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Ki22

Why Can't Sheldon And Amy Have An Asexual Relationship?

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I think the point here is that no one has ever said that Sheldon is actually asexual. He may or may not be. I believe his deal has always been open to interpretation. But no one can 100% claim him as one thing or another. That has nothing to do with people's personal feelings on asexuals, just what they perceive. I see a person who shut himself off to people for reasons such as emotional issues stemming from his childhood and his very real touch and germ phobias. When pressed on the issue by Penny, he mentioned these touch issues as his explaination. You and some others see it as a sexuality thing because he has never been shown to be attracted to anyone other than Amy. Neither of us are right or wrong because we've never been flat out told either way.

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How about Cat Woman? Julie Newmar being his favorite.

S2 E1 The Bad Fish Paradigm

While lying on Howard's bed....

S - That poster of Halle Berry's a little unnerving.

H - So don't look at it.

S - She's like my fourth favorite cat woman.

H - No kidding?

S - Yeah, Julie Newmar, Michelle Pfieffer, Eartha Kitt, and then her.

H - What about Lee Meriwether?

S - Oh, I forgot about Lee Meriwether.

Why would an asexual male have favorites among female actresses who play the same character?

And before anyone says "maybe he thinks they're good at acting the part." Then how come Halle Berry up above him while laying in bed is unnerving while he's trying to sleep?

Also, again, S2 E1.....way before Amy.

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Of course the germ and touch phobias play a part.

But they wouldn't play a part in knocking one out thinking about Wonder Woman would they?

He is portrayed as not having the need (asexuality is not a choice; abstinence / celibacy is a choice).

He believes this lack of need makes him superior to the others, he is not a slave to his baser urges as they all are. His beliefs are now being tested as he finds himself drawn to Amy.

I'm very much someone who'll base what I think on what I'm shown. I'm shown a character who displays as an asexual, so that's what I'll take them to be.

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How about Cat Woman? Julie Newmar being his favorite.

S2 E1 The Bad Fish Paradigm

While lying on Howard's bed....

S - That poster of Halle Berry's a little unnerving.

H - So don't look at it.

S - She's like my fourth favorite cat woman.

H - No kidding?

S - Yeah, Julie Newmar, Michelle Pfieffer, Eartha Kitt, and then her.

H - What about Lee Meriwether?

S - Oh, I forgot about Lee Meriwether.

Why would an asexual male have favorites among female actresses who play the same character?

And before anyone says "maybe he thinks they're good at acting the part." Then how come Halle Berry up above him while laying in bed is unnerving while he's trying to sleep?

Also, again, S2 E1.....way before Amy.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

How about Cat Woman? Julie Newmar being his favorite.

S2 E1 The Bad Fish Paradigm

While lying on Howard's bed....

S - That poster of Halle Berry's a little unnerving.

H - So don't look at it.

S - She's like my fourth favorite cat woman.

H - No kidding?

S - Yeah, Julie Newmar, Michelle Pfieffer, Eartha Kitt, and then her.

H - What about Lee Meriwether?

S - Oh, I forgot about Lee Meriwether.

Why would an asexual male have favorites among female actresses who play the same character?

And before anyone says "maybe he thinks they're good at acting the part." Then how come Halle Berry up above him while laying in bed is unnerving while he's trying to sleep?

Also, again, S2 E1.....way before Amy.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I don't have a favourite Catwoman myself.

However, my favourite Elizabeth Bennet is Jennifer Ehle, though Keira Knightly is better looking in my opinion. I assure you whole heartedly that I have never 'knocked one out' thinking of either of these actresses, but I do have a preference even though I'm sexually attracted to neither.

Are you honestly suggesting Sheldon 'fancies' these actresses? Really? REALLY?

How did you reach this conclusion, I'm genuinely interested, did I miss something?

Oh, and I would imagine "unnerving" in the same way his Darth Vader sheets are (unless he's got a thing for black PVC and asphyxiation we don't know about either).

