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Ki22

Why Can't Sheldon And Amy Have An Asexual Relationship?

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Again you have used the words "repressed", "Diagnosed"!   Sexuality is not an illness!  Regardless of the sexuality. 

On another note...He has not ruled out a "physical" relationship with Amy.  "Sheldon" did not say coitus. 

(I don't think.)  Have to watch it again...It is fine Sheldon moving on.....

I do not like the way you are portraying us Asexuals.

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Again you have used the words "repressed", "Diagnosed"!   Sexuality is not an illness!  Regardless of the sexuality. 

On another note...He has not ruled out a "physical" relationship with Amy.  "Sheldon" did not say coitus. 

(I don't think.)  Have to watch it again...It is fine Sheldon moving on.....

I do not like the way you are portraying us Asexuals.

 

What are you on about Sheldon is not Assexual, he is a ficitonal character. My point of reference, was with Asperges. Is they can analyze what it is in the context of the show, so they can make light of it without offending anyone. Their is no diagnosis that is my point, its fictional. Physical Relationship basically infers coitus. 

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I never brought up Aspergers (not the right spelling)...you must have been reading someone else.  No, a "Physical relationship" does not mean coitus for someone who is Asexual.  It means a physical relationship. TOUCHING...and being with each other.

just saying.

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Greetings fellow humans,

I saw this thread and had to sign up and interject.

I think it's possible everyone is missing an alternative explanation for Sheldon's disinterest in a physical relationship with Amy.

Being a genius, Sheldon knows if he were to show sexual interest in Amy (or any woman) she could then use sex to take control of the relationship and manipulate his behavior.

But by feigning no interest in sex, Sheldon accomplishes two things:

1.) He keeps Amy on her toes intellectually by giving her no choice but to attract him with her mind and thus secures a partner equal to his own intellectual abilities and needs.

And 2.) He maintains power and control of the relationship by revealing no sexual weakness Amy can exploit with her intrinsic feminine physical traits.

And note, this hypothesis is in keeping with what we already know about Sheldon's personality; he is someone who is so hyper aware and fearful of being exploited in relationship that he draws up long and detailed roommate and relationship agreements. Why wouldn't he be on guard against being exploited through sex?

Oh that Sheldon Cooper is a sly one.

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Greetings fellow humans,

I saw this thread and had to sign up and interject.

I think it's possible everyone is missing an alternative explanation for Sheldon's disinterest in a physical relationship with Amy.

Being a genius, Sheldon knows if he were to show sexual interest in Amy (or any woman) she could then use sex to take control of the relationship and manipulate his behavior.

But by feigning no interest in sex, Sheldon accomplishes two things:

1.) He keeps Amy on her toes intellectually by giving her no choice but to attract him with her mind and thus secures a partner equal to his own intellectual abilities and needs.

And 2.) He maintains power and control of the relationship by revealing no sexual weakness Amy can exploit with her intrinsic feminine physical traits.

And note, this hypothesis is in keeping with what we already know about Sheldon's personality; he is someone who is so hyper aware and fearful of being exploited in relationship that he draws up long and detailed roommate and relationship agreements. Why wouldn't he be on guard against being exploited through sex?

Oh that Sheldon Cooper is a sly one.

Disagree...but will have to thing about how to respond.

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This show is supposed to be about the characters growing up. If Amy gave up the fight fir intimacy and allowed Sheldon to remain asexual,he wouldn't have any growing up to do

 

Really?! 

 

Sigh!

 

I'm going to let you answer this one Ki22......my brain hurts (shakes head). :(

 

post-9820-0-22972400-1415379063_thumb.gi

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If the writers had made the point of implying, overtly or not, that Sheldon was actually asexual at the beginning, then perhaps one could see it as a "change".

 

But I think what they did more often was imply that he was pre-adolescent and innocent because he hadn't YET experienced the things that the others had.  Maybe the implication was that he had a low sex drive.  Or maybe it was true that what turns him on is different than what turns the other guys on.

He's not inticed by large breasts or scantily clad women, but he does seem to be turned, or attracted to, women who are very intelligent and can challenge and stimulate him intellectually, which in turn has sparked his libido.

 

I think that many of us can look at other people, male or female, and not be sexually attracted to them at all, not have any need to have sex, or think about sex in relation to those people.  But certain things can spark that flame, whether it's a look, a certain quality or whatever.

 

If Sheldon's sex drive was simply waiting to be awakened by the right person and/or circumstance, that doesn't mean that he went from being written as an asexual person to now being written as a sexualized person.

 

It means that his sexuality was simply latent, "present or potential, but not evident or active".  I think that that's what the writers have gone for.

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I would not disagree with that development for the Character.  That is probably what they will do.

It was just nice to have a character "kinda" like us...I know it is going to change...as long as it is consistent and funny...I am ok.

