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I've just received instructions from the kidnappers. They say if I want my kids back, I've got to hand over my cousin Esther.

Yes, it's an Esther Ransom.

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A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.



Sent from my SM-G975F using Tapatalk

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Young Sheldon's big brother George was working on his car and getting more and more annoyed by Sheldon's questions and comments. "Here's a dollar, go down town and get me a dollar's worth of What's What" George told Sheldon. Sheldon looked at George and said "What's What?" "That's right" George said. "Just ask for a dolar's worth of What's What and they'll give it to you." So Sheldon set off on his quest a bit confused. When Sheldon got to the bad block in town, he encountered a heavily made up woman in a sheer gown standing in a doorway. Sheldon looked at her a bit puzzled, pointed to the general area slightly south of her belly button and asked "what's that?" "What's What?" said the lady. To which Sheldon replied "I'd like to buy a dollar's worth?"

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They're making a movie about a MASH unit, that treats soldiers who have suffered injuries to their genitals.

It's going to be called Saying Ryan's Privates.

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Whiskey on ice can give you liver disease.

Rum on ice can give you kidney disease.

Vodka on ice can give you heart disease.

Proof that ice is really bad for you.

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Posted (edited)

8000 men and one cubicle.

The scene was set, for the battle of Portaloo.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sperm donors wanted.

Please come quickly.

Edited by Stephen Hawking
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