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PrincessCharming

Big Bang Theory Roleplay!

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By popular demand, I started this thread. I thought maybe we could come up with an episode premise and then we could 'act it out' (everyone could pitch a line by anyone when they think it's appropriate.

Thoughts?

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I think it's a great idea!

I'll start.

Penny and Leonard sitting on the couch.

Penny: Leonard, you know what I've been thinking?

Leonard: What?

Penny: Maybe I don't wanna be your friend anymore. Maybe I wanna go back dating you.

Leonard :)

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Sheldon : Good, i was tired of seeing love movies with Leonard crying like a little lactose intolerant baby who wants to be breastfed LOL

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Sheldon: You do know, Penny, that it it impossible, unless you found a way to maipulate the space - time continnum, which I HARDLY think you did, for Raj, Howard and myself to vacate the room so Leonard and you could talk about whatever inconsequential thing you want to talk about, in just one second?!

Penny: Trust me, it only takes a second for me to kick your ass!

Disclaimer: I'm not a physicist, so if I wrote something incorrect, please do correct me :)

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Sheldon: 'Penny, you seem even more testy than is usual for you. I can only surmise that you are either suffering from PMS, or that the pregnancy test I noticed you bought last week has come up with some distressing results.'

Howard and Raj stop at their tracks with mouths agape, and try to look at sheldon, Leonard and Pennys tummy at the same time.

-leonard has gone pale and is near fainting.

to be continued! (by somebody else)

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Sheldon (with that condescending smile on his face): Bazinga!

All of a sudden, Sheldon's hit on the face with a pillow - courtesy of Penny, who at the same time yells: "YOU INSENSITIVE BASTARD!". Leonard runs over to the bathroom and throws up.

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Penny rushes after leonard to the bathroom.

Howard leans in and says: 'You know what this means? I mean if she has a bun in the oven?

Raj: 'Leonards in the deep end of the proverbial pool?'

Howard: 'No. It means penny's mammalian glands will start growing and growing untill they will verily burst out of her bra! Not to mention that pregnant girls are really really hot! Oh, I need to go to the bathroom!'

howard rushes to the bathroom. Screams ensue:

-oh my god!

-put it away!

-ouch, my eye!

Howard returns from the bathroom, looking rather shaken. 'the bathrooms taken, boys' he says, and walks out.

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As everybody seems left speecless, I shall continue along in a less risque manner:

Raj: I am confused: Is Penny pregnant or not.

Sheldon: I certainly hope not, although who knows what Leonard and Penny get up to when leonard delivers her 'misdirected' snaimail.

Raj: so what's with the pregnancy tests?

Sheldon: Did you not get it? It was a joke! A very well build one too!

Raj: should have guessed: nobody ever gets your jokes.

sheldon: that is true! But Raj, you better go after Howard, and I go see if I can get the toilet cleared out.

Raj: to sort the pregnancy thing out?

Sheldon: What? No! It's Halo night!!! Has everybody forgotten?!?

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Sheldon goes over to the bathroom and starts to knock. Knock, knock, knock: "Leonard!" Knock, knock... All of the sudden, Leonard opens the door, staring furiously at Sheldon, who, slightly frightened, says: "It's Halo night." Leonard attacks Sheldon, and they start to fight (in a very funny manner, of course :D ).

Penny stands mad with her hands crossed, coldly looks at Raj and says: "If you try to stop them, I'll make a woman out of you. With a knife."

Raj silently shrieks, grabs his crotch and runs out of the apartment.

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Later that evening... everybody is busy playing Halo. No sign of Penny.

Leonard: Sheldon, you really should stop your feeble attempts ar humour. they never do but harm.

Sheldon: I disagree: humour is essential part of every humans social behaviour. If I were to drop it, I would become akin to a robot.

Raj: there are some that already think you are a robot. Your inability to grasp the concept of humour could be last proof.

Howard: I must say I'm quite disappointed it turned out to be a joke. For I really would have liked to see Penny with her tummy up.