I just don't like the "UNATURAL" talk that I have been hit with on this.  It is sad.

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On another line of thought.....There are Asexuals out there who do have sex with people they are involved with (strong or "close" friends) people they LOVE .   The other person does need, want, desire, and are interested.  It is not like asexuals can't have sex...We have a nervous system...It is just not a part our lives or the way we express ourselves.  When asexual people are in that relationship they really need to have good communication with the other person.  Miscommunication is a problem in those relationships.  I am a "neutral"..so I do not know everything about other asexuals in the spectrum.  I am trying to learn more.  I would like to be an advocate...but have not found a group yet.

I don't know what else to say.

Sexuality is not an illness to be diagnosed...(hedro not part of this diagnosis?)  Anyway...just my current thought.  Probably be back to add more...even thought this is a done deal.

Ki

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Sorry but I don't think the success of the show relies on Sheldon's sex life. If the writers decided to write him asexual from the start I doubt they would change that now. If they did things out of pressure they would have made Sheldon and Penny an item and they told so. They had requests but never wanted to see that one through cause they were telling a different story. It's the same now. Actually this is the story they want to tell no pressure or anything else. And I am not saying that you don't have legitimate reasons to suspect he seemed as an asexual character. Many of us thought he were including me. I am just a little surprised and maybe offended that you would think that all these people that make this show a success would turn their televisions off if Sheldon was asexual and happy. Believe me I understand that people can be mean and judgmental but nowadays things are a little better right? And I think that's why all these people responded to your message cause you're saying something about the people who write the story and the people who enjoy it while basically you know neither of them. And I am sorru but you are the only one who is referring to labels concerning sexual orientation. Without even knowing our orientation. Unrelated to the show that makes at least me nervous like I have to choose something to be and I cannot be something else cause the label comes with a little box and either you fit there or go find another box. Anyway I think this is also another reason people responded to your post. They made Sheldon's story quite consistent and believable and I am sorry if that ruins the character for you but I doubt he was changed to fit in a specific model.

I love the writers and do not expect them to do a specific thing...I know that they need the story to be successful.  Boring is not that.

It is not going to be interesting to "normal" people.  I am fine if they keep true to the story and are funny.  I never said the success of the show relied on "Sheldon's sex life".  It relies on great "plots and humor"!

Edited by Ki22

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I love the writers and do not expect them to do a specific thing...I know that they need the story to be successful. Boring is not that.

It is not going to be interesting to "normal" people. I am fine if they keep true to the story and are funny. I never said the success of the show relied on "Sheldon's sex life". It relies on great "plots and humor"!

No, I didn't mean that you said that. But you did say that the writers will change Sheldon from asexual to sexual to fit the public view of normal. So, my argument is that if Sheldon was written as asexual he would still be cause that's not the important thing on the show. I think the writers deliberately didn't state with clarity what "his deal" is so that they could have options in the future.

Sorry, I didn't understand what won't be interesting for "normal" people? Anyway to answer to your original question Sheldon and Amy could have an asexual relationship but the writers happened to want something else about them. From my experience from that forum I know that many people like them regardless so if they kept them asexual but interesting and funny they would be in this ship. From my experience from people in the real world well they just don't really care as long as the show is funny.

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Well, the writers could've made them asexual, but they decided against it, so what's the deal?

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Well, the writers could've made them asexual, but they decided against it, so what's the deal?

They have not done that... decided against it.  He still acts asexual...

I should not have to point out that LOVE is not sex.

"I Love You" does not mean "I want to have sex"

There is a whole group of Asexuals who do have sex.

Three reasons "basic" ...pleasure, stress reduction, because they are in a relationship and the other person needs it...and they love them.

I don't think the episodes I have seen..."Prom" is the last I have seen...Say that Sheldon is anything other than that.  He has just never had this kind of connection before.   Neither has Amy BTW.   We don't know where this with go.  It could be anything...as long as it is true and funny...again!

ki

Because they don't want one? I don't know. I think its clear now that Sheldon has urges 

Sheldon Loves Amy...that is His URGE.  We have known that for quite a while now....Sheldon just has not said it.

Suspense!...Surprise!

How do you know they don't want one?

Might be interesting in a boring way....

They never had Homosexuals on T.V.before either.

Just saying.

ki

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No, I didn't mean that you said that. But you did say that the writers will change Sheldon from asexual to sexual to fit the public view of normal. So, my argument is that if Sheldon was written as asexual he would still be cause that's not the important thing on the show. I think the writers deliberately didn't state with clarity what "his deal" is so that they could have options in the future.

Sorry, I didn't understand what won't be interesting for "normal" people? Anyway to answer to your original question Sheldon and Amy could have an asexual relationship but the writers happened to want something else about them. From my experience from that forum I know that many people like them regardless so if they kept them asexual but interesting and funny they would be in this ship. From my experience from people in the real world well they just don't really care as long as the show is funny.

