the ENTIRE thing through a straw (Jim can really put down liquid, holy shit).

Penny is like, omg, and tells him to pace himself. She says, "Well then then what's the problem?"

"Well the problem is I'm out of iced tea. [pause] Wil Wheaton and Amy don't like each other. I don't understand why. I like both of them. They both like me. Why don't they like each other? I mean, I like both of them which means they are bright and interesting. And/or in Star Trek."

Penny says, "You can't make people like each other."

He says, "That's not true. Leonard made me like you. That was a hard road." (this was more heartfelt than condescending)

She makes him another tea and he just chugs it.

He tells Penny about how Wil insulted Amy and Penny says, "You're from Texas, right? Don't you guys stand up for your women-folk?"

"Penny. Please, I think I've outgrown that homage from my homeland."


"But that low-down polk hat done wronged my woman."

"...darn tootin' he did."

"But Amy is wonderful. You know, when we get the deluxe party mix she eats all the Brazil nuts so I don't have to look at them. She's the perfect blend of saint and squirrel."

"That she is."

Sheldon looks down, sad. "I'm the Brazil nut of boyfriends."


"Oh, Penny. If I don't straighten up she's going to leave me. She's going to leave me for a smooth-talking cashew."

"She won't leave you."

"Ha, you're right, I'm great."

Drunk Sheldon stumbles his way onto Wil Wheaton's porch and walks to his door.

*knock knock knock* WIL WHEATON.

*knock knock knock* WIL WHEATON.

"...how many was that?"

Wil opens the door. "Sheldon, what brings you here? Have you been drinking?"

"No, just iced tea. BEST iced tea I've ever had." (He's jittery and clearly slurring. Jim did an amazing job of acting drunk, he's so talented.)

"What... what are you doing here?"

"I'm from Texas. 'Nuff said."

"...no, more would be helpful..."

"TWO. IT WAS TWO." *knock knock knock* "WIL WHEATON! You insulted my woman, and I am here to defend her honor."

Sheldon puts up his fists like he's going to fight. "Brace yourself for what may come."

"Sheldon, do you think we're going to fight?

"Well, I don't have my fists in the air because I'm milking a large, invisible cow."

"Okay, Sheldon. Here it is. I'm sorry."

He puts down his fists. "Oh. That was a long bus ride for not very much."

He stumbles and has to put his hand on the wall.

"Sheldon, are you okay?"

"No, no, I'm really not. Out of idle curiosity, which one of your shrubbery do you think would benefit from a thorough vomiting? No, wait, I'll choose." then he walks over to the porch rail and throws up.

In Bernadette's apartment, Howard walks in with the last box and says he's finally moved in completely. He tells Bernadette it'll be hard on his mom. He goes into a really heartfelt story about how he's all his mom had after his dad left. He said, "She's the real reason I got into magic. I would put on magic shows for her in the livingroom and she would watch. Halfway through my act I would ask if I could have a beautiful volunteer from the audience and she would come up every time and just smile so big. For those few minutes, she would just smile and forget about how lonely she was."

So Bernadette goes, "Aw, CRAP. Get a box and let's go."


"We're staying at your mom's tonight!"

"But I want to live here?"

"YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID THAT BEFORE YOU TOLD ME THE MAGIC STORY. No husband of mine is going to break his mother's heart!" and they leave.

Back in the L/S apartment the next day, Sheldon and Amy are trying Fun with Flags again.

"Hello, welcome to Dr. Sheldon Cooper's Fun With Flags. Get ready for a great episode - today we're going to be talking about the different flags from a popular science fiction TV show, Star Trek, with my special guest, who surprisingly was fine with gas money and a promise of a free lunch, Mr. LeVar Burton."

LeVar Burton comes out and sits on the couch. "Thanks Sheldon, we've got some pretty interesting flags here-"

"CUT!" Amy yells. "He's worse than Wil Wheaton."

Look of pure terror on Sheldon's face. He whispers, "That's not true, but I'm obligated to agree with her, she's my girlfriend." and he says, "Oh, I hear you, brother. I'm still getting lunch though, right?"

Jim giggled a lot in this episode. He and Mayim couldn't hold it together at some parts, but I really liked this one. I think it showed growth, in a weird way.

Additional report by Musikat18

Edited by Tensor

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6.08 The 43 Peculiarity




Report by


6.8 - "The 43 Peculiarity"



It opens up with the four guys sitting in the cafeteria near the vending machine area. Sheldon is drawing on a napkin while the others are eating and they are curious. Leonard asks what he is drawing and he eagerly answers, "It's my design for a frisbee-sized wormhole that I would use to look into a parallel universe where there might be alien life." Howard gives a blank stare. "Oh, you silly little doodle-bug."


Leonard chimes in. "You know, some scientists say that if we did come in contact with other life forms it could end very badly for us."

Sheldon answers, "It's a frisbee-sized wormhole, Leonard... you can cover it with a frisbee." He puts up his hand. "Calm down."


Sheldon hands Howard the napkin and stands up. Howard looks at it, looks up and says, "What? Do you expect me to build this?" Sheldon snaps back, "No, I expect you to wipe the pudding off your chin. Afternoon, gentlemen." Then he walks away and down the hall.


Howard brings something up. He says, "Isn't it strange that Sheldon leaves the cafeteria every day at exactly 2:45?" and they both say, "Huh. That is strange." Raj says, "Maybe he's going to the bathroom?" Leonard immediately knows this is not the answer and says, "No, no... he goes to the bathroom at 7:30am and the occasional bathroom break at 1:45pm and then at 7pm on high-fiber Fridays."

Howard and Raj both look at him. Raj says, "It's sad that you know that." Leonard looks down at his salad and picks at it. "It's just the tip of the sad iceberg..."

Howard is looking at his phone at Sheldon's 'public calendar.' "I want to find out what he's doing. There's nothing on his public calendar from 2:45 to 3:05 every day. Nothing today... nothing yesterday... last week. Nothing last month?! We should find out what he's doing!"


Raj gets excited. "Ooooooh! This is so exciting!"


Later in Penny's apartment, she's sitting at the kitchen island and he's making a pot of tea. The kettle whistles, and he moves it off. She's texting with someone and you keep hearing the texting noises as she's receiving them. "How's work?" she asks. He answers, "Oh, good. [insert something highly scientific I can't remember, it's something about creating crystals for neutrinos - I really wish I remembered what this was, sorry]." as he's opening the refrigerator.


Penny stares off for a second. Quickly says, "That sounds like fun." but you can tell she's uneasy because she has noooo idea what that means. He turns around, smiles, and says, "Yeah, it was!" and she replies, "Oh good, I guessed right!"

Penny gets a text, reads it, and laughs. Leonard asks what's up and who she is talking to. She says it's just a guy from school.

Straight faced - "We're still dating, right?" She sighs. "We're just partners in class and we're doing an oral report together."

"What? I'm sorry, I didn't hear anything after that, I heard 'oral' and had a stroke."

She says, "Oh god, don't be weird! He's my partner in class and just moved here from London and has no friends.

"Ohhhhh, great. An English accent, that's the sexiest kind of accent you can have!"

"No, no, that's not true! There's French... and Italian... and... no, no, you're right, they're the best."


"Well, does he know you have a boyfriend?"


"Why not?"

"I dunno, it never came up."

"Well tell him that you do."

"What do you want me to say?"

"Oh, I dunno. Say, 'Hey I can't talk right now, I'm hanging out with my boyfriend. England sucks, you suck, USA number one!"

She looks at him ridiculously. "All right." she says, and starts texting him, and she reads her text out loud. "Hanging out with my boyfriend I'll talk to you later."


She gets a fast reply. She looks at it and goes, "Hmph." and he says, "What did he say?"

She reads it out loud. "Did your boyfriend make you type that?"


Leonard stands there in silence. "I hate this guy." Penny says, "Oh, then I should tell you, and you probably won't be happy about it, but he's coming over so we can work on the project together."


"Yeah, but if it'll reallllly make you feel better, I can change partners even though the project is due next week and everyone already has a partner and then it won't get done and I'll probably end up failing the class."

Leonard starts to pour tea. "That would be great, thanks!"


Outside Sheldon's office door, Raj and Howard are waiting for him to come out. Sheldon comes out and Howard whispers to Raj, "2:44, right on schedule!" and they walk up to him. Howard says, "Hey, Sheldon." He responds with a cheery "Hello!"

Howard says, "Hey, we're going down to the genetics lab to pet the glow-in-the-dark bunny. Want to come?"

"No thanks."

Raj adds, "Are you sure? You turn off the lights and it's like a cute laser show that poops everywhere."

"I'm sure, I'm fine."

"Where are you going?"

"That way." /motions down hall

"We know. But WHERE?"

"...where are you going?"

"We just told you where we were going, Sheldon."

"Well, that's your word against mine. See you in court." He walks off.

Howard turns to Raj, "Don't you want to know where he's going!"

"Yeah, but, now I'm torn... I want to know what he's doing but I kind of want to go play with the bunny..."


Alex walks out of Sheldon's office. "Hi guys!"

"Oh, hi Alex! Do you... have any idea where your boss is going?"

She replies, "No, but I do know that corduroy makes too much noise and now I have to go home and find [she makes quotations with her fingers] 'quieter pants.'" She walks away with a very, very annoyed look. Funny as hell.


Raj and Howard walk the other way. Raj says, "Man. What I would give to get her out of those pants." /pause/ "And into something a liiiittle more stylish."


Down in the university basement, Sheldon unlocks the storage room door and goes in. Howard and Raj pop their heads around the corner and follow.

Howard asks, "What do you think he could be doing in there for 20 minutes a day?"

"Well, he's not doing 20-minute-abs. If he were doing that, he'd have better abs..."


They go up to the door and try to listen to what's inside. They can't hear anything.

Raj gets his face too close to Howard's and Howard says, "Can you face the OTHER way and listen?" "I can't do anything right for you, can I?"

"What do you think he's doing in there?"

Raj answers, "I don't know. He is a weirdo. He could have... Leonard Nimoy chained up in there. Or Bill Gates. Or Stephen Hawking!"

"Why would he chain up Stephen Hawking?"

"Howard! You can't treat a man differently because he's disabled, that's NOT okay!"


In Leonard and Sheldon's apartment, Sheldon is sitting at his laptop. Leonard is looking out the peephole in the door.

Leonard says, "If you're wondering why I'm staring through the peephole it's because this guy from Penny's class is supposed to be here and they're going to work on a project."

Sheldon slowly turns. "To be honest, I didn't even know you were here."

Leonard looks at him, "You know, I don't even know why I'm doing this. I don't understand why I care. You know what, I don't care."

Sheldon says, "Pfft, you don't care..."

Leonard says, "You're right, I have nothing to worry about."

"Not necessarily. Statistically speaking, you have something to worry about."

Leonard stares at him.

"Let's just assume you have average looks. Right off the bat, 50% of men are better looking than you. That's 1.5 billion attractive lads waiting to rain on your parade."

Leonard continues to stare and says, "Looks aren't everything. I excel at lots of things."

"Not at vision, height, athleticism, or digesting dairy products."

Leonard stares.

"I'm not saying you don't have redeeming qualities! You're a good sleeper. More importantly, you buy the grapes I like." He smiles. "You're a catch compared to a snoring man who buys lousy grapes."

Leonard continues to stare more, as it's getting more ridiculous. He says nothing is going to happen while Cole is over there.


Sheldon says, "Not necessarily. He may be a hypnotist. She could be performing sexual acts with him, and not even know it."

Leonard stares intently, like 'why would you say that?' sort of thing.

