Jump to content
The Big Bang Theory Forums
Sign in to follow this  
Ki22

Why Can't Sheldon And Amy Have An Asexual Relationship?

Recommended Posts

Asexuals on one part of the spectrum "do have sex", Not because they need, desire, or have any interest in it.  It is for the simple case that the person they are with is not an asexual. That person has that need... and the asexual LOVEs them and wants to be with them.  Asexuals can have sex...we have the equipment and it is "fully functional".

We are not unable....we have a working nervous system.  We again....don't have need, desire, or interest in that kind of relationship.   I am to understand that those people need to communicate more.  But those couples do exist.   (not out of the realm of Sheldon and Amy) and it does include your much needed sex.  I don't know if this helps you understand my point or not.

ki

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Why can't it happen was my Q.

And why should it was mine. Quite a few people here have given you a reason why it can't, but you haven't given a reason beyond it would be a role model type thing for you.

 

If it was written like that...would people be turned off by the show?

Probably some would. Some were turned off by the fact that Sheldon entered into a relationship and more got upset when he kissed Amy. Do you object to those that didn't like that he was in a relationship? If not, then whether or not someone else objects to the content really doesn't matter, does it?

Probably some were turned off by Jim admitting he was gay. We know some are turned off by Kaley's hair. You will find some will be turned off no matter which way the show goes, which really makes your question moot.

 

He kinda does at this point, objects to some of it...

Yeah, he objected to it so much, he stepped into the kiss and continued it for quite a while. He was also obviously affected by it afterward.

 

I am in fan fiction section....right?

ki

No, you're in the show section. The fan fiction section is for discussions having to do with written fan fiction, critiques of fan fiction, the idea of fan fiction in general and plots for fan fiction. I went back and check and since you never mentioned any of that in your OP, it was moved out of fan fiction.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

And why should it was mine. Quite a few people here have given you a reason why it can't, but you haven't given a reason beyond it would be a role model type thing for you.

"should" is a different Q.  I am not in the Industry....hmmmm..I can only think of two outside possibilities...1 the story already has that at this point. 2 It would be a "first" but I don't think that they are in to that sort of thing.  So, no there is not a reason that they "should" do that story line. BTW...reasons written here "why can't" are mostly written by people who do not have enough information about asexuality...I gave a link for them to be more informed....they did not bother to look at and don't care to.  The "reasons" written do not discount the possibility of asexuality.

Probably some would. Some were turned off by the fact that Sheldon entered into a relationship and more got upset when he kissed Amy. Do you object to those that didn't like that he was in a relationship? If not, then whether or not someone else objects to the content really doesn't matter, does it?

No, I do not object to a relationship or a kiss....like I said many times before, Asexuals do sometimes have relationships with people who are not asexual and they do for them what they need out of "LOVE"!

Probably some were turned off by Jim admitting he was gay. We know some are turned off by Kaley's hair. You will find some will be turned off no matter which way the show goes, which really makes your question moot.

"Admitting" is probably not the word you were looking for when it comes to Jim..."disclosing" might be a better fit. Kaley's hair is her own business....they have wigs if they don't like it in the show. No Q or opinion is ever "moot".   Communication is key to understanding each other and getting to know other perspectives.  Everybody can speak... even if we disagree.

Yeah, he objected to it so much, he stepped into the kiss and continued it for quite a while. He was also obviously affected by it afterward.

 Character wise...this was the first time "Sheldon" initiated a kiss...this was a new experience for him... Yes he savored it. He had to be reminded after....

No, you're in the show section. The fan fiction section is for discussions having to do with written fan fiction, critiques of fan fiction, the idea of fan fiction in general and plots for fan fiction. I went back and check and since you never mentioned any of that in your OP, it was moved out of fan fiction.

Did not mean to be unclear. Did not mean to be in the wrong place.

Thanks for the clarification...seriously.