They will change Him to a more "normal" person because most people do know asexual.   No interest. No information in the forefront.  I never knew anything when I was young...this was not ever talked about. This was not a "natural state" and still is not considered a natural state by many people.  

The Sheldon character started as kinda Hedro but intellectual.  Then he became more like a asexual over the early years... all of his reactions and acts reflected that he was...asexual.  It is only since...season 6 really that he has became more attentive to his "love" Amy.  He can still be asexual and still in love....and asexuals on one side of the spectrum ...do have sex...out of love.

Again....as long as it fits the story and is funny...it is fine.

(p.s. was homosexuality a "cause" when it became part of prime time?)

ki

Edited by Ki22

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They have not done that... decided against it.  He still acts asexual...

I should not have to point out that LOVE is not sex.

"I Love You" does not mean "I want to have sex"

There is a whole group of Asexuals who do have sex.

Three reasons "basic" ...pleasure, stress reduction, because they are in a relationship and the other person needs it...and they love them.

I don't think the episodes I have seen..."Prom" is the last I have seen...Say that Sheldon is anything other than that.  He has just never had this kind of connection before.   Neither has Amy BTW.   We don't know where this with go.  It could be anything...as long as it is true and funny...again!

ki

Sheldon Loves Amy...that is His URGE.  We have known that for quite a while now....Sheldon just has not said it.

Suspense!...Surprise!

How do you know they don't want one?

Might be interesting in a boring way....

They never had Homosexuals on T.V.before either.

Just saying.

ki

 

Oh, I don't think he acts asexual. He said he has not ruled it out and in the last episode he talked about his urges. And, no, when he said "urges" he meant sex, not that he loves Amy. I doubt they would make him asexual after all the progression he and Amy had in the last few seasons. Would be a bit boring. Btw, why is that so important to you? And they never had homosexuals on TV before? What?! You're kidding, right?

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Oh, I don't think he acts asexual. He said he has not ruled it out and in the last episode he talked about his urges. And, no, when he said "urges" he meant sex, not that he loves Amy. I doubt they would make him asexual after all the progression he and Amy had in the last few seasons. Would be a bit boring. Btw, why is that so important to you? And they never had homosexuals on TV before? What?! You're kidding, right?

 

Don't bother replying, it clear to everyone, especially after the Prom episode that he wants to have sex (or make love if you will) to Amy.

He's just not ready for it.

 

Think we should close this thread now.

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Don't bother replying, it clear to everyone, especially after the Prom episode that he wants to have sex (or make love if you will) to Amy.

He's just not ready for it.

 

Think we should close this thread now.

Well, I think the point she's been trying to insist upon is that the writers implied at first that he was asexual, or that she thought that was the implication, but that they had changed him in order to conform him to what most people think is normal.

I disagree that they ever implied such a thing, but there you go.

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Well we all see life through our own lens don't we?  Yes, I certainly saw Sheldon as asexual before Amy came along, he seemingly "had no deal" although he did masturbate (as asexuals sometimes do).

 

He has a connection with Amy that is currently demi-romantic that is veering toward demisexual in my opinion.  Yes, labels suck.  Why label someone? I agree, but (and here I am going to cut and paste from the AVEN wiki page) I think if we are going to argue about what he is and isn't then, to me, this is the best fit:-

 

demisexual is a person who does not experience sexual attraction unless they form a strong emotional connection with someone. It's more commonly seen in but by no means confined to romantic relationships. The term demisexual comes from the orientation being "halfway between" sexual and asexual. Nevertheless, this term does not mean that demisexuals have an incomplete or half-sexuality, nor does it mean that sexual attraction without emotional connection is required for a complete sexuality. In general, demisexuals are not sexually attracted to anyone of any gender; however, when a demisexual is emotionally connected to someone else (whether the feelings are romantic love or deep friendship), the demisexual experiences sexual attraction and desire, but only towards the specific partner or partners.

When describing demisexuality as an orientation to sexuals, sexuals often mistake it as an admirable choice rather than an innate orientation. Demisexuals are not choosing to abstain; they simply lack sexual attraction until a close relationship is formed.

According to one hypothetical model, a person who identifies as a demisexual does not experience primary sexual attraction but does experience secondary sexual attraction. In this model, primary sexual attraction is based on outward qualities such as a person's looks, clothes, or personality while secondary sexual attraction is attraction stemming from a connection, usually romantic, or from status or how closely the person is in relationship to the other.

Though factors such as looks and personality do not affect primary sexual attraction for demisexuals (since demisexuals do not experience primary sexual attraction), such factors may affectromantic attraction, as with any other orientation.

