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Ki22

Why Can't Sheldon And Amy Have An Asexual Relationship?

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We already have here on the forum. Anyone can post their arguments anyway, and anytime they want, subject to the linked rules. I'm sorry you don't get to set additional rules.

 

Thank you for this. I was this close to firing off one of my patented "just who exactly do you think you are?" posts (only with many more "colorful metaphors") that inevitably get me into hot water and earn me a rap on the knuckles from moderator-type-persons. :biggrin:

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While people are certainly free to discuss whatever topics they want, ad infinitum, I think that in this case the operative phrase is:

 

Asked and Answered.

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Ok..ok...nevermind....geeesh.

just trying for order....but ...ok...my BAD.

rewrite.....

Will respond whenever...

ki

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Is there really a need to go back and rehash the points of a discussion that have already been discussed.

 

You have a point of view or perspective and others have laid out their responses to your assertions.

 

Isn't that the end of the story?

 

I think your initial question has been answered several times.  Whether or not one sees the characters as Asexual, Demi-sexual, etc., is essentially beside the point.

The point is that the writers have never labeled him with any particular sexual label but have indeed made his relationship with Amy to be headed for some level of sexual involvement.

If that means that he falls into the "demi-sexual" category or whatever, so be it.  But since they have chosen not to label him and have chosen to make his relationship with Amy sexual, then it seems clear to me that they don't want him to be an asexual person, or certainly don't want to label him as such.

 

I don't think they're concerned with the finer points of all the variations of what an asexual person can or cannot be.  Just as they're not interested in labeling him as Autistic, even if some may recognize certain elements in his behavior and thinking.

 

In the end, I don't think the writers have betrayed any one group as they have evolved his character because they never set out to have him represent any one group when they conceived the character.

 

Why can't that be the end of the question?

I was told that I ignored "reasons" put forth in previous posts. 

The "reasons" I read were not legitimate "reasons" against an asexual relationship.

I was just trying to address the posts I was told I ignored.

I do not need to go back.  So I wont.

What is a "reason" other than the Writers...( you don't know their minds or the future of the story anymore than I do).

What in the story points to "not an asexual relationship"

By the way... both people do not have to be asexual for it to be an asexual relationship.

Asexual people, simply put...the need, desire, and interest in sexual relationships with other people is on the lowest (if existent at all) point of the relationship totempole.

 

ki

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I was told that I ignored "reasons" put forth in previous posts. 

The "reasons" I read were not legitimate "reasons" against an asexual relationship.

I was just trying to address the posts I was told I ignored.

I do not need to go back.  So I wont.

What is a "reason" other than the Writers...( you don't know their minds or the future of the story anymore than I do).

What in the story points to "not an asexual relationship"

By the way... both people do not have to be asexual for it to be an asexual relationship.

Asexual people, simply put...the need, desire, and interest in sexual relationships with other people is on the lowest (if existent at all) point of the relationship totempole.

 

ki

 

Well, I don't think you have all the answers as to what kind of sexuality Sheldon may have, but the point is that the writers have chosen to take a different path than the one you seem to have thought they might be taking.

 

I think that the writers (and Jim and Mayim) have suggested that Sheldon and Amy will get there at some point.  And again, whether Sheldon's responses may seem to fall within the definition of Asexual or Demi-sexual, you seem to feel that they've changed Sheldon due to popular pressure when you have no proof of that whatsoever, since the writers never labeled him one way or the other.  At least, that seemed to be the thrust of your initial assertions.

 

So, again, you asked a question and many people gave their responses.  Whether or not you liked the responses, whether or not anyone may have as specific a knowledge of the definition of asexuality, etc., as you have, the real, true answer to the first question has been answered and that is, that the writers don't seem to be wanting to have it be an asexual relationship, at least, not as specifically or clearly as you seem to want it to be.

