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[Spoilers]Shipping Lanes: Season 9


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I think at the end of the day they both need to change their attitude and embrace some things that each other want. just because you do not want this now doesn't mean you can't change your mind later. It's called progression. Human nature. Sheldon needs to realise that Amy has changed and she want things that normal relationships have. If Sheldon can kiss Amy passionately then I'm sorry his gems phobia is out the window and sex should not be a problem now. He knows amy wants intimacy, holding hands and flowers sometimes. it not a big deal. When you get into a relationship certain things in your life will have to change and if you are not willing to compromise then there is no point in being in a relationship. The problem here is that Amy has been willing to compromise to make it work but Sheldon not so much. But then again it not all Sheldon's fault. Amy didn't help matters by not putting her foot down and letting him think it was all gravy. Hopefully now they will get on the same page and sit down and agree or disagree on issues instead of leting things slide. It's their first relationship and they both will make mistakes and hopefully they will learn second time round. You know the saying. Learn from your mistakes. Things will work out in the end. Here's a little fun gif. :)

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This is extremely easy to stay from the outside looking in.  I think it is very short sighted to say that he knows she wants it and he can kiss her so, what's the big deal?  If it wasn't a big deal, he would have done it already.  I mean, what other reason would he have failed to do so at this point?  Just to toy with her?  I know it's hard to imagine not wanting sex or being scared of sex, but it happens and people's reason for it are just as valid and should be respected just as much as those who love and enjoy sex.

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This is extremely easy to stay from the outside looking in.  I think it is very short sighted to say that he knows she wants it and he can kiss her so, what's the big deal?  If it wasn't a big deal, he would have done it already.  I mean, what other reason would he have failed to do so at this point?  Just to toy with her?  I know it's hard to imagine not wanting sex or being scared of sex, but it happens and people's reason for it are just as valid and should be respected just as much as those who love and enjoy sex.

So why be together if they want different things now. A lot of relationships end because one is not willing to evolve or move to the next step. They both need to be on the same page or it will never work in the long run. Sent from my SM-G928F using Tapatalk
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So why be together if they want different things now. A lot of relationships end because one is not willing to evolve or move to the next step. They both need to be on the same page or it will never work in the long run. Sent from my SM-G928F using Tapatalk

I don't really think they want different things.  I think Sheldon will get to the point where he wants the same level of intimacy as Amy, if he's not already there.  But I want him to be there because that's what he wants and not because he is pressured to do so.  It wouldn't be fair to either of them is Sheldon just does it and goes through the motions just to get it over with, especially since I don't think this is a case of Amy just wanting to get laid.  She wants to make love to the man she loves and she deserves to have him just as invested in that as she is.  

But, if it turns out that Sheldon decides he's never going to want that, he needs to tell her and if that's not okay for Amy, she needs to tell him and they go from there.  At this point, it is a waiting game and Sheldon has shown some signs that the waiting might be coming to an end.  We just have to wait and see on that point.

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I don't really think they want different things.  I think Sheldon will get to the point where he wants the same level of intimacy as Amy, if he's not already there.  But I want him to be there because that's what he wants and not because he is pressured to do so.  It wouldn't be fair to either of them is Sheldon just does it and goes through the motions just to get it over with, especially since I don't think this is a case of Amy just wanting to get laid.  She wants to make love to the man she loves and she deserves to have him just as invested in that as she is.  

But, if it turns out that Sheldon decides he's never going to want that, he needs to tell her and if that's not okay for Amy, she needs to tell him and they go from there.  At this point, it is a waiting game and Sheldon has shown some signs that the waiting might be coming to an end.  We just have to wait and see on that point.

