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Best Jokes You Know


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Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection, except one. He's never gonna give you Up. I hate Russian dolls. They're so full of themselves. It’s hard to explain puns to kle

I don't have a joke in particular, but funniest thing I heard was from  one of my kids in kindergarten. I told kids to draw picture of their family and when I saw one girl drew her father with big gre

I was going to tell a feminist joke but my husband wouldn't let me.

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My girlfriend isn’t talking to me because apparently I ruined her birthday.
I’m not sure how I did that – I didn’t even know it was her birthday…



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A girlfriend and boyfriend lying in bed cuddling:

GF: “Am I your dream woman?”

BF: “You are much more than that…”

GF: “How much more?”

BF: “About 40 pounds.“

Edited by son-goku5
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I was on a flight the other day when the air hostess came up to me and said, "Excuse me sir, would you like to have dinner?"

I said, "What are the options?"

She said, "Yes and No." [emoji23]


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A very sad day today. After 7 years of medical training and hard work, a very good friend of mine has been struck off after one minor indiscretion. He had sex with one of his patients and can now no longer work in the profession he loves. What a waste of time, effort, training and money.

A genuinely nice guy and a brilliant vet. [emoji23]

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

I had just been watching a video entitled: 'Hot Girl's when it crashed and asked if I would like to send an error report...No Windows... No I fucking don't

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Predict the next number in this sequence:-

1966 - 

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I've just ordered a copy of the Bible, from Amazon.

Underneath, it said "People who enjoyed this book, also enjoyed the Quran and the Torah."

Edited by Stephen Hawking

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