S8 Discussion Thread

[Cecilia]

... for all we know after Amy finished taking her frustration out on leonard penny hugged army or lenny hugged her trying to comfort her.

So unfair for us to watch that scene and lose the good stuff if that happened. About Lenny hurting I agree with the others. While I agree they are concerned I think they are mostly happy about him trying to figure out the things that trouble him.

@phanta I think the venting theory is very logical. From the beginning of the season Amy had little monents that she kinda stood up to Sheldon like her defending Penny when Sheldon was mad at her or when he embarrassed her to her co workers. There was a lot of eye rolling during the season and then there was the butter scene. I think Amy was about to explode. For me that doesn't eliminate the need for comfort by her friends though.

[SRAM]

I don't think that Lenny are going to be hurting. They'll worry slightly before enjoying their freedom. As long as he's not dead in a ditch or in prison, they'll have a great summer, together. No matter what happens, they'll get Sheldon back, their relationship  in tact. There is no risk for them. They might act slightly wistful, but it won't overly trouble them.

 

Amy's a different story. Her relationship with him is one of the most important things in her life. This trip could have a bad outcome for her or a good one, but she has no  power either way. She has to wait. This will effect her day to day existence in a negative way.

 

But of course, Amy's in exactly the same boat as people who aren't romantically involved with Sheldon, who did get a chance to say good bye and see that he was okay. It's not apples and oranges at all.

I know, poor Amy. She really needs to get Sheldon a testosterone patch.

[Tonstar17]

I am sure someone posted this before but lenny didn't know that Sheldon was planning to going away until they got to the station even when lenny decided to let him go and say lenny phoned amy to update her on the situation. how do we know she would have got there on time. Trains run by schedules and he probably already bought his ticket and was waiting to board before lenny turned up. I am done with this now. I just hate the way some people on here keep blaming lenny for amy not getting to say goodbye to Sheldon and act like Sheldon isn't to blame for any of this.

[phantagrae]

I don't think Amy needed comforting.  I think her ability to take it out on Leonard was what she needed.  It's not like she ran out of the room in tears after talking to Sheldon, and obivously the conversation with Sheldon wasn't anything about breaking up or being in a bad place in their relationship.  He obviously was letting her know where he was and that he was okay and that he was going to talk to her again tomorrow.

 

I don't think that Amy is aftraid that she's going to lose Sheldon or that their relationship is in danger or anything like that.  And I don't think that L/P are "hurting", either.

Amy is upset because she obviously would rather have had Sheldon stay.  But that's her own selfishness or shortsightedness--not in a bad way, just that she would understandably rather have him home while he tried to work out his problems.

And Leonard had felt the same way until Penny pointed out that SHeldon had to do this on his own.

 

Penny was the only one who was able to look at it from a more objective stance--as she had been able to do when Sheldon was fretting over his change in study.  She was the one who said he needed to stop trying so hard and just let the solution come to him.  So now she recognizes that no one could solve his problems for him.

 

Since what he needs to do is think--think about what changes he can accept and how to accept them, to get away from the reminders and pressures until he can make those changes or adjustments in his thinking--no one can solve the issues for him.

 

Leonard and Amy are both too close to him and have too much at stake to be able to offer him a truly objective perspective.  Though Penny has a stake in the outcome as well (where she and Leonard are going to stay), she also has a different relationship with SHeldon.  As his mother/sister figure, rather than girlfriend, and since she's not Sheldon's roommate or best friend, she can be a little less emotional about him than Amy or Leonard.

 

So I think it's appropriate that she didn't rush to Amy's side or rush to defend Leonard or anything like that.  Just like SHeldon had to go on his journey, Amy had to vent her frustration.

 

And I don't think L/P should have called Amy to the station to say goodbye.  IMO, that would have been pointless.  Not that Amy wouldn't want to say goodbye, but obviously, from the way she reacted to Leonard, she probably would have been begging Sheldon to stay (more pressure) when he was already feeling overwhelmed.