Sheldon adds, "He could be having the time of his life while she thinks she's a chicking pecking for corn."

Leonard looks at him in disbelief at what he just said. Sheldon starts slowly bobbing his head up and down, ever so slightly.


In the university basement hallway again, Raj and Howard are walking up to the door. Raj says, "Look at us, sneaking around at night... like a couple of cat burglars!"

"Ha, or ninjas."

"I want to be a cat burglar."

"Fine... I'll be a ninja, you be a cat burglar."

"No! We have to be the same thing..."


"Fine, we can be ninjas."

"...thank you."



Howard jiggles the handle. "It's locked. I'll have it open in no t-"

"Are you sure?"

He blinks. "Yes. I'm sure. Now go over there and stand wat-"

Raj quickly reaches for the knob and jiggles it.


"Yeahhhh... it's locked."


Howard kneels down, pulls out his wallet and pulls out something to pick the lock with. "How'd you learn how to pick locks?"

"When I was younger. When I learned magic. Before I wanted to be an escape artist. It worked. I escaped from all my friends, popularity, and any party within a 12 mile radius."

The door opens. Howard wants to walk in but Raj stops him. "Sheldon is a smart man. What if it's booby-trapped?"

Howard says, "Ah, I'm already a step ahead of him."

"Really? What's your plan-"

Howard SHOVES him in the door and waits to hear what happens. Silence.

"Good in there?!"

Long silence. Little voice... "Yeah..."


They go inside the room. It's a small room, probably 6'x8'. There's nothing but a tiny table, brick walls, and a chalkboard. All it says is "43" on it. "Huh, look at that. I wonder what that means."

"43? That's what he's doing down here?"

Raj says, "Well, 43 is a prime number. Prime numbers are usually used for encryptions."

"Yes, but what does Sheldon need to encrypt?"

"Well, he's always been a little cagey at what the ingredients are that he puts in his egg salad that makes it so tasty..."

Howard looks at the floor, like Raj is being an idiot and says, "It's... paprika."



"Well, that's one mystery solved."


Leonard and Sheldon's apartment again. Leonard hears Cole leave Penny's place and tells Sheldon, "I'll be right back!"

Sheldon replies, "Oh, I thought you left a long time ago."

Leonard runs out and follows Cole down the stairs. Cole is skeptical. "Hi."

Leonard says, "'Sup."

Leonard asks if he's moving in on the 5th floor. He says, "No, I'm just visiting a friend."

"Oh, cute blonde on 4?"

"Yeah, do you know her?"

"I see her around... I try to stay away though because I know her boyfriend is REALLY scary. He's all ganged up."

They get down to the lobby.

"Oh, weird, 'cause she told me he was a scientist..."

"Oh, yeah, that's what the gang is called. The scientists. They are CRAZY."

"Oh, well, thanks for the tip."

"No problem, brotha, stay frosty!"


He looks proud of himself. He turns around to walk up the stairs and Penny is standing at the top of the first flight of stairs looking REALLY pissed.


"We're still dating, right?" She says nothing and walks back up the stairs.


Leonard (the next day I assume) is sitting in the cafeteria having a cup of coffee by himself. Alex sees him from across the room.

"Dr. Hofstadter!"

"Oh, hey Alex. Um, call me Leonard. Dr. Hofstadter is my father. ...and my mother. ...and my sister. ...and, our cat."


"Although I think Dr. Boot Hofstadter's degree was honorary."

She smiles and sits down with him.

Leonard asks if he can ask her a question. He says, "My girlfriend has a partner at school who has an English accent-

"Ooooooo I love English accents."

"Pfft. Yeah, you all do. And I think he's hitting on her but she insists he's just being nice but I don't think it's the case."

She says, "I'm sure it's harmless. I mean, girls probably hit on you all the time."

"Oh, yeah, I'm sure girls go 'oh, look, that guy has two Star Trek uniforms and gets constant ear infections, I gotta get me some of that!'"

She laughs a little. "Oh come on, you're cute, funny, smart. I bet girls hit on you all the time and you don't even know it..."


"Yeh, pretty sure." She stares blankly.

Leonard stares quietly for a second then just starts BUSTING up laughing. He gets up and starts to walk away. "Haha, I'm gonna get back to work, thank you for listening!" he walks a little farther. "Hopefully no one rips my shirt off on the way!" and he keeps walking away, continues laughing.


Raj and Howard are in Raj's office trying to figure out what '43' means. They have stuff written all over the boards and they are just killing themselves trying to figure it out.

"Oh, how about... 43 calories is what's in half a cup of fat free yogurt."

Howard asks how he knows that. "Hey, we all can't eat whatever we want and stay thin! What if he's building a bomb?"

"Oh, please, that man took two years to finish his LEGO Death Star, I'm not worried."


They both sigh, and Howard asks if Raj wants to get something to eat. He says it sounds nice and they walk out of the office. Halfway down the hallway, they both turn around and yell, "WHAT THE BALLS IS 43? I HAVE TO KNOW!"




Penny is leaving her apartment wearing her Cheesecake Factory uniform. Leonard is walking up the stairs. He sees her.


She says, "Shouldn't you be out with your gang spray-painting equations on the side of buildings?"

Penny starts raising her voice a little. "I can't believe you don't trust me!" "Of course I do!"

"You do know that Cole knew exaclty who you were when you were talking to him, right?!"


"I have a picture of you on my FRIDGE."

"And he still led me on like that? I'm reallllly starting to not like this guy!"

"Leonard, I don't understand why you do thi-"

"LISTEN. It's hard, okay? Everywhere you go, guys hit on you constantly. And sometimes... I'm standing right there. And they're all taller than me, WHY IS EVERYONE TALLER THAN ME?!"


Penny says, "Listen, you know I love you, and you keep doing things like this and it needs to stop because it's driving me crazy."


She realizes what she said.

He says, "That's the first time you've ever said that to me..."

"Uh... huh..."

"Am... am I supposed to act like it's not a big deal?"

"Yeah, I just... um." and she's getting overwhelmed and she's about to cry.

She says, "Oh, gosh. I should go, we shouldn't talk about this because I'm going to start crying and we both know that if I start crying, you're going to start crying!"

He looks down, then up, he croaks, "Right!" and they part ways. She goes downstairs. He goes inside. He shuts the door, looks up, and is crying. "She loves me!"


He gets a text. It's from Alex. He reads it aloud. "Hey, Leonard, it was nice having coffee with you today and if you ever want to talk again I'm always available, smiley face, smiley face."

He tilts his head, "What a friendly girl!"


Raj and Howard are sitting in the cafeteria with a laptop. Howard mentions he set up a nice camera in the room. "How did you get such a nice camera?" "It's a spare for the Mars Rover."

"How'd you get it?"

"Million dollar camera, ten dollar lock."


They're watching the video. In the video, Sheldon walks into the room and opens a tiny box on the floor. He says something like, "Initiating wormhole simulation." A black-hole looking simulation forms in the center of the room and the guys are just in totale awe at the video.

You hear Sheldon's voice. "The other 43 failed attempts of making contact with alien life through a wormhole leads me to believe that attempt 44 will be no different" and he sticks his head and hands in the wormhole (lots of CGI work here). The guys are freaking out.

Sheldon pulls his head/hands out of the wormhole and there's a huge alien-like looking hand on his face.


The guys are screaming because they're so scared. Sheldon is standing behind them in the cafeteria, but they don't know it yet. He throws the fake alien claw hand thing onto the laptop and they nearly piss themselves.



"Oh, I noticed you installed a nice camera and I fed different video footage to it. You don't get to know what I do."


Howard insists, "What do you do down there?"

Sheldon gets serious. "I don't know if you noticed, but there are a lot of things that make it hard for me to deal with every day life. For example, sarcasm, basic human interaction, and... not talking about trains as much as I'd like to. I use 20 minutes every day to deal with that so I can turn my mind off and let it do what it needs to do to recharge."


"What exactly do you do, though?" Howard prods.

"I'm not going to tell you, and you don't deserve to know. You will NEVER know." and he storms off.


We see Sheldon walking to the basement storage room. He opens the door, sets down his back, and opens it. He pulls out a hacky sack and starts stretching a tiny bit. Leans back and forth a little, and drops the hacky sack on his knee. He hits it up and counts. "One. Two. Three... four! Five. Six. Seven. Eight..." and it drops onto the ground. He stares at it. "Oh, DRAT!"


He looks at the board. "There's no way I'll ever get to 43 again..."



Edited by Tensor

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6.16 The Tangible Affection Proof
Reported by MJistheBOMB
Tape Date: January 22, 2012; Air Date:February 14, 2012
Story:         Chuck Lorre, Bill Prady,  Steve Holland,
Teleplay:    Steve Molaro, Maria Ferrari, Abe Faberman




The things I can’t remember well will either not be posted at all or posted to the best of my recollection which means, not exactly how it will be heard when it airs.
"The Tangible Affection Proof"

Scene 1:

Leonard & Penny are having dinner in Penny’s apartment.

Penny: you will never believe what happened at work today…
Leonard: what happened?
Penny: I saved a mans life! He was choking.
Leonard: did you Heimlich him?
Penny: No, I yelled, “That man’s choking!” and the buss boy Heimliched him.
Leonard: *looks at her funny* Wow. You’re a hero.
Penny: Well, that was the point of this conversation.
Leonard: Speaking of work, are you gonna be off Thursday night?

Penny tells Leonard she is free that evening .Leonard is wondering why she isn’t very enthusiastic, as it will be Valentines day on Thursday. Penny explains that Valentines day puts so much pressure on for everything to be special and it never turns out right in the end. Leonard reassures her that it will be because he’s the Romance Ninja *does some karate chop moves with his hands* and she’ll never know what surprises will be in store.

Scene 2:

Sheldon & Amy climbing the stairs.

Sheldon makes a comment about how he believes that when we make a bowel movement which includes a burning sensation after eating spicy foods, it is his belief that the rectum has a sense of taste (Spicy going in, spicy going out).

Amy: I’d concur if you hadn’t changed the subject. What are we doing for Valentines Day?

Sheldon: Oh, you caught that, did ya?

Scene 3:

Howard & Raj at the comic book store. Howard is on his cell with Bernie.

Howard. Okay…. Okay….Okayyy….Okayy….OK! *frustrated*

Raj: Everything okay?

*Howard looks at him annoyed*

He then explains to Raj that Bernie has been cranky since she’s been working 17 hour days.

Stuart walks by.

Raj: Hey, Stuart, got anything going for Valentines Day?

Stuart tells him, “No” and Raj comes up with the idea that they should keep the comic book store open late and host a party on Valentines Day for people without dates for the evening to show people, “The greatest love a man can have is the love for himself…”

Stuart likes the idea.

Scene 4:

Sheldon’s Office. Alex is inside and Sheldon walks in the door.

Sheldon: Oh, Alex, excellent! I have a research problem I think you can help me with.

Alex gets excited and thanks him for the opportunity to help contribute to his research.

Sheldon: Not gonna happen.

He explains to her that he needs her to buy Amy’s Valentines day gift.

Alex: *Looking at him like he’s crazy* you DO realize I gave up an opportunity at Fermilab to come work for you?

Sheldon: Yes and those chaps now have to find someone else to buy their girlfriends gifts.

Sheldon then whips out $2,000.00 and hands it over to Alex and tells her that he thinks Amy likes monkies and the color grey. Alex takes the money and leaves.

Sheldon: *to himself* Ha! contribute to my work. Kids say the darndest things.

Scene 5:

Howards Lab. Howard is working on something and Leonard walks in.

Leonard: you comin’ to lunch?
Howard: One sec, I wanna show you something.