 

Sheldon doesn't have to be a representative character for any group out there, whether it's asexuals, child prodigies, physicists, people on the autism spectrum.  And since he isn't such a representative, the writers can and will tell his story as they choose to, drawing on their own experiences, exaggerating Sheldon'd characteristics as they suit the story being told.

 

But whether or not you feel that Sheldon's love story falls into some category that you want to assign to it, the writers are telling whatever story they want to tell.  If you think they've changed him, then perhaps you had a different idea of who he really has been all along.

 

I think that because the writers have not concerned themselves with labels or categories, they are free to have his character unfold however they want.

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Should Sheldon and Amy have an Asexual relationship? IMO? NO. What else is their to be said. It doesen't look like the writers want to tell that kind of story. So until it happens, its just pure speculation. Maybe you should create a poll lol. 

Edited by 3ku11

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Well, I don't think you have all the answers as to what kind of sexuality Sheldon may have, but the point is that the writers have chosen to take a different path than the one you seem to have thought they might be taking.

 

I think that the writers (and Jim and Mayim) have suggested that Sheldon and Amy will get there at some point.  And again, whether Sheldon's responses may seem to fall within the definition of Asexual or Demi-sexual, you seem to feel that they've changed Sheldon due to popular pressure when you have no proof of that whatsoever, since the writers never labeled him one way or the other.  At least, that seemed to be the thrust of your initial assertions.

 

So, again, you asked a question and many people gave their responses.  Whether or not you liked the responses, whether or not anyone may have as specific a knowledge of the definition of asexuality, etc., as you have, the real, true answer to the first question has been answered and that is, that the writers don't seem to be wanting to have it be an asexual relationship, at least, not as specifically or clearly as you seem to want it to be.

 

Sheldon doesn't have to be a representative character for any group out there, whether it's asexuals, child prodigies, physicists, people on the autism spectrum.  And since he isn't such a representative, the writers can and will tell his story as they choose to, drawing on their own experiences, exaggerating Sheldon'd characteristics as they suit the story being told.

 

But whether or not you feel that Sheldon's love story falls into some category that you want to assign to it, the writers are telling whatever story they want to tell.  If you think they've changed him, then perhaps you had a different idea of who he really has been all along.

 

I think that because the writers have not concerned themselves with labels or categories, they are free to have his character unfold however they want.

No, they have not changed "Sheldon"....I said that they have changed "Amy" from the beginning of "Amy".   That is done.

I said that they will most likely change the relationship to something more recognizable.

"Sheldon" has stayed very much the same but with new experience.  Yes the first kiss was new and interesting and with someone He Loves...that is different.

But He is STILL "Sheldon".

He is never going to be on the same physical need as Amy.

"Sheldon" has told "Leonard" that he has a much more satisfying relationship....even though they do not have sex.  "Sheldon" thinks that he has the better relationship....if something was missing "He" wouldn't.

Why is this so harmful?  It does not hurt the story line, plot, characters.

They could have that kind of relationship.

Also, the story is not over...you do not know the writers and the way they will go with the plot any more than I do.....Unless you do?

I love this show however it goes!

I was posing a possibility....that really angered people for some reason.

I am sorry if my "possibility" upset you.....just talk.

Edited by Ki22

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Wow! SMDH!! I already explained why Amy "changed" in post #185. Read it again. The writers explained it during a comic con panel (I'd have to look it up again).

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Amy never had anything to do with asexuality, writers explained her "change" in Comic Con, Paley fest and in The Rothman Disintegration - Amy: "I'll let you in on a little secret. Originally, we were painted nude. But I had him add clothes cause I thought it was an unnecessary challenge to our heterosexuality."

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Amy never had anything to do with asexuality, writers explained her "change" in Comic Con, Paley fest and in The Rothman Disintegration - Amy: "I'll let you in on a little secret. Originally, we were painted nude. But I had him add clothes cause I thought it was an unnecessary challenge to our heterosexuality."