It might also have pushed SHeldon to the point of saying something really hurtful to her, if he felt she was pushing him even more than before.  I just don't see that anything good would have come from it.

Besides, it would have messed up the balance of the scene and been too treacly.  I'm sure that L/P would have talked to Amy that night and explained what had happened.

And I also think, that if we assume that that's what happened, that the audience didn't need to see that.  Again, this is a comedy, and though we had a little seriousness in that moment when Penny and Leonard are assuring Amy that it was all for the best, if there had been some big weepy scene either between Amy and Sheldon at the train station or when L/P go to tell her or whatever, then I think the tone of the episode would have been very different.

 

I think that the writers were obviously trying to keep the overall tone lighter--by not showing Amy weeping and tearing her clothes or sitting in sackcloth and ashes over it.  We see that she's fine at first, after Sheldon stormed out of her apartment (not weeping or tearing her hair) and then we don't see any serious weeping scene (like when Lucy broke up with Raj and Penny went to comfort him), but instead see an over-the-top scene of Amy beating Leonard with a pillow while Penny kind of has this, "Well, what can you do?" expression of resignation.

Edited July 1, 2014 by phantagrae

[Tensor]

But they got to see him and wish him good-bye before he left.  They didn't even offer to let Amy know.

 

I think that was the whole purpose of that scene, Leonard and Penny letting him go and Amy wasn't needed for that.  On the other hand,  it makes me wonder if they are going to pull a "Deception Verification" and have Sheldon go to Amy's, when he returns, not needing Leonard and Penny for that.  Then the whole thing would be a metaphorical handing off of Sheldon from Lenny to Amy.  And I don't mean that in a bad or juvenile way.  Just that he has depended on (note, not dependent, just depends on) Leonard and Penny (even when he wasn't) for seven years.  They are now going their separate paths and Sheldon's path is also Amy's path.  

[Cecilia]

I cannot think how Sheldon's departure won't affect her self confidance especially as far as the relationship is concerned. I know that leaving was the best for Sheldon I am just not sure if it was for Amy too. In the long run probably. But if she doesn't detach herself a little from Sheldon and that relationship her summer (or anyway her time during which Sheldon will be away) is going to be hell. I think she knows what she did wrong but she doesn't know if all that change will be so heavy on Sheldon that he'll choose to live without her. And tbh I don't know if it will be realistic if Sheldon returns and Amy is understanding and happy. Not because he left but because they have lost their balance and that is a serious thing that needs to be fixed before they can be equals in a relationship.

 

I disagree I think Amy needs comforting. But what I don't get is why Penny wasn't even as little affected by what was going on in front of her. Usually a person taking it out or being broken or whatever is a pretty sad thing to watch. I would more than understand that attidute if Amy's fury was towards Penny. Anyway I was also buffled by her letting Leonard take the blow but I am not a Lenny expert so I am not gonna say anything else about that.

[CaffeineBuzz]

@Tensor: I sincerely hope that was the whole point of the finale.  I actually am hoping that it's done that way but that it's not all chocolates and roses for Sheldon and Amy when he gets back.  That relationship needs rebalancing.... big time.  They are obviously end game but the path there I think still has a lot of hurdles.  Right now it's mostly been like watching two pre-pubescent teenagers.  There's still a great deal of growing up to do for both of them before they have what would constitute for anyone else an actual adult relationship.

Edited July 1, 2014 by CaffeineBuzz

[Tensor]

@Tensor: I sincerely hope that was the whole point of the finale.  I actually am hoping that it's done that way but that it's not all chocolates and roses for Sheldon and Amy when he gets back.  That relationship needs rebalancing.... big time.  They are obviously end game but the path there I think still has a lot of hurdles.  Right now it's mostly been like watching two pre-pubescent teenagers.  There's still a great deal of growing up to do for both of them before they have what would constitute for anyone else an actual adult relationship.