Howard shows Leonard a little something he was working on for Bernie for Valentines day. (I forgot exactly what is is but it’s something super super tiny that has to be looked at through the microscope. It’s something even smaller than a grain of sand that he put their initials on or something?)

The theme of his gift was the “micro” bit since his wife is a microbiologist.

Leonard:…from a micro husband

Howard asks Leonard what he and Penny have planned for Valentines day. Leonard tells him that they’re going out to dinner. Howard thinks it’s kinda lame right up until he accidently BREAKS Bernie’s gift he spent 12 hours creating in the lab. Leonard invites Howard to bring Bernie and join he and Penny for dinner on Valentines day.

Scene 6:

Leonard & Sheldon’s Apartment.

Sheldon and Alex are there.

Sheldon: Okay, Amy will be here shortly expecting the perfect Valentines day gift. You’re up, kid! Knock my socks off.

Alex explains to Sheldon that she went onto Amy’s face book page to read up on her interests. Sheldon says that he never would have thought of that which makes Amy lucky to have a guy like him who has someone like Alex to do that for her. Alex pulls possible gift option number one out of the bag. It’s s mini harp music box which plays one of Amy’s favorite songs. Sheldon argues that Amy has a REAL harp that can play MANY songs. He wanted to see the next option. Alex tells Sheldon that Amy is a fan of the Canterbury Tales and pulls out a framed map of their journey through England. Sheldon isn’t impressed with this gift option either. Finally, Alex pulls out a print of a brain cell drawing signed by Santiago Ramon y Cajal, a famous neuroscientist.

Sheldon is VERY much impressed with this gift for Amy. So much so that he decides to keep it for himself.

Scene 7:


Leonard & Penny are seated at the table waiting for Howard & Bernie to arrive.
Penny: This place is so beautiful. *she smiles and takes a sip of wine*
Leonard: Romance ninja!! *Karate chop* *Penny smiles*

Howard & Bernie arrive and clearly both of them are unhappy. Bernie angrily plops down in her chair. Howard sits down next to her.

Howard: sorry we’re late.
Penny: oh no worries, we just sat down.
Leonard *to Bernie*: would you like some wine?
Bernie: *all snappy* fill ‘er up.

Leonard pours a bit and stops.

Bernie: *all snappy* I’ll tell you when to stop. *Leonard pours her more wine*
Penny: everything okay? *looks at both of them*
Howard: terrific, couldn’t be better…
Bernie: *looks at Howard*: Bite me!

Basically, Bernie is angry with Howard because while she’s been working hard all week, she’s asked him to do one simple task of washing their clothes and he hasn’t done it. All he does is stay focused on his Xbox, playing games. So she hides his Xbox.

Bernie: *to Howard* you like pushing buttons so much, push one on the washing machine!
Howard: *to Leonard & Penny* She hid my Xbox like I’m a child! *to Bernie* my mom got me that Xbox for my birthday and if you don’t tell me where it is I’m gonna tell her on you.
Leonard: guys, we’re trying to have a magical night here…
Penny: *to Leonard* everything will be fine. *silence for a moment* son of a bitch!
Across the room, is Penny’s ex boyfriend, who is sitting there dining with the girl (played by Kaley’s sister) he cheated on her with, Gretchen (who used to be her friend). Suddenly, Penny allows herself to get so caught up in her ex boyfriend and what he’s doing. Leonard tries to make her feel better about it.

Suddenly, Penny’s ex get’s down on one knee and proposes to Gretchen.

Gretchen: *to Penny’s ex* of course I’ll marry you! *she hugs & kisses him*

Penny gets even MORE upset.

Leonard: Oh, two can play at that game. *get’s down on one knee* Penny….
Penny: Get up! *Leonard gets up off the floor quick*

Scene 8:

Comic Book Store.

Raj & Stuart are preparing for the Valentines day party.

Raj: it’s nice that all the people who don’t have dates can come here tonight and be together.
Stuart: yeah, I’m really looking forward to it. In fact, there’s no place I’d rather be than here.
Raj: except on a date with anybody.
Stuart: literally anybody.

Raj then decides to point it out that if he and Stuart were a couple, it would be the best relationship ever.

Raj: if you were a girl, all our problems would be solved (because they have so much in common, etc.).

He then talks about how their date would go.

Raj: then, I’d take you home, rip off that little black dress and pile drive you into oblivion.

Stuarts looks at Raj like he’s nuts and is very uncomfortable and leaves the room.

Raj: happens every time. I meet a girl I like and then I scare her away.

Scene 9:


Penny: I cannot believe he’s gonna marry the girl he cheated on me with.
Leonard: isn’t that kinda nice? He was with the wrong person, now he’s with the right person.
Penny: oh, so now I’m the wrong person??

They start bickering and Bernie leans over to Howard:

Bernie: Wow, what’s going on right now in their relationship makes ours look pretty good.
Howard agrees. Their issues get squashed when he promises to go home and do the laundry. Bernie smiles.

Howard: so where’d you hide it? (his Xbox)
Bernie: some where you’d never look…*smiling*
Howard: the washing machine!
They’re both smiling and give each other a kiss as Leonard and Penny are still fighting across the table.

Penny: See? Valentines day sucks.
Leonard: THIS one does and you’re the reason why.

Scene 10:

Leonard/Sheldon’s Apartment:

Sheldon (wearing a suit, ready for his evening out with Amy) answers his door.

Amy: hello.
Sheldon: hello.
Amy: *smiling* Happy Valentines day.
Sheldon: Okay.
Sheldon: Shall we go to dinner?
Amy: Hang on *she walks into the apartment* As you know, I had planned a traditional Valentines day evening of romance and gifts…
Sheldon: Yes and as you know I had plans to pretend to enjoy it. I even had a face prepared. *he makes this goofy face like he’s pretending to like something*
Amy: Well, I cancelled all of it…
Sheldon: Really?? *he says smiling*

She explains that she knows that gifts and things of that nature put so much pressure on him and she thought it would be better if they stayed inside, order in pizza and watch that “Star Trekk-Wars stuff” he likes. That is her gift to him.

Sheldon: I don’t know what to say, Amy…
Amy: (at this point she says something like that's what girlfriends do, I forgot, but it was so sweet, trust me.)

He goes on to tell her that what she did was so thoughtful (you’ll have to excuse me, I forgot his words). He was very happy with her gift.

Amy: whatever you got me, take it back.
Sheldon: No. you got me nothing so I want to give you this *reaches into his pocket and pulls out a paper*
Amy: your employee information form (forgot her words exactly)??
Sheldon: Read the bottom.
Amy: *welling up with tears* “in case of an emergency, contact Amy Farrah Fowler." It even has my number!!!

Amy is so happy and tells Sheldon that it is the best gift she has ever gotten. She pulls him into a hug as they sit on the couch, his arms hanging down barely able to move them since she has a tight hold on him.

Sheldon: Okay….that’s enough. You’re ruining Valentines day, now order my pizza *he pats her on the knee while still in her embrace*

Scene 11:

Leonard & Penny walk silently up the stairs. Both walking towards their apartments when they reach their floor.

Penny: Goodnight
Leonard: Yep.

Penny closes her door. Leonard stands in front of his for a moment and then decides to walk over to hers and opens her door, letting himself in.

Leonard: You know? What you did tonight, that was pretty crappy of you!
Penny: I know, I’m a total bitch.
Leonard: Well, I wouldn’t go that far.
Penny: But I am.
Leonard: Okay, fine, yeah, you’re a bitch.

She apologizes and explains to him that everything is going so well between them right now and one day when he proposes to her, they’ll get married, be stuck together forever and that scares her. Leonard sits down next to her.

Leonard: Okay. I know I propose to you a lot (LOL). I promise I will never propose to you again.
Penny: What? Are you breaking up with me?
Leonard: No, no….but under one condition. If you want to ever get married you have to propose to ME. I want the whole 9 yards, you down on one knee, everything. Just don’t put me on a jumbo tron, I don’t want to be crying on a big screen.
Penny: *smiling and relieved* You got it. *They give each other a sweet kiss* Leonard, can I ask you a question?
Leonard: *surprised* Yes?
Penny: Will you be my Valentine?
Leonard: Sorry, maybe next year. *Penny drops her jaw and he gets up to leave*
Leonard: *turns around* Just kidding!!! Romance Ninja! Let’s have sex!

Scene 12:

Comic Book Store.

The party is going well. It’s full of people who are lonely on Valentines day.

Dale : *walks up to Stuart and Raj* Thanks for the party! Usually I’m sad and alone on Valentines day…now I’m just sad!

Stuart makes one of his usual depressing remarks (which I can’t remember).

Raj: we have GOT to stop beating ourselves up like this. *walks over to the counter to grab a remote and turn off the music* Can I have everyone’s attention please?

He goes on to make big speech about how they should not define themselves by whether or not they’re in a relationship.

Raj: we are not mutants! The only mutants here on in these comic books. We are a community! As long as we are together, we are never alone!

*Everyone claps* a girl walks up to Raj: *awkward* that was a nice speech.
Raj: Thank you. *awkward* would you like to maybe….go out for coffee?
Girl: *still awkward* sure.
Raj: *turning to everyone else in the store* LATER, LOSERS!!! *hands up in the air like he’s a ganster rapper. Follows the girl out of the store like he’s the king mac daddy or something. LOL*

Scene 13 (Tag)

The scene is basically Amy working in her lab getting another of apparently multiple calls of Sheldon related emergencies. LOL. A Chinese bird spider bite…Sheldon thinking he has a brain tumor, etc. She leaves the room saying to herself, “a brain tumor would explain a lot…”


Edited by Tensor

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6.18 The Contractual Obligation Implementation

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The things I can't remember well will either not be posted at all or posted to the best of my recollection. Enjoy.

The Contractual Obligation Implementation

Scene 1:

Sheldon & Leonard's Apartment.

Leonard: I know you guys don't wanna do this but we have no choice. You can grumble, drag your feet...

Howard: I got grumble, Sheldon, you got drag your feet?

Sheldon: I prefer to belly-ache.

Leonard: it's in our contract to serve under the university committee.

Basically, they have been given the task of inspiring women to pursue science careers. Sheldon & Howard aren't looking forward to it. Howard then moves forward to the TV to hook up the Xbox so he and Sheldon can play it since they're not interested.

Sheldon *to Leonard*: You're the smart kid doing all the work while the smarter kids sit back and watch. I don't appreciate being forced to do banal committee work.

Howard *to Sheldon*: You think I'm smart?

Sheldon: No, you're just a tool I'm using to make my point.

Scene 2:

Sheldon & Leonards Apartment.

Leonard: Our topic is to encourage women in science. Can you guys not play that sexist game?

*Cuts to the TV screen which shows Sheldon & Howards characters fighting each other. Two women with HUGE breasts.*

Sheldon: How is it sexist? *He makes some comment here that I've forgotten but it was a positive about his female character*

Howard then makes a comment about his characters breasts being so large they could have enough milk for 30 and then some left over to open up her own Baskin Robbins. LOL! Sheldon then adds on to Howards remark but I forgot what he said exactly.

Leonard then reminds Sheldon of the fact that he's always talking about how much smarter he is than Leonard so does he have any ideas for this project? Sheldon then says that it would be better to start young middle school aged women to inspire them to get into the sciences. Leonard likes the idea. Howard then suggests that maybe they can go to his old Middle School and teach the girls there. Sheldon then says that he has to google how to do it. He begins to type, "how do I get 12 year old girls excited?" Leonard and Howard run over to him, "Noooo!"

Scene 3:

Penny's Apartment:

Raj: Thanks for letting me crash your girls night.