I don't know how to do the color separation thing that you do...not tech savvy. sorry

 

Ki, I bolded my comments to make it clearer.

Edited by Tensor

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"should" is a different Q.  I am not in the Industry....hmmmm..I can only think of two outside possibilities...1 the story already has that at this point. 2 It would be a "first" but I don't think that they are in to that sort of thing.  So, no there is not a reason that they "should" do that story line. 

BTW...reasons written here "why can't" are mostly written by people who do not have enough information about asexuality...I gave a link for them to be more informed....they did not bother to look at and don't care to.  The "reasons" written do not discount the possibility of asexuality.

But, you didn't specify this in your OP, if you require this now, then you are changing the requirements, after posters have given you reasons. You also said MOSTLY, what about those answers that fall under your requirements. Not to mention, just because you don't agree with them, doesn't mean they are valid.

 

 

No, I do not object to a relationship or a kiss....

Your question was whether some would be turned off by an asexual relationship, and your answer ignores that while you don't object, there were those who did object and were turned off by the change in Sheldon. So how is someone getting turned off by an asexual relationship, any different than others getting turned off by the other things?

 

like I said many times before, Asexuals do sometimes have relationships with people who are not asexual and they do for them what they need out of "LOVE"!

Which has nothing to do with exactly what people don't like about the show, so I'm not sure why you point it out here.

 

"Admitting" is probably not the word you were looking for when it comes to Jim..."disclosing" might be a better fit.

How about acknowledge? Or, maybe affirm confirm, announce, declare, reveal, tell, concede, confess etc. They can all be considered synonyms, and thus interchangeable. So your preference may not be mine.

 

Kaley's hair is her own business....they have wigs if they don't like it in the show.

No Q or opinion is ever "moot".   Communication is key to understanding each other and getting to know other perspectives.  Everybody can speak... even if we disagree.

Your question:

If it was written like that...would people be turned off by the show?

Seems to ignore all those other various things about the show and it's cast that turn people off. Jim's sexual orientation, Kaley's hair, Priya, no Shenny, etc. have all upset some people. Almost anyone can find something to object to, so trying to pick out one thing  

 

Yeah, he objected to it so much, he stepped into the kiss and continued it for quite a while. He was also obviously affected by it afterward.

Character wise...this was the first time "Sheldon" initiated a kiss...this was a new experience for him... Yes he savored it.

So he savored it, that doesn't sound as if the character is someone who objects to physicality in a relationship or is a neutral.

 

He had to be reminded after....

Which means what, exactly, after seeing that he enjoyed it?

 

 

Did not mean to be unclear. Did not mean to be in the wrong place.

Thanks for the clarification...seriously.

ki

Not a problem, just wanted to let you know why it wasn't in fan fiction.

 

I don't know how to do the color separation thing that you do...not tech savvy. sorry

Again, no problem, if you want to know how quoting works, send me a PM and I'll explain it for you, with examples.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Why should it happen?

 

Since Amy definitely wants a sexual relationship and Sheldon seemingly no longer objects to it. We'll never know, will we?

Yes we will....when the writers write it.

I am just saying it is a possibility based on what they have written so far.

I have seen no arguments here which occludes that kind of relationship.

Also...I agree with you....ALL people may share their opinions without fear of being unheard.  We all need to listen to each other and respect each others opinions ...even if you think they are wrong.  I do think some are wrong...based on my experience and ideology...I do read, however, I may need to think before I respond.   Some are not understanding me....that is the way it works.  I am sorry that I have upset you.