 

The point in bold has been mentioned by various people, on various sites.  They both have stunted emotional development.  They never went through the changes that most teens and early adults go through, socially and emotionally.  I've always seen Amy as similar to the teenagers that giggle when you mention anything associated with sex.  That Amy has progressed further, it due, I think, because she is more open than Sheldon is to these changes.   You're right that the relationship needs rebalancing, but there needs to be some recognition by Sheldon as to what this really means to him.   I predicted it for this past year, but that growing up they need to do has been set up nicely, to be covered this year.  I envision something like the season 5 growth for Howardette and the season 6 growth for Lenny.

[Chiany]

but there needs to be some recognition by Sheldon as to what this really means to him.   I predicted it for this past year, but that growing up they need to do has been set up nicely, to be covered this year.  I envision something like the season 5 growth for Howardette and the season 6 growth for Lenny.

I hope you're right, otherwise him leaving has been pointless when it comes to his relationship with Amy. Not right away from ep 1 in s8, but at least some signs of progress.

[Tensor]

I hope you're right, otherwise him leaving has been pointless when it comes to his relationship with Amy. Not right away from ep 1 in s8, but at least some signs of progress.

 

Well, don't forget Penny didn't want to discuss their relationship, then she told the girls that she wasn't sure how she felt and may break up with him.  While she exhibited signs of jealousy in the third episode, it wasn't until the fifth episode before she started working on the relationship.  It wasn't until the sixth episode that Leonard started facing his own problems.  So, they will get there, but it will take time.

[gsxdoug]

Phanta, I think you had it exactly right in both of your last two posts

[phantagrae]

First of all, I think that many people are putting way too much weight on the scene in Amy's apartment, thinking that Sheldon is somehow running away from Amy or from their relationship or that the relationship is somehow endangered by him leaving, or that poor little delicate flower Amy is going to be devastated without Sheldon being there every day.

Though the circumstances under which he left were not ideal, neither were they aimed at Amy or their relationship.  While she inadvertantly added to his distress by pushing the "let's move in together" button, again, you need to look at her demeanor when she went to ask L/P if they knew where Sheldon was.  She wasn't heartbroken or even distressed.  She readily accepted their explanation that he probably needed some alone time.  She was smiling and happy when she sat down next to Penny and she wasn't even upset when Penny told her to leave.  She figured out in that moment that she was intruding on what was essentially a date.

 

So, even though Sheldon had just stormed out of her place, Amy wasn't over there worried that her relationship was over or that Sheldon was breaking up with her or anything like that.

And I don't think that Sheldon's running away has anything to do with the fundamentals of their relationship--it's not a sign of dysfunction or imbalance in the relationship.  Although Sheldon may be forced to consider Amy's proposal, going along with it may not be the best choice for him, and if that's the case, he might have to tell Amy that, if and when Leonard moves out or whatever.

But the main things he really needs to deal with are the L/P move and the prospect of living alone, his possible career change, and just learning to deal better with change and upheaval.

It could simply be a matter of just resetting his bearings, taking some time to accept the changes that are coming, but it doesn't necessarily have to do with any drastic changes to his relationship with Amy.

 

People keep talking as if he has to come back ready to be more physical with Amy, as if there is some dysfunction along those lines, or that he needs to have a more "adult relationship" (which sounds to me like people want him to come back ready to have sex with Amy), and that Amy is somehow going to weep her time away while he's gone.  As if she is nothing without Sheldon, or without him glued to her side.

 

If either of them had taken a summer job or taken part in some kind of study or whatever away from home--the way Leonard did last year--would the other be dying and pining way at home?  If not, then why should Amy be somehow broken because Sheldon felt the need to take some time away to think?

He's not shunning her or deserting her or breaking up with her or abusing her in some way that is somehow worthy of Amy shunning him or punishing him or giving him the cold shoulder when he returns.  He's obviously going to be talking to her regularly--possibly every night--while he's gone, so why would she be broken or have her self-confidence shattered?  Is she really that delicate?