Penny: Are you kidding? You brought fancy wine and made fondue. I've slept with guys for less!

*Raj, Amy & Bernie look at her likes she's nuts*

Penny: It's a joke!!!....based on real events.

Raj: can I pick your brains a little?

He explains that he wants to plan a "killer" 1st date for Lucy, a girl who has crippling social anxiety issues where she can't be around people.

Amy then mentions how women like "danger" and she suggested some crazy, off the wall type of possible date ideas for Raj including, "wine tasting on Skid Row."

Bernie suggested Disneyland. Raj could take her on Space Mountain and when she get scared she can get close to him and rest her head on his shoulders. Penny then mentions that Space Mountain is a shorter ride than one would think AND it takes a picture of you at the end so she warned them all make sure they have their clothes back on before that happens.

*They all look at her like she's nuts again*

Penny: It's a joke!!!....based on real events.

Raj argues that Disneyland doesn't sound like a good idea. Too many people...just like in India. Suddenly, the girls get lost in their own world, talking about Disneyland and how they all should ditch work one day and go. Raj gets annoyed.

Raj *to the girls*: I thought we were trying to solve my problems??

The girls agree and it gets silent for a moment as they try to think of ideas for him.

Amy *to Penny*: so are we just doing Disney or California Adventure too?

Raj: *Angry & annoyed face*

Scene 4:

Howard's Old Middle School. Sheldon, Leonard & Howard enter the halls.

Leonard: Nice of your old school to let us try out out old science talk out on the female students.

Howard: I was their favorite Alumni...well, if you don't count the serial killer who ate all those students (is that what he said, Kellee? LOL)

Sheldon makes a comment about it must be great for the school to have someone who graduated and later became an astronaut...something along those lines.

Howard: The last time I was here I was a scrawny little nerd.

Leonard: Now you're just a nerd.

Howard: Oh, look! There's my old locker. I'm an engineer and I'll never be able to figure out how Scott Pepenski shoved me into a suit case and then into my locker.


The guys continue walking down the hall and some kids bumps into Howard's shoulder.


Howard *to the kid who is bigger than he is*: HEY!!!

Kid: What?!? *mean look on his face*

Howard *scared*: Nothing.

Sheldon: smart. We don't want any problems.

Scene 5:

Bernadette's car.

Amy *excited*: I can't believe I ditched work for Disneyland!

Bernadette then asks each girl what excuses they gave their bosses. Amy called into work because of food poisoning story she made up over multiple phone calls and Penny simply said to her boss, "Bye!"

Next, they start discussing what they're gonna do at Disneyland.

Bernie: I'm gonna make a B-line for a Disney Princess Makeover.

Penny: We're not gonna get drunk and go on rides??

Bernie then explains more about the princess makeovers, how it works, etc. and calls dibs on Cinderella. Penny argues and asks her why does she get to be Cinderella and she replies that, she's driving, it's her car and that's why.

Scene 6:


University Library. Raj is setting up a picnic in the library for his date with Lucy. A man just plops down in a chair at the table he's setting up at.

Raj *to the man*: Excuse me? I'm meeting a girl here. It's kind of our first date.

Man: in a library?

Raj: we're socially awkward. Seems like a good idea.

Man: me too, can I join?

Raj then tells the big, tall man to leave and climb back up whatever beanstalk he came from.

Offended, the man gets up and begins to leave. Lucy enters and Raj see's her. They smile to each other.

Man *to Lucy about Raj*: you can do better.

Lucy walks over to Raj at the table and see's the picnic set-up.

Lucy: we're eating here??

Raj pulls out his phone and texts Lucy.

Lucy texts Raj: a texting date? I'd love that.

Raj texts Lucy: as you're reading, it will help to remember that I have an adorable accent.

*Lucy smiles*


Scene 7:


Leonard: Okay, who's ready for some science?!?!?

*the classroom full of girls look at him like he's nuts and the room is silent*


Leonard: Me too!

He spends another 10 seconds trying to get the girls excited before turning it over to Sheldon.

Sheldon: hello female students.

Sheldon goes on to talk about Madame Curie and how she's a hero of science was poisoned to death by her own discovery. He said something like, "...and some day that can be you too." to the girls. LOL.

Sheldon *to Leonard*: are we done? can we go?

Scene 8:

Middle School Classroom. Leonard, Sheldon & Howard are inside with the female students.

Howard: you can go to space too! Look at me! I put my pants on one leg at a time like everyone else. I went to this very school. Those desks you're sitting in? I got super glued to one of those desks. Questions??

He gets asked if he flew the rocket among other questions and then a girl says, "So, you're like flight attendant...like my uncle."

Howard *annoyed*: Yes, but I didn't serve NUTS!!! (or whatever the hell he says)

Leonard takes over and talks about how both his parents are scientists and they sort have led him into it.

Leonard: well, more like pushed...

He goes onto discuss that his true dream was to become a rapper like Eminem but with glasses.

*does a little rap that I can't remember*

*students stare at him like he's crazy as well as Sheldon & Howard*

Leonard: come on you guys, that was good. *awkward silence* Who knows what an atom is???

Scene 9:

University Library. Raj & Lucy. They're still texting each other...

Raj: My dads a gynecologist in India so if you are ever over there and need a check up, as he likes to say, he's at your cervix.

*They both laugh*

Raj: most people don't appreciate puns.

Lucy: those people should be pun-ished.

*They both laugh*

Raj: so what do you do?

Lucy: web design.

Raj: anything I might have seen?

Lucy: I don't know, you ever look at any porn sites?

Raj: *trying to hide a guilty look on his face* nooo, never.

Lucy: whoops, that was auto-correct. I meant prom sites.

Raj: Ooooo, fuun. I love prom! The romance, the gowns, it's like a fairy tale come true!

*Thinks about what he just said*

Raj: whoops, that was auto-correct. I meant I love sports.

Scene 10:

The guys are still in the middle school classroom with the girls. At this point, Leonard is sitting on the desk, emotional about his childhood and ranting to the girls about it. He mentioned that he never wanted to play that cello and that it sounded like a "suicidal bumble bee."

Sheldon: I don't know if women in general have been discouraged from pursuing the sciences but I know you all have (the girls in the classroom).

Since clearly everything that's happened in class has turned into a disaster, Sheldon comes up with the plan to call Amy and Bernadette, actual FEMALES in science.


The scene is the girls at Disneyland all made over to look like Disney Princesses. Beradette is Cinderella. Penny is Princess Aurora (Sleeping Beauty) and Amy is Snow White (Each looks absolutely stunning by the way).

Sheldon calls Amy & Bernie and puts them on the phone (on speaker for the girls in class to listen to). He asks them a few questions and they respond.

Amy: as young girls, we are taught more about looks than what's in our minds *she says while touching up her Snow White lipstick. LOL*

Bernadette: you can be ANYTHING you want to be.

Penny *sitting on a bench eating popcorn*: except Cinderella....

Bernadette *to Penny*: come at me and see what happens!

Scene 11:

Raj & Lucy in the University Library.

Raj *texting Lucy*: this was really fun.

Lucy: *speaking* my battery is dying so I'll just talk. Thanks for today. I'm trying to do more things that scare me and coming here was definitely one of them.

(I can't remember if Raj says anything here...maybe he just smiles?)

Lucy:...but this was really nice so thanks and uhhhh *awkward* I'm gonna go....*she turns to leave and turns back* Maybe I can do one more scary thing before I go and give you a kiss good bye? I mean, if that's okay?

Raj is definitely okay with it. He closes his eyes, leans forward, puckers his lips. Lucy leans in ready to kiss him and then:

Lucy: Panic attack!!! *she runs away and I couldn't here what she said*

Raj: *smiling big* I'm counting that as foreplay.

Scene 12 (Tag):

All the guys and girls are back home from their long days out and about. First scene is Howard entering his and Bernie's appartment. Bernie is in her room and he says to himself, "Please be Cinderella, please be Cinderella!" She walks out as Cinderella and he rips off his shirt, pretends he's a Prince on a horse and "gallops" over to her. Second scene is Leonard entering Penny's apartment. He begins to immediately talk about his day and is stopped dead in his tracks when he see's her as Princess Aurora. He too, starts taking off his clothes. LOL. Third scene is Amy lying on the couch in her Snow White attire...as if she is laying in a coffin like Snow White.

Amy: Sheldonnnn, all Snow White needs is one little kiss to wake up.

Sheldon *sitting at his desk on his laptop*: I heard you the first time.


Edited by Tensor

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6.20 The Tenure Turbulence

Report by

Everything here is written to the best of my memory so therefore there will be a lot of things not here at ALL. LOL. I hope you enjoy it anyway and thank you for reading. Also, remember that how it looks in writing is not always how it will turn out when you see it on TV.

The Tenure Turbulence

Scene 1

The guys are in the cafeteria.

Leonard: I was reading about a jellyfish that never dies. It reverts to it’s asexual state and starts over again.

Howard then makes a comment about his grandfather going back to an asexual state or something like that.

Leonard: My point is immortality is not a possibility, it’s real.

*Kripke walks over to the guys*

He asked the guys if they recalled smelling a horrible smell coming from professor Tuppermens office for about two weeks.

They all say, “Yes.” Kripke then informs them that the smell was professor Tuppermen, who died in his office right at his desk. Sheldon then wants to change the subject. His possible topic choices: brine shrimp or the history of the unicycle.

Howard: Sheldon! Someone died!

Kripke:…and turned into a puddle of gooo.

Kripke then relays to them all that the committee suggests that instead of flowers, that everyone bring Fabreze (it’s an air freshener for those who don’t know).

Kripke: no use crying over spilled professor. A tenure position just opened up. If you need my nose, it’ll be lodged in the rectum of a tenure committee member.

The guys then discuss that kissing ass to get that position is not something they’re interested in.

At some point (I forgot where this ties into the conversation), Sheldon makes a comment about the future of science and that humans could have chips in their heads that explode when they say something stupid. Raj says that he believes that people do their best work when they feel safe and secure.

Sheldon: *looks at Raj and makes an explosion sound as if an imaginary chip is exploding*

Raj mentions that if he doesn’t get the tenure position that he’d like Leonard or Sheldon to have it.

Sheldon: Raj, don’t give Leonard false hope like that.

Leonard then argues that he has just as much of a chance than Sheldon does for the position.

Sheldon: *looks at Leonard and does MULTIPLE explosion sounds*

Scene 2:

This is a play back scene that was pre taped and it goes by so quickly that I wasn’t able to write much down. It basically shows Leonard discussing the tenure situation with Penny, then it cuts to Raj & Howard explaining everything to Bernie, then it cuts to Sheldon explaining everything Amy. Deep down, everyone is thinking about how to get on the good side of tenure committee members, including Mrs. Davis. Sheldon has a flashback of his sexual harassment incident he was called in for with her and wondered if he had any luck of getting on her good side.

Scene 3:

Cal-Tech gym. Mrs. Davis ia there.. Leonard peers around the corner at her as if he’s stalking her.

Leonard: Heeeyyyy, Mrs. Davis! I didn’t know you worked out here!?!

Mrs. Davis: do I know you?

Leonard: Leonard? Leonard Hofstader? I’m trying to get into shape too. Like my father use to say, I have furniture disease: my chest fell into my drawers.

Mrs. Davis: Well, you have a nice day. *walks over to an elliptical machine*

Leonard: *walks over to an elliptical machine next to hers* Hello again!!

Mrs. Davis: Hello.

Leonard: I’m not familiar with this model. How do you make it start?

Mrs. Davis: you press “START”

Leonard attempts but can’t figure out why the machine isn’t moving.

Leonard: this one might be broken.