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You asked in an earlier post to name someone apart from Amy that Sheldon has ever shown a romantic or sexual interest in and that scene on Howard's bed, naming his favorite cat women, was the first one that came to mind.

I'm just simply not convinced that he's asexual until the writers themselves state otherwise. However, I can believe that it's possible that he's Demisexual (yes, I know, it's a form or whatever of asexuality).

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I imagine Sheldon has most things neatly labeled and listed in order of preference in his mind.

Favourite physicists, favourite Dr Who's, favourite puddings....don't mean he wants to shag them does it? Best to avoid watching American Pie if this is not the case.

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I imagine Sheldon has most things neatly labeled and listed in order of preference in his mind.

Favourite physicists, favourite Dr Who's, favourite puddings....don't mean he wants to shag them does it? Best to avoid watching American Pie if this is not the case.

Already scene American Pie (and the sequels) and chocolate is his favorite pudding.

But regardless, we see his sexuality differently. If you had asked me in seasons 1-3 and even the very beginning of 4, yes, I would've said he's asexual but not what I've seen so far up to the Xmas episode.

Maybe he's Demisexual. It's not unbelievable at all. But flat out asexual? With EVERYTHING we've seen regarding Amy? No.

I do agree with you about one thing though...it does suck writing all this out on your phone but I can't seem to get on this site with my laptop (for some reason it doesn't accept my password but it will on my phone).

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Already scene American Pie (and the sequels) and chocolate is his favorite pudding.

But regardless, we see his sexuality differently. If you had asked me in seasons 1-3 and even the very beginning of 4, yes, I would've said he's asexual but not what I've seen so far up to the Xmas episode.

Maybe he's Demisexual. It's not unbelievable at all. But flat out asexual? With EVERYTHING we've seen regarding Amy? No.

I do agree with you about one thing though...it does suck writing all this out on your phone but I can't seem to get on this site with my laptop (for some reason it doesn't accept my password but it will on my phone).

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But that's my point. People do not change their sexual orientation, you don't get to choose, it's inherant.

So, if he has displayed as asexual (which he has) then the only logical explanation is that he is in fact Demisexual.

However, until he actually shows sexual interest, he is demi-romantic. So far, all he's done is run from his attraction, and he obviously IS attracted, I know I keep banging on about the train kiss but even what he says leads to the same conclusion. Someone as blunt as Sheldon would say outright if there was no chance of any sexual relations and he has done the very opposite, his "I haven't ruled it out" his "I'm working on it" all point to his issues with touch and germ phobia, not that he doesn't feel attracted to her.

As for the phone thing, my laptop's bugged up to the hilt (thanks kids) and I've just written an entire Xmas one-shot on this feckin' thing! Poor Madamocho's got the awful job of translating it into some form of readable English (bless her).

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But that's my point. People do not change their sexual orientation, you don't get to choose, it's inherant.

So, if he has displayed as asexual (which he has) then the only logical explanation is that he is in fact Demisexual.

However, until he actually shows sexual interest, he is demi-romantic. So far, all he's done is run from his attraction, and he obviously IS attracted, I know I keep banging on about the train kiss but even what he says leads to the same conclusion. Someone as blunt as Sheldon would say outright if there was no chance of any sexual relations and he has done the very opposite, his "I haven't ruled it out" his "I'm working on it" all point to his issues with touch and germ phobia, not that he doesn't feel attracted to her.

As for the phone thing, my laptop's bugged up to the hilt (thanks kids) and I've just written an entire Xmas one-shot on this feckin' thing! Poor Madamocho's got the awful job of translating it into some form of readable English (bless her).