 

And again, his leaving had nothing to do with rejecting her.  He rejected the idea of the two of them moving in together as a solution to his living arrangment problem, most especially because it was just more change on top of all the alarming changes that were swirling around him, and in his usual hyperbolic way, he exaggerated it for effect.  But he was not saying, "I don't want to spend my future with you!!!" as some people have been imagining.

 

He said that he wanted everything to stay the same--"nothing changes".  I don't think that means that he doesn't really want his relationship with Amy to eventually move forward (since he has obviously been taking some pretty remarkable--for him--steps forward since he met Amy), but in that moment of stress, the answer was not more upheaval, but maintaining the status quo.  He was lumping all the changes together as one thing--nothing changes.  Of course it was unrealistic, but that's how stressed he was becoming, to the point that he rejected the better-tasting Strawberry Quik simply because it was made "differently".

He was more upset when he left her apartment than she was.

 

At any rate, I just don't think that his relationship with Amy is the biggest issue that he's dealing with.  While he may have to consider the possibility of eventually living with Amy, and all that that might entail (sex), at this point, his main concern is learning to accept that some important things are going to change--like Leonard moving out, and the issue of his field of study.

Nothing has to drastically change immediately between him and Amy, as far as what had been going on between them before.  While they're on the verge of getting more physical--they've just barely learned how to kiss--there's nothing that says he is required to "give it up" simply to prove that they have a real relationship.  Or that he has to read her love poems or learn how to be "romantic" or turn into some cookie-cutter romance-novel boyfriend just to prove that he loves her.

While there may be ways that he could be more considerate or whatever, those are not the issues that caused him to run off.  It's not like he left Amy standing at the altar.

 

He was running away from overwhelming pressures brought on by everything coming at him at once.  While he mentioned to Stuart that one of his stressors was that his girlfriend loved him so much that she wanted to move in with him, he wasn't running away from Amy directly, in the same way that he wasn't running away from Leonard or from President Siebert.

He wasn't running away from people or from relationships, though the people in those relationships may be affected by his absence.  He was going to clear his head so he could think.

 

Amy's not the one with the problem to solve--in fact, she made herself part of the problem rather than a place of refuge for him.  He went to her, to vent, to seek a sympathetic ear, and she was providing that for him at first.  She let him rant, she made him a drink that she knew could calm him, she even offered him some help in considering that living alone might be okay.  If she hadn't insisted on bring up the "we could live together" issue, he could very easily have calmed down and maybe even begun to seriously consider the idea of living alone.

 

I just don't see Amy as this delicate, heartbroken little fairy, whose only self-worth is in having her boyfriend around 24/7.  While she may not be happy with his solution to working on his problems, she didn't hang up on him when he called, either.  Since we don't know how long that conversation was before the end of it that we heard, we have no idea how much he may have said to her or explained to her or whatever.

It's natural that she should miss him and blame Leonard or L/P for not talking him out of going, but I don't think it has to do with being devastated or having her self-esteem crushed by this one thing.

Edited July 1, 2014 by phantagrae

[Nogravitasatall]

Phanta, I think you had it exactly right in both of your last two posts

What, that "some peoples" reaction to the pillow was too much? But what about the escalations? Amy has a pillow now, next time it could be a bolster, or a wet towel. And Penny sat still and did nothing but look at her hand and not think to call. What if next time she steps in and does something? she's a meddlesome interfering queen bee, we all know that. Getting in the way and then not getting in the way all the time. Who knows what she might do or not do next. And Leonard should have ducked. Any real man would grabbed that swinging arm, broken it, then fed that pillow back down that perps throat, just like Seagal. Or pre-emptively pillowed her first. It's his fault. All it takes to stop a bad person with a pillow is a good guy with another pillow.

Luckily Sheldon had the good sense to take a time out.