I am not looking for a poster boy or girl...I just said it was nice and not out of the "story line " yet.  The story is up to the story writers...not us.

ki

Edited by Ki22
  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

ATOB, I never said that asexuality was a phase.It just seems like they are building up to Sheldon becoming demisexual.Yes, up until Season 7 he was displayed as asexual but he is slowing getting more intimate with Amy. The 2 kisses last season and the "I love you" this season proved that. I don't see why Amy would give up after all of that when he is clearly making some progress

I hate the fact that you are of the opinion that Asexuals can't or do not love.  We love. We are not incapable of that.  We are also not incapable of sex...we have the equipment...we have a functioning nervous system....we can have sex.  We just do not have the same level of need, desire, or interest that heterosexual people have.  We are a bit different.

ki

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I hate the fact that you are of the opinion that Asexuals can't or do not love.  We love. We are not incapable of that.  We are also not incapable of sex...we have the equipment...we have a functioning nervous system....we can have sex.  We just do not have the same level of need, desire, or interest that heterosexual people have.  We are a bit different.

ki

 

So in your opinion, when does someone stop being Asexual?

I haven't read into all the different kind of sexual "states" someone can be in, so I am curious to know when you will think Sheldon can't be considered as an Asexual anymore?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So in your opinion, when does someone stop being Asexual?

I haven't read into all the different kind of sexual "states" someone can be in, so I am curious to know when you will think Sheldon can't be considered as an Asexual anymore?

When do you plan on changing your sexual orientation?

Asexuality is not a state, nor a 'phase' one goes through. It's how you are. You don't get to choose, you don't 'grow out of it'.

Asexuality is an inherrant sexual orientation.

Asexuals are not sexually attracted to other people (however, they can experience sexual arousal and masturbate).

Demisexuals are sexually attracted to people with whom they have a close bond. They do not experience primary sexual attraction (where you see someone and fancy them) but secondary sexual attraction which stems from developing a romantic bond with someone.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know it's not a state, I just didn't know the correct phrase (English isn't my native language), that's why I put it between the " .

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is getting too deep. This is not about Assexual people in real life. But in the context of a fictional character. Assexual or not. It is up to the writers to do it or not. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is getting too deep. This is not about Assexual people in real life. But in the context of a fictional character. Assexual or not. It is up to the writers to do it or not.

The writers will do what they will of course.

There are many reasons some viewers (or ex viewers) object to Sheldon 'changing' to be in a relationship. They liked him as his obtuse, abrasive, asexual self. They can't stand Amy. They think he should be with Penny. They criticise the writers for 'changing' him.

If he's demisexual, then there's been no change has there?

Sorry to be too profound. I suppose I could go worry about Kaley's hair instead.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If he's demisexual, then there's been no change has there?

 

 

I guess this is my biggest complaint about the "changing" Sheldon's sexuality thing.  I suppose that if someone is bound and determined to see him only as an asexual with no interest in sex, then they will be disappointed that he is changing.  But as a demi-sexual, as you rightly point out, he isn't changing, but he is still an asexual.  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The writers will do what they will of course.

There are many reasons some viewers (or ex viewers) object to Sheldon 'changing' to be in a relationship. They liked him as his obtuse, abrasive, asexual self. They can't stand Amy. They think he should be with Penny. They criticise the writers for 'changing' him.

If he's demisexual, then there's been no change has there?

Sorry to be too profound. I suppose I could go worry about Kaley's hair instead.

Are you saying I dont have the capacity to have a profound conversation? Because thats how it came across, with the little snide comment about Kaleys hair. Theirs nothing complex about Assexual in the context of the show. All were doing is speculating and filling space with words.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

When do you plan on changing your sexual orientation?

Asexuality is not a state, nor a 'phase' one goes through. It's how you are. You don't get to choose, you don't 'grow out of it'.

Asexuality is an inherrant sexual orientation.

Asexuals are not sexually attracted to other people (however, they can experience sexual arousal and masturbate).

Demisexuals are sexually attracted to people with whom they have a close bond. They do not experience primary sexual attraction (where you see someone and fancy them) but secondary sexual attraction which stems from developing a romantic bond with someone.

You do not ever quit being who you are sexually... I have been asexual my whole life.  I am 47 and NOT "confused", nor, do I have a disability, or a dysfunction.