I didn't mean to imply that he's "changing" his sexual orientation. I just think that the only way we will ever know for sure is if/when the writers clarify since we can't possibly ask Sheldon himself since he's a fictional character (or we ask the writers since they are, in a sense, the characters they created). But if it does turn out he's Demisexual then yes, he was that all along but we didn't see it until Amy showed up. Sorry if I didn't make myself clear. I'm trying to get over a massive head/chest cold and my head is currently floating in the clouds of mucus.

As for your last paragraph, LMAO!! Yeah, my kids are the same! I have so many games (and God knows what kind of bugs) on my laptop that are not even mine!! Thank god I can still write and download on ff.

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Y'know I've said before that tptb have far better researchers at their disposal than me tapping away at this s0dding thing while I wait for my kids to finish their various after-school clubs.

Sheldon's their golden goose. If they're going to put him in a relationship then they'll do their research so viewers can't cry foul.

I think that this is what Amy's frumpiness is all about, the secondary sexual attraction of Demisexuality.

I know a lot of viewers long for Amy to have a makeover and perhaps one day tptb will do it. If it ever happens, my prediction will be that Sheldon won't like it.

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Stop the press!

Sheldon has menophilia (attracted to her period). Ew!

Yes, I think he's sexually attracted to her too, I've given enough examples (that bl00dy train again, ooooh, bl00dy, geddit?).

What did he say Chiany, I can't remember?

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I think that whether Sheldon is asexual or not is something only the writers could answer and I am not sure even if they agree with each other. I could buy it any minute that half the writers consider him asexual and the other half don't.

But the original question wasn't whether Sheldon is asexual or not. The question was why can't Sheldon and Amy have an asexual relationship. I am not sure so excuse me if I am wrong but with the term "asexual relationship" we mean a relationship with no sex right?? The OP could help with that. So, supposing that's what it means my personal answer would be that plot wise they could. Sheldon, although seems like he is working towards that way, could very well never get ready and decide he won't do it and in the prom episode it was established that Amy wouldn't leave him over that. Now if we are talking about the reasons that lead the writers to alter the "Sheldon is attracted to no one" we all suspected to "Sheldon is attracted to Amy" then what I think is that the thing the writers want to explore on the Shamy relationship is the physical aspect. Maybe because it's the aspect they are less familiar with. Just like Lenny and commitment. Anyway I think it will happen between them and I feel it was very well presented and quite smoothly. I personally believe that Sheldon was depicted as asexual (tho never labelled) and that demisexuality is probably his thing. Also, I don't doubt that he is attracted to Amy.

So, bottom line personally I would be perfectly ok if Shamy never had sex cause I love the intimacy they already have, their quirks and their communication but I also think it would be very interesting to watch those two navigate through something like that. I also believe that the majority see it the same way but I cannot speak fot others so that's just an assumption.

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Agree Cecilia.

Though I want it to happen, it's no deal breaker for me (of course I'll be disappointed though).

I watch the show because it's funny. I ship Shamy because they're funny. I reckon that sex between them will be hilarious. If they are still funny without sex, then that's good too.

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Asexuals on one part of the spectrum "do have sex", Not because they need, desire, or have any interest in it.  It is for the simple case that the person they are with is not an asexual. That person has that need... and the asexual LOVEs them and wants to be with them.  Asexuals can have sex...we have the equipment and it is "fully functional".

We are not unable....we have a working nervous system.  We again....don't have need, desire, or interest in that kind of relationship.   I am to understand that those people need to communicate more.  But those couples do exist.   (not out of the realm of Sheldon and Amy) and it does include your much needed sex.  I don't know if this helps you understand my point or not.

ki

Helps?

Questions?

p.s. I think "Amy" has been written as Hedro-Latent...I don't think "Sheldon" has.

p.p.s.  He has favorite "Hulks" and "Spocks".

ki

Edited by Ki22

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What's Hedro-latent? Is it exactly what it sounds like, latent heterosexuality? Not encountered this on my travels. Nor the term Hedro. Is it same as Hetero or different?