Yeah that was it! Paleyfest 2013! The writers and CREATORS of these characters said (in a nutshell) Amy always wanted this social experience but never got it. She got teased & shunned instead. After awhile, she more or less gave up and only agreed to date once a year so she could use her moms George Forman grill. She was set to live a lonely life until she died until she met Sheldon and then his friends. Now she has a boyfriend and a social life.

Sheldon on the other hand, didn't give a shit about a social life and friends.

I don't know how to cut that clip out and post it but I hope someone else can.

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No, they have not changed "Sheldon"....I said that they have changed "Amy" from the beginning of "Amy".   That is done.

I said that they will most likely change the relationship to something more recognizable.

"Sheldon" has stayed very much the same but with new experience.  Yes the first kiss was new and interesting and with someone He Loves...that is different.

But He is STILL "Sheldon".

He is never going to be on the same physical need as Amy.

"Sheldon" has told "Leonard" that he has a much more satisfying relationship....even though they do not have sex.  "Sheldon" thinks that he has the better relationship....if something was missing "He" wouldn't.

Why is this so harmful?  It does not hurt the story line, plot, characters.

They could have that kind of relationship.

Also, the story is not over...you do not know the writers and the way they will go with the plot any more than I do.....Unless you do?

I love this show however it goes!

I was posing a possibility....that really angered people for some reason.

I am sorry if my "possibility" upset you.....just talk.

Why do you keep adding "quotes" to random "words"?

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Yeah that was it! Paleyfest 2013! The writers and CREATORS of these characters said (in a nutshell) Amy always wanted this social experience but never got it. She got teased & shunned instead. After awhile, she more or less gave up and only agreed to date once a year so she could use her moms George Forman grill. She was set to live a lonely life until she died until she met Sheldon and then his friends. Now she has a boyfriend and a social life.

Sheldon on the other hand, didn't give a shit about a social life and friends.

I don't know how to cut that clip out and post it but I hope someone else can.

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here it is - starting around 2:20 ... it's in nutshell, but it gives basic understanding her character, and reason of her change.

also this article can provide understanding Sheldon's sexuality from writers POV (if it was quoted before, my apologizes...)

 http://insidetv.ew.com/2010/02/09/big-bang-theory-sheldon-gay/

Edited by tallin

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I think it is pretty clear, that Amy is definitely not asexual.

Agreed. I don't understand how this argument is still going on....

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I also agreed that Amy is not asexual now.

I also said they did not change Sheldon.

You are not reading what I have said.

You think the miscommunication is just on me?

look in the thread.

it is on all of us....we disagree.

That is it. and we do not listen to each other.

but ok HOT topic....

Just not.

Sorry this is a dead thread....I will still argue. This will go nowhere.

It is a non discussion.

go look at other things.

ki

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I also agreed that Amy is not asexual now.

ki

A person's sexuality cannot change. So if she isn't an asexual now, she was never one before.

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Their was also speculation in Season 4 she was Lesbian. Based on her sexual advances and interests in Penny. Which clearly were not going to go any where. You say "We cannot change". Yet you say Amy is NOT Asexual NOW. Like Tensor said sexuality is a constant. It is a biological and chromological makeup. You are born with it. Amy was NEVER  Asexual. She could have been. But the writers never suggested as such. She found Penny attractive. She even found Zac attractive. When Sheldon held her hand she felt nothing lol. So go figure. 

Edited by 3ku11
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I also agreed that Amy is not asexual now.I also said they did not change Sheldon.You are not reading what I have said.You think the miscommunication is just on me?look in the thread.it is on all of us....we disagree.That is it. and we do not listen to each other.but ok HOT topic....Just not.Sorry this is a dead thread....I will still argue. This will go nowhere.It is a non discussion.go look at other things.ki

I think that you have made assumptions about the characters and writers based on your point of view and your desires for what you want the show to depict when it comes to Sheldon and his sexual perspective.