[gsxdoug]

What, that "some peoples" reaction to the pillow was too much? But what about the escalations? Amy has a pillow now, next time it could be a bolster, or a wet towel. And Penny sat still and did nothing but look at her hand and not think to call. What if next time she steps in and does something? she's a meddlesome interfering queen bee, we all know that. Getting in the way and then not getting in the way all the time. Who knows what she might do or not do next. And Leonard should have ducked. Any real man would grabbed that swinging arm, broken it, then fed that pillow back down that perps throat, just like Seagal. Or pre-emptively pillowed her first. It's his fault. All it takes to stop a bad person with a pillow is a good guy with another pillow.

Luckily Sheldon had the good sense to take a time out.

Bored, are we?

[Kathy2611]

I love how you think Phanta!! I completely agree with everything you've said about this finale!!

Edited July 1, 2014 by Kathr2611

[Chaliceinnana]

There is a difference between taking a job that will improve your career and flaking out because you can't handle the challenges of adult life. If Sheldon was doing the first one, he would have discussed it with her and she'd be, as you say, toughing out the summer just fine. Amy'd have been prepared. She'd probably have made plans to visit him or to keep her self very busy with her own work.

 

What Sheldon did was different. Amy doesn't know when he's coming back or if he's finally having a nervous breakdown. Despite Penny's vast "intro to Psychology" training, she might not be the person to diagnosis if this is the big one. He left right after blowing up at her for, sorry, making what to most people was a pretty mild suggestion for down the road. She had a right to be more offended by his reaction then she was. One phone call probably isn't enough to reassure her that he is all right or that they are on solid ground.

 

Him not saying good bye to Amy in person before he left is a crappy thing to do to someone you care about. It isn't something that he can gloss over, it meant something. He needs to figure out what. That he didn't intend to say good bye to Penny and Leonard doesn't make not talking to Amy first any better either.

Edited July 1, 2014 by Chaliceinnana

[Nogravitasatall]

Bored, are we?

I think Sheldon is having a wonderful time, on his own and no others bothering him. He can do what he likes, when he likes. Journeying alone, making his own schedules. Heaven. I envy the beggar. My wife's on her own in Paris now, like Sheldon might be if he packed his passport. He might stop in on his way to CERN. He'd be mad not to take the opportunity as he has the time.

And imagine the satisfaction he'd be feeling away from the squabbling he left. Empathy with Sheldon from me. Heheh.

[Martin Pollard]

Or pre-emptively pillowed her first.

Ever read James Clavell's "Shōgun"? The term "pillowing" has a completely different meaning. :D

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy S3 using Tapatalk

[Nogravitasatall]

Ever read James Clavell's "Shōgun"? The term "pillowing" has a completely different meaning. :D

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy S3 using Tapatalk

I have read it, back in the 80s(?) but the bit that stayed with me was about a duck. Edited July 1, 2014 by Nogravitasatall

[3ku11]

I think everyone can agree Sheldon leaving effected everyone not just Amy. Like some pointed out he wasen't even going to let L and P know he was leaving, I don't think Sheldon was being selfish I just think he was just being his oblivious self to the circumstances, and tried to fix it the best he knows can by eliminating himself from the equation. I understand in the heat of the moment Amy blaming L/P for Sheldon leaving, or Penny's non chalent reaction confused a few people. But to me her reaction was "Well what are you going to do" kinda reacton, I think she was just letting Amy process her emotions properly. I also don't think Amy is so delicate her entire identity is based on her relationship with Sheldon, she shows a lot of restraint and self independence when Sheldon calls, or visits her lab. She has her own life outside the relationship, but she is just frustrated at the resistance Sheldon has to change. She probably shoulden't of suggested moving in, I don't think Sheldon is scared of being with Amy, but more the changes that are happening in his life that well effect his relationship with Amy, remember this is a guy who lives his life one moment at a time, and needs structure, routine, and order to function. Fundamentally the cores of his life are changing, to anyone else that is not a big deal, but it is too Sheldon. So I Think Penny's reaction was more a "I am not surprised" that happened reaction, more then "Amy get over it" reaction lol that some seem to implying, of course it is all up to interpretation. And their was a reason why Amy was not their at the train station, that would achieve nothing, it would most likely over whelm Sheldon even more. The point of that scene, was status quo changing between the three main characters, they needed to isolate the three main characters to send the impression Leonard and Penny are cutting the apron strings, like some have said Leonard and Amy have a much closer relationship with Sheldon, so they are more emotionally involved. Where as Penny when it comes to managing Sheldon's you could say mood swings, is more adept at doing so, she plays a more mother/sister role in his life, the protagonist, and neighbour so she has a more clear mind in the outcome Sheldon is seeking. Leonard was more emotionally invested as is Amy, so I guess that scene was done for a reason to me anyway.