"Demisexual" is sometimes out under the gray-A umbrella. Demisexuality differs from gray-asexuality in that demisexuality is a specific sexual orientation in between "sexual" and "asexual", whereas "gray-A" is a highly unspecific catch-all used for anything between sexual and asexual that does not fit.

Demisexuality may make forming romantic or sexual relationships more difficult for some people. Demisexuals often make first impressions with sexuals of being "just friends", which may make them sexually value the relationship less.

Demis may also append a gender orientation to the label, as in "Demi-heterosexual".

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Oh, I don't think he acts asexual. He said he has not ruled it out and in the last episode he talked about his urges. And, no, when he said "urges" he meant sex, not that he loves Amy. I doubt they would make him asexual after all the progression he and Amy had in the last few seasons. Would be a bit boring. Btw, why is that so important to you? And they never had homosexuals on TV before? What?! You're kidding, right?

Homosexuals...."SARCASM sign".

The problem is...people who do have "urges" cannot understand.  And yes Sheldon does fit in to the spectrum of Asex.

I am neutral...so I do not have all of the information for other asex people.

I just need to know what the informational problem is.

ki

Don't bother replying, it clear to everyone, especially after the Prom episode that he wants to have sex (or make love if you will) to Amy.

He's just not ready for it.

 

Think we should close this thread now.

If you can't understand something or it threatens your way of thinking...dig a whole and bury it.   The prom episode simply had Sheldon tell Amy that he LOVES her.

 

Fine.

lets just bury things we disagree with.

empty....

ki

Edited by Tensor

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Homosexuals...."SARCASM sign".

The problem is...people who do have "urges" cannot understand.  And yes Sheldon does fit in to the spectrum of Asex.

I am neutral...so I do not have all of the information for other asex people.

I just need to know what the informational problem is.

ki

If you can't understand something or it threatens your way of thinking...dig a whole and bury it.   The prom episode simply had Sheldon tell Amy that he LOVES her.

 

Fine.

lets just bury things we disagree with.

empty....

ki

Sheldon clearly stated he has a urges now.

Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin.

That was conversations about sex, not love. That's the reason Chiany pointed out, this thread could be closed now. We now have answer to your question. He admitted he have sexual urges to someone, but is not ready just yet. Because he didn't have sex, doesn't mean he's asexual, and he has "desire," so I don't think this fits to the spectrum too. Writers just decided to leave his orientation "open," and now, they gave us the answer. It could be interesting to have asexual relationship on tv, but now, whether you like it or not, the answer to "why cant' Sheldon and Amy have an asexual relationship?" Is "because they are not asexuals." 

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I think there is a great deal of confusion on this site concerning asexuality.  I am not an asexual but there is a plethora of information online if you care to look. 

 

I’ll give you the basics:-

 

Firstly, @ ThePhantom, asexuals do not need to ‘grow up’.  I find the notion of some forms of sexuality being ‘a phase’ (and this is sadly a very common viewpoint) highly offensive as well as your idea that Amy should ‘keep up the fight’ (i.e. bully Sheldon into submission).

 

Asexuals are not sexually attracted to people.  Asexuals often have sexual urges (“a cross we all must bear”) and they deal with them through masturbation (or Kolinahr ;) ).

 

Demisexuals are asexuals that have developed a sexual attraction to a person that they have a close bond with.  This sexual attraction is exclusive to that person.

 

So, do I think Sheldon has been portrayed as asexual up to now? Yes, yes I do?

 

Sheldon has never shown any signs of sexual attraction to anyone, apart from Amy.  She is his exception.  His one and only. 

 

All his other interactions have been asexual. I know there are some that will argue that he was flirting with Penny in the first episode but, even if he was, this is again different to a definite sign of sexual attraction. 

 

The first, and to my mind, only concrete sign of sexual attraction was Sheldon’s unconscious body movement when he kissed Amy on the train, that has been the only action that has gone beyond flirtation.

 

So, before you call for this thread to be closed (seriously, how arrogant?) why not investigate for yourself what asexuality actually is and is not.

 

It is not lack of urges. It is the absence of sexual attraction to other people

 

Here it is explained in a nutshell (with pictures even)….

http://www.wikihow.com/Understand-Asexual-People

 

…and here are some interesting links regarding demisexuality and the AVEN organisation…

http://www.reddit.com/r/demisexuality/comments/2ghmxg/do_demis_have_dormant_sex_drives_until_they/

http://www.asexuality.org/home/

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ATOB, while I agree with most of your post, I'll disagree with saying he was portrayed as a asexual. As he now appears to be at least a Demisexual, I'd say they were portraying him as a demisexual, prior to Amy, as I don't think you can really tell the difference, until the attraction kicks in. I think it would be easier, and less confusing to say, much like the Autism claims, that he on the spectrum for asexuality. Of course the writers won't label him, because it limits what they can do.

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