I agree that the topic is dead because the original question has already been answered. You simply kept pretending that you were asking a different question. Or that your question is somehow unanswerable (because you claim that no one can know what the writers have planned.). In some ways that sounds a lot like the way Shenny fans used to say that anything could happen and that in any upcoming episode, Sheldon and Penny could break up with their current mates and go for each other, because no one could say what the writers would do next.

What I think is that there are certain things that are very strongly implied and that one can indeed therefore extrapolate where the writers are going, even if we can't know the precise details.

I think that the writers are indeed heading toward Sheldon and Amy having a sexual relationship, even if it isn't until the very end of the show. And I think it's also clear that they have never labeled Sheldon (or Amy) with any labels in regard to their sexuality.

If it makes you feel better to think of Sheldon as asexual or demisexual, that's fine, but don't try to ascribe those labels to what the writers have conceived.

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OK....The first three years the "Sheldon" Character was Hedonistic....A**.  The first three years there could have been an argument!  When He met Amy he became interested in a relationship.  He called it a BOY/GIRL for a long time.   He became attached to that relationship because of AMY.   He had no choice but to create the relationship agreement or lose that attachment.   He became in LOVE with Amy....and to keep her...he had to give to get.    It is still going on to this date....and Amy realizes how hard this is for him and is taking it slower than a normal couple would.  This has been the way with non-sexuals all over the world...this is normal compromise.   None of the arguments before negate the "Sheldon" character from being a non-sexual.  Non-sexuals are not sociopaths......they can fall in love and live very happily with sexuals...as long as the communication is there and there is NOT a one sided relationship.   They need to talk and express what the need and what they also have a hard time with....both sides!

I do not think this is an all or nothing discussion.

ki

Edited by Ki22
Forgot to put that very important part in...: (

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On 1/10/2015 at 5:45 PM, 3ku11 said:

Their was also speculation in Season 4 she was Lesbian. Based on her sexual advances and interests in Penny. Which clearly were not going to go any where. You say "We cannot change". Yet you say Amy is NOT Asexual NOW. Like Tensor said sexuality is a constant. It is a biological and chromological makeup. You are born with it. Amy was NEVER  Asexual. She could have been. But the writers never suggested as such. She found Penny attractive. She even found Zac attractive. When Sheldon held her hand she felt nothing lol. So go figure. 

Amy can be "whatever" she is.....She is not Asex as I said from what writers have wrote.  Sheldon could still be...there is nothing "wrong" with that...maybe challenging...but not wrong or weird.  And He can still LOVE AMY!   I feel like i am talking to a brick wall sometimes....

If you have any questions about us non-sexuals....please ask.

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Because Amy's

9 hours ago, Ki22 said:

Amy can be "whatever" she is.....She is not Asex as I said from what writers have wrote.  Sheldon could still be...there is nothing "wrong" with that...maybe challenging...but not wrong or weird.  And He can still LOVE AMY!   I feel like i am talking to a brick wall sometimes....

If you have any questions about us non-sexuals....please ask.

Of course Sheldon being asexual is not a problem. And he can still love Amy.

The problem is whether Amy knows that. Because Amy's clearly not asexual and she wants a normal sex life. Now if there's an episode, where the two just talk everything out, where Sheldon tells Amy about his sexuality and Amy decides she can live with her boyfrind never having desires towards her, great. Or they don't even need to talk it out. The writers can simply show us that Amy comes to understand Sheldon's sexuality by herself. After that she can either accept that about him and stops whining about their lack of intimacy, or she decides she can't accept that and they break up for good.

But the show did none of those things. It just keeps avoiding dealing with the problem and keeps making jokes about Amy's desires. Amy's in desperate need of physical intimacy in almost every episode, which indicates that she still doesn't know about Sheldon's sexuality. Amy needs to know. More importantly, the writers need to show us that Amy knows. She deserves to know. She deserves to have a choice. Because with the current storyline, the writers are basically telling us either Amy's too stupid to notice Sheldon has no interests in her physically, or Amy doesn't respect Sheldon, that even though she knows about his sexuality, she still pushes him. And both are unacceptable. Amy deserves to be portroyed as someone other than stupid and pathetic.