Sheldon: Fear not, Howard. The kind of life penny is leading, it is only a matter of time before...

Leonard: can we drop this conversational path already! You already made Penny leave! Who knows when she'll return.

Sheldon: Good riddance, say I! She has been a constant hindrance to our Halo nights for the past three years. Indeed, I can hardly remember the time when we actually managed to play Halo without some outside influence ruining the night for us.

Leonard: Well, maybe it is a sign that we should stop playing this childish game and get a life!

Leonard puts down the xbox controller and stalks out the room.

Sheldon: oh dear. Another Halo night down the drain. Maybe I should get new set of friends...

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Leonard walks to Penny's door and knocked, "Come In" said Penny and Leonard entered the room to see Penny's holding a pillow and crying.

Leonard: "Hey! I am sorry, you know Sheldon.. he gets cruel sometimes with his jokes.. " ..

(then trying to ease out the situation in his wavy and shaky accent) "but you know ... in deep inside his heart.... he is a.. he is a... "

(noticed Penny's getting furious ) .."ummmmm He is a Jerk... and it is very wrong of him and he should be ashamed of himself...and.."

Penny interrupted him.. "He was not wrong..I turned out to be pregnant and now i don't know what to do" (started crying)

Leonard: :O :O :O

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Leonard wakes up with a scream!

Leonard: oh thank heavens that was just a bad dream.

-I just wish last night was a nightmare too. Hmmm. Maybe I had better sneak out and get to work before Penny wakes up.

Leonard grabs a bite, and munching a sandwich, steps out to the stairwell.

Penny: Hi Leonard.

Leonard, shaken: Oh, hi Penny! you're up early!

Penny: Yeah, could not sleep, not after what, you know...

Leonard: yeah! hey about that, I'm really sorry...

Penny: No, it's all right. Truth is, it really got me into thinking. About babies and stuff. And I realized I'm not that young anymore, and If I want to have a baby, or babies, then now is the time.

Leonard: ummm...

Penny: What I'm trying to say is, Leonard, would you make a baby with me?

Leonard: What! Right now?!?

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Sheldon *coming out of the restroom*: However flattering it may sound but you cannot actually make babies... so Leonard can't possibly help you make something which is practically impossible to "make" ...

Penny: Oh Good morning Sheldon.. always nice talking to you..

Sheldon *completely ignoring the sarcastic remarks*: But to take the argument further, lets suppose you could make babies... how i wish you parents had worked harder...

Leonard *angrily*: Sheldon... this is not nice...

Sheldon: Please be specific? what is not nice? not being able to make babies or not being worked hard on? if that's later...I in this and all the gazillions of parallel universes agree with you.

Leonard: Oh yeah?maybe in one of those universes I am the smartest scientist and you're a candle stand in a liquor store.

Sheldon: Keeping in view the random nature of parallel universes...i may end up as a candle stand in a liquor store ... but believe me.. in none of them you're going to be the smartest scientist...

Penny *irritatingly*: Excuse me... I am still here... did i disappear in your parallel universe?

Sheldon: Penny Penny Penny... You can't disappear in a parallel universe... because that would be another you with us or a subset of us..not knowing anything about this universe...but i am sure you'd still be talking the same level of nonsense there too...

Penny *angrily*: it is not non-sense to ask my boyfriend to make babies with me...

Sheldon: Well if you insist that you can... I would say... please save humanity and don't...because if your baby is half as stupid... whole human race is going to be doomed.

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Penny: Well, I got you right there, Sheldon: According to current research, intelligence is not genetical, as you nerds would say.

Sheldon: We would not say that, but please go ahead.

Penny: well, according to this research thingy article I read, intelligence is an emergent feature of human brain. So, it's like every baby has a same sort of brain to begin with, and the future brightness of the baby will totally depend on what sort of work her brain is given as she grows up! So there! We could have a child that is even brighter than you, Shellyboy!

Sheldon: I highly doubt that. Also, what magazine did you read the said research report? I have not seen it.