Edited July 1, 2014 by 3ku11

[Itwasdestined]

There is a difference between taking a job that will improve your career and flaking out because you can't handle the challenges of adult life. If Sheldon was doing the first one, he would have discussed it with her and she'd be, as you say, toughing out the summer just fine. Amy'd have been prepared. She'd probably have made plans to visit him or to keep her self very busy with her own work.

 

What Sheldon did was different. Amy doesn't know when he's coming back or if he's finally having a nervous breakdown. Despite Penny's vast "intro to Psychology" training, she might not be the person to diagnosis if this is the big one. He left right after blowing up at her for, sorry, making what to most people was a pretty mild suggestion for down the road. She had a right to be more offended by his reaction then she was. One phone call probably isn't enough to reassure her that he is all right or that they are on solid ground.

 

Him not saying good bye to Amy in person before he left is a crappy thing to do to someone you care about. It isn't something that he can gloss over, it meant something. He needs to figure out what. That he didn't intend to say good bye to Penny and Leonard doesn't make not talking to Amy first any better either.

Now this I can agree with. Instead of attacking Penny and Leonard for not telling Amy, this is what its about. Sheldon's responsibility, Sheldon's fault, Sheldon should have called her. All on Sheldon. 

 

For those who have been on this forum a long time, I'm wondering what the reaction was to the way Penny ran away from Leonard at the bowling alley in Season 3, especially from Lenny shippers. For me there are parallels between that event and this one, Obviously this is made worse by being a cliffhanger causing all the fans emotionally involved to fret about it over a hiatus. But Leonard never really got closure on that event and while they reconciled as friends by the end of the next episode, he never really got an explanation for why it happened, even to this day. 

 

Now I agree with phanta that Sheldon's leaving was more to do about the stress of the changes caused by the engagement and work and not a breakdown in the relationship but for those who are concentrating on the Shamy relationship being the main issue to mend, just wondering if the Lennys were just as stressed out 4 years ago and whether Season 8 Shamy will follow the Season 4-6 Lenny path.

Edited July 2, 2014 by Itwasdestined

[3ku11]

Now this I can agree with. Instead of attacking Penny and Leonard for not telling Amy, this is what its about. Sheldon's responsibility, Sheldon's fault, Sheldon should have called her. All on Sheldon. 

 

Maybe Penny should of called Mary lol.

[Chaliceinnana]

However Leonard and penny have cell phones and brains in their heads. Unless they really believe the world revolves solely around the occupants of 4A and 4B, anyone with any sense would have given Amy a quick text on the way home from the train station.

 

Even if they thought she already knew, they would have been pissed off at HER for not calling THEM.  It's not a huge crime, but no text indicates they don't think she's important at all. That sucks too. But they learned to think that way from Sheldon. It's still on him.

 

Leonard tried to talk him out of it. I blame Leonard less.

Edited July 1, 2014 by Chaliceinnana

[3ku11]

However Leonard and penny have cell phones and brains in their heads. Unless they really believe the world revolves solely around the occupants of 4A and 4B, anyone with any sense would have given Amy a quick text on the way home from the train station.

 

Even if they thought she already knew, they would have been pissed off at HER for not calling THEM.  It's not a huge crime, but no text indicates they don't think she's important at all. That sucks too. But they learned to think that way from Sheldon. It's still on him.