Amy has never pressured Sheldon for sex. She has just let him know she wants it at some point and waited patiently for him to get there. 4years, 4 years since he told lenny it might be a possibility but no progress from him what so ever since. My point is if he is not willing to get there he should tell Amy so she can move on. Do you really want her to be waiting until late in her 60s to realise it's never going to happen. How do we know amy doesn't want kids? He needs to be honest with her so she can make a decision on where she stands. Signs to his friends that Amy doesn't see that he might be ready one day is not really prove. Amy doesn't know that because he has never hinted it to her in a serious way. And it not all about sex it the way he treated her as well. An example telling her he might be investing in the new comic store but if she give the wrong answer she is dumped. Not cool. That is just one example that leads up to Amy cup overflowing. Sent from my SM-G928F using Tapatalk
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Can you Shamy fans just cut out the BS. Let's be real, it has been five years what has changed? End of day it is a boy and a girl in a relationship. Relatioship is about compromise, and compromise is a two way street. All we have seen is Amy compromising for five years, and Sheldon making no compromises. Shamy have never given the audience a reason to root for them, as it is very robotic. Sheldon is entitled to be hurt, but I Don't like this idea that Sheldon is almost the victim in this situation, Amy is the victim here, she has the patience of a saint!

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Amy has never pressured Sheldon for sex. She has just let him know she wants it at some point and waited patiently for him to get there. 4years, 4 years since he told lenny it might be a possibility but no progress from him what so ever since.

My point is if he is not willing to get there he should tell Amy so she can move on. Do you really want her to be waiting until late in her 60s to realise it's never going to happen. How do we know amy doesn't want kids? He needs to be honest with her so she can make a decision on where she stands.

Signs to his friends that Amy doesn't see that he might be ready one day is not really prove. Amy doesn't know that because he has never hinted it to her in a serious way. And it not all about sex it the way he treated her as well.

An example telling her he might be investing in the new comic store but if she give the wrong answer she is dumped. Not cool.

That is just one example that leads up to Amy cup overflowing. Sent from my SM-G928F using Tapatalk

There is pressure for Sheldon to sleep with Amy.  Just because she is not saying, "Sheldon, sleep with me.  Sleep with me now." doesn't mean there is no pressure and he's not feeling it.  It was very apparently in the Prom episode that he was feeling it big time.  I don't think Amy is "trying" to pressure him, but he knows what the expectations are either way.  Just the fact that he knows how badly she wants it is pressure enough.  She isn't wrong for that, but neither is he for feeling uncomfortable.  The bolded part is pretty much what I have said in the post you just quoted.  

The second bolded part I feel is a very poor example because I think it was just a line played for a joke.  I think the important thing to take out of that scene is that he told the other guys if he had a wife or fiance, he would discuss it with them first.  Then, he went home and discussed it with Amy first.  There are other examples of Sheldon's wrong doings in this relationship.  That, I never saw that as one of them.

Can you Shamy fans just cut out the BS. Let's be real, it has been five years what has changed? End of day it is a boy and a girl in a relationship. Relatioship is about compromise, and compromise is a two way street. All we have seen is Amy compromising for five years, and Sheldon making no compromises. Shamy have never given the audience a reason to root for them, as it is very robotic. Sheldon is entitled to be hurt, but I Don't like this idea that Sheldon is almost the victim in this situation, Amy is the victim here, she has the patience of a saint!

Sheldon has made many compromises for Amy and traveled well outside his comfort zone.  He does a lot of things with and for her that he has never done with or for anyone else and never had the desire to.  Amy has shown herself to be very patient at times.  Amy has also shown herself to be manipulative to get what she wants at times. She has also shown herself to hold onto stuff and not communicate until she gets to a point where she just blows up.  Neither one of them are victims.  They are two people in a relationship where both of them have issues that both of them need to work on.   Amy struggles with Sheldon may be a lot easier for people to relate to.  But Sheldon has come a long way, for him.  That shouldn't be ignored just because he still has a ways to go.

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When did he ever make a crack that her wanting sex with him was gross?  And when was is the last time he made a crack at her for wanting a future with him?  The last time they talked about it he agreed that it was important to him too and started talking about moving to Mars with her and in his own Sheldon-y way said he that he wanted her by his side when/if he's dying.  

