wowbagger Posted October 26, 2016 Posted October 26, 2016 (edited) I admit, though, that this warp -speed movement does give me a little pause. Is the show wrapping up all the loose ends it can before it rings down the curtain? I mean, these guys are spending their storytelling coin like they know they've only got a week left to live. I suppose they've got proposals and weddings and so forth on the Shamy side as far as milestones go, and there is always coitus. But at this rate the Shamy will have at each other in the next episode. In a library. While arguing in a furious undertone over whether Richard Feynman or Oliver Sacks is a better science populariser. For the rest? Maybe we get to see Lenny settle down? Finally? And then there is Howardette Minor and the pressing issue of Ugh, Raj's love-life? But this all seems like pretty...final...stuff. Maybe I'm wrong, though. Maybe, rather than Act Three Resolution, what this REALLY is, is Act Two Manoeuvreing. Maybe -at least as far as the Shamy is concerned - this is a frantic correction of Season Nine's errors of omission. in other words: Brace yourselves for Writers' Room Fanfic: Contract Renegotiation Edition! Guest starring Emmy Winner Jim Parsons! JP: Hello, Chuck. Thank you for agreeing to meet with me. CL: Jim, what's this about? You know we can't have one-on-one meetings without the others. JP: I know, I know, and I'm sorry. But I had an idea I wanted to run past you. CL: An idea? JP: Yes. You know my salary's pretty high. CL: We really shouldn't be discussing this especially without Johnny and Kaley... JP: Oh, I'm not asking for MORE. CL: ....are Johnny and Kaley okay with this? JP: No. No. It's just me. I was just thinking, you know, my salary's so high, and I really want to help out with the show's extended run, and so...what do you say to a discount? CL: A discount? JP: Yes! CL:.......what's the catch? JP: No catch! I'm offended you'd ask! CL: What do you WANT, Jim? JP: Well, there ARE a FEW things... CL: Here we go. JP: So you know I've wanted bed scenes for the Shamy for a while now? CL: Listen, Jim. Sheldon is a beautiful, aloof Olympian untouched by the common ruck of human lusting! Didn't you watch the BBC Sherlock video I gave you? JP: I did. Benevolent Cummerbund is very attractive, Chuck, I get it. But you know I've been working out? CL: Yes, I have noticed, Jim. And so have the costume department. They don't make Flash T-Shirts in a chest size 44, Jim! JP (waves hand): Eh, use the money you've saved off my salary. Daddy's brought his guns and he's ready to FIRE! CL:.......what will you take to never say those words in that order ever again? JP: Funny you should ask. You seem like you might be interested in my SPECIAL plan. CL: Special? JP: The Shamy Playfulness, Eccentricity, Coitus and Intimacy ALlowed Plan. SPECIAL for short. Catchy, no? CL: But what does it MEAN? JP: You get $10,000 off my per-episode salary for every time I get to smile playfully at Amy. $50,000 for every time she gets to be weird and pedantic with me. $100,000 off if I get to be turned on by it. $200,000 off if I get to SAY I am turned on by it. $500,000 for a kiss. $750,000 for a bed scene. CL (curious): And for a science argument in bed ending with a make out? JP: Turn to page 23. CL (turns, reads): I just give you your bus fare?!? JP: I want to make this work, Chuck! CL: Is Mayim okay with this? JP: ...is Mayim okay with being sassy and eccentric and saying smart things instead of perfecting her 'exasperated' face? CL: It's a GOOD face. JP: She's okay with it, Chuck. CL: But the bed scenes? JP (sighing): I'm working on it. Just...just write me some fully clothed flirtation while I talk to her. Oh, I'm expensing the tequila. I'll need lots of it. CL: Jim! JP: Take it off my paycheck! CL:...well, okay. JP: Pleasure doin' business with you, Chuck. [End Scene]. by the way, if someone could find me that photo of JP on a suit sprawling in a chair looking like a James Bond villain to insert here, I'd be much obliged. Thanks in advance! Edited October 26, 2016 by wowbagger ETA: hat-tip, as ever, to nick and koops for the speculation about Captain Jim's role in all this. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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