We are who we are.

Yes, this is the story...so far...it is up to the writers.

The reason I have been arguing is because, many people who have posted, do not seem to know what Asexuality is.  As a result of the misunderstanding, many "reasons" have been put forth which are not applicable to Asexuality.  Just trying to inform.  Sorry if feelings are hurt on your side as well.

I don't mean for there to be animosity...just a clear conversation.

I stick to my opinion however...If it was an Asexual relationship...it would not change much of the story or interfere with the groundwork already written by the writers.   They would be the same couple.  Even if Sheldon was a "neutral".

ki

Edited by Ki22

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Are you saying I dont have the capacity to have a profound conversation? Because thats how it came across, with the little snide comment about Kaleys hair. Theirs nothing complex about Assexual in the context of the show. All were doing is speculating and filling space with words.

My comment was in relation to this post:

This is getting too deep. This is not about Assexual people in real life. But in the context of a fictional character. Assexual or not. It is up to the writers to do it or not.

You don't get to orchestrate what others on here choose to discuss. If the subject doesn't appeal then don't read the thread. Who are you to determine whether what others feel is relevant?

You criticised me for being "too deep" and the jibe was at my own expense, suggesting I should stick to discussing Kaley's hair in future so as not to offend.

Seriously, get over yourself. And try to knock that chip off your shoulder, no-one's ever suggested you're unintelligent (from what I've seen) but you've accused people of it three times lately (on here and on Shipping Lanes).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I do not think that Asexuality is a threat to the "Shamy"... I feel it would not harm anything in the relationship...if the Writers chose to go that way.

I do feel that there are many people who do not understand and so are not ok with this idea.  It does not harm the "Shamy".  Or what has been the story so far.  I may come from a different "place",but, I want the same things for the show that we all do.  For it to be the best show on the air!

Open forum talk....that's all.

ki

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Question (title of this topic): Why can't Sheldon & Amy have an asexual relationship?

Answer: Because they're not asexual.

How do I know this? Because it's a "label" in a lot of people's eyes and the writers aren't about to put a label on any of the characters. It's why they insist that Sheldon isn't autistic or has Aspergers. Simple as that.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"Not Asexual" is also a label.

Hmm, I do wonder sometimes if I watch a different show to other people.

The last episode I watched (Prom) had Sheldon having a panic attack at the idea of having sex with Amy.

We have had one instance of unconscious sexual attraction (the train kiss) shown on screen. Perhaps the writers won't go in the direction that a lot of Shamy fans want (me included in this number BTW) and leave them in a non-sexual relationship. I hope not. It'd be rough on Amy. But we can't just make things up to suit our head canon (we've got fan fiction for that).

The Shamy relationship has not progressed any further than demi-romantic so far. And that's fact.

I reckon (and really hope) it's going the way of a demisexual relationship, but the writers will do what they will won't they.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Or its just a 30 minute light hearted comedy. And this conversation imo is way to deep for its purpose. Should Shamy have a Assexual Relationship? No.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Or its just a 30 minute light hearted comedy. And this conversation imo is way to deep for its purpose. Should Shamy have a Assexual Relationship? No.

 

And so?  If you think it is way to deep for the show, don't read it.  Since this thread is specific to this topic, it can get as deep as it wants to get.  

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hmm, I do wonder sometimes if I watch a different show to other people.

The last episode I watched (Prom) had Sheldon having a panic attack at the idea of having sex with Amy.

That episode also had Sheldon admitting to having urges and that he was open to the idea. I came away from that episode believing that Sheldon's issues with sex have more to do with phobias than some kind of sexual orientation, whatever that may be.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That episode also had Sheldon admitting to having urges and that he was open to the idea. I came away from that episode believing that Sheldon's issues with sex have more to do with phobias than some kind of sexual orientation, whatever that may be.