 

Leonard tried to talk him out of it. I blame Leonard less.

 

No that's not true at all, I mean Sheldon is the one who choose to on a whim to walk out on his Friends and go to the train station. Based on that logic Sheldon has a cell phone too, isin't it his responsibility to let Amy know he is fine? I mean did Bernadette or Howard care where he was? At least L and P bothered too check if he was okay.

[phantagrae]

There is a difference between taking a job that will improve your career and flaking out because you can't handle the challenges of adult life. If Sheldon was doing the first one, he would have discussed it with her and she'd be, as you say, toughing out the summer just fine. Amy'd have been prepared. She'd probably have made plans to visit him or to keep her self very busy with her own work.

 

What Sheldon did was different. Amy doesn't know when he's coming back or if he's finally having a nervous breakdown. Despite Penny's vast "intro to Psychology" training, she might not be the person to diagnosis if this is the big one. He left right after blowing up at her for, sorry, making what to most people was a pretty mild suggestion for down the road. She had a right to be more offended by his reaction then she was. One phone call probably isn't enough to reassure her that he is all right or that they are on solid ground.

 

Him not saying good bye to Amy in person before he left is a crappy thing to do to someone you care about. It isn't something that he can gloss over, it meant something. He needs to figure out what. That he didn't intend to say good bye to Penny and Leonard doesn't make not talking to Amy first any better either.

 

Oh, please.

If all of this were intended by the writers, we would have had a very differently written finale.

 

What I meant by him being gone being no different from one of them taking a summer to work out of town or whatever is about Amy being alone without Sheldon.  Would she really have to stay "very busy with her own work" in order to endure being apart?  Is she some kind of parasite that she would need constant assurance from him while they're apart or else have to bury herself in work in order to keep her mind off of being alone?

 

Of course it was shocking to find out that he had just left town.  And it would have been much more shocking if Leonard hadn't figured out where he was before he left.

However, though he may not yet have specific plans on when he will return, the fact that he's checking in, again, probably every night, means that she is assured that he isn't having a nervous breakdown.  And Leonard and Penny talked to him and understand his reasoning--especially Leonard, who probably understands more than anyone the way Sheldon's mind works.

And though Penny doesn't have a degree in psychology, she's not an idiot, either.  In fact, what Amy might have done, if she'd been the one to find him at the train station, could have been worse--begging him to stay? weeping? threatening to break up with him? threatening to have him committed?  In the end, if Amy had forced him to stay, I think it would have been worse.  It would solve nothing if he truly needed to get away to think.

 

Although people see it as making excuses for Sheldon and his excesses, the truth about him as a character is that his mind works in a very peculiar and extreme way.  You can call it his pathology or his particular psychology or whatever, but the truth is that he is indeed hampered by his need to control his environment and that making drastic changes is much more difficult for him than for anyone else.

So, if that's the case--and most importantly, if that's the person that Amy is in love with--then certain allowances have to be made in order to KEEP HIM from "flaking out", as you put it.

So what might seem ridiculous for anyone else, is, in fact, the process that Sheldon has to go through.

We've seen him:

• struggle to adapt to living with another human being--he's difficult to live with because of his need to control his environment, and only Leonard has been understandable and adaptable and patient enough to deal with it
• struggle to adapt to expanding his life to include new friends--and Leonard was an important factor in that process, bring Howard, Raj, and even Penny into Sheldon's life early on
• struggle to understand what it means to be a boyfriend

And now we're seeing him struggle through the process of too many things changing all around him at once.  If it takes him time and the forging of schedules and contracts and other routines and parameters to adapt to any change, then having so many things swirling around him at once is, as he said, overwhelming.

 

While they haven't labeled Sheldon as being "on the spectrum", we all know that his character exhibits similar behaviors.  So, if he really did have Aspergers or another high-functioning form of autism, for instance, would it be surprising that such changes would crash like a beleagured computer?

