Jump to content

Best Jokes You Know


Recommended Posts

  • Replies 555
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Posts

Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection, except one. He's never gonna give you Up. I hate Russian dolls. They're so full of themselves. It’s hard to explain puns to kle

I don't have a joke in particular, but funniest thing I heard was from  one of my kids in kindergarten. I told kids to draw picture of their family and when I saw one girl drew her father with big gre

I was going to tell a feminist joke but my husband wouldn't let me.

Posted Images

They've just released the sequel to La-La Land.

It's called Po-Land.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The following movie contains scenes of a cup of tea.

It's rated PG.

Edited by Stephen Hawking
  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A woman walks into a bus with her boy and the bus driver asks "what's that for an ugly bird?". Than the woman walks further and an old man asks her why she is so sad. The woman answers "the bus driver annoyed me." old men: then go back to the bus driver, in the meantime i hold your ape. "

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

IN RESPONSE TO ALL RECENT E-MAILS ABOUT OUR DOG​:

PLEASE BE ADVISED, WE ARE SICK AND TIRED OF ANSWERING QUESTIONS ABOUT HIM.

YES, HE BIT TWO PEOPLE WEARING BURKAS,

TWELVE PEOPLE WEARING LIVERPOOL FOOTBALL T-SHIRTS,

TWO CAR DRIVERS WITH DRAKE BLARING FROM THEIR VEHICLES,

FOUR JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES,

TWO MORMONS,

SIX TEENAGERS,

TWO TRAFFIC WARDENS,

SEVEN POLICE MAN,

BUT, FOR THE LAST TIME. . .

THIS DOG IS NOT FOR SALE!

Sent from my SM-N950F using Tapatalk

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My girlfriend said to buy something that would make her look sexy.

Apparently a 12 pack of lager wasn't what she had in mind.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

For her birthday, she said she'd like something from the Body Shop.

I got her a wing for a Ford Fiesta, but she wasn't impressed.

  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Anyone else see the report in today's papers, about the hospital staff who adopted a stray cat, and let it wander the wards?

I blame the doctors, for ordering all the cat scans. 😁 

Edited by Stephen Hawking
  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Relationships are like algebra.

Have you ever looked at your ex, and wondered why?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

If you think nobody cares that you're alive, try missing a couple of credit card payments.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

I've changed my password to incorrect.

That way, if I forget my password, my computer will say "Your password is incorrect".

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.




×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.