Mrs. Davis: you have to move it.

Leonard begins peddling the elliptical machine.

Leonard: Oh, yeah! I can feel it! I can do this for the rest of my life! Speaking of which, I read that you are on the tenure committee?

Mrs. Davis *to herself* I’ve got to get me a home gym.

In walks Kripke.

Kripke: *to Leonard* funny seeing you here for the first time since…EVER.

Kripke gets on to the elliptical machine on the other side of Mrs. Davis and starts kissing her ass too and asks her if she’s trying to work off the banana bread he made her. Leonard jumps into the conversation and starts talking about a delicious banana bread recipe but can’t finish because he’s so out of breath from going too fast on the elliptical machine. He tells her he’ll email it to her.

Leonard: *gets off machine out of breath* well, that’s enough cardio for me. I think I’ll stretch out before I hit the weights.

Leonard plops down on the floor and lays on his side.

Mrs. Davis: are you okay???

Leonard: *still out of breath* Call someone!

Scene 4:

Mrs. Davis is sitting in her office. She receives an email from Raj which features a 90 minute video about his life and how he got to where he is today (something that he hopes will inspire her to choose him for the position). “I’m not paid enough for this,“ she says to herself. The video is interrupted by, *Knock! Knock! Knock!* Mrs. Davis! *Knock! Knock! Knock!* Mrs. Davis! *Knock! Knock! Knock!* Mrs. Davis!

She opens her door and of course, there is Sheldon standing there.

Sheldon: I may have given you the wrong impression of me and to make it up to you I want to give you a gift.

Mrs. Davis: that’s not necessary.

Sheldon: too late! Get ready to like me!

Sheldon then hands her the gift, she opens it and it’s the “Roots” (LOL) Mrs. Davis can’t believe her eyes and looks him him like WTF??

Sheldon: *about Roots* the tragic story of slavery in America….fun for the whole family.

Mrs. Davis questions him asking is that really an appropriate gift and he replies with a pause followed by, “You are black, right?”

After he leaves her office he makes a note to himself that he needs to stop off at a professor Morenelli’s office to drop off the Sopranos box set (2nd take was to professor Woo for the complete works of Jackie Chan).

Scene 5:


Leonard:*walking up to the table to sit with the other guys* gentlemen…

Raj: where have you been?

Leonard: nurses office.

Howard: you have an asthma attack?

Leonard: asthma…heart, some kind of attack, I’m fine.

Simon: you guys going to professor Tuppermens memorial service?

They all say, “No” in unison.

Sheldon: No…I barely knew him.

Howard then makes a remark about how they wouldn’t want to look like they’re brown-nosing the committee. He mocks the other three men and calls them “meerkats”

Scene 6:

Sheldon/Leonards Apartment.

Sheldon: *pooring tea for Amy* I won’t be able to make it out for our date night. That’s bad news for you.

Amy: you better have a good excuse. Trimming your Q-tips so they can fit in your ears is obvious nonsense.

He explains to her that he has to go to the memorial service of professor Tuppermen. He said the whole situation is tedious and he’d much rather go out with Amy for that or something along those lines. LOL.

Amy: in that case, maybe I should go with you?

Sheldon: I meant for you to drive me.

Scene 7:

Penny’s Apartment.

Leonard: Do anything interesting today?

Penny: Not really. I was out shopping with Amy for a memorial service.

Leonard: Sheldon’s gonna be there?? We all promised we weren’t going!

Penny: what a jerk. You want me to go for support?

Leonard: No…*he’s debating*

Penny: Let me tie my shoe while you think about it. *She gets off the bar stool and bends over in front of him as he watches*

Needless to say, he changes his mind about Penny coming along. He also jokes with her and tells her that her other shoe is untied.

Scene 8:

Raj’s apartment.

Raj: *on the phone* Come on, daddy!!! All the other scientists have seat warmers! How about I cut my cleaning lady to two days a week?? *looks over at his dog* Looks like we’re both gonna be living like animals.

(Once you see this episode, you’ll understand more about the “seat warmers”…everything comes into play with this whole tenure thing)

Scene 9:

This is the BEST scene in the entire episode and I literally have nothing to show for it. LOL. Maybe Kellee can help me remember some things?

It takes place in the hallway just outside of the multipurpose room where the memorial service for professor Tuppermen is being held.

Sheldon and Amy enter and Amy is going over “emotional responses” for Sheldon. Think back to that time where Sheldon ran away to Texas and his mom and him are doing the prayer together and he’s say the last word to every line? That’s what Amy was doing. She’d say something like, “professor Tuppermens death is really…” Sheldon would say, “sad….”

Next person who enters is Raj…who tells Sheldon he has some nerve showing up there, etc. The other two couples enter and they all begin to argue with each other for all trying to kiss tenure committee members asses to get what they’re after.

At one point, Leonard makes Penny take off her jacket to reveal their secret weapon: her little black dress and her boobs pushed up so high so that she could flirt with tenure committee members. Amy at one point asks Penny how the hell she gets her boobs to stay like that. LOL.

At one point Sheldon got competitive and told Amy, “don’t just stand there, take your breasts out.“ She looks at him like he’s nuts. Raj makes a mocks Sheldon for making the comment about her breasts and Sheldon replies, 'Are you trying to imply that my girlfriend has no sexually exploitative qualities (can't remember if he said "qualities or something else)??" The guys keep trash talking each other, Raj & Sheldon taking “Yo’ momma” jokes to sexual extremes. LOL. Not kidding. Raj saying something about being beneath Sheldon’s mother…then later when Raj says, “Screw it, I’m going in!” (to the memorial service) Sheldon replies, “ ‘Screw it, I’m going in’ is what I said to your mother.’” LMAO.

Then he turns to Amy and reassures her that nothing like that ever happened.

Sheldon: Coitus is ridiculous and off-putting. *he opens the door and enters the memorial service*

Amy: *to herself* I should have taken my breasts out when I had the chance.

Before this part was actually Kripke and Mrs. Davis entering the event before them all. Still kissing her ass.

Kripke: *to Mrs. Davis* Are you kidding? I would LOVE to baby-sit. Children love me. There’s something about me that makes them waff(laugh) and waff (laugh).

Also, before THIS Leonard had told them all that they should just stop fighting and allow their natural talents shine through. I remember Howard called them all meerkats at one point too again.

Sorry, the scene was so funny and shocking at the same time that it’s a big mess written out but I hope you get the idea.

Scene 10:


Sheldon knocks on Mrs. Davis office door and when she doesn’t respond at first he said, “I know you’re here! I saw your car out in the parking lot.” She answers the door annoyed, “What?”

Sheldon then thanks her because he noticed that his, Leonards and Rajesh’s names where all placed on the short list for the tenure position. She then tells Sheldon that despite their quirks, they’re all well accomplished in their respective fields. He extends his hand for what looks to be a handshake and she extends hers to meet his, he smacks her hand from left to right, above and below fist pound, a crazy movement with his leg, etc. that makes up this crazy hand shake he made up.She looks at him like he’s nuts and says, “I’m gonna pretend like that did not just happen.” and closes her door. He raises his right fist and says, “Right on, sister!”



Edited by Tensor

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6.22 The Proton Resurgence

Report by MJistheBomb

This taping report was written to the best of my memory (with help from my notes), which means not everything that happened will be added in and not everything here will be as it will air on TV. Enjoy…

The Proton Resurgence

Story By: Chuck Lorre, Jim Reynolds & Steve Holland

Teleplay By: Steven Molaro, Eric Kaplan & Maria Ferrari

Scene 1

Sheldon & Leonard’s apartment.

Leonard, Penny & Sheldon are inside.

Leonard: the interface is pretty simple….

Penny is seated at Leonard’s computer and he’s showing her what to do in order to operate some robotic launching gizmo sitting next to the computer.

Sheldon is seated at his computer.

Sheldon: you’ll never guess who I found online! Professor Proton! *gets pegged in the head by a miniature missile or rocket* Hey!

*Penny laughs since she is the guilty party*

Leonard: he’s still alive?

Sheldon explains that Professor Proton is available for parties & events. He suggests that if he booked him that he could have the Professor Proton take 12 pictures with him so he can make a calendar. Sheldon and Leonard both sing the Professor Proton theme song.

Penny launched another miniature missile at Leonard and laughs.

Scene 2


Raj: I just found out in the telescope lab all weekend. Any chance you and Bernadette can take care of my dog?

Howard: Why can’t you just put her in a kennel?

Raj: *offended* Why can’t you put your mother in a home?!?

Howard: to be honest, she’d do better in a kennel. Bernie loves dogs, I’m sure it’s fine.

Sheldon enters.

Sheldon *to Leonard*: it’s happening! (he booked Professor Proton to come to their apartment)

Leonard: you’re kidding!

Howard: the host of that lame kids show?

Sheldon: you just got yourself Uninvited.

Sheldon *to Leonard*: I told you I’d find a tactful way to do that.

Howard: how’d you get him to come to your house?

Sheldon quotes Professor Protron: “There’s no problem you can’t solve if you use your noggin’”

Leonard: Yeah and he wrote him a big check.

Scene 3

Howard & Bernadette’s apartment.

There’s a knock on the door. Howard opens it.

Raj: Uncle Howarrddddd! Cinnamon is ready for her sleepover party! *he says as he’s rolling in a small pink stroller with the dog inside*

Howard: *looks at him like he’s nuts* CUTE stroller. You know if you had a stroke, she’d eat you, right?

Raj: and it would be my pleasure to be her precious num-num.

Raj goes on to tell Howard how to properly take care of her while he’s away. He pulls out these over-the-top doggie meals that are meant for humans. LOL.

Howards: bends down to put the dog and look her in the eyes: *baby voice* I feel for you….I have a psychotic mommy too.

Scene 4

Leonards bedroom.

He is asleep…..or trying to when he hears:

Sheldon *from his own bedroom*: Leonard?

Leonard: what?

Sheldon: are you in bed?

Leonard: yes.

Sheldon: me too.

Leonard: great.

Sheldon: I can’t sleep.

Leonard: I can, so shut up.

Sheldon: do you realize that in less than 9 hours, Arthur Jefferies, a,k,a, Professor Proton will be in our home?

Leonard: Sheldon, you know if you stay up all night you’ll be sleepy tomorrow and a sleepy Sheldon is a cranky Sheldon and a cranky Sheldon *pauses* ….is no different than regular Sheldon.

Sheldon at one point asks if he should wear a tuxedo when the professor arrives and asked Leonard if he has any cufflinks. Leonard tells Sheldon he doesn’t have any so Sheldon decides they can keep it casual instead. It’s quiet for a few seconds and then we hear Sheldon practicing how he’s going to introduce himself to Professor Netron:

Sheldon: Nice to meet you! Nice to MEET you! Nice to meet you! NICE to meet you!

Leonard gets up annoyed out of bed, walks into Sheldon’s bedroom and you hear a *smack!*

Sheldon: Owww!!!

Leonard goes back into his own room, gets into bed with a smile on his face like he felt he just solved the Sheldon problem that was keeping him awake.

Sheldon: Leonard??? I still can’t sleep.

(They shot another version or two of this scene so they may or may not use Leonard slapping Sheldon. LOL)

Scene 5

Howard & Bernadette’s apartment.

Howard & Bernie arrive home from a day at the park with Cinnamon. Howard walks through the door pushing her little pink stroller.

Bernadette: she really tuckered herself out.

Howard: it was kind of fun throwing a ball and not have anyone laugh at me.

Bernadette: you two were so cute playing together.

Bernadette makes a comment at some point about how sweet it was of Howard to not throw the ball too far so that he little legs didn’t have to work so hard.