So, even without a "diagnosis", we know that he has a peculiar mental development that both enables him to be a genius and hampers his ability to deal with some aspects of everyday life, most especially change.

 

Leonard recognized this when he first began the discussion with Sheldon about the possible changes to the living arrangements.  He said, "I know it's scary for you" or something along those lines.  He knew that the changes he was bring up were going to be hard for Sheldon to deal with.  What he didn't count on, perhaps, was how much the potential changes would combine with the already troublesome weight of his career choices (possibly even having to leave the university if they wouldn't let him change his field, and so forth), and then the suggestion of further change coming from Amy, and finally, the upheaval of his favorite refuge of escape being gone (and possibly not coming back.)

 

So, Sheldon isn't just running off in a temper tantrum, selfishly abandoning Amy to go play on the train.  He is handling the overwhelming situation the only way he can--he has to calm his mind so he can think.  If he is used to using thinking as his way of dealing with things, rather than, perhaps, simply relying on feelings, and then if his abilty to think clearly is hampered by the stress of drastic changes happening or threatening to happen in pretty much every aspect of his life, then the only way he can think is to get away from the stress and clear his head.

 

While it might be hard on Amy, it's not a personal affront toward her from him.  Having regular conversations maintains their connection while he's gone.  And I don't think she's gonna be boohooing her time away while he's traveling.  Why is it she can't just be supportive of his difficulty?  While everyone complains that she is the one having to do all the compromising, she's also the one better able to deal with it.

She understands him in ways that the others don't, though I think that Leonard and Penny, having known him longer than Amy, also know a great deal about how he functions.

So, why is it that she woudn't understand what he's going through and help him, over the phone, to get through whatever it is he's going through.

 

If she's stronger than him--and in some ways, perhaps she is--then why can't she be the strong one?  I'm not saying that SHeldon doesn't have to grow and adapt, etc., but I'm saying that in this thing, he is the vulnerable one, unable to deal with the circumstances, while she is in a normal position.  She's not having the crises that he is.  The only disruption for her is the fact that he ran off.

But he hasn't disappeared into the ether.  He hasn't turned his back on her--or on anyone else, either.  He's simply taken a "mental health break", getting away to decompress so that he can consider his options with a cooler head.

 

As for Amy's "mild suggestion"--it was actually pretty dang selfish of her.  She basically took advantage of his circumstance to push him in that direction.  While it might not be an altogether unreasonable suggestion to make--at the proper time--it was certainly not a good move to try to manipulate him into thinking about moving in with her.

What he needed was a sympathetic ear and a moment to calm down.  Instead, she chose to add to his burden by suggesting yet another change.  If he wasn't ready to change his living arrangements, then why would she suggest even further, more significant change?

He didn't run off right after talking to her--he went to the comic book store.  When he left Amy, he wasn't headed for the train station.  If the comic book store had been intact, he might have just used an evening of reading comics to calm himself so that he could return home and further contemplate his situation.  But the burned out store was the last straw and THAT'S what made him flee.

He had no acceptable refuge.

 

I think that the very fact that he felt beleaguered on every side may have been what led him to simply go without attempting to tell anyone.  If they were all adding to his burden--L/P by wanting to move or wanting him to move, Amy by wanting to move in with him (another change), the university by not letting him make the one change he wanted to make, and then Stuart by being sarcastic and unsympathetic--then I can understand him not wanting to talk to anyone, or maybe not being able to talk to anyone.

 

Whatever the circumstances, again, Sheldon wasn't abandoning her or denigrating his relationship to her.  And I don't think that she is so weak and fragile that she's going to shrivel up and die inside simply because of that misstep when he has larger issues to wrestle with.

 

Again, he wasn't running away from her or the relationship, but from the combined stress of all that was coming at him.  While they'll have a lot to talk about when he gets back, I think she was wrong on her part, as well, and played a role in his running away by adding to his stress level instead of helping him.