Sheldon has a lot to learn about tact, humility and maturity but let's not overstate his transgressions.

As I see it, this has been a relentlessly recurring theme.  Mars was merely the latest iteration, and he warmed to the concept of children, and family, not sex.  Mars was near the end of the season, a season cut short for Mayim by the death of her father.  I'm not going to do research, but he gave her grief about sex even in the halcyon days of season eight. When paired with his episode one and two baloney, it's egregious.  

 

And if you really don't think it's one of his sins, then it isn't much to ask for him never to do it again, is it?

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As I see it, this has been a relentlessly recurring theme.  Mars was merely the latest iteration, and he warmed to the concept of children, and family, not sex.  Mars was near the end of the season, a season cut short for Mayim by the death of her father.  I'm not going to do research, but he gave her grief about sex even in the halcyon days of season eight. When paired with his episode one and two baloney, it's egregious.  

 

And if you really don't think it's one of his sins, then it isn't much to ask for him never to do it again, is it?

There is a big difference in him saying, "Just can't keep it in your space pants" and him saying that the idea of her wanting sex, her wanting sex with him or thinking sex between the two of them is gross.  And I don't think I am being naive to think that him warming to the concept of children and family includes sex.

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There is a big difference in him saying, "Just can't keep it in your space pants" and him saying that the idea of her wanting sex, her wanting sex with him or thinking sex between the two of them is gross.  And I don't think I am being naive to think that him warming to the concept of children and family includes sex.

I agree that's the subtext, but the text (which is all Amy can hear)is "keep your pelvis far from me."  That's mean.  He's uncomfortable with sex still?  Sure, fine.  She isn't, and that's no crime.  Jokes about it are as off limits as jokes about his squeamishness, which she's never made.

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There is pressure for Sheldon to sleep with Amy.  Just because she is not saying, "Sheldon, sleep with me.  Sleep with me now." doesn't mean there is no pressure and he's not feeling it.  It was very apparently in the Prom episode that he was feeling it big time.  I don't think Amy is "trying" to pressure him, but he knows what the expectations are either way.  Just the fact that he knows how badly she wants it is pressure enough.  She isn't wrong for that, but neither is he for feeling uncomfortable.  The bolded part is pretty much what I have said in the post you just quoted.  

The second bolded part I feel is a very poor example because I think it was just a line played for a joke.  I think the important thing to take out of that scene is that he told the other guys if he had a wife or fiance, he would discuss it with them first.  Then, he went home and discussed it with Amy first.  There are other examples of Sheldon's wrong doings in this relationship.  That, I never saw that as one of them.

Sheldon has made many compromises for Amy and traveled well outside his comfort zone.  He does a lot of things with and for her that he has never done with or for anyone else and never had the desire to.  Amy has shown herself to be very patient at times.  Amy has also shown herself to be manipulative to get what she wants at times. She has also shown herself to hold onto stuff and not communicate until she gets to a point where she just blows up.  Neither one of them are victims.  They are two people in a relationship where both of them have issues that both of them need to work on.   Amy struggles with Sheldon may be a lot easier for people to relate to.  But Sheldon has come a long way, for him.  That shouldn't be ignored just because he still has a ways to go.