Just wanted to add, in case anyone was wondering, secondary sexual attraction is also experienced by all sexual orientations (including Demisexual), as well as primary desire and secondary desire.

Ki, I believe in the quoted post above you are talking about asexuals who engage in sexual intercourse due to secondary desire. Talking about the fictional character Sheldon, this is where we (respectfully) differ. I believe him to be Demisexual and therefore capable of secondary attraction and primary desire, not just secondary desire as per your example quoted.

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I think that whether Sheldon is asexual or not is something only the writers could answer and I am not sure even if they agree with each other. I could buy it any minute that half the writers consider him asexual and the other half don't.

But the original question wasn't whether Sheldon is asexual or not. The question was why can't Sheldon and Amy have an asexual relationship. I am not sure so excuse me if I am wrong but with the term "asexual relationship" we mean a relationship with no sex right?? The OP could help with that. So, supposing that's what it means my personal answer would be that plot wise they could. Sheldon, although seems like he is working towards that way, could very well never get ready and decide he won't do it and in the prom episode it was established that Amy wouldn't leave him over that. Now if we are talking about the reasons that lead the writers to alter the "Sheldon is attracted to no one" we all suspected to "Sheldon is attracted to Amy" then what I think is that the thing the writers want to explore on the Shamy relationship is the physical aspect. Maybe because it's the aspect they are less familiar with. Just like Lenny and commitment. Anyway I think it will happen between them and I feel it was very well presented and quite smoothly. I personally believe that Sheldon was depicted as asexual (tho never labelled) and that demisexuality is probably his thing. Also, I don't doubt that he is attracted to Amy.

So, bottom line personally I would be perfectly ok if Shamy never had sex cause I love the intimacy they already have, their quirks and their communication but I also think it would be very interesting to watch those two navigate through something like that. I also believe that the majority see it the same way but I cannot speak fot others so that's just an assumption.

Nope...see above.

Yes, of course He is interested with Her...He would not waste that amount of time if He was not interested.  I am not saying that they do not love each other.

They do LOVE each other and want to be with each other.  Sex is different from love.  The two are not mutually inclusive.  You can love and have sex as an expression of that...yes?  You can have sex without love...yes? 

The Asexual to Sexual relationship is complex and needs communication... to an extreme.  It is not out of the realm of relationships....happens many times.

Go To AVEN.net  read what people have talked about. 

ok?

ki

What's Hedro-latent? Is it exactly what it sounds like, latent heterosexuality? Not encountered this on my travels. Nor the term Hedro. Is it same as Hetero or different?

Just wanted to add, in case anyone was wondering, secondary sexual attraction is also experienced by all sexual orientations (including Demisexual), as well as primary desire and secondary desire.

Ki, I believe in the quoted post above you are talking about asexuals who engage in sexual intercourse due to secondary desire. Talking about the fictional character Sheldon, this is where we (respectfully) differ. I believe him to be Demisexual and therefore capable of secondary attraction and primary desire, not just secondary desire as per your example quoted.

Sorry, have always spelled it wrong.  Again, I am a neutral and I don't know the differences.  Hetero-latent would be someone who is heterosexual but has never had a close relationship before.  I Understand your view.  I just don't know it as well.

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I kinda have to disagree with some of that.  There are also Asexuals who are in relationships with other Asexuals...even get Married.

Neither one is there for the sexual...still the relationship exists... it is. It has nothing to do with sex.   That does go off topic though...needs to be said, however.

An Asexual (neutral) can be in love.  I do not know "demi" as well...I am not.  I will read more and come back.

ki

Edited by Ki22

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I kinda have to disagree with some of that.  There are also Asexuals who are in relationships with other Asexuals...even get Married.

Neither one is there for the sexual...still the relationship exists... it is. It has nothing to do with sex.   That does go off topic though...needs to be said, however.