Howard: yeah…that’s why I did it.

Bernadette then mentions how the whole experience with “the three of us” kind of felt like a family and that maybe they should consider eventually starting their own.

Howard: of course we can *gives her a kiss*…and if (the baby) is as calm *walks over to Cinnamon’s stroller* and quiet-OH NO!!!

Bernadette: where is she????

Howard: I don’t know, she didn’t leave a note!

The beginning bickering as they leave the apartment to go and search for Raj’s dog.

Scene 6

Leonard & Sheldon’s apartment.

Sheldon is pacing in front of the door, wondering when Professor Proton would arrive.

Sheldon: I’m getting worried!

Penny: Relax, Sheldon..he’s only a few minutes late.

Sheldon: he was never late when he was on TV. At 4:00, he was always there…unless there was a tornado ripping across east Texas, in which case I’d join him in progress.

Sheldon’s phone rings. It’s Professor Proton. He talks to him and hangs up.

Sheldon: Poor old guy’s been walking up the stairs for a half an hour (Professor Proton is waiting at the 3 floor.)

Scene 7

Sheldon comes down to level three (with Leonard & Penny) and finds Professor Proton exhausted and sitting on his suitcase.

Sheldon *all smiles*: it’s really you.

Leonard: Mr. Jefferies, I am so sorry, we should have told you about the broken elevator.

Professor Proton *out of breath*: I agree.

Sheldon: Professor Proton, it is an honor to meet you.

Professor Proton: just call me Arthur.

Sheldon: Leonard, did you hear that?? He said I can call him Arthur. That means we’re friends.

Arthur : Actually, a friend would have told me about the elevator.

Sheldon *all smiles and walking up close to Arthur, creeping him out*: Look at me! I can finally get as close to you as I want to without my mom saying I’m ruining my eyes.

Arthur *to Leonard*: is he dangerous?

Leonard: Actually, he’s a genius.

Arthur: that doesn’t answer my queston.

Leonard tries to distract from the situation by introducing Penny to Arthur. Arthur gets up quickly from his suitcase and says, “hello to her.”

Arthur: I’m sure the kids are waiting…should we get started?

Sheldon: there are no kids, just me.

As they all begin to walk up the 4th floor, Arthur asks Leonard: so is the blonde really your girlfriend?

Leonard: yes.

Arthur: YOU’RE the genius.

Scene 8

Sheldon & Leonards Apartment.

Penny is sitting on the left side of the couch. Arthur sitting in the middle taking a sip of his and Sheldon in his spot, staring at him closely and smiling.

Penny: so do you do a lot of appearances like this?

Arthur: it’s hard to say. I’m trying to figure out what this is. *totally creeped out by Shelly. LOL*

Leonard: we just wanted to hang out with you. Learn a little bit about your life.

Arthur explains that there wasn’t much to it. After his show was cancelled, no one in science took him seriously so he was forced to do these parties to make a living.

Leonard: still, working with kids must be rewarding.

Arthur: they bite a lot.

Sheldon then brings out a puppet called, “Geno The Newtrino” that he bought off Ebay for 20 bucks. Geno The Newtrino was on the show with Professor Proton. Sheldon does a funny voice with the puppet on his hand and tries to cheer Arthur up.

Arthur: let me get this straight. The two of you are physicists and you want me to do a children’s show? (He also mentioned that he also has a PHD and went to Cornell University at some point)

Sheldon: Yes…and possibly take 12 pictures in seasonal costumes.

Arthur *to Penny*: I’m awake, right? This is really happening?

*Penny nods*

Scene 9

Howard & Bernie are in the car. Bernie is driving.

Howard *yelling out the passenger side window*: Cinnamon!!!

Bernie *yelling out the drivers side widnow*: Cinnamon!!!

Howard: boy, is Raj gonna hate you when he finds out this happened.

Bernie asks why her and Howard argues that she’s a microbiologist and it’s in her job description to find small

Bernie: is being a jackass part of your job description??

Bernie comes up with the idea that maybe they should call the dog using Raj’s Indian accent. LOL! So, Howard likes the idea and yells something out the window how Raj would say it. Next, Bernie does the same. Howard compliments Bernie on how good she sounds.

Howard: hey, save that (the accent), it sounds sexy.

Bernie*weirded out*: you think I’m sexy when I sound like Raj???

Howard *pauses to think about what he’s said and quickly turns his head to call the dog without an Indian accent*: Cinnamon!!!!!

Scene 10

Leonard & Sheldon’s apartment. Leonard, Sheldon & Penny sit and watch as Professor Proton (wearing his white lab coat) conducts an experiment right in front of them. The one wear you can put a flame in a bottle and watch an egg get sucked in.

Arthur*looks at them*: what do you thinks going to happen?

Penny is trying to answer before Sheldons bursts out excitedly: the egg will get sucked in!

Sheldon *turns to Penny*: the egg will get sucked in.

Sheldon then asks Arthur to do his potato clock bit. Suddenly, Arthur is uninspired and feeling down and says he doesn’t want to be Professor Proton any more.

Sheldon: how can you say that? You’re the best!

Arthur: what has it ever gotten me? I carry potatoes in my suitcase…

He also mentioned that the puppeteer who has his hand up Geno The Newtrino had his other hand up his wife’s skirt.

Penny tells Arthur she is sorry for his troubles.

Sheldon *gets up and heads to his room*: I need to show you something.

He comes back out holding an old signed photograph of Professor Proton.

Sheldon *to Arthur*: I wrote a fan to you when I was a child in Texas and you sent me this. do you remember?

Arthur: let’s see if THIS can answer that question for you: I’m wearing a wristband with my own address on it (he’s 83 years old).

Sheldon: believe it or not, I didn’t have many friends as a child but I did have you. If it weren’t for you, who knows where I would have wound up. A hobo? a surgon?

Professor Proton inspired Sheldon to get into science.

Leonard: it’s important you know how much you mean to us.

Suddenly, Arthur puts has hand up to this chests and says he thinks he’s having trouble with his pacemaker. He sits down on the couch and Leonard calls 911.

Scene 11

Playback scene. Raj is in the telescope lab when he receives a phone call from someone who found his dog.

Raj: what do you mean you have my dog? she’s with my friends...

He asks if Cinnamon is okay, ends the call and then leaves to go get her.

Scene 12

Sheldon & Leonards apartment.

Arthur is on a stretcher.

Paramedic *to Arthur*: your vitals are stable but let’s take you in for some tests to be safe.

Penny: we’ll gather your things and meet you at the hospital.

Leonard: you want one of us to ride with you in the ambulance?

Sheldon: I WILL!!!

Arthur *to the paramedic*: can’t only relatives go?

Paramedic: No, anyone can go.

Arthur: I can’t catch a break tonight.

Sheldon: I’ve met my childhood hero and now I get to ride in an ambulance. This is the best day ever!

Arthur: At this point, I’m glad someone is carrying me down the stairs.

Scene 13

Howard & Bernadettes apartment.

The enter the apartment, still upset that they lost the dog. Howard made flyers. They receive of Skype call from Raj. Howard panics and answers it planning on giving him a lie. He tells Raj that Bernie just took Cinnamon out for a walk.

Raj then reveals that he has the dog with him. Bernie comes and sits down next to Raj. Raj starts fussing at them both.

Raj: I trusted you and you let me down!

He then mentions that he’s had Cinnamon for hours. Bernie then takes this as her que to turn it around on Raj.

Bernie: What?? We’ve been worried sick and you’ve had her for hours? We thought she was dead! (she says something along those lines)

Raj *could barely get a word in*: But…

Bernie: maybe you need to take some time and think about what you’ve done! *closes laptop shut*

Howard: wow, maybe you do make a good mother.

Scene 14 (Tag):

Arthur’s hospital room. Sheldon sits by his side.

Sheldon *singing sweetly*: Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur….Happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr, purr, purr…

Arthur: thank you Sheldon, that was very nice.

Sheldon: would you like me to sing it again?

Arthur: NO! The 4th time was a charm.

Sheldon then brings out the Geno The Newtrino puppet and does his silly voice and sings the Professor Proton theme song.



BTW, the tag scene for the Bob Newhart episode was changed. Dr. Proton (Arthur) asks Sheldon if he could fill in for him at a children's party for the next day, Sheldon suggests that since he does not look like Dr. Proton, then perhaps he can call him Dr. Proton Jr. or something. Arthur likes the idea. Sheldon then says, "it's like I'm your son...." Arthur agrees and then Sheldon gives him a sweet hug...it's so cute. LOL.


So, as for behinds the scenes stuff...I was sitting in a pretty bad spot last night. I was at the very left corner in front of Penny's apartment where no scenes were shot. LOL. So, obviously,  I didn't get to see much other than the awesome Bob Newhart. After doing his first scene, he is introduced to the audience and we cheer for him so loudly and you see him wipe tears from his eyes. I wanted to cry seeing him so happy to see the love for him. I watched him on Nick-At-Nite as a young child. Don't remember a single bit of it but still, it's cool to see someone you watched and appreciated at such a young age.


At the very end of the show, the cast came out for their curtain call and of course Bob Newhart did as well and he gave a nice speech, thanking everyone and letting us know how kind and humble the entire Big Bang cast is :-). Chuck Lorre handed him what looked like the top of one of those "Big Bang Theory" set chairs that everyone has with their names on it.

BTS from Marc Ritter.



first I´m new here. So once more: "Hello everyone!"

I´ve been to this Tuesday´s taping as a guaranteed. And if it was not enough I was reseated from one of the back rows (on the aisle left - so appaerently not that far from Monique) to the front row on the right next to the VIP´s (there was one single spot left they wanted to fill). I had an amazing view. Interestingly some VIP´s got cake and special wrist bands and were told to come backstage after the taping so I was wondering why. Now it makes sense after I read it was JP´s birthday. Seems they celebrated after the show. That might also be the reason why they didn´t give out any autographs at all this time. We were told to leave right away.

The report Monique - thank you btw - did is absolutely exact and this has to be one of the funniest episodes ever imo. Espacially because Bob Newhart was amazing.

His "I´m 85" joke between the takes (there was also something similar in the scenes) was extremly funny and the audiences´ reception (minute long standing ovation) was really heartwarming. I honestly didn´t know him so I was very surprised. But he seems to be a really nice guy. Even the cast bowed before him and yes: Chuck gave him the little thing of the chair with Bob´s name on it.

Another thing I noticed: Kaley and Johnny were briefly dancing between the takes and after that they had a very (and I mean veeeeerrrryyy - not just a friendly) intimate hug. Did you notice that too, Monique? A lot of room for speculation... ;-)

Also Johnny having fun with the microphone was hilarious (he fought against it like with a boxing bag) and how he had fun with the mic guy above the stage. I like little things like that because that shows what kind of people they seem to be.

And I especially liked the "I´m not dreaming. This is real!" part. The cinnamon bits were good and I also liked the reenactment of Bernadette´s & Howard´s car scene (I´ve never seen a reenactment at a taping before).

Like I said: This has to be one of the best episodes ever imo mainly because of Bob Newhart and I´m looking forward to see that on tv.

Edited by Tensor

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6.23 The Love Spell Potential

Report by Kyzzx

The Love Spell Potential




Penny, Bernadette, and Amy are getting into a taxi (assuming from the guy's apartment or something, they don't specify).

Bernadette yells, "To Burbank airport!"


Penny yells, "Wooooo, Vegas! No husbands, no boyfriends, no rules! Anything can happen."

Amy says, "Wait, no rules?"

Penny replies, "Yeah."

Amy says, "We're not gonna get with the Blue Man Group."