Penny: it was in the Cosmopolitan.

Sheldon: Cosmopolitan? is that the russian science journal?

Leonard: yes, sheldon, it's the russian science journal, so could we please change the subject now?

Sheldon: all right. I have only the highest regard for current russian research, so I concur, for now. But if we are making a baby with Penny, could I suggest that we use

Leonard: No, Sheldon, we will not use the DNA you harvested from Leonard Nimoy's hankie! and BTW, we are not making baby, because you are not part of this! So just go to work or something!

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Leonard takes a look around his room before settling back to sleep. "How could I have dreamt about that...?" He then lays back down and goes to sleep.

Next day...

"Wait... you dreamt about what?" Howard Wolowitz prompted whilst the guys were eating lunch. Sheldon was nowhere to be seen though. Leonard explained the situation again.

"Dude, that would mean we'd have our own Spock!" Raj exclaimed. Leonard facepalmed.

"We are NOT going to use Penny in that way!" He glared at both Howard and Raj, who both seemed a little disappointed. Just then, Sheldon came over and sat next to Leonard.

"What took you so long, Sheldon?" Leonard asked.

"If you must know, Kripke was trying to press his so-called 'brain power' onto me, and Leslie Winkle was trying to dismiss string theory." Sheldon began to eat his lunch.

"Psst..." Howard whispered to Raj, "do you think that Sheldon's intelligence is making his dictator look small?" The two of them chuckled quietly.

"Was it necessary to say that?" Raj hissed back.

"I was being subtle. That's why I added the 'tator'."

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"Hmm... you do realise that whispering between yourselves will only make other nearby individuals more curious as to what you're discussing? So, tell me, Howard... what were you discussing?" Sheldon asked.

"Nothing, Sheldon..." Howard groaned.

"I beg to differ. See, if you had nothing to discuss, there would have been no whispering."

"Fine, let me rephrase that. Nothing that's any of your business." Howard gave Sheldon a piercing stare. Just then, Leslie Winkle sat down at the table with a cup of coffee.

"Oh Lord..." Sheldon mouthed.

"Afternoon, gentlemen." Leslie said to the others before looking at Sheldon. "Afternoon, dumbass." Sheldon said nothing in reply.

"So, Leslie... how's it going for you?" Leonard asked.

"Oh, well... I'm moving on from my experiments to see whether coitus can manipulate the opposite sex. Turns out it does actually work."

"I stumbled upon that conclusion first." Sheldon said in a condescending tone.

"I have a paper on it." Leslie gave a slight snort. "Dumbass."

Sheldon stood up and picked up his tray. "Now if you'll excuse me, insufficiently intelligent person, I have some serious work to do." He walked away from the table.

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Howard arrives back in the living room to find Sheldon putting pillow back on the chair from whence it came.

Sheldon: I do NOT appreciate being hit with a pillow, albeit a soft one, on my head. I could have encountered an acceleration flexion-extension neck injury with accompanying soft tissue damage.

Howard looks at him with a 'what the frak' expression on his face.

Sheldon: *sighing audibly and assuming a "good grief, I'll try and dumb it down for you" expression:

Whiplash, Howard. I could have had whiplash from the way that cornhusking gal just threw that pillow at me."

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"And is your hypothesis based on the fact that a pillow can be compressed with even a small amount of pressure?" Sheldon shook his head. "No wonder you never worked for a health and safety organisation."

Howard sighed. "Besides, I think we're forgetting Halo night."

"HALO NIGHT! Of course!" Sheldon set up the Xbox 360 and controllers. "Gather round, everyone. Halo night!"

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Howard stood there. He just stood there. and stared. Sheldon set that up awfully fast, and, Howard no longer wanted to play Halo. (He never did, honestly, but, hey, this keeps Sheldon happy.)

Sheldon stared at Howard. "Are you going to play? Howard, you need to play too-or my internal schedule will be ruined!"

Howard sighed. "Huhhhhhh....Oh all right." he picked up the controllers and began to play the 'child's game'.

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