I get where your coming from I know a lot of shamy think I hate Sheldon. I don't. just don't like his ways and the way the writer's justify his selfishness and the idea that he is clueless when it suites them. But anyway enough of that. I don't ship shamy because I don't understand them but I love Amy and want her to be happy and if Sheldon makes her happy am all for it. You and shamy shippers must have seen that if Amy didn't manipulate Sheldon like she has, because he is so stubborn you would not have got all the kisses and the holding hands that Sheldon is doing. You guys loved it so much it worked. That was the only way to get him out of his shell. But leaving him on his own and not pushing him just makes him regress back to getting his own way. Enabling Sheldon just like lenny do is not the right solution. He needs a wake up call. we saw he was fine for 45 days without his minions. So why now can't he cope with lenny living next door after 6 months. What I don't understand is why you guys don't want him to progress and be the right guy for Amy. If amy can change for him why can't he. I have always believed if you love someone you will do anything for them and that means confronting your fears and putting them aside for love because love is what you make it. it's a 2 way street. Sheldon/Amy needs to know/realise. What is love. Sent from my SM-G928F using Tapatalk
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I agree that's the subtext, but the text (which is all Amy can hear)is "keep your pelvis far from me."  That's mean.  He's uncomfortable with sex still?  Sure, fine.  She isn't, and that's no crime.  Jokes about it are as off limits as jokes about his squeamishness, which she's never made.

We don't know that's all Amy can hear.  She's never said or intimated that.  That's all you can hear.

I get where your coming from I know a lot of shamy think I hate Sheldon. I don't. just don't like his ways and the way the writer's justify his selfishness and the idea that he is clueless when it suites them. But anyway enough of that. I don't ship shamy because I don't understand them but I love Amy and want her to be happy and if Sheldon makes her happy am all for it. You and shamy shippers must have seen that if Amy didn't manipulate Sheldon like she has, because he is so stubborn you would not have got all the kisses and the holding hands that Sheldon is doing. You guys loved it so much it worked. That was the only way to get him out of his shell. But leaving him on his own and not pushing him just makes him regress back to getting his own way. Enabling Sheldon just like lenny do is not the right solution. He needs a wake up call. we saw he was fine for 45 days without his minions. So why now can't he cope with lenny living next door after 6 months. What I don't understand is why you guys don't want him to progress and be the right guy for Amy. If amy can change for him why can't he. I have always believed if you love someone you will do anything for them and that means confronting your fears and putting them aside for love because love is what you make it. it's a 2 way street. Sheldon/Amy needs to know/realise. What is love. Sent from my SM-G928F using Tapatalk

Sometimes manipulation works in your favor, sometimes it doesn't and that's fine.  My point is that Amy does things in this relationship that is selfish to get what she wants, just like Sheldon does.  The difference in the way people see their actions and their selfishness has to do with what they consider acceptable and what they don't.  If you can better understand Amy's needs for affection and intimacy than you are more than likely to excuse her selfish acts to obtain that more than you would the selfish actions of Sheldon to maintain a sense of homeostasis.  

None of this is to say that we don't want him to progress.  I don't think there is one member on this forum that has said anything like that, just that he is not always wrong, he is not a horrible person, he does have some valid positions, he has made compromises for Amy, and that Amy isn't miss perfect here.  He has changed a lot.  All you have to do is go back to the first 3, even 4 seasons to see that.  Amy has changed quicker than him and that is no one fault, but he has changed.  He has a ways to go, no doubt.  But, he has put a lot of his fears aside for her and a lot of people here seem to dismiss and/or ignore that.

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I don't like at all the last scene of 9.9,too. I would have preferred that both agreed in turning their relationship into a friendship (temporarily, of course) rather than seeing Amy exposing herself to a rejection. That was hard to read on the taping report and I'm sure will be hard to watch when the episode airs. Anyway, we don't know how long this will be dragged out and how the writers will treat their "friendship", so it's too soon to say that if and when they repair their relationship, this will be done at the expenses of one of them, and there will be just one of them (aka Sheldon) winning, whatever winning means when it comes to relationships. At the moment, I agree, the situation is pretty unbalanced, since they don't want the same thing and the ball is in Amy's court, she has to accept something she doesn't want or give up (I guess she will accept it, for the sake of the plot...) and I hate it, but I hope in some more balance in the next episodes.

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Can you Shamy fans just cut out the BS. Let's be real, it has been five years what has changed? End of day it is a boy and a girl in a relationship. Relatioship is about compromise, and compromise is a two way street. All we have seen is Amy compromising for five years, and Sheldon making no compromises. Shamy have never given the audience a reason to root for them, as it is very robotic. Sheldon is entitled to be hurt, but I Don't like this idea that Sheldon is almost the victim in this situation, Amy is the victim here, she has the patience of a saint!