An Asexual (neutral) can be in love.  I do not know "demi" as well...I am not.  I will read more and come back.

ki

Oh, love and sex, great when combined, but neither is reliant on the other. Those who would identify with nonlibidoism (I believe what were known previously as type D asexuals within the AVEN community) of course would have no need for sex in a marriage. Does the term you use 'neutral' mean the same thing?

No, as you can have sex without love, the exact opposite is also true. In fact non-asexual marriages survive periods of celibacy if one or both partners lose their sex drive, especially in old age, the love doesn't have to diminish with the loss of libido.

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Nope...see above.

Yes, of course He is interested with Her...He would not waste that amount of time if He was not interested. I am not saying that they do not love each other.

They do LOVE each other and want to be with each other. Sex is different from love. The two are not mutually inclusive. You can love and have sex as an expression of that...yes? You can have sex without love...yes?

The Asexual to Sexual relationship is complex and needs communication... to an extreme. It is not out of the realm of relationships....happens many times.

Go To AVEN.net read what people have talked about.

ok?

ki

.

When you say nope I suppose you talk about whether an asexual relationship is a relationship with no sex. Reading your above post I understand that with your OP you mean why Sheldon needs to want sex rather than do it cause Amy isn't asexual. I maintain to my belief that plot wise it could happen. I am not sure if a person with Sheldon's personality would do it tho. Sheldon usually doesn't do what he doesn't want to do and even if he loves her it's his right to finally not put himself in a situation he doesn't really want to.

As for the rest of your post. When did I say that you implied that they do not love each other?? When did I say that love and sex is the same thing?? What I asked was whether the term "asexual relationship" meant a relationship that one or two people are asexual or if it's a relationship with no sex. I didn't involve love to that I just wanted to know your definition. I already knew that love and sex are two different things. Also I think that you can be sexual and be in love with an asexual and never have sex cause you love them too much. But I don't see how that is related to my post.

And no thanks I don't want to go to AVEN and read any comments. Also I am sorry about that but I feel a condescesion in your tone. I don't know if you are a native speaker and I am certainly not so that could be it but I feel that especially with that post of yours and figured I should let you know. I am not accusing you I am just mentioning it so that you'd know how I feel if you're interested.

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Here's something I found interesting but I don't know how reliable it is. It's from Entertainment Weekly by Michael Ausiello dated Jan. 2010. Sorry, don't know how to copy & paste from phone.

When talking about a possible hook-up between Sheldon & Penny, Chuck Lorre shot it down (thank God) by saying the following:

"Part of what's wonderful & unique about Sheldon is he has CHOSEN not to play in the relationship game either way, heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, any sexuality. He has said, 'This is not for me. I'm a scientist. All I'm interested in is science and what George Lucas thinks.' We've stumbled into creating a character who has CHOSEN a lifestyle for himself that is unique. And I don't see any reason to modify it."

Added Prady: "Sheldon has made a CHOICE that work and all of that is where he finds his passion."

If this article is true and accurate then I think we have our answer. Before Amy, he CHOSE to not enter into any romantic relationship and now that he has Amy, I think we can safely say he's heterosexual and has been the whole time.

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But that's my point. People do not change their sexual orientation, you don't get to choose, it's inherant.

So, if he has displayed as asexual (which he has) then the only logical explanation is that he is in fact Demisexual.

However, until he actually shows sexual interest, he is demi-romantic. So far, all he's done is run from his attraction, and he obviously IS attracted, I know I keep banging on about the train kiss but even what he says leads to the same conclusion. Someone as blunt as Sheldon would say outright if there was no chance of any sexual relations and he has done the very opposite, his "I haven't ruled it out" his "I'm working on it" all point to his issues with touch and germ phobia, not that he doesn't feel attracted to her.

As for the phone thing, my laptop's bugged up to the hilt (thanks kids) and I've just written an entire Xmas one-shot on this feckin' thing! Poor Madamocho's got the awful job of translating it into some form of readable English (bless her).