Penny says, "Um... okay, well, not that."

"So there are rules?"


Bernadette ends the awkward exchange by saying, "Okay! No husbands, no boyfriends, with rules."



In the L/S apartment, at the same time this is taking place, the guys are gathering around the coffee table.

Howard says, "Yes! A night without the wife and girlfriends."

Raj says, "Anything can happen!"

Leonard says, "It's gonna get craaaaazaayyyyy!"

And Sheldon walks in from the back of the room with a box in his hand, holds it above his head and yells, "DUNGEONS AND DRAGGOONNNS!"

Sheldon opens a brand new set of dice and sniffs it, mentioning the new dice smell. They're all looking at their new pieces to play the game and are really excited.


Raj mentions that he's glad that Lucy had to work so he was spared the 'awkward conversation' of what he's doing hanging out 'with his bros.'

Leonard says, "Aren't all of your conversations awkward?"

"Well, yeah. We have this rule that if we're on the phone and no one says anything for three minutes, we can just hang up. ...I'm so into her."


Howard sits in Leonard's chair as dungeon master. Sheldon and Leonard are in the kitchen area and Sheldon mentions he doesn't know if he feels comfortable with Howard being the dungeon master instead of Leonard. Leonard finds it touching but says, "Change is good, you know. Sometimes. Remember? You were scared that Zachary Quinto was the new Spock, and you ended up liking him well enough."

"UGH, every time we talk about change you just throw Zachary Quinto in my face! Mailman got a new haircut - ZACHARY QUINTO. We roll back for Daylight Savings Time - ZACHARY QUINTO. We roll FORWARD for Daylight Savings Time - ZACHARY QUINTO." He gets closer to his face, "Zachary Quinto was a one-time, strange, revolutionary, amazing thing so DON'T USE THAT AGAINST ME."


They sit down and they get into the game and Howard says there's a huge tree that has a face on it that kind of looks like Nicolas Cage. He does a Nicolas Cage impression which is AWESOME. Sheldon is amazed and Leonard says, "See? He's nearly as good as dungeon master as me."

"Nearly as good?!" Sheldon says, "You just got pants'd in the school yard, four eyes!"

After the first move, Raj gets a text from Lucy and he says, "Oh, Lucy is free tonight. See ya!" and he gets up to leave.


Howard is like, "Raj? You can't leave, we're still playing!"

He says, "Oh, I suppose I could play until I die. I take out my +1 long sword, stab myself in the face and die a horrible death. And now I have a date with a girl, BYE!" and he walks out the door.


The rest of the guys continue to play.


Raj and Lucy are at a restaurant and sitting at the bar having a drink.

Raj says, "I'm glad we could hang out tonight."

She says, "Me, too."

He says, "And if you find neediness sexy, just know you're about to have dinner with the sexiest guy on Earth."

She says, "Can I tell you something... ? I was so nervous before coming out to see you that I covered my entire body will roll-on antiperspirant before I left the house. ...if I start sweating out the top of my head, you'll know why."

He nods slowly. "Sorry to put you through that."

"No, it's fine. I need to do things that scare me."

"What else have you thought about doing?"

"Well. Telling the lady at SuperCuts that I hate having bangs."

"I like your bangs."

"Thanks! Me too." Then she kinda turns her head to the side and makes this face to herself like, I'm a moron.

He says, "Anything else?"

"Well, it's a tie between sending food back at a restaurant or telling people I don't want to buy magazines from them."

"Sure, sure."

"Yeah... I have a two year subscription to Guns N Ammo..."



It cuts back to the guys playing D&D. Every part of the game that Howard is narrating, he's making sound effects to go with it, and Sheldon is still as amazed as he was.


Then... the door opens and it's Penny, Amy, and Bernadette, who are supposed to have left for Vegas.

"Guess who," Penny says.

"What are you doing here?" Leonard asks.

Bernadette walks in to get a water from the refrigerator. "Amy." she says.

Amy slowly says, "Well. Going through security... and the TSA needs to give me a patdown. They started getting a little 'handsy' so... let's just say... I probably broke her nose with my elbow."

Bernadette says, "Long story short, Amy's on the no-fly list, we're not going to Vegas and we probably got followed home by a drone."

Amy says, "So... I'm going to leave before I ruin anyone else's night."

Sheldon says, "That's my girl!" and Amy's about to leave when Leonard suggests they all play D&D with them. Sheldon is slightly reluctant at first, but they need more players because Raj left. So the girls decide they want to play, too.


Sheldon says to Leonard, "Three weeks ago you bought crunchy peanut butter and now you want to invite girls to play Dungeons and Dragons? DO YOU HAVE A DRUG PROBLEM?"

So Sheldon turns to Howard and says, "It's up to the dungeon master."

So Howard stands up and says, "There's a huge, satanic growth of moss coming out of the ground that looks strangely like Al Pacino." then he says, "YOU'RE playin' D&D. YOU'RE playin' D&D. THIS WHOLE APARTMENT! Is playin' D&D." (lol)


So they all sit down and Penny's made margaritas and is pouring it out for everyone. Sheldon says, "Penny, we don't drink alcohol while playing Dungeons and Dragons. It impairs our judgement." he says, tapping his pencil to his head.

She holds up the pitcher and says, "Oh, it's not alcohol. It's a magic potion that makes me like you."

Leonard looks over and quickly says, "Double potion, please." and she pours him a cup.


Howard continues to narrate the game, stating that they come across two ogres. Penny wants to roll the dice and Howard says she needs to roll a 15 or higher to slay one.

Penny rolls the dice in a similar Vegas-gambling fashion and rolls a 16. Everyone cheers!



Back at the restaurant, Raj and Lucy are now at a table and Raj asks her how her crab cakes are. She says they taste kinda funky.

He says, "You've always wanted to send your food back, now's your chance!" and she's kinda like, "I dunno..." so Raj calls the waiter over and says, "Is there anything you wanna tell him?"

The waiter asks if everything's okay and she says, "Yeah, it's fine. I'm fine. How are you? We don't need anything." but Raj insists. "Anything else you want to tell him?"

"I, um. I, um. I have to go to the bathroom! Other than that, the crab cakes taste a little funky." and she leaves.


Raj sits there and says, "You know, the first time we went out, she was so shy, she crawled out of a bathroom window to get away from me." The waiter just kind of looks at him and that's that.

Then the scene cuts to Lucy actually climbing out THAT restaurant's bathroom window, but it's near a dumpster in a chained off area, and the fence is really high. It's also dead-bolted, so she can't get out and has to call Raj on his phone.



Back in the apartment, Bernadette is about to roll the dice but you can tell everyone is anxious about the next move because they're all standing up.

She says, "Come on! Mama wants a pair of dead ogres!" She rolls the dice and it's a 17. Everyone cheers!

Leonard says, "Come on, Amy! One more ogre! Take 'em out!"

Amy rolls the dice and rolls a 19 and everyone cheers again!

Amy and Penny are screaming with joy and Amy says, "THIS IS ALMOST BETTER THAN VEGAS!" and Penny is laughing and says, "NO IT'S NOT!" (in a funny, playful way)



Back in the alley way where Lucy is, Raj walks around the corner and says, "Lucy?" and she says, "Hey... long time, no see..."

He says, "You don't know me very well, but I want you to know that every time you leave like this, it chips away at my masculinity."

She says, "Sorry."

"Why did you leave like that?"

"You pushed me! I didn't want to send my food back."

"If I upset you, then I'm sorry, but why didn't you just say something?"

"I can't even tell the woman at SuperCuts that my forehead is my best feature and you want me to tell you that I'm upset? It's scary!"

He says, "Well, I like you A LOT and that's really scary to me! That and because you're a proven flight risk..."

"...how do you really like me a lot?"

"Well, you have bigger emotional problems than me. Which is a huge turn on."


Then they look at each other and then kiss for the first time, through the chain link fence. <3 It was so cute. Their chemistry is amazing.



Back in the apartment, Howard is still narrating the story and says a dragon falls from the sky! Sheldon asks if the dragon says something and sounds like a well-loved celebrity.

Howard does an easily recognizable impression once again and Sheldon says, "THE DRAGON IS CHRISTOPHER WALKEN! AMAZING!"

Bernadette rubs his shoulder and says, "It might be the magic potion talking but you are one fine-ass dragon master!"

Howard replies, "Yeah, and when we go home I'm going to take you on a different adventure."

Sheldon says, "Ooooh! Another Howard-led quest! Count me in!"

Amy leans in and whispers, "Sheldon, they're talking about sex."

"...oh. Then count me out!"


Penny holds up her hands and says, "Hey! Since it's not going to happen any time soon, how about your character (pointing at Amy) and Sheldon's character do it IN the game?" Everyone is silent.

Bernadette goes, "Ooooooo!" then taps Howard, "Back me up."

They both go, "Ooooooo!" together. Then Bernadette says, "I cast a love spell on Sheldon and Amy."

They roll the dice and Howard says the spell is cast. He says, "Amy is the most beautiful half-orc he's ever seen. He removes her armor and stares fondly at her four, hairy breasts. And Sheldon's character looks like, well, Sheldon. Because apparently she's into that. Now what do you guys do?" and everyone is staring at them. Sheldon doesn't say anything, and then Amy says, "I don't like this." and gets up and walks into Sheldon's bedroom.


You can tell they all feel really terrible, and Sheldon's not in the best of moods either, at this point. He's actually able to recognize what THEY did wrong.


Sheldon goes back and knocks on his own bedroom door.

*knock knock knock* Amy.

*knock knock knock* Amy.

*knock knock knock* Amy.


"Yes?" she says. She's just sitting on the bed.

He comes in. "Never knocked on my own door before..." He shuts the door.


She says, "You don't have to come in here and cheer me up..."

He says, "Ohh, thank you! Go out there and tell them that because they all seem to be thinking the opposite."


She says, "They feel like our relationship is a joke."

He says, "I don't think our relationship is a joke. I think... 'a horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, 'why the long face?'' ...that's a joke."

She looks at him.

"...it's funny because the horse has a long face."


She says, "Sheldon... will we ever have an intimate relationship?"

He says, "Oh, my... that's an uncomfortable topic..."

He sits down on the bed next to her, about an arm's length away. He says, "Listen. What we have, I feel, is extremely intimate."

"I guess I know that..." she says. "But part of me wants more."

"More?!" he says. "Look, it's only been three years and here we are in bed together!"

She smiles sadly for a second and says, "Do you think we will ever be intimate?"

He says, "Amy. Before you, I was never interested in becoming intimate with anyone in my entire life."

"And... now?"

/long pause/

"...and now what?"

"How do you feel about it now?"

"I wouldn't rule it out."

She's still sad, but you can tell she feels better. She says, "Let's go back out there and finish the game."

"No," he says, "They slayed the dragon and now are pillaging the remains. They cast a love spell on us. It wouldn't be right for the game to not see that through." (LIKE OH MY GOD WHAT)


Sheldon stands up, go grabs a book and dice from his dresser, and comes sits back down.

He says, "I attempt to remove your armor." He rolls the dice. They look. "It comes off." he says.

Amy gasps.

He says, "What do you do?"

"I... kiss you... on the lips."

He rolls the dice. "I kiss you back... on the lips. Now what do you do?"

"I... remove your armor."

He rolls the dice. "I erotically caress your..." There's a pause as he looks at the dice. "Nose."

"KEEP ROLLIN'!" Amy says. (LOL)


Outside in the hallway, Leonard and Penny walk up to the door. They knock and Leonard says, "Hey! Are you guys okay? You've been in there a while."

Sheldon replies, "We're fine, thanks!"