I think the Sheldon-is-Sheldon defense comes from the fact that Sheldon has pretty much been like he is from the get-go. He's changed a little, but I think Sheldon from Season 5 is still recognisable as Sheldon from Season 8. Yes, he's a difficult person, but he's never hidden that fact, so Amy can't really complain that she's getting what she was buying. As I said, I couldn't be Sheldon's girlfriend for a day, but it's not like he chained her up, either. She could have broken up at any time (and in my opinion, probably should have).

However, reading this discussion, I guess I also don't see why this relationship, out of all of them, needs to be completely fair. Is that really the way relationships are written in TBBT? Lenny probably comes the closest, but personally I don't think Howardette or Emily/Raj are healthy relationships I'd want any of my friends to be in, either. But hey, it's a (often pretty mean-spirited) comedy series, so I'm willing to laugh at the misfortunes these people will go through for companionship. I do understand that it's a little more complex if you root for two characters to be happy, though.

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We don't know that's all Amy can hear.  She's never said or intimated that.  That's all you can hear.

I'm really surprised how much pushback I'm getting for the simple suggestion that Sheldon should no longer mock, taunt or criticize Amy for wanting sex.  It's not exactly a high bar to set for him. 

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I'm really surprised how much pushback I'm getting for the simple suggestion that Sheldon should no longer mock, taunt or criticize Amy for wanting sex.  It's not exactly a high bar to set for him. 

That's not what I'm pushing back at.   I am pushing back at your use of the word gross.  There's a big difference between mocking someone for always having sex on the brain and thinking they or the idea they want to have sex with you is sick.

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Well he did say at one point "I find the concept of coitus ridiculous and off putting."  But then again, he could've been implying he felt that way about having sex with Raj's mother.  She was who they were going back and forth about right before that comment.

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An example telling her he might be investing in the new comic store but if she give the wrong answer she is dumped. Not cool.

TBH. I never really understood, why he asked her?

They're not married or living together, nor financially linked in any way.

What Sheldon spends his money on, is entirely up to him.

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TBH. I never really understood, why he asked her?

They're not married or living together, nor financially linked in any way.

What Sheldon spends his money on, is entirely up to him.

he was just asking her advice but in another episode of season 7 it was pointed out by Amy they discuss financial stuff

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I don't know what word would be better.   Unpleasant?  Uncomfortable?  Upsetting?  Awkward?  Whatever it is, he finds sex so objectionable that, not only does he not want to do it, he doesn't even want her to talk about it, or even look at him with desire.  That crosses a line.

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I don't know what word would be better.   Unpleasant?  Uncomfortable?  Upsetting?  Awkward?  Whatever it is, he finds sex so objectionable that, not only does he not want to do it, he doesn't even want her to talk about it, or even look at him with desire.  That crosses a line.

I agree with you but the question is why would he want to get married Sent from my SM-G920P using Tapatalk
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And it showed perfectly her immaturity and inexperience.  When she was first introduced she was strong and independent.  The further in love she fell with Sheldon the more she became his shadow, his doormat, etc.  She said he was a flight risk and she was afraid of his rejection.  Now Sheldon is understanding exactly how her fears about that feel and he will be be a better friend and boyfriend because of his better understandings of her past fears.  

Not necessarily, maybe now that Sheldon feels he has actually been able to make it without her he will feel even stronger in his wits and if he ever decides to take her back, he will be even more disrespectful, cruel and indifferent than ever before. With the writers making Amy stoop to such levels of self disrespect why wouldn't Sheldon actually stomp all over her? She seems to be up (down?)  for it

I don't think he's going to be lapdog Sheldon or be kind to her only because he fears losing her.  He said no to her when she wanted to get back together after only one outing.  To me that says he's not doing that.  