Let me put it this way. The writers need to address Sheldon and Amy's sex problem directly. Whether they're both asexual, or Sheldon's asexual and Amy's not or they're both not asexual, it doesn't matter. What matters is for them to be on the same page and to make decisions together.

Edited by camelliayao
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I think this is a question of what specific people want out of specific characters.

Just like some people want the guys to be more nerdy, or more science-y, or more romantic, or more "manly" or whatever.

People want to claim a character to represent what they want to see.

The problem is that it's the writers who are deciding what story they're telling, and that includes how or when or to what degree any of the characters grow or change or mature or whatever.

If they had intended, for instance, to have Sheldon be truly autistic, or asexual, or any other label or representation of a segment of the population, then they would have made that decision early on, I think.

However, that would have severely limited the kinds of stories they could tell, as well as limited how they could represent his character to the wider audience.  Certain things, including certain kinds of jokes, would have been off-limits, for instance, and that would have limited whatever they might have wanted to do.  As it is, they can push his boundaries, and let him bounce back inside his boundaries, without violating some kind of label.

It doesn't really matter, in a way, how he and Amy deal with their relationship.  He has clearly come to some emotional conclusions about his feelings for her, and some physical conclusions as well.  I think the writers have done a pretty good job of showing how he has progressed along those lines.

Not in a fast, straight downhill slide toward something extreme, but in his own 2-steps-forward, 1-step-back kind of way.  In the end, I don't think that either he or Amy is truly doing each other any great disservice just because their relationship isn't quite what some of us imagine it should be, on either end of the emotional or physical spectrum.

And I don't think that Sheldon and Amy actually have a "sex problem", just because they aren't jumping into bed the way the other couples (or popular culture seems to indicate) have done.

Not everyone has sex after 3 dates, or before marriage or for all the same or different reasons.  Doesn't mean either of them is or should be portrayed as asexual, or that one of them is truly "suffering".

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I think it's basically everyone has their opinion.  It doesn't matter how the writers write it, or what other posters may think.  A viewer will see what is on the screen and interpret that though their own bias, their own experiences, and that is perfectly fine.  No one viewer's  interpretation of what is shown is any better than any other viewers interpretation.

Some see Sheldon as asexual, some see him as a sexual being, some see him in between.  There are arguments for all of them, it  just depends on how any individual see's them.   All people will claim the character means what they want it to represent.

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Sheldon was never portrayed as an asexual. Plus, sex sells.

But I understand that asexuals, as a group of people shunned by society, are frustrated because they thought they were finally represented on TV, and in the most popular TV show at that.

Edited by Judith

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On ‎5‎/‎7‎/‎2016 at 1:22 PM, Tensor said:

I think it's basically everyone has their opinion.  It doesn't matter how the writers write it, or what other posters may think.  A viewer will see what is on the screen and interpret that though their own bias, their own experiences, and that is perfectly fine.  No one viewer's  interpretation of what is shown is any better than any other viewers interpretation.

Some see Sheldon as asexual, some see him as a sexual being, some see him in between.  There are arguments for all of them, it  just depends on how any individual see's them.   All people will claim the character means what they want it to represent.

They may want or choose to see what they will, but that doesn't mean that the writers are somehow obligated, or "should" portray a certain character in a certain way in order to "represent" anyone.

If it's not the writers' choice to do so, then they're not going to try to do so, and the question of why the character isn't this way or that way is essentially moot.

Some people wanted JK Rowling to put Harry together with Hermione, rather that Ron and Hermione.  That wasn't the story Rowling was telling, so it didn't happen that way.

Whether or not one likes the story, the writer is the one who gets to tell it.

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