Penny says, "Hey! We just want to say we all feel REALLY bad and that we're so-"

She's cut off by Amy yelling, "GO AWAY. SHELDON IS NIBBLING AT MY..." *dice roll* "14! YES!"




--- end ---

Edited by Tensor

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6.24 The Bon Voyage Reaction

Report by MJistheBOMB
Additions by liastra


This report simply gives you an idea of what the episode about. NEVER take every little detail of it seriously. Enjoy...


The Bon Voyage reaction


Story by: Steve Molaro, Steve Holland & Tara Hernandez

Teleplay by: Chuck Lorre, Jim Reynolds & Maria Ferrari 

Scene 1: 
The guys are in the cafeteria.
Raj mentions that the night before, he and Lucy did a video chat. He stared at her beautiful eyes for 20 minutes only to realize the screen was frozen. 
Howard joins in to let Leonard know of Steve Hawking related expedition in the North Sea. A physicist dropped out so Howard suggested Leonard to Hawking.
Leonard is shocked by the news.
Howard: I talked you up. He knows your research.
Scene 2:
Leonard’s car. Sheldon is in the passenger seat. Sheldon begins his game of trying to discourage Leonard from going on this 4 month expedition. He speaks of drowning accidents that can occur at sea, etc. Leonard tells Sheldon that he’s only saying all these things because he’s afraid of being alone. Sheldon denies this and asks him another silly question:
Sheldon: who would win in a fight you or a shark?
Sheldon then brings up the fact that 4 months away from Penny could do damage to their relationship.
Scene 3
Raj’s Apartment. Lucy is with him.
Raj: if you look carefully at Venus, you can say the international space station pass by.
Lucy: wow, your friend was actually up there?
Raj: yeah, my friend went to space and all I got was this lousy tshirt.
Lucy: was the tshirt in space?
Raj: No, it’s as lousy as advertised.
Raj then mentions a going away party that is planned for Leonard and invites Lucy. Due to her social anxiety, she is hesitant. Raj then suggests that maybe she can “dip her toe in first” by just meeting only ONE of his friends to start with. Lucy agrees.
Scene 4:
Penny’s apartment. Leonard is there with her.
Penny: so then, during my afternoon shift, I spilled an entire tray of drinks on myself.
Leonard: that’s awful.
Penny: not really, my shirt was soaking wet and I got the biggest tip of my life.
Leonard goes on to tell Penny about the North Sea expedition and how long he’d be away for. She was okay with it and told him she’d come visit. He reminded her that she can’t because he’ll be on a ship in the North Sea. 
Penny: on a ship???? Aren’t they afraid Hawking will just roll over board????
Leonard told  Penny that Steven Hawking won’t actually be on the ship with them. He’s only sending a team to research his theory.
He also tells Penny that he is worried about leaving when things are going so well in their relationship right now and that he wouldn’t wanna screw things up. 
Penny: sweetie, the only way you would screw things up is when you’re here, not when you’re away on a ship.
Leonard tells Penny that Sheldon is nervous about him leaving and could she look after him a bit.
Penny: I don’t know, remember when you asked me to take care of your goldfish??
Leonard: it’s okay, you can flush Sheldon and get me a new one.
Scene 5:
Leonard & Sheldon’s apartment.
Leonard: really, you guys to have to give me a going away party….
Of course, they all insist. Raj then mentions the Lucy situation and how he’d like to have her meet one of them to start off with since she has anxiety. He suggests Leonard to be the fist person  Lucy meets. Leonard is flatter and Howard gets jealous. “Aren’t I your best friend??” Raj mentions that Howards, “Woody Allen Swagger” may intimidate her. Howard nods in agreement. Penny then suggests, “well, what if she meets a girl first?” Raj likes the idea and turns and asks Bernadette. Penny says, “heyyyy!” and Raj explains that he beauty may intimidate/scare her. Penny nods in agreement and  Bernie gets offended, “What, am I not scary enough?” Howard replies, “Calm down…you are very scary.
At one point, Amy decides that she would be best suited to meet Lucy first because she too was once an outsider and everyone took her in and treated her like family. 
Scene 6:
Raj’s apartment. Amy,  Lucy & Raj are together for dinner.
Amy *to Lucy*: so after I started dating Sheldon, I met Leonard and they’ve all been so wonderful to me….maybe next week we can all get together.
Raj *to Lucy* : you don’t have to answer that…*to Amy*don’t put her on the spot…*to Lucy* tell her you don’t like being put on the spot!

Amy: Don't worry (to Lucy), he's just nervous to talk about your social anxiety.
Raj: What th- what are you doing!? You can't talk to about being social anxiety to someone who HAS social anxiety...it makes them socially anxious!
Amy: I'm a neurobiologist, I think I'm more qualified than you to tell you what's NOT WORKING IN YOUR GIRLFRIENDS HEAD. (meanwhile, Lucy's reactions/expressions are hilarious) 
Raj: Don't call her my girlfriend, we haven't discussed whether we're girlfriend and boyfriend yet. But now that it's out there. Lucy, are you my girlfriend? If you say no, I'll never be happy again.  
Lucy: *nervous* I have to go to the bathroom….
Raj *to Amy*: we might as well go ahead and eat, she’s not coming out any time soon.

Scene 7:
Penny & Sheldon are in the grocery store.
Sheldon is complaining that they should be shopping in an actual party store, not a grocery store.
Sheldon: they don’t even have a party section.
Penny: yes, they do, here it is! *pulls two bottles of alcohol off the shelf*
Sheldon: I don’t understand why you of all people are encouraging  him to do this.
Sheldon goes on to list another excuse to try to get Penny to see things his way but fails.
Penny: Oh, my gosh. Sheldon, the genius, is jealous of Leonard.
Sheldon: I am not jealous! I am just unhappy that a good thing is happening to him and not me.
Penny then tells Sheldon a “story” about a girl who works at The Cheesecake Factory (she was pretending it wasn’t about her) who was competing with another girl to win the part of a toothpaste commercial. The other girl got the part and the moral of the story is, the girl who didn’t get the part had to be a good friend and tell her, “good job” (or whatever, I forgot how it went).
Sheldon: so they lie so they don’t look petty? How do I do it?
Penny *showing Sheldon her acting skills*: I am so happy for you *fake smile*

3 Takes:

1. Penny doesn't show teeth. Wide grin.
2. Penny shows teeth.
3. Penny doesn't show teeth. Medium grin.

Sheldon: no wonder you didn’t get the toothpaste commercial.
Scene 8:
Raj’s apartment. Video chat with Lucy.
Raj: I want to apologize for last night. Amy was out of line.
Lucy *still through video chat, eyes widen and she is still, which gives the illusion that the screen froze again*
Raj: are you not talking to me or is the screen frozen again?
Lucy: Amy wasn‘t the problem…it was you.
Raj:  You’re right, I pushed too hard, I’m sorry.
Raj then brings up Leonards Farewell party asks if she wants to go.
Lucy *scared*: a party???
Raj then tells her that is she wears brown and just sits on the couch, no one will notice she is there. 
Lucy: well, okay…
Raj: great! They are like family to me…unless of course you don’t like them, in which case they are dead to me.

Scene 9: 
Sheldon & Leonards Apartment.
Party day. Everyone is all dressed up. Bernie walks up to Leonard in the kitchen.
Bernie: so, you ever spend a long time on a boat before?
Leonard: yes.
Bernie: you mean that time you got stuck on It’s A Small World ride at Disneyland?
Leonard: yes.
Howard walks over: I’m really proud of you, Leonard. 
He then tries to compare Leonard’s upcoming expedition to his time in space.
Leonard: it’s not a competition, Howard. As far as science goes, this is an opportunity of a lifetime.

Howard: Maybe you're lifetime. I went to space.
Leonard: It's not a competition, Howard.

Howard: you’re right. I’m gonna miss you. *starts walking away and then pauses* Space beats water!
Amy *to Raj sitting on the couch* I thought Lucy was coming.
Raj: She is. You know how girls are, getting their hair ready, etc…(he says something like, can we drop it or get off my case…I forgot)
Sheldon: can I have everyone’s attention please??? *turns down music and obnoxiously clinks glass after everyone is already quiet* I’d like to propose a toast to my dear friend, Leonard. 
He says one of his usual one liners with a fake smile on the end. 
Leonard: thank you, Sheldon. That must have been very hard for you.
Sheldon: I mean it *another fake smile*
Sheldon *to Penny*: and THAT'S how you land a toothpaste commercial!
Howard *to Sheldon*: that was really nice of you to try to be nice for Leonard.
Sheldon: thank you.
Howard: must have KILLED you when I went to space.
*Sheldon looks at him like he’s nuts*
Suddenly, Raj receives a text message from Lucy and says, “Oh, nooo”
Howard: buddy, you okay?
Raj: just read it…*hands over his phone*
Lucy explains in the text that this is all too much for her and that she doesn’t think she and Raj should see each other any more.
Raj walks towards the bathroom very upset. Everyone says, “I’m sorry…” before he leaves the room
Sheldon *to Howard*: it did NOT kill me when you went to space. MONKEYS go to space!

Scene 10:
Penny’s car. She & Sheldon are dropping off Leonard at the airport.
Penny: well, here we are…
Leonard: I know, I’m really gonna miss you.
Sheldon: we’re parked in the red zone, we really shouldn’t be here!
Penny: you have your inhalers, (something else she mentioned)?
Leonard: Yes.
Penny: I love you.
Leonard: I love you too.
The both start kissing and Sheldon is still being paranoid about where Penny is parked. 
Sheldon: there’s a cop! *yells out the window* They just love each other! We’re not smuggling drugs!
Scene 11:
Penny goes to visit Raj at his place after the airport.
Penny: Raj, are you in there?
Raj: just a moment. *Opens the door*
Penny: I just got back from the airport and I wanted to see how you were doing.
Raj: that is very kind of you…come in…
Penny: I can’t stay long. I left Sheldon in the car with the window cracked open and he’ll go through that activity book in 30 seconds. Are you okay???
Raj *teary eyed*: No.
Penny sits down next to him to comfort him. He starts to cry. 
Raj: why can’t I ever find love?? It’s my fault. I found a woman who is right for me and I drove her away.
Penny: that’s just the booze talking *her arms are around him*
Raj: no, I haven’t had booze since last night.
They both FREEZE and look at each other.
Penny: Raj! You’ve been talking to me.
Raj: I have!…and now I’m crying for a whole different reason.
Scene 12 (The Tag):
Penny’s apartment. The three girls are standing behind the counter drinking wine while Raj sticks with water only and he is talking their heads off.  LOL.
Amy: does he ever stop talking???
All the girls have disturbed looks on their faces like they want to run away so badly because he just keeps talking and talking. LOL.



Behind the scenes: everyone was in good spirits on set. There were two moments (while filming the same scene) where Jim laughed out loud. I think he was laughing because there was one point where he totally forgot his line before they began so a guy brought over the script for him really quick. Then, after the guy walked away, SIMON then needs to see the script as well and Jim laughed. LOL.
Mayim also has the cutest laugh ever. LOL...
When Kaley & Jim sat in some chairs in front of the audience to reenact the car scene for us (where they had to take Leonard to the airport), the DJ had a Rihanna song playing and Kaley was singing every word. Suddenly, you see her look back at Jim and suddenly he sings a few words of it. LOL...so cute.
I could watch that cast BTS all day. What still stands as one of my top favorites BTS moment was when Kunal comes up behind Jim who is sitting in a chair and reaches down and gives him a hug from behind, wrapping his arms around Jim's chest. It was sooooo sweet. It was like he was saying, "I love you big brother." LOL.


Edited by Tensor

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