 

I worked late, so sorry this reply is late.

 

I really just wanted to comment on your thoughts that people don't change their sexual orientation.  I agree.  However, sexuality is not so simplistic, black and white.  I feel like specific orientations are overarching labels.  But there is no one way to be heterosexual, homosexual, asexual, etc.  I find sexuality to be on a spectrum.  At the end of the day, if someone asked, I would tell them that I am straight.  However, my straight can be different from someone else's straight and so on.  I think it is short sighted to be so rigid when it comes to sexuality.  We all have ideas as to what Sheldon's deal may be, but there honestly isn't enough information to say he is one thing over another, especially since what information we do have points to a couple of different explanations.

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Here's something I found interesting but I don't know how reliable it is. It's from Entertainment Weekly by Michael Ausiello dated Jan. 2010. Sorry, don't know how to copy & paste from phone.

When talking about a possible hook-up between Sheldon & Penny, Chuck Lorre shot it down (thank God) by saying the following:

"Part of what's wonderful & unique about Sheldon is he has CHOSEN not to play in the relationship game either way, heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, any sexuality. He has said, 'This is not for me. I'm a scientist. All I'm interested in is science and what George Lucas thinks.' We've stumbled into creating a character who has CHOSEN a lifestyle for himself that is unique. And I don't see any reason to modify it."

Added Prady: "Sheldon has made a CHOICE that work and all of that is where he finds his passion."

If this article is true and accurate then I think we have our answer. Before Amy, he CHOSE to not enter into any romantic relationship and now that he has Amy, I think we can safely say he's heterosexual and has been the whole time.

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Well, if that's what they say, then that's what he is, he is their creation after all.

However, like Nickelette424 said, how do you know he's not in fact bisexual (what with the fluidity of sexuality et al)?

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Sheldon is sexually attracted to her, period. He has said it on the show.

He said he LOVED her.

ki

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I think that whether Sheldon is asexual or not is something only the writers could answer and I am not sure even if they agree with each other. I could buy it any minute that half the writers consider him asexual and the other half don't.

But the original question wasn't whether Sheldon is asexual or not. The question was why can't Sheldon and Amy have an asexual relationship. I am not sure so excuse me if I am wrong but with the term "asexual relationship" we mean a relationship with no sex right?? The OP could help with that. So, supposing that's what it means my personal answer would be that plot wise they could. Sheldon, although seems like he is working towards that way, could very well never get ready and decide he won't do it and in the prom episode it was established that Amy wouldn't leave him over that. Now if we are talking about the reasons that lead the writers to alter the "Sheldon is attracted to no one" we all suspected to "Sheldon is attracted to Amy" then what I think is that the thing the writers want to explore on the Shamy relationship is the physical aspect. Maybe because it's the aspect they are less familiar with. Just like Lenny and commitment. Anyway I think it will happen between them and I feel it was very well presented and quite smoothly. I personally believe that Sheldon was depicted as asexual (tho never labelled) and that demisexuality is probably his thing. Also, I don't doubt that he is attracted to Amy.

can i write something?

So, bottom line personally I would be perfectly ok if Shamy never had sex cause I love the intimacy they already have, their quirks and their communication but I also think it would be very interesting to watch those two navigate through something like that. I also believe that the majority see it the same way but I cannot speak fot others so that's just an assumption.

Thank you for what you have said...many people do not get love without a physical aspect...they have done that for years (Sheldon and Amy).  Sheldon has become more comfortable with Touching since Amy...and kissing  (of all things)...They have changed the relationship...that does not not change the "Character premise).  They are who the are "written".  But, I have complete faith that the writers will keep it true.   I don't know if they know about "asexual" or did not think of that for Sheldon...but, I also hope that they don't change the relationship too drastically...make it just for the time they have sex.   The RELATIONSHIP is the important part...not the pressure from the audience for them to "get it over with" and be a "Normal Couple".

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