I agree. I think he's a heterosexual but because of all his germs and touch phobias, he's learned to suppress it all these years (Kolinar, anyone?) until Amy came along. Now he's more open to a more physical relationship with her but again, because of his phobias, it's taking a lot longer than it would other heterosexuals. But that's just how I see it.

Sure in earlier seasons, he came off as asexual but after Amy, there are clues everywhere that he's not.

I'm not an asexual but would an asexual say, feel, or think the following:

"Fascinating" (after being kissed)

"She is not for you! Not for you!" (when he thought Leonard and Amy had sex. Showing jealousy)

"Why is everyone so obsessed with Amy and Stuart? And whether or not they may be having more pumpkin lattes or intercourse tonight?" (why would he care if she's having intercourse with someone else if he himself isn't interested in doing so himself someday once he gets over his phobias?)

Actually interrupting her date with Stuart to make her his girlfriend and then actually breaking into her apartment and waiting for her when she gets home from said date to sign the relationship agreement instead of waiting until a more appropriate time.

"Her efforts are causing me to have affectionate feelings for her at inappropriate times."

"....when suddenly the particles morphed into an image of Amy's dandruff gently cascading down onto her pale, slightly hunched shoulders." (keep in mind, he hasn't bathed her yet while she was sick. Has he been picturing her naked?)

"What has that vixen done to me and how do I make it stop?" (Sounds like he's becoming PHYSICALLY ATTRACTED to her. Isn't that something asexuals can't do?)

I don't mean to sound offensive to anyone who is asexual (yes, I know there are people out there who really are asexual) but I seriously don't think he is now or ever was in the beginning. I think it's been his phobias that's been holding him back (and no other girl he's met before Amy has been worth it for him to try and change) the whole time and he's let everyone believe what they want. As Leonard states when Penny asks what Sheldon's deal is, they've been OPERATING UNDER THE ASSUMPTION that he has no deal. Nobody actually asked Sheldon himself.

And if he does have a form of asexuality, then yeah, I would agree he's Demisexual and it's just been realized after Amy came along.

But again, I think IMO, he never was asexual to begin with.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That episode also had Sheldon admitting to having urges and that he was open to the idea. I came away from that episode believing that Sheldon's issues with sex have more to do with phobias than some kind of sexual orientation, whatever that may be.

Yes that's what I thought too. Also, I always thought it was a conscious choice because he thought that if he ever became interested in sex he would probably lose some of his intelligence.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm on my phone, so I'm not even going to attempt to break my reply into points.

Again, an asexual person can have "urges" ("a cross we all must bear") which they take care of themselves.

Again, Asexual people are not sexually attracted to other people. That's it! In a nutshell.

Again, a demisexual IS still an asexual person.

Demisexuals do not experience primary sexual attraction ("hoo!"). Demisexuals experience secondary sexual attraction. Their attraction is developed from a strong emotional bond. I guess this is the thinking behind Amy's frumpy attire.

Sheldon displayed as Asexual in every way before Amy came along. Now he has developed a close bond with her, he displays as demi-romantic (still no sex going on).

Line's such as "I have not ruled it out", " before you I wasn't interested in being intimate with anyone" and, as you state above his jealousy towards Leonard and Stuart suggest to me that we are going to see a demisexual relationship (i.e. they will eventually have sex).

However, we can't count our chickens can we? I really, REALLY want to see (or more realistically, hear about) Shamy's sex life (my goodness I've written enough fan fic sex scenes for them) but there's a chance, always a chance, it won't happen. I'll be seriously miffed I tell you.

Look, for everyone posting Sheldon is not asexual, I ask a really simple question; name someone (apart from Amy) that Sheldon has ever shown a romantic or sexual interest in?

Now, these can be anyone, an actress off the TV perhaps, at work, perhaps someone who's shown a romantic interest in him maybe. Give me an example and perhaps I can be persuaded.

Good luck finding one (I'm not going to hold my breath).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.