I think now that everyone (except Amy) knows about the ring, they also know Sheldon's true feelings about Amy and I think from here on in, they won't let him back track or let him get away with as much as they did before.  I think they're all growing up in that regard.  

I also don't think we'll get lapdog Sheldon with a side dish of humiliated Amy.  This is her time to eat crow now.  And once they've rebuilt a solid friendship again on equal footing, that's when we'll start seeing the sexual tension and they're romantic love for each other (something they didn't have the first time around as friends and something I think is still there now despite the break up) will bubble over. 

So this is her time to eat crow now? Because of course she hasn't eaten enough shit  from Sheldon in the 5 years they were together, right. If things keep going this way for her let's call the Guinness Book of World records, and let's nominate her for Shit-eating World Champion. Yay!!!!!!!!!!!

I just don't see Sheldon being wrong here. 

And you never will...

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The last bolded part is just silly.   So we can't point out things that Amy did wrong without being accused of thinking it was all her fault and Sheldon is innocent?  Just because Sheldon messed up big time doesn't mean that Amy has been perfect in her actions and we can't point that out.

No, the last bolded part is not silly. It simply means that when Amy wasn't the one making the relationship work doing ALL of the heavy lifting people got on her case even if that wasn't or should have been her responsibility. And don't come with the lame excuse that at the beginning of the season she wasn't making herself available to him. That's just bullshit. She was pretty clear: stay away from me until I can figure this out in my head, and even if he has a 187 IQ he couldn't grasp that simple request. Of course it's not that he couldn't he heard it and just didn't give a shit and did what he wanted. If you are going to be an apologist for Sheldon, by all means be it, but how about you use some facts next time?

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Not necessarily, maybe now that Sheldon feels he has actually been able to make it without her he will feel even stronger in his wits and if he ever decides to take her back, he will be even more disrespectful, cruel and indifferent than ever before. With the writers making Amy stoop to such levels of self disrespect why wouldn't Sheldon actually stomp all over her? She seems to be up (down?)  for it

Oh yes, this. What you wrote in your post is exactly one of my biggest fears for the future and also part of my great dissappointment with that turn they took in latest episode.

I know we have to wait to see what they have prepared for the next episodes, but I think fans are already picturing Sheldon as a paragon of maturity just because he behaved a little bit better, they are assuming quite a lot: that he now has a much better understanding of how relationships works. Also in Kathy's post you quoted, I haven't noticed she says he nows understand how Amy felt about him and about her fears... sorry, but I don't think so! how on earth could he understand that? it's not as if he could read minds, they had never talked about that, and even if they had, I doubt he has the emotional intelligence to understand such complex feelings and also the ability to put himself in her shoes.

Now, back to your post, even among all his bad manners and disrespect, there was one thing I thought I had clear about him: He really wanted her by his side (25 cats, anyone?), we had seen him willing to get out of his comfort zone, compromise and even fight other guys to avoid losing her, now all of the sudden, he has a 365 degrees change of attitude! He can perfectly go on with his life without her, he thinks in replacing her and even rejects her offer to get back together.

That attachment he had for her was practically the only advantage she had in the relationship, now, they had completely freed him even of that!

Apart from my absolute disapproval of the humilliation they unfairly make Amy go through, that's why I don't like this, and the reason because I can't understand how many shippers could be that optimistic about last episode, if anything, it seems as if the break up was just an excercise to make Sheldon overcome his love for her, instead of one to make him open up to her and embrace her as a very important part of his life.

 

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I'm really surprised how much pushback I'm getting for the simple suggestion that Sheldon should no longer mock, taunt or criticize Amy for wanting sex.  It's not exactly a high bar to set for him. 

that's why I try not to post in the Shamy thread anymore. I literally started questioning like do I sound like a nympho to other people maybe? Cause when I say Amy has the right to be frustrated of having no sex (sex meaning also hugs, not-just-date-night kisses, etc) in her life literally no